A/N: Okay, a quick lesson in British slang. Nowt, pronounced note, means nothing. Owt, pronounced oat, means anything.

Key To My Heart – Chapter Eighteen – Starting an army

Raven POV

I was at the mansion relaxin' with a nice cup a tea when Yoshi came wanderin' in. "Ay up mate." I spotted someone be'ind 'im. "Who's this?"

"His name is Charlie. He will be working for us."

"Hi," Charlie said.

I nodded at 'im. "'Ello." I drank me tea and watched some Simpsons. Not really owt to do. Ah fuck it, may as well start takin' over…later. I wandered over t' Jasmine's room. "Fancy a shag duck?"

"Not right now. I'm going out."

"Ay? No you bloody well are not!"

"What? Why?"

"The Slayer!"

"She might not even exist. In case you haven't noticed, there are a lot of demons here."

"Yeah, but she might."

"I'll be careful."

"Said th' other couple a 'undred she's dusted."

She rolled 'er eyes at me. "Fine, I'll take some people with me. Happy?"

"Fine. Wotever. Just…just stay outta dark alleys."

She raised her eyebrows at me. "Raven, do you have any idea how ludicrous it sounds telling a vampire to stay out of dark alleys?"

"I don't care."

She went. I growled. Okay, I'm feelin' grumpy. Complain about it an' I'll kill ya.

Okay, I've decided I'd better get t' work. Glazzior wants control over the Hellmouth if this Slayer birds real. Might as well get to it. Course, not sure 'ow exactly yer supposed to get all a the vamps 'ere workin' for y'. Bloody 'ell, could fill a book with wot I DON'T know about bein' a vampire. Wandered through a graveyard. Always a good place to find vampires. Okay, godda think. I find a nest, wot do I do? Ah bollocks, I'll just wing it.

God I'm bored. Nowt t' do in this bloody town. Started singin' bits of Queen's Killer Queen. "To avoid complications, she never kept the same address. In conversation, she spoke just like a baroness. Drop of a hat, she's playful as a pussy cat. Then momentarily out of action, temporarily out of gas to absolutely drive you wild, wild. She's all out to get you. She's a killer queen, gunpowder…" I stopped singin'. Three vampires 'bout a hundred yards away. I followed 'em to this big crypt. Can 'ear others inside. Okay. Scare the shit outta them, make 'em do wot I say. Right.

I licked me fangs. Feel a bit nervous. Never done this before. Might get dusted. Already died once, don't fancy it 'appenin' again. Okay. Go in, break a few bones, smash some skulls. Should do th' trick. Okay then, got me a plan. Pretty shitty plan, but oh well. 'Ere we go then.

I walked up t' the crypt. Stopped outside the door. Counted to ten. I brought me foot up an' kicked out. BANG! The door flew into the crypt. Vampires looked up. I walked in. "'Ello lads," I said. They growled an' got up. One ran up t' me an threw a punch. I ducked out the way, grabbed 'is arm an twisted so that 'is elbow was facin' the wrong way. Brought me leg over it, then down. Snap! Broke 'is arm. He screamed an' another one jumped me. I grabbed 'im an threw 'im t' th' ground. One good kick, an' his jaw was broken. The others backed off. "Okay," I said. "'Eres how it go's. Name's Raven, I'm a childe of a bloke named Galzzior the Implaer. You lot 'eard of 'im?" They nodded. "Cool. Glazzior's comin' t' town. Deals this. You don't wanna join, leave town. Stay an' join, an' you'll be under 'is protection, s' long as you do wot 'e says. Stay but don't join, you're dust. Standard stuff, you lot should already know the drill. You've got 'till tomorrow night t' decide."

I walked out, feelin' pleased wi' meself. Not bad for a first try, I think. Could 'ave gone worse. I went lookin' for someone to eat, then went to fine Jasmine.

A/N: I know this was bad, sorry. I just couldn't get any ideas, and I just wrote this in 15 minutes. And it doesn't help that I've got the mother of all migraines. I'll try and make the next chapter good. Promise. I just felt guilty. People like this story, and it always pisses me off when the author takes ages to post.