Chapter Nine: How Anakin REALLY turned to the dark side
((I don't own Team America by the way…okay, now that you're scared, read on))
His eyes bulged and he turned to his Master with a sick look on his paling face.
"You can't be serious, Master!"
"Anakin, stop giving the slash fans a reason to get suspicious here and do it!" Obi-Wan crossed his arms over his chest. "Or you could just be denied my friendship eternally and not perform your task if that's what you'd rather---"
"Alright, alright," the pouting Jedi interrupted. "Do I have to do it, now?"
"Yes, immediately."
"Have you ever seen Team America, Master?"
"Anakin shut up."
So Anakin went sadly up the stairs, clicking his light-saber back into place and stomping into his Master's room. It didn't take him long to find the garments he was looking for and then proceeded to enter the lavatory.
Obi-Wan waited patiently down stairs, smiling at how incredibly genius he was (don't worry, we'll cover that in a minute). What a brilliant test of loyalty.
Five minutes had gone by and Anakin had not returned yet. Kenobi was growing impatient.
"Anakin!" He called up the stairs. He placed his hands on his hips; now what could make him take this long? "Anakin, are you alright?"
Finally came the muffled response. "I am, Master, but a tad uncomfortable."
"Oh well that's bloody good enough, get down here to where the cameras can see you."
So there he came, step by step bitching and moaning---gasp----I mean, uh… whining and moaning all the way until finally the at-home audience got two eyes full of—
SOME NUNNERY
"WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THING'S SACRED IN ANAKIN WEARING A THONG?"
BACK AT BRUTE FORCEHe stood there blushing and probably turning as red as Michael Jackson had been only moments before. He corssed his arms down in front of his hips to try and cover the wee, WEE, banana hammock, but it was to no avail. He looked at his Master, smiling like that with vengeful relish and thought: "Maybe he wouldn't be so happy if I sliced him in half now, would he? Or blew up his primary moon. Or took control of the galaxy via creepy old friend politician (need to get one of those) and starred in six cult-classic movies with him…yeah, wouldn't be so cocky then."
But then Palpatine's voice rang softly in his head. "Hey, they like shower-shots, why not this? In fact it's better! Strut your stuff for the ladies, Anakin!"
Yeah! Yeah, he was right! Anakin placed on hand on his hip, one slapping down on his Master's shoulder and stood proudly planted on the living room floor.
((Okay, for those of you who picture stuff while you're reading it, take a moment now… take a long, special moment…))
Anakin whispered so the cameras couldn't hear. "I don't care if it is your thong, Master. It makes me sexy for the girls at home."
"Oh it's not my thong, my Padawan," Obi-Wan whispered back.
"But then who—"
At that moment the door to the house burst open and there was…someone.
"Ooh, forgot something here I did. Seen a rather small green thong, have you,
Jedi?"
Anakin: O.O
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
