Glossary:
daimyou - feudal lord
ohayou - morning
honto - really?
doushite - why
demo - but
houshi - buddhist monk
nani - what
kotodama - rosary beads
yukata - something like a kimono, not as elaborate, worn usually for bathing or summer, at home too.
nagare-boshi - shooting star
ja - well/then
sore de - and then/and so
daijoubu - it's alright
kawaisou - pitiful
"But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near."
- Andrew Marvell (1621-1678)
A soft glaze fell over his golden eyes as the corners of his lips turned up a fraction; she was sleeping soundly and deeply, with her head resting in the crook of his neck again. When he asked her why she did not sleep on his lap, she merely said that his pulses made her sleepy. Her long hair was pooled on his lap and he could hear her slow deep breaths. She was so dead in her sleep with him that he sometimes wondered whether a thunderstorm would be able to wake her up. Did she sleep on Inuyasha the way she did on him too? Was he able to grant her a peaceful dreamless sleep like he did?
From the limited account of her traveling with Inuyasha, it seemed to him that Kagome had a knack of bumping into the worst situations, even though she had insisted vehemently that his hanyou brother did his best to protect her. He thought that she must have loved Inuyasha a lot, in order to believe and defend him so much, even now. He simply could not justify the near loss of her soul to Naraku's underlings and the undead miko as mere 'accidents' nor 'slip-ups'.
He was also amazed that she had somehow survived in this era, with all the silly wars of daimyou's going on and even following Inuyasha around, who seemed utterly thoughtless, brainless and reckless to him. Did her mother not want to marry her off? Was her family so lax with their disciplines? Had she no pre-arranged marriage? He only knew that she was eighteen, and she would not divulge anymore than that.
But he was not eager to press on for more information.
Kagome did not really want to touch on issues related to their relationship nor answer certain questions, and he would respect her decision. Afterall, he himself was not sure of what he could give her. And by not thinking too much, he had the most wonderful two weeks with her, and he was sure that Kagome felt the same too. He knew that the time would come eventually, for them to make a decision but until then, he would wait.
So much time had passed by for him, surely a little more would not matter.
His left shoulder was starting to feel a little tired, and he smiled to himself again, while trying not to think what an idiot he must looked like now.
She would alternate her positions every night, and no matter how much he insisted on resting alone, she would moan and groan and tug on his top until he gave in. He was rather surprised to her change of attitude overnight initially. She was displaying her affections openly like a little human girl, and behaving like one sometimes. Not that he disliked it; he actually welcomed the sudden change. This adorable side of her made him less tensed, even though he did not know why he was always iso/i uptight. Perhaps it was his nature, or perhaps it was because he was a youkai. He surmised that one would have to be always on the lookout for potential enemies, and to be extremely cautious and wary too. But when he was in a battle, it seemed to him he could let go of all that tension since his enemy was visible, although this was not always the case.
He closed his eyes, wondering to himself again what kind of a person he was like before he lost his memories. Everyday he would discover a little more about himself, but the stray, cloudy pieces of puzzle here and there did not fit well together at all. Too many overlaps for him to sift out, too many gaps for him to fill in; but there was no Kagome in the loose pieces. A small deliberate sniff brought him out of his train of thoughts.
"Lazy girl," he mumbled as Kagome raised a finger to rub her runny nose. Rin had already went scouting for her morning meal and Jaken as usual had to follow her.
He could hear the faint melodious chirping of birds and Ah-Un chewing noisely and laboriously on whatever there was around. He could feel the tender green shoots that shot from the ground as the soft prickly tips brushed against his fingers, and the warm sunshine which indicated that the day was not early anymore. Spring would arrive soon, he could feel it in the air. He knew that most of the snow had melted and it was not as chilly as before. There was a delectable scent of freshness and newness, and he thought that Kagome was exactly like that. She was like a refreshing addition to his life, in many ways possible, and in many ways unimaginable.
