Chapter Ten: Aren't You Glad I Finally Updated?
THE OFFICE OF SLY MOORESly Moore spat out her coffee as this last bit of the normally boring video footage got her attention. Darth Maul was dead? And Obi-Wan Kenobi was still alive? And Anakin was wearing Yoda's thong? It was getting more disturbing by the minute! In fact, Sly had difficult it was actually happening and not just some wacky fanfiction or something!
She reached for the phone on her desk and sped-dialed Chancellor Palpatine. After two rings she heard the familiar voice inquire who was calling.
"Chancellor, it's Sly," she said with hurried breath. "It's about Anakin. He—"
"Yes, Ms. Moore, I am aware that he did not complete the task of killing the other two Jedi."
"Wait…you knew about that?"
"Um…no I didn't."
Sly Moore stared strangely into the videophone as Palpatine's face came in to view.
"That is beside the point anyway, Chancellor," she said. "What I am concerned about now is the fact that you wanted Anakin to win, correct?"
"Well duh, haven't you been reading this thing?"
She continued with a blush. "But Chancellor, now that he has been forced to do this (stupid pun not intended), how will he ever win back the TV audience's respect?"
Palpatine thought for a moment. Hm…how, indeed?
BRUTE FORCE LIVING ROOMObi-Wan watched with a silent smile as Anakin came back out of the bathroom, normal attire on, and handed back the panties to their rightful owner. Yoda thanked the two Jedi and went back out the door, leaving Anakin and Obi-Wan in the thickest silence either could have imagined.
"Master?" Anakin asked finally.
"Yes, my Padawan?"
"What were Yoda's undergarments doing in your suitcase in the first place?"
(INSERT EXPLANATION)
"Ah, I see Master. That makes complete sense."
"Doesn't it though, my Padawan?"
"Say," Skywalker put in, the two men sitting down on the couch. "Remember in chapter one—erm—a few weeks ago, Sly Moore said that the show would go on until there were two guests left?"
BRUTE FORCESurvival of the Most Popular!
When Five Jedi are locked in a house together for TWO MONTHS,
TENSION will rise, voices will be RAISED, and one by one the Jedi will be voted OUT of the house until only TWO are left!
CAMERAS in every room!
Your chance to SHINE!
Show the GALAXY your GOOD side! New friends, new opportunities, new REALITY SHOW!
The Force, is IT in you?
"Oh whatever, who cares who said it?" Anakin muttered, tossing the piece of paper that had randomly popped out of the television for added plot material.
"No, I follow you, Anakin. Hm, I wonder what shall happen now?" Pondered the older Jedi. "Perhaps we both win!"
Yet before Anakin had time to mutter surreptitiously under his breath, the television/plot-device-producer turned on and there was Sly Moore's face. The Jedi awaited in silence as she spoke.
"Congratulations, Master Jedi and Padawan."
Anakin rolled his eyes and whispered, "Can't the author just decide whether I'm a Jedi or Padawan? Jeez, it's not like they're the same thing…"
Moore continued. "You have both successfully evaded being voted out by either the TV audience or your fellow guests. You have also avoided being sliced in half or breaking the rules. Good on you!"
Obi-Wan and Anakin nodded their heads appreciatively.
"I bet you are now both wondering what is to happen next."
"Yes, actually," Obi-Wan said with a smile. "You read our minds."
"No I didn't! You can't prove a thing!" Cried the telepath.
Anakin and Obi-Wan: 0.o "Okay…"
It was then the younger man noticed a slight humming sound coming from all around them. "Master—"
"Yes, I hear it too, Anakin," Kenobi said quietly. "Ms. Moore, what is that sound?"
She smiled with a dark look in her eyes. "What happens next."
With that, Anakin and Obi-Wan's stomachs leapt into their throats as the floor split in two and the Jedi were left to plummet into the newly revealed black tunnel.
