Chapter Three: The Meeting

"Uh-huh… yes… Wait, when is that? Okay… okay, thank you very much, goodb—huh? No, I have never heard of the movie Down with Love. Okay, thank you anyway, goodbye." Obi-Wan hung up the phone and made his way into the kitchen where his apprentice was busy putting away the dishes. The older Jedi watched him for a moment, feeling proud and glad at how nice of a young man Anakin had become. Oh he would go on to a happy life… make good choices, find a nice career, and make any Padawan proud to be a Jedi.

Anakin looked up. "Master?"

The Jedi snapped out of it. "Oh—yes, we will be meeting with Sly Moore at eight thirty today at the Wamprat Wagon."

The younger man's brow furrowed. "Isn't that place sort of…sketchy?"

"Oh I'm sure it's fine. Now, she also told me that light-sabers are forbidden on the show so we are not to bring them. Everything else she said that she would get to once we were all together tonight."

THE WAMPRAT WAGON

Sly Moore sat across the table from the other five guests at the dark pub. Her pale, hairless skin shone with the light the neon sign above their heads emanated. She took a sip from her Konyak and began speaking. She was, however, interrupted when a drunken Gungan swaggered up beside her.

"Hey belch baby. What say wesa kisskiss, eh?" He puckered his huge, wet lips and leaned forward, nearly engulfing Sly Moore's egg-like head.

"Away from me, Amphibian!" She shrieked, blasting him with a shot of electricity from her hand. The other Jedi sat with their mouths and eyes wide open. Sly cleared her throat and started again.

"You didn't see that. Anyway, what the show Brute Force is basically trying to accomplish is to show the world what the virtuous Jedi is really like when he is reduced to his most primitive instincts. What he is like when there is no war, no chain of command, and no law." The last she said with a smile. "All of you will be placed in a house, moderately sized, with the basic necessities. However, you will not be allowed to leave and there will be no meditation so that you can simply "zone out" for the next two months."

At the sound of this, one of the Jedi (Yoda as a matter of fact) let his ears droop down to his shoulders. He whispered to the Jedi next to him (Jar Jar Binks) and whispered.

"Planning on that, I had been."

"We probably would have voted you off anyway."

"Wait… how did you get on this show? You're not a Jedi! And heck, we just had a Gungan make an appearence!"

"…Well the writer needed some easy-laugh material so she slapped mesa in here. Also, she wanted an expendable character because the fifth member of the show is—"

It was then that the author of this fanfiction entered the bar and wrapped some duct tape around his lips, since they seemed to be the cause of so much trouble in this chapter.

Yoda patted the author on the hand with a smile while Obi-Wan and Anakin exchanged accepting faces.

"Yes, anyway," Sly Moore said, drawing back the five members' attention. "The rest of the rules follow as such: no light-sabers, no using the Force, no guests invited into the house. Does that seem simple enough?"

The five people nodded.

"Good. The show begins tomorrow and will be filming at that little igloo on Tatooine."

Anakin spoke up, "Hey, my family lives there!"

Sly rolled her eyes. "Not that igloo, the one near Maul-y-wood Boulevard. Geesh, think you have the only igloo in the entire galaxy?"

Anakin furrowed his brow and decided it best to just be quiet.

"A question, Ms. Moore," asked the last person seated at the table.

"Yes, Fifth Member of our show?"

"When does my identity get revealed?"

"Eh, I dunno, when the author runs out of interesting plot material I guess."