He moved his hand over to her exposed cold thighs, and gave it a tender rub. It was his gentle way of waking her up, and at the same time taking the opportunity to caress her soft yet lean thighs. Kagome stirred, and as usual, took a while to wake up fully. She almost did not want to, she had some of the best sleep with him, even without a sleeping bag.
"Ohayou..." she did not move from her position but merely stretched her stiff legs. Never had she felt so comfortable with someone before, not even Inuyasha; and it scared her sometimes, when she thought of the day that she had to leave him.
"You'll break my neck if you refuse to get up," he greeted her back coolly.
She scowled, but continued to press her face into his neck. Ever since that day, they had not mentioned a single thing about their relationship nor what would happen in future. And it was almost blissful for the past two weeks, other than the occassional sadness that she felt when she thought of her would-be departure that hung at the back of her mind constantly. Kagome was sure that Sesshoumaru felt the same too, just that none of them was willing to break the agreement that they had set up. No matter how hard she tried, nor how many times she went through the speech in her mind, she just could not bring herself to break the news to him. She knew that she would not be able to handle his lack of responses, and it gave her a splitting headache everytime she tried to sort through her rambling thoughts and decisions.
Perhaps she would leave quietly.
He wanted to frown at her childish behaviour, yet smile at how endearing she was to him at times. In the end, he decided to get up without her; that was his not-so-gentle way. Kagome gave a surprised yelp at how fast he stood up, and an angry ouch later when she was deposited on the ground like a lump of meat on the chopping board.
"It's still early!" she pouted as she sat on the wet melting snow awkwardly. Her knee-length skirt was damp and it would be unsightly, especially at where the damp patch was.
"Not," he smirked and turned his nose up, knowing that this action of his irritated her. He felt like teasing her today, and he would. Yes, Kagome brought him joy too. Precious joy that he could never get enough of. It was so rare, yet he thought he had almost experienced all the different kinds of it.
The simple pure joy of being with her, the hilarious joy when she made a fool of herself, the deep joy of having her sleeping with him, and the indescribable, speechless joy that flowed through his whole inner being when they kissed. It was as if she belonged to him, and he to her. And if souls were tangible, he was sure that theirs danced together when their lips touched.
"You did that on purpose didn't you!" Kagome got to her feet hurriedly and tried to peer to her back; Rin would undoubtedly ask why her skirt was wet, and Jaken would definitely roll his yellow eyes at the dark spot. It was her favourite pleated skirt too, in a lovely shade of periwinkle blue.
"I do not bother myself with such silly stuff," he steadied the two swords in his obi and turned to walk away. He wanted to head for the West, to study and learn more about his so-called lands that she had told him. It was like inheritance, or treasure that he felt he ought to seek and take hold of.
Kagome smiled, he was teasing her, and she knew that. How many times had he teased her under the pretense of complete irritation and utter boredom? And that unmistakable mocking, condescending tone that she could almost mimick. She caught up with him in a moment and pulled his top hard. His feet stopped instantly.
"Carry me."
His eyebrows went up. Did he hear correctly what she was saying?
She knew that he was surprised, and she had expected that. "I want you to carry me. My legs are still stiff, my skirt is wet, I'm hungry and I don't have the energy to walk, and it's so cold and I don't have my coat and-"
He rolled his eyes. How could anyone spew so much rubbish and nonsense? He hated her sometimes, the way she made use of him.
"Get up," he kneeled down on one knee, letting out a defeated silent sigh, and told himself that this was how the mighty fall.
Kagome smiled victoriously to herself, no doubt she was making use of his feelings towards her, but that was exactly why she was so happy about. Sesshoumaru liked her, enough to carry her on her back. Enough to let her sleep with him, enough not to ask questions when she did not want to answer. She wrapped her arms around his slender neck and her smile grew wider as she buried her nose into his hair. He always smelled nice, with or without a bath. If only he was not Sesshoumaru, not a taiyoukai, not Inuyasha's brother. The sadness plagued her mind again.
"You will get down when we reach Jaken and Rin," he hooked his right arm round the back of her knee and brought her up effortlessly with him. Although he really did not mind a bit, at all.
