Replies:

Tracey – we haven't seen the last of Danwen, if I ever finish another story I'm working on with her in it.

shie1dmaidenofrohan, Lady Anck-su-namun – Eomer's being a virgin caused quite a bit of attention in the original story, so I thought it a good idea for him to explain why he chose that. Glad it worked for you. And to think, this whole idea sprang from the notion of giving Eomer and Lothiriel secrets that the other one finds out about (that was Eomer's).

utsuri – why's it such a big deal? Partly because, according to most other fan authors, the men of this time sleep around quite a bit but insist on marrying virgins. Since I chose for that not to be the case with Eomer, I wanted to give his viewpoint as to why he might not be doing what was considered "common practice". Men do tend to have a bit of a hangup about sex – size, performance, etc. and I think Eomer's concern about anyone knowing he hasn't been with a woman and his fear that Thiri will consider him strange for it are something many men can relate to.

Lady Anck-su-namun – I'm glad it helped a bad day for you. Hope things are better the rest of the week (and beyond).

Chapter 9

One thing Lothiriel unexpectedly being in Edoras showed her was what life with me was apt to be like. We saw very little of each other during her first week here, and although it was not due to any unwillingness on my part, I could not escape the pressing needs of my kingdom that kept me in meetings virtually all day, and frequently working late into the night. It was only at meals that we seemed to see much of one another, and that only when I did not have to miss a meal or down some food on the run.

Lothiriel is nothing if not resourceful, however, and she did not want to be treated as a guest. She began seeking out ways to occupy her time, and it made me feel less guilty that she did so uncomplainingly. When she had been here for Theoden's funeral, she had gone out into Edoras and met some of the townspeople, and now she took more time to make herself acquainted with the town and our people.

Unfortunately, it was that activity that soon caused problems. I had not thought much about where she went or what she did, though she was certainly not trying to hide anything from me. Yet, often, when we talked, we focused on other matters, so I really did not know who she spent time with or where she spent it.

It turned out that Danwen was more than happy to divulge that information to me. She turned up at the Golden Hall one day, and since I still had not confided to Gamling about her, she was able to get an audience with me. She mockingly told me about how much time Lothiriel seemed to be spending with one of my young soldiers named Kialmar. According to her, they spent much time together each day and seemed to thoroughly enjoy each other's company. I got rid of her in short order, refusing to listen to her accusations.

Under the circumstances, I was not inclined to put much stock in her words, but it seemed every time I inquired after Lothiriel, where she was, the answer kept coming back to me, from many different sources, that she had been seen in town...with Kialmar.

As this continued for over a week, I found myself becoming more and more taciturn and disagreeable. In part, I could only blame myself for neglecting her, that she would seek the company of another man, a younger one that had far more time to shower attention upon her. But I ached at the thought that I might lose her to someone else. She had seemed the answer to all my dreams and wishes and needs, and it was physically painful to think of letting her go.

Possibly the fact that I was exhausted, and worried about all the problems Rohan faced, added to my fear and resentment about the matter, and soon I had become moody and withdrawn. How could I even be sure this was a new interest? Perhaps she and Kialmar had met when she was here before, and they were merely picking up where they had left off then. Perhaps she wanted the best of both worlds; marriage to a king, with an attentive young lover on the side. I tormented myself with such possibilities, even though part of me screamed that she was not like that. But did I truly know that? I had known her slightly more than two months, and spent little of that time in her company. For all I knew, she had left a string of broken hearts in Dol Amroth, men she toyed with and then cast aside.

Common sense told me I should talk to her about the problem, but I feared what she would tell me, and so I retreated within myself, and made everyone around me as miserable as I felt. I thought I knew her, I wanted desperately to believe that I did, but nothing in my life had ever been simple. I could not shake the feeling that this was just another disappointment that I was destined to suffer. Everyone I had ever loved was dead, or would soon be gone from me. Why should Lothiriel be any different? As if being exhausted from overwork wasn't enough, my tortured thoughts now kept me from sleeping as well.

I began avoiding Lothiriel, and even decided to eat alone in my study rather than join her at the supper table. Amrothos and Eowyn could not help but know that something was amiss, yet feared to interfere. But Lothiriel does have a temper when she is provoked, and my willful absence from the supper table pushed her past her limit.

She came storming into my study unannounced, and stood in front of my desk with arms folded across her chest and glaring at me.

Naturally, I went on the defensive and glared sulkily in return at her intrusion as she demanded, "If you wish me to go back to Dol Amroth, just say so, Eomer! Do not play hide and seek with me!"

Belligerently, I snapped back, "I am not playing hide and seek! You have made it clear you have found more pleasant company than mine! I do not think Kialmar would like it very much if you were to leave!" I hid my pain and fear behind anger; it had always served me well to do so in battle.

The angry retort she seemed about to give stalled and she blinked in surprise. "What?"

"You heard me! Did you think I would not learn of your new 'interest'?"

Realization seemed to come over her as to the source of my anger and she sat down heavily in a chair. I watched her warily, wondering what she would do and why she said nothing.

Finally, she lifted her eyes to meet mine. "You think I prefer his company to yours?"

My jaw tightened. "From what I hear, you spend almost every waking moment with him. When I became unavailable, you seem to have quickly found a substitute! Though I suppose I should not be surprised you would prefer a younger man with plenty of time to pay full attention to you."

