Somebody's Lost It
Monday
Something has happened in Elvendom. Everyone has lost his mind! Everyone except poor Glorfindel... It is set one week before Frodo arrives in Rivendell. Half a League Parodies presents: SOMEBODY'S LOST IT
Disclaimer: I do not own the Lord of the Rings. I really truly don't. I hope you all can recover from the shock.
Authors note: Ridiculous? Yes. Funny? I hope so. Strange and bizarre? Most likely. I hope you all enjoy it!
The sun rose on that beautiful October day, the eleventh to be precise, and Glorfindel was ready for it. He stretched and went onto his balcony, which commanded a beautiful view of Rivendell. After drinking in the cool, crisp, clean autumn air, he turned back to his room and got ready for the day.
As he was walking to breakfast in his auburn colored robe, he saw an elf walking towards him.
"Good morning Elladan!" He greeted.
"Hi there Lord!" he greeted back with a wave. The son of Elrond then proceeded to skip down the hall.
Glorfindel's eyes widened slightly at the strange sight, and decided he had hit the wine cellar a little to early. He shrugged and continued on his way.
He was the only one at breakfast, which was laid out for him, and found a note at Elrond's customary place at the table. He picked it up and read: Dear Glorfy, I ate an hour ago and won't be joining you for breakfast. I'm going to be wandering around Imladris today, taking a break I guess you could say, and I was hoping you would too. If you do, we can play a lovely game of leap frog with Legolas and my sons. Arwen might join us too! Later! -Elrond
The letter was in Elrond's handwriting, but it was not his way of speaking. "Why on earth did he call me Glorfy?" The elf lord asked himself. "No one has called me that since I was ten years old. I hate that name and he knows it. He would never dare call me that, especially if he wanted my company." Glorfindel then began to ponder the suggestion of a game of leap frog. That disturbed him slightly. Elrond never played leap frog. Well, he did once when all three of his children were young, but that was only once! Maybe the whole family had hit the wine cellar to early, or too hard last night? He shrugged, finished his breakfast, and headed out towards the garden.
As he was walking under a tree, an object suddenly appeared from it. It was Legolas, hanging upside down from his knees, blonde hair dangling loosely from his head.
"Greetings Lord Glorfindel! Is this not a beautiful morning?"
Glorfindel eyed him warily. Wasn't he far too old to be hanging upside down in trees for sport?
"Yes, it is," replied Glorfindel slowly.
"Elrond is looking for you over there," Legolas said pointing to Glorfindel's left. "I am to go there with you. He said something about leap frog. Doesn't that sound like fun!" Legolas asked. A very human, child like enthusiasm could be heard in his voice. This disturbed Glorfindel...
The elf lord could only nod. Legolas flipped out of the tree and escorted Glorfindel to Elrond, his blonde hair messy and waving loose in the breeze. They reached Elrond and Glorfindel almost fell over when he saw him.
Elrond was donning a pair of leggings, dyed bright red, and a short, sleeveless tunic of orange. It seemed to Glorfindel the sleeves had been cut off. Elrond's hair was something unusual as well, it was in a long braid. Elrond never wore one long braid. Not even in battle. Glorfindel's wide eyes did not go unnoticed by the strangely dressed Lord Elrond.
"Hey Glorfy! Wazzup?" he asked, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Glorfindel had an urge to punch him square on the jaw, but restrained himself.
"He must be under a spell," he thought. "Uh, I do not understand Elrond, why are you dressed so?"
Elrond looked at him with confusion and asked, "What else do you wear to play leap frog? Look, Legolas knows how to dress!" he said pointing at the elf prince.
Glorfindel hadn't noticed it until now, but Legolas was wearing a similar outfit, only all green.
"And so do my sons and my daughter!" Elrond proudly said as the three came walking up. Elladan and Elrohir were wearing bright colored outfits, similar to their fathers'. Arwen was wearing leggings and long tunic, but it did not have sleeves either. Hers was a lovely rose pink.
Glorfindel blushed and turned his eyes when he saw Arwen dressed so. She pointed and laughed at him like a rude three year old as her father said, "Let's play!"
"I think I'll pass!" Glorfindel said. No, this was not a result of drunkenness, they all must be under a spell. A spell from Sauron, to make them insane. Glorfindel had fought a balrog, but did not feel as much fear then as he did at this moment, watching five elves of nobility playing leap frog in strange outfits of bright colors was a little more than he wanted to deal with that morning. He excused himself, and all five simultaneously waved and said "Bye Glorfy!"
As Glorfindel wandered around, praying to Elbereth that this was not some strange epidemic, he saw an elf ride by standing on a horse and waving a torch like a baton. His eyes grew wide as he then ran towards his room with all haste. As he ran, he was the victim to two hit and run accidents; he was hit by two elves that ran after they knocked him down.
Once safely in his room, with locked door. He went out onto his porch and looked about, observing the scene about him. He watched as elves dressed in strange attire ran, walked, rode about in strange garments and screaming and laughing like mad men.
The morning wore away and the afternoon came, Glorfindel didn't dare go to noon meal. As he looked out, he saw Elrond riding a piece of wood with four wheels attached to it. He was sliding down a banister and yelling "AWESOME!"
Glorfindel began to wonder if it wasn't all just some bad dream. In desperate hope it was, he retired early that night, bow and arrows close at hand.
Authors note: Well, this is the first chapter. The insanity can only get worse from here!