"Okay," she rested her chin on his right shoulder, "tonight I will sleep on this shoulder."
"Do not behave like a child," he tried not to grin.
"I am a child," she retorted with a pout.
"You are not one anymore."
He was right. Women of her age would be married with two kids in his time.
"But I am only eighteen, and you are eight hundred years old! So I am a child compared to you."
He thought that he had never heard of a lousier excuse and comparison before. How dared she compare herself to him! He thought indignantly.
"No."
"Why not? Jaken and Rin won't say."
"No," he repeated again.
"I like your pelt and it keeps me warm..." she pleaded.
"That is an heirloom pelt, not for you to sleep with," he said dryly.
"But you have no need for it anyway."
He paused for a while, he could not always give into her. He had to win too.
"You can sleep with it, away from me," he emphasized pointedly.
She thought for a while, she could not lose to him, especially when she was winning all the time.
"Don't you like it when I sleep with you?" she rubbed her face against his striped cheek like a purring cat.
His right eyebrow shot up at her action and he lied, "no."
"Honto?" she tried to sound as sad as possible.
"Hn."
"Doushite?"
"Your head is heavy," he thought of the numbing ache in his left shoulder.
She scowled. "My head is not heavy!"
He groaned silently and tried not to roll his eyes too, "no, sleep somewhere else."
"You are possibly the most heartless man I've ever known! Here I am offering myself to sleep with you and you refuse me!" she tried to speak in the dramatic tone that she had used in her school drama. It was afterall well received and her classmates had even encouraged her to go for acting courses. To be the next superstar, Eri had told her earnestly.
He decided to keep quiet, it was futile to argue with a foolish woman over a silly topic like this. Besides, he did like to rest with her. It was not important for him to win this round, or perhaps he did not mind being the loser again.
"Tonight I shall sleep on this shoulder," Kagome smiled dreamily at his silent consent and leaned her ear against his large pointy one. She had won.
Sesshoumaru let out an audible sigh; he had lost again, in all willingness though.
Sango stared at the starry skies while Kirara curled on her lap quietly.
"Spring comes early this year, isn't it?" Miroku leaned back on his two arms.
"Ee, I wonder where is Kagome-chan now," she stared hard at a particular pair of stars that were almost bunched up together.
His eyebrows creased slightly, "I hope she comes back for New Year."
Her gaze flitted to the monk lazing beside her, "I hope she is safe. Do you think she really is with Sesshoumaru?"
Miroku paused for a while, "I don't think Kikyou-sama is lying."
Her soft brown eyes rounded, "demo Kagome-chan can't be with him!"
"Everything and anything can happen," he replied honestly.
"But there's no reason why she is with Sesshoumaru... " Sango bit on her lower lip.
"Aa. But Kagome-sama does not think like us," he added thoughtfully.
Sango paused for a while, he was right. "Do you think she will tell us if that is the truth?"
He shrugged his shoulders and took a quick glance around, making sure that the hanyou was not back from collecting fuel for their nightly fire. "I am sure she will not tell Inuyasha."
She rested her chin on her legs as she drew them in, "I'm worried for Kagome-chan. She is too trusting sometimes."
He shifted his seat a little nearer to her, "aa, I'm afraid so. Kagome-sama is exceptionally kind and forgiving too. But don't worry, I am with you."
A blush came over her cheeks, "houshi-sama! Nani-"
The redness left her face as she felt something groping for her butt. There was no mistake about it. She had afterall encountered such advances for three whole years. She was starting to get weary of it, and wished that Miroku would just grab and kiss her.
PIAK!
The slap resounded in the still night air, and Sango could feel the buzzing sting in her hand.
"Ah..." Miroku caressed the burning palm print over his left cheek, comforting himself that at least he had finally managed to cup her bottom. It had been a long while since he had last gave it a nice, firm squeeze.
"I wish you had a kotodama around your neck like Inuyasha," the taijiya said coldly while Miroku gave her a not-so-surprised look.