Tears sprang to her eyes, my accusation hurting her. I think I had wanted to hurt her, as I was hurting, but at the sight of her sitting before me crying, my anger faltered. This was not so satisfying a confrontation as I had expected. And never before had my 'enemy' dissolved into tears.

Finally, in little more than a whisper, she choked out, "Forgive me, my love. I did not intend to wound you so. When you were so busy with matters of the kingdom, I sought ways to amuse myself instead of addressing the problem of having so little time with you."

She stopped, wiping at her eyes, then managed to continue. "If someone has told you I have behaved improperly, you are misinformed. Kialmar and I are friends, but nothing more, and we have never been alone together, let alone done anything intimate. I would never wish to replace you with another."

My stony face crumbled at her words, as something inside me unraveled. I had no doubt that she was telling me the truth. How could I have let myself become so jealous and mistrustful? She had never given me reason to doubt her before. Why had I so readily believed she wanted someone else, or that she would fail to tell me if her feelings for me had changed? I was utterly dejected that I had caused her so much pain through my pride and foolhardiness.

She slowly rose and came to stand behind me. Slipping her arms around my neck, she rested her cheek on my head. "Oh, my love, I am so very sorry."

I caught her arm and pulled her around to sit on my lap, then wrapped my arms around her and buried my face in her neck, content just to hold her. How could I have treated her so cruelly? Finally, I whispered, "I could not bear thinking I had lost you to someone else."

Her hand slipped to my chin and she raised my face to gaze into her eyes. "Never!" And then she slowly added emphasis with a kiss. A kiss that told me I was forgiven, that she was just as sorry as I was that we had let this matter get so out of hand. I determined then that I would never do such a thing again.

It was quite some time before our attention returned to our supper, and I accompanied her back to the Golden Hall to finish our meals there. Neither Eowyn nor Amrothos said anything, but they could hardly miss the blissful expressions we wore. I think both sighed with relief to know that the trouble was resolved.

xxxxx

From that point, Lothiriel determined to make some changes. If I must be in council meetings, then she would be there with me. I had no objection to the idea, though I am not sure my advisers were as pleased with the arrangement. At the very first meeting she attended, she made her presence felt.

Just as we were beginning to close, she cleared her throat and said, "My lord, may I speak?"

I glanced curiously at her, wondering at her purpose, but nodded. "You may, Lady Lothiriel."

She told us of the orphanage and the straitened conditions they suffered. "I would think, my lords, that assistance could be provided for them. These children have suffered the loss of their parents – indeed many had fathers die protecting Rohan. They should not also have to suffer lack of the bare necessities of life as well."

I was astonished. How had I, an orphan myself, failed to know of this? My only excuse was that so many other matters had pressed more insistently on me that I simply had not taken time to see if there were any problems that had been pushed into the background.

My advisers, upon her finishing, immediately began to offer numerous reasons why this was not a simple matter to deal with, claiming we did not have the resources to assist the orphans. But I silenced them as I stood. "I will send two servants from Meduseld to help them with the care of the children, and two soldiers will be assigned on a rotating basis to go and do any work that needs doing there." It would be a travesty to let this continue and I knew my advisers would follow my lead – they had little choice.

With the king showing such obvious support, gradually they began to come up with small ways to assist, and Lothiriel was pleased that conditions would soon improve for the children, and the burden would be eased for Hamal and Breewyn. I was pleased to discover the quality of the woman who would soon stand at my side as queen. She would not let me overlook these details, or let my advisers sweep them under the rug as not important enough to bring to my notice. Lothiriel would make sure that the king knew of such things, and that they got the attention they deserved. My advisers might not like it, but I was grateful to be blessed with her love.

xxxxx

As the time of our departure for Minas Tirith drew nearer, Eowyn grew more nervous. When Lothiriel had arrived at the end of September, Eowyn had already abandoned her wedding plans for me and was once more focused on her own, and trying to make sure she didn't forget anything she needed to do before we began the journey southward.

One of the most amusing aspects of her preparations was when she decided she must learn how to cook for Faramir. To that end, she began daily instruction under the cook, and the rest of us got to sample her wares at the next meal. Fortunately for us, the cook made sure there was plenty else to eat, but Eowyn did gradually improve and before we departed, she proudly made an entire dinner for the four of us. Eowyn knew they would have servants to do such tasks when she became Faramir's wife, but it was important to her to be able to cook something for him on occasion as a way to show her love for him. Knowing Faramir, even as little as I did, I rather suspected she could have served him a bucket of oats, and he would eat it with relish just because Eowyn had given it to him, but I didn't tell her that.

And at long last, the day of our exodus arrived. The morning was spent with everyone scurrying around, making sure everything was packed and loaded on wagons. Lothiriel went to make one final visit to the orphans' home to say her farewells, and tell them she would see them in the spring. The next thing I knew, she was pulling me aside to make a request; she wished to take Lissa with us so the girl would not have to be away from her brother for so long. I hesitated a moment before replying, but then spotted Eowyn directing the loading of trunks, and my face softened. "If Kialmar agrees to this, then go and get her. I did not like being separated from my sister when I was a child."

She gave me a brief hug and then dashed off to find Kialmar among the escort party assembling outside. Apparently he agreed to her plan when he was assured it had the king's approval.

As he had duties to attend to, Lothiriel returned to the orphanage to explain the situation. She soon had a small bag packed for Lissa and the girl was happily accompanying Lothiriel up the hill.

As we prepared to mount up, I slipped up behind her and whispered, "One thing is certain – life with you will never be dull!"