Giving up or Moving on?
Ch. 19B His final words
Over the next week or so Inuyasha stayed around the house most of the time. He went to the cemetery once of twice and continued his reading to Kagome but no matter how much he tried to he couldn't find it in himself to just move on.
He returned to school a few days later and told everyone who cared what happened. By the end of the day he was bursting with sorrow and just wanted to get home fast so that he could break down and get rid of some of the built up frustration that came with not being able to cry all out in the middle of class.
He didn't really pay attention in class any more. It didn't really matter, he wasn't going to be around long enough to actually use anything he learned, he knew this and was perfectly fine with it. Sango and Miroku did their best to cheer him up but they didn't seem to be in as much sorrow as Inuyasha was. They couldn't be anyway, they never could be. Inuyasha lost the person he loved more then anything else in the world. Sango and Miroku still had someone who they loved deeply and could hold all night if there was something bothering him. All Inuyasha had was an empty bed, an empty bed with no promise left in it.
Thursday night when Inuyasha went home he had made up his mind. Tonight was going to be the night that he would be able to see him Kagome again, no matter what he had to do tonight was going to be it. About 8 that night he went into the kitchen with his book bag and sat down at the table to do his homework. That's what Sesshomaru thought was going on anyway.
Sesshomaru came into the room a couple times while Inuyasha was working but went to bed at about 9:30. Inuyasha put his books back into his bad and went over to the drawer with the knives in it. He pulled out one of the largest ones in the drawer and placed it in his bag with his books. Slowly he went up to his room and sat down on the bed.
Everything was planned out and he knew what to do now. He pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote quickly to Sesshomaru, Sango, and Miroku that he was so sorry it came to this but he couldn't stand it any more. He took all the books out of his bag except the one he had been reading to Kagome. He placed a flashlight into the bag along with the book and the knife that he still had hidden.
As quietly as he could he went down stairs and out the front door. Within minutes he was at the cemetery walking the familiar path to where Kagome's body laid. He sat down next to the headstone, pulled out the book and flashlight, and started reading. Within the hour he was on the last part of the book.
"They left the graveyard then, and returned to the royal house, where they had to speak sternly to the children before they'd finally go to bed. Then they, too, lay down on mattresses stuffed with straw, hearing the music of the flies to buzz them to sleep, holding each others hands as they dozed, thinking of the miracles by which love works will in the world."
"Its all done Kagome. You were able to hear your favorite book one last time. Isn't it odd, what love can do to people in the world? It can give them strength but at the same time make them so weak and fragile that nothing could even be good in life any more. Well Kagome I am sorry… I know you wouldn't want it, but I can't stand it any more. I have to see you again, and I will see you soon I promise."
Inuyasha pulled the knife out of his bag and sat there for a second before running it down his left wrist. The blood instantly flowed down his arm and stained the ground near where he was sitting a deep red. The pain that flowed through his body was something that he welcomed more then anything. He could feel the pain in his arm now, and he could ignore the pain that was still in his heart.
The wind started blowing wildly, as if trying to get Inuyasha to stop and he knew it. "Kagome… I am sorry I really am… I cant… I can't go on without you here… I just can't do it," he told the wind as if it were Kagome talking to him.
He switched hands with the knife and sliced his right wrist open, again welcoming the pain that flowed through his body. All the while the wind blew harder. He sat and let the blood flow down his wrists and puddle on the ground for moments before being sucked into the dirt itself. His eyes filled with tears as he started slicking his wrists, over and over again, welcoming the pain it brought.
Because he was a Hanyou he knew that he would not be able to kill himself by simply slicing his wrists, he just wanted to be able to forget the pain in his heart before he finally ended it all.
As the sun started to peak over the horizon Inuyasha decided that he was finally ready for it all to end. Before he got to finish he smelled something really familiar, it was Sesshomaru, and the scent was getting stronger by the second. He knew he was going to have to finish this fast so that he wasn't stopped before he could end everything. He took the knife in his right hand and pointed it at his heart, this was the only was he would be able to kill himself with a knife, anything else would be to slow a death and not kill him before he healed.
He saw Sesshomaru come over the top of the hill and pressed and knife inside of himself as hard and deep as he could. He doubled over in pain and faintly heard Sesshomaru yelling at him to let go of the knife so that his body could heal himself. Inuyasha shook his head and looked up at his brother with tears running down his face. "Please Sesshomaru… Just leave it… I need it to end… I need to be with her… I really do…" Inuyasha said between his gasps for breath.
Sesshomaru stood still, not knowing what to do now. Slowly he nodded and let his brother do, as he wanted. Trying to stop him was only going to cause Inuyasha more pain then was needed. This was Inuyasha could end his pain. Sesshomaru nodded again and said, "Take care brother," as Inuyasha took his last breath and slumped over dead.
Sesshomaru sat and looked at what happened, how could he let this go so far? For the first time in the longest time Sesshomaru let a tear run down his face, and as he did the sky let loose and started to rain, crying in its own way.
Ok well…. I promised a happy ending and don't worry you will get it you just have to wait till the next chapter to get it. The paragraph that I used as the book thing was the last paragraph in my favorite book Enchantment, by Orson Scott Card. So you all have to go and find that book and read it cuz it is my fave and I said so lol.
Please review, if you review I will work faster and be able to get the last chapter done sooner so that you can know what happens and how the hell I make this into a happy ending hee hee.