"Kagome-neesan, you have not finished the story yet," Rin gave a light tug at her periwinkle pleated skirt. Kagome turned around and smiled, "I'll tell you as we walk ne?"
"Where are we going?" Rin swiveled her head around, they seemed to be approaching a village.
"To get you a new yukata!" the happy smile never left Kagome's face.
"For Rin?" the little one's eyes rounded.
"Hai! You are growing, and you have been wearing this for so long. It's getting a little short," Kagome nodded her head knowingly and stole a peek at him. Expressionless, as usual.
Rin was so elated that for a while she did not know what to say. Sesshoumaru-sama was getting her another yukata, that was something new and rare.
"Jaken-sama!" she turned to her right and beamed at the kappa-youkai, who in turn gave her a dour face as he pulled Ah-Un's leash. He had used to walk beside his lord, but now fell behind with the ningen ward as Kagome took over his place. Times had changed.
"Rin, where did I stop last time?" Kagome weaved her fingers through his, and continued to walk on even though Sesshoumaru paused, just for a split second. She ignored his hesitation and in that split second, decided to take Rin's hand with the other one.
"Was it where Sophie tried to catch the dying nagare-boshi?"
"Hai!" Rin nodded her head. She wanted Hauru to end up with Sophie, and Sesshoumaru-sama with Kagome-neesan.
She closed her fingers over both the taiyoukai's and the little one's hand, and gave him a tight squeeze. His hand was large and calloused, like Inuyasha's, but it gave her a rather different feeling. A smile crept up her face as he did the same and gave her a not-so-gentle squeeze. He thought that her hand was so small and her bones so thin and brittle that he instantly loosened his grip and held her as gently as possible. He could not remember doing such a thing with her at all, and it was definitely different from holding a katana. She felt like china to him. Precious precious china.
"Ja... Calcifer tried to tell Sophie that Hauru had given his heart to him when he was a young boy, but she just could not understand. Calcifer could not reveal to her outright since he and Hauru were bound to the curse. It was a very nasty curse."
She took a glance, and saw that Rin was looking nervously back at her.
"Sore de, the evil witch that had cursed Sophie was hunting Hauru down too. So Hauru had to move his castle away to a safer place, where the witch could not locate him. He tried to break the curse too, since he was a very very powerful wizard."
"Like Sesshoumaru-sama?" Kagome could hear angry outbursts of 'mochiron!' and 'baka!' behind her.
She pursed her lips, and gave her most thoughtful look, "hmmm... maybe not."
He arched his eyebrows up, while Rin gave a look of disbelief. No one could rival her lord!
"Hauru was more than powerful, he had found a way to travel to Sophie's world, and back to his own. He was much stronger than any wizards, and the King only wanted him. The only thing was that he would die soon if the curse was not broken."
Rin gasped loudly at the possibility that her lord might die, again.
Kagome laughed softly, "daijoubu, Hauru is smarter than the witch!"
Sesshoumaru made a noise in his throat, he was much better than her fictional 'Hauru' in all possible ways.
She ignored it and cocked her head to the girl, "demo Hauru only has a very short amount of time, so he tried his best to break the curse. And in the meanwhile, he got to know another pretty lady in his world, who was working as a teacher and Sophie thought that he was smitten with her, since she was very clever too."
Rin gasped again, she was sure that Sesshoumaru-sama only wanted Kagome-neesan.
"Sophie was very, very upset. But she could not show it you see. She still thought that Hauru did not know she was actually a young lady, and that he loved the pretty lady in his world very much. He would visit her very often, leaving Sophie in the castle alone with Calcifer and his apprentice. She was very lonely, and depressed at the same time."
"Kawaisou..." Rin said her thoughts out loud.
"Ara! We're here!" Kagome pointed to the outskirts of the village excitedly. It had took her a long time to convince Sesshoumaru that Rin needed a longer and a bigger yukata. And he had refused her outright so many times until she asked him how he would feel if her skirt could barely cover her.
