Chapter Eight : Three Questions

((Yeah, Monty Python humor again… says I can't write about real people, but you all know I will mean by me saying MJ, right? WINK))

Since neither Anakin nor Obi-Wan had ever heard of Earth music, both of them simply stood astounded at the pale white creature in front of them, their laughter slightly dying down. The next thought that came to their minds was; oh this poor alien.

"Tell us, unfortunate creature, what planet are you from?" Obi-Wan inquired.

"Me?" Maul/MJ asked, sounding very odd to the audience because remember, his voice is like thiiiiiiiiiiis low. Anyway, Anakin waved for "Maul" to continue. "I'm from Earth."

Obi-Wan nodded and said to his Padwan, "Oh yes, I think of heard of this 'earth'. Some desolate system; very primitive I hear."

Anakin nodded sympathetically. "Do they all look like this?" He whispered. His master shrugged while Maul got to his feet in a rage. The light-staff was still in his hands because the author forgot to remove it---erm, I mean, he used the force to call it to him… yeah, that's it. So, there was Maul with his light-staff glancing at Anakin thinking if only he was a little younger—(GAH! Sorry, couldn't help it!), Anakin holding out his light-saber with an uncomfortable look on his face, and Obi-Wan with only his bare hands (and super-speed, right? I heard he had that…eh, he does now). The latter stepped top be behind the Jedi's opponent.

"You think you too can defeat the evil that is Michael Jackson? Ha!" The Sith laughed. "I blow my nose in your direction, foolish Jedi-types!"

Obi-Wan muttered, "He's a loony…"

But it was Anakin who finally saved the day.

"I do not wish to fight you, Oh Evil Lord Michael Jackson. Why not settle this peacefully?"

"Well… I always was a lover, not a fighter."

"Erm… kay. Well, I'll ask you three questions. If you answer all three right, you can kill us—"

Obi-Wan's eyes nearly popped. "ANAKIN!"

The younger one looked to his Master with a meaningful glance then proceeded. "Do you accept?"

"Eh, sure, we need to get this plot moving somehow."

"Okay. You should know this since you're from Earth, I mean how big can it be? Question One: What are the longitude and latitude of the Galapagos Islands?"

Obi-Wan stood stupefied at his genius apprentice. Oh that evil Sith would never answer this one.

"Latitude, 0.450º S. Longitude, 90.283º W."

Anakin and Obi-Wan: 0o

Anakin took a breath. "Ooooookay. Question Two: In the UK, which artist's album broke records in the year 2003? I mean… which artist's album will brake records in the year 2003?"

Maul sighed. "Dido's Life for Rent."

Anakin and Obi-Wan: O.O

Obi-Wan looked to his apprentice with worried eyes. Anakin licked his lips and thought of the most difficult question he could.

"What…."

The two others were on baited breath.

"Is…."

(Holding breath)

"Your….."

(Still holding breath)

"Favorite…."

(Turning purple here, Arden)

"COLOR?"

DUN DUN DUN!

Kenobi went up and biffed his pupil over the head. "His favorite color? Anakin, you fool!" But he was interrupted by the Sith's voice.

"Uhh… Black…no, white… no, black… no…"

Anakin gave his Master a shrug and sliced the Sith in half… again.

"Oh, Anakin!" Obi-Wan cried happily, hugging his apprentice and jumping up and down.

THAT SAME 9-YEAR-OLD'S HOUSE

"Hee hee! Obi-Wan is GAY! Hee hee!"

THE HOUSE

"Master, you said there would be a way to make what I did up to you. Are you satisfied with me saving for skin for the eleventh time?"

"Tenth time. That cryptic business we discuss in the third movie that no one in the audience knows about doesn't, doesn't count. And no, Anakin. You must learn the evil of what you have done. So, in order to gain my trust once more, here is what you must do."

And so Obi-Wan whispered into Anakin's ear…