Chapter Two: Auditions

Three days early for the auditions, Jedi (and non-Jedi alike) were lined up for Brute Force. The temple was ablaze with merchandise and posters and all sorts of agents sniffing out for hot talent. Yoda and Jar Jar were the first ones in line and there were only about half the population of the entire galaxy behind them. Windu had been convinced to sign up by his friend and he stood somewhere in the middle of the masses.

SATURDAY

Obi-Wan opened his cerulean eyes to find an empty bed beside him. The sheets made it look like no one had slept in them at all! His heart began to race. Something had happened to Anakin! He jumped out of bed, about to run for Yoda's advice when he realized every single Jedi wise or simple would be in line to try out for that damned reality show. He slapped his head as another realization struck him; that was probably where Anakin was as well. He peeked out the window and saw what looked like a puddle of color hundreds of feet below and his stomach dropped as he thought of how difficult it would be to find one Padawan among all that.

His brow furrowed as a hand went to his chin. Oh, he thought. I am going to murder him this time! With a groan he put on a new robe and headed out the door.

"Finally come to your senses have you?" His first friend questioned as he stood out of breath before him. Yoda moved a pointer finger from side to side. "Even Jedi Masters do not cut, General."

"No," Kenobi panted. "No, you don't understand, I am looking for Anakin. Have you seen—hey!" He cried out as a large alien of some sort picked him up by the waist and threw him back out of line. Obi-Wan's shoulders drooped as he realized just how impossible this was going to be. He stood still and tried to send a mental message to his Padawan. When no reply came after several attempts, the Jedi decided it was time to ask someone else but this time, from outside the line.

"Master Windu," he asked his comrade. "I am looking for my Padawan, have you seen him anywhere?"

"Hm… can't say I have, General. But I would try looking in the—" he was cut off as the large gates in front of the line slowly opened and numerous bouncers stepped out in front of it. The howling masses died down as one of them spoke.

"You will each be allowed in in groups of five, to save time. I don't want any stragglers or 'Siamese twins' crap, got it?" The crowd's silence answered for them.

Windu began to unroll the duct tape from his and his friend's arm. "Aw, dangit."

So the line began to move. Slowly at first, but quicker as people were kicked out sooner and sooner while the casting directors' patience wore out. Obi-Wan decided he would wait by the doors to see if Anakin would pop into view. He approached one of the bouncers (a purple-skinned fellow with long black spikes coming out of him in every which way).

He held out his arms defensively and spoke calmly. "I do not want to audition, I just want to ask you a question. Is that alright?"

The alien turned to his buddy. "Hey, Longo, watch out for me if this clown tries any mind tricks alright?" The other creature (a clump of bubbles and teeth) nodded and the purple one snapped his fingers. "Make it quick, Light-Saber boy."

"I can not seem to find my friend and I was wondering if it would be okay to stand here with you so I might spot him if he tries to enter?"

The alien looked to Longo who shrugged apathetically. "Eh… alright, just don't try anything funny."

"Oh, thank you very much, Sir."

The minutes turned into hours and before long, the line was down to its last four aspiring actors. Longo's friend then pushed Obi-Wan into the line.

"Hey, wait a minute—" he tried to protest.

"People have to go in in fives," the purple one said. "Why not give it a try, Shaggy?" He gesticulated towards Kenobi's shoulder-length hair and chuckled while the five Jedi were shoved inside the big Temple doors.

THE AUDITION ROOM

When Obi-Wan stepped into the room where two men and a woman sat at a long table he nearly had a convulsion. For there, on the bloody staff of casting directors, were Chancellor Palpatine, his assistant Sly Moore, and—

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan exploded. "I was worried sick! Do you know how long I have been waiting out there to try and find you? Do you know how many times I had to suffer being told I looked like the guy from Big Fish? And how lovely my singing voice had been in Moulin Rouge?" He took a breath then continued shouting. "What in the Force even is Moulin Rouge?"

"Master," the younger man said with his head down. "I must advise you, this is not a good way to start off an audition."

"Audition!" Obi-Wan gawked. "You think that is what this is about? Anakin—"

Palpatine cut the General off by beginning to clap. Kenobi stopped short, staring as Sly Moore joined in on the applause. Anakin kept eye contact and let his Master know without words that he had no clue what the other two were doing.

The Chancellor stood. "Excellent, Master Kenobi! I see you are an actor with much enthusiasm! Why else would you pre-set a real-life scenario with your apprentice to perform for us?"

He opened his mouth then shut it then tried the speaking thing again. "You think that I was—"

"Now, now, don't be modest!" Palpatine said with a friendly laugh. "You will be on the show I guarantee it! My assistant Sly will call you first thing Monday morning with details. Now, if my assumptions are correct, you are the last one, Obi-Wan?"

Still flabbergasted, he managed to stammer out, "Why… yes I think so."

"Then I will let you have your precious Padawan back," he laughed once more and patted Anakin's head. The latter male stood up and walked over to his Master with a shy smile on his face. "I'll see you both on the set then!" Palpatine called after them.

Obi-Wan stopped walking and turned to Anakin.

"I-I couldn't help it, Master," the younger one said. "He offered me a part and I just thought… well, I thought it would provide me with better social skills, Master."

Kenobi sighed resignedly, knowing there was nothing he could do about it now. "At least I will be there too." Anakin smiled. "Only to keep an eye on you, mind!"

"Of course, Master."