He had not wanted to go near humans, knowing that a commotion would be created upon the sight of him. But he had no choice, she was right. He had wanted to say that her skirt was not that long either but decided not to. He could imagine the long senseless draggy argument she would start, and he knew she knew how much he hated it.
He was shocked, really, at how well she understood him. To the extent that he was a little frightened, and wanted to withdraw himself away from her sometimes. But he could not. It seemed that everytime he tried to do so, Kagome would somehow weave a spell over him, unconsciously like Sophie and brought him back to her. It was as if there were invisible cords tied around his soul and her fingers, and they got thicker and stronger as the days went by.
He had tried to imagine that she would not stay with him, would leave him for her friends and Inuyasha, would forsake their relationship. Kagome was so happy and so carefree that it bothered him. It was unlike of her not to think at all, since he realized that she had a tendency to over-analyze and get depressed, even though she hid it rather well. And he had to admit that it was panic he felt, and dreaded it very much. He would have no reason, no excuse to keep her by his side, nor to prevent her from leaving. The more Kagome refused to talk about it, the bigger his worry grew and loomed. It gnawed on his insides silently, and the ominous fear of their parting grew more real as it lurked at the back of his mind constantly like a sticky shadow.
His eyebrows knitted together in a light frown. The more he struggled with it, the worse it became. He was sinking into quicksand, faster than he could get himself out, faster than he could take a proper mouthful of air, faster than he could say no to it. The irony was that he knew there was no spell cast over him. Yet, he could not figure out what it was. His feelings towards Kagome were similar to what he felt towards iher/i, yet quite different in a way too. It was more... "expansive", he tried to comprehend.
"Bothersome," he mumbled to himself as the females walked excitedly into the village without him.
Naraku smiled. The Shikon no kakkera embedded within Chiyo's forehead was glowing a beautiful dark purple, and he could see the murderous glint from her red crimson eyes. She was a perfect killing machine, with no mind and character of her own. Lines appeared on his forehead as he thought of the information that Byakuya had passed him.
To be honest, he was a little stunned, and perhaps a little shocked that Kanna would betray him. She was so quiet and so obedient that he had never really thought her capable of such a thing like betrayal. It was something what that pitiful Kagura would do, but not Kanna. Still, he felt that luck was still on his side, no matter what the seer had predicted for him. He had gone through so much for so many years to achieve what he had now, and he was not willing to back down just because of some silly hocus-pocus visions by the fire-lake. The Shikon no Tama would be almost completed in his hands, and with that he would be able to command the forces of nature and life. What more of his own life? Fate would yield to him then.
A cruel smile overtook the lines in his face, he would use Chiyo to get rid of Kanna, and then Byakuya. He could not trust that illusionist youkai too, he could see the deceit in his laughing eyes and neutral mannerisms. But first, he had other things to see to. Like the relationship between Sesshoumaru and Kagome.
He found it hard to believe initially, until his own Saimyoushou reported exactly as what Byakuya had said. Naraku thought for a while as he rested against the wooden wall of his dark room lazily. He had tried to take control of Kagome's soul and mind before, but had failed each time. The miko was terribly resilient to him, as if there were powers in her own soul that she could draw upon to fight him back, like that damned Kikyou. He would have to break Kagome, before she turned into another Kikyou. Upon that thought, he closed his eyes and frowned real hard.
It was too risky, to keep her alive, for long.
"Chiyo, I shall give you your first task."
Kagome looked up as she rested her cheek on her hand; the midnight sky was sprinkled with so many stars that she could not find a blank piece of sky to think nor to meditate. She could hear Rin yakking happily to Jaken about her new green floral yukata and see Sesshoumaru sitting silently beside her from the corner of her eye. His bright golden eyes were wide open and staring out to the half-frozen lake. The bright beams of moonlight lent an odd delicate fragile look to his chiselled features, as if his skin was made of porcelain and would crack to a thousand pieces with one touch.
Her eyes moved back to the skies as she tried to find an empty spot amidst the bright sparkling dots. Her heart was heavy today, she had heard the villagers talking about the coming of the New Year. She had seen them bustling about in excitement and happiness as each made their preparations for the festival. And she asked herself whether she was the only one who was not excited about the New Year, at all.
She bit on her dry lower lip, she would have to return to Inuyasha and her friends soon. She had missed them much, thought of them much, and even wondered whether Kaede would prepare her favourite vegetable stew for New Year celebrations. But she knew that she would miss him too. She would miss his steely voice in the day, she would miss his nightly gentle whispers as she drifted off to sleep. She would miss his teasing, his sarcasm, and the monotonous way he said 'no' to her.
She would miss his warmth, the abrupt way his lips touched hers when Jaken and Rin were not around, and the possessive hungry kiss they shared when they were alone. She thought that she could feel her fear, and his too, in their kisses, occasional touches and lingering embraces. It was so tangible and real, that it shook her core sometimes, dragging her back to reality that her time with him was limited.
But what could she do? Sesshoumaru was still not sure of his feelings towards her, and she did not blame him, although she did not understand why either. She had at one time wanted Inuyasha to love her, to choose her and to forget about Kikyou. So intent was she last time that she almost could blame the hanyou; for not being hard enough on her, for not initiating a clean break, and for almost leading her on. But she knew that it was not his fault either; Inuyasha did love her, in his own way.
And now? She could not even harden her heart against Sesshoumaru. Somewhere deep within her, Kagome hoped that something will happen to him, to her, or for them. And she hated that hope, it was working against all odds, toiling labourously away yet refuse to die. Lingering around, slithering around, running around in her heart. She thought that her whole being was infested with it, big fat hopes. Bouncing around, flying around, swarming around in her mind everytime she peeked at him, everytime he smirked at her, everytime he encircled her waist with his long strong arm.
She let out another long sigh. Hope made her felt trapped too. "What an irony..."
"Kagome," her sighs got to him, though not in an irritated way.
"Hmm?" she drew her legs in and wrapped her arms around them.
"What did you do this morning?"
"Eh?" she cocked her head to him.
"This," he took her hand awkwardly, not knowing what to do with it.
Sesshoumaru was holding her hand carefully as if it was some expensive antique, and she stared at it for a long while.
"Oh!" she smiled, all ugly despairing thoughts banished from her mind as she blushed.
His face turned to her just a little, he thought he could hear her smile.
Kagome inserted her fingers through his slowly and closed down on his hard knuckles, "this is 'holding hands'."
A gentle night breeze blew his bangs to the other side, and she could see the slight arch of his eyebrows.
"We do this... to signify that both like each other, and are together..."
"Hmmm," he closed his clawed fingers over her hand and remained silent for a while. "You humans have a funny way of showing it."
"Then how do youkai do it?" she asked.
He narrowed his eyes a little and she thought he smiled a little, "many ways. But not as gentle as holding hands."
"Oh," Kagome blushed hard. She knew what he meant, and she knew that he knew too.
"For now, I am satisfied with this," he resumed his lordly tone again.
She thought that her ears and neck burned when he said that. Was he hinting-
"Kagome, do you want to be with me?" he had to ask now that she brought up the subject. Surely he was allowed to ask this.
Her blush and smile faded away. Could she tell him now? Time was running out, for the both of them. She almost could see the hourglass beside their interlocked hands. She could almost hear the soft trickling of sand as every second ticked by. She almost could feel time slipping soundlessly away through the tiny gaps in between their fingers. Kagome subconsciously tightened her grip on his hands and shut her lids.
It was painful, yes, more than painful for her to acknowledge the truth herself. Her dreaminess for the past two weeks was whittling away with his question, swirling down lifelessly into a whirlpool along with her hope that time would stretch itself as long as it could. It was a simple question, and she knew what her heart desired. Yet she could not give in to it. How many times did she have to go through this? She asked, hoping that Someone would answer her. But there was not even a whisper in the air.
Sesshoumaru felt her squeeze, it somehow felt fearful and painful the way she pressed her blunt nails into his palm; vulnerable and desperate the way her fingers tried to squirm so gently and push them deeper into the grooves of his hand. As if there was something hiding in between their palms, and she was afraid that it would escape. She did not answer him, there was a long stretch of silence and he remained equally quiet.
He knew that there was something that she wanted to say, to tell him, but did not. He could almost hear the regretted sigh and whisper when she opened her mouth everytime, before she decided against it and went on to other subjects. What exactly had she wanted to say? What exactly bothered her so much that she could not spit it out? He shut his eyelids too, and in turn gave her small hand a tighter grip. If she wanted to close all the possible gaps and space, then he would too. He would do ialmost/i anything and everything for Kagome, if only she asked.
She smiled, even though she could feel the blood draining away from her hand. She did not mind the hard forceful grip of his, it somehow made her felt better. She would not be with him, but perhaps, things would not be that bad. They would still see each other, just not alone, that was all.
She loosened her grip, and he instantly followed. She scooted nearer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He hunched his back a little to accomodate her height, and tilted his head a little to her.
"There are many many stars tonight," her eyes remained closed.
He remained silent, because she sounded a little sad.
"The sky is so pretty tonight. Do you like star-gazing?"
He thought for a while. He was not sure whether it could be considered as his hobby. He remembered that he stared at the skies rather often, although the reason behind it completely eluded him now.
"I like to watch the stars here, the view is different from my house," she continued on her own.
"Hn," he wondered whether that was her hobby too.
"I wish you can see, then we can watch the stars together."
He made up his mind, he wanted his sight back.
"Time passes so fast..." her eyelids drooped. The image of hourglass returned to her mental canvas.
"Aa," he said with all conviction. Time flew like her hamaya when she was with him.
She turned her face a little, burying her nose into him as she inhaled deeply.
"It is funny you know. I never expected this at all."
"This?" he asked.
"Hn, to sit beside you and look at stars. To like a person like you, and for you to like me too."
"Aa," he wondered again what kind of a youkai he was before he lost his memories.
"What do you like about me?" she knew that it was a silly question, but she still wanted to know. She could not have him, but she could keep the knowledge and her feelings for him. They would become precious memories for her, precious keepsakes that no one could ever snatch away from her.
He let out a silent tight-lipped sigh as the heavy and light snoring of Jaken and Rin behind them reached his sharp ears. Her questions were harder than his. He fumbled around in his mind, trying to search for words that might possibly describe his 'affections' for her.
"You are a contradicting creature."
Her deep brown eyes widened, it was the first time she had ever heard of such a reason. Was he even replying to her?
"You are foolish, but intelligent at times. Silly, but sensible in a way. Not very lovable, yet you are to me. Does this Sesshoumaru answer your question?"
Her eyes misted. "Go on, I want to hear more," she whispered softly.
He paused for a while. "You are fragile, but not weak. You are not very adorable too. And very talkative sometimes. Too talkative in fact."
She giggled a little, sadly, and she could feel the wetness squirming around the rim of her eyes.
"You contradict yourself, irritate me, and make use of me all the time. But I am not angry, nor curious. Yet I wish to probe into your mind, to know what you are thinking."
There was a pause, and his thumb stroked her fingers lazily.
"You often confuse me and give me headaches. This Sesshoumaru does not understand why his heart yearn for you too."
Her vision blurred, something rose to her throat and halted there. She smiled, and willed her tears not to fall.
He could not think of what else to say, and fell back to silence again.
They remained in that position for a long while. One repeating to herself what he said, the other trying to understand why she had asked him that question.
"I think, I like to watch the stars too. You will watch with me, when I can see," he said solemnly.
She blinked, smacked her lips, and could taste salt. It stung her dry mouth, and her insides.
"Maybe we'll see a meteor shower then," she gave his hand a gentle squeeze and smiled.
A/N: Many thanks to JadedNamida and Trouble in ShangriLa for looking through this chapter!
