Somebody's Lost It
Wednesday
Disclaimer: Don't own LOTR.
Glorfindel woke up Wednesday morning to a plinking sound on his window. He groggily got up and looked out his window to see a great eagle and an elf lord standing on his porch. He opened the door and went out.
"Greetings Lord Glorfindel! I am here with Lord Celeborn!" the eagle said. "Please pardon me, I must be off now," he added just before he flew away.
"Celeborn! I am so glad you're hear!" Glorfindel emphatically said as he shook Celeborn's hand.
"It sounds like things are crazy around here. YA!" Celeborn cried. "We've been having a blast in Lothlorien, and it's good to know ole Elro his having fun here too! We're gonna Part-ay in Rivendell tonight!"
Glorfindel stared on in horror as Celeborn began doing the bump and grind in his lordly elvish robes. It was frightening! Composing himself he asked, "Is everyone in elvendom acting this way?"
"Ya Glorfy! From the Grey Havens to Mirkwood, the elves are having a huge party!"
Glorfindel groaned, "Oh great!"
"What Glorfy? Aren't you in the mood to have fun?" Celeborn asked.
Glorfindel growled at the name Glorfy, which he was quite sick of, and asked, "No, I am willing to have fun. But I am not willing to act like a drunken human, as everyone here is. I've been tackled nearly a dozen times since Monday!"
"You're getting tackled? Are you guys having mud wrestling contests? Because we are in Lothlorien, and there's a rumor they are in Mirkwood as well," Celeborn informed. "Well, I'm off to find Elrond. May the mud wrestling contests begin!" He cheered as he left the room.
Glorfindel groaned and buried his face in his hands. This was horrible! He was all alone in his sanity in all of elvendom! "Well, if I can't beat them, maybe I should join them," he thought. "Or, I could go on a holiday for a while, visit some humans, or a few nice hobbits. Maybe I'll just stay around here and endure it all."
He couldn't decide. There was nothing he could do, he had better stay. He put on the oldest, grungiest outfit he could find and headed out the door, only to be tackled by Elladan who was lying in wait for him.
"STUPID ELFLING!" Glorfindel cried and as he got up and chased Elladan down the halls. He wasn't going to get away this time. Glorfindel chased him through many halls and corridors and finally caught him just outside a garden. He lunged, and brought him down in the middle of Legolas and Elrohir mud wrestling. Glorfindel had Elladan under him, and Legolas and Elrohir on top of him. "Get off of me you elves!" he yelled as best as he could through the mud. They laughingly got off of him and helped him up.
"Sorry old man! We know your old bones can't handle it anymore!" Legolas teased.
Glorfindel glared at him and for a moment Legoas forgot his mirth, then he began laughing again.
"You are being a fuddy duddy Glorfy!" Elrond agreed.
"What's a fuddy duddy, and DON'T call me Glorfy!"
"Whatever Glorfy! And a fuddy duddy is what you are! Boring, a stick in the mud, a square, a loser, boring, party pooper! Why don't you have some fun Glorfy! Loosen up!" Celeborn added.
Glorfindel was beginning to get quite angry about the Glorfy thing. He growled and headed back to his room to clean off. He was passing by a stream, deep but narrow, and decided he'd rather wash off in there than get his room all muddy, so he jumped in. The cold water caused his skin to instantly be covered in goose pimples, but that was the extent of his discomfort. He managed to get a good deal of mud off before he continued his way to his room.
He changed into his second worst outfit and looked out at the chaos below. Elrond was on his skateboard, at least, that is what Glorfindel heard him call it. Well, that and LaFawnda. He watched Elrond slide down every handrail in Rivendell and wondered how much damage it was doing to them. Now Legolas and Arwen were joining him. Terrific.
Glorfindel began to dread every moment he had to leave his room, because he would always get tackled. He was also getting rather hungry, so he decided to play elvish spy. He put on his darkest hunting outfit he had, his blonde hair in one long braid, and grabbed a small sack he had meant to get rid of for the last one hundred years.
He silently crept to his door and pressed his ear to it. He heard nothing. He carefully opened the door and peered out, the hall was empty. He crept out making no more noise than a shadow and began making his way to the kitchen. Every time he heard a noise he pressed himself against the wall or next to a pillar.
He reached the kitchen without incident, grabbed some cheese, a bottle of wine, a few apples, a loaf of bread, and some cold turkey. He stuffed these things in his sack and carefully made his way back to his room. Once his door was shut behind him he leaned against it and sighed, "Success!"
The cheese and bread would last him til Friday, if he was careful, the bottle of wine, maybe til nightfall, the apples would last him til Monday, and the turkey would be gone by supper that night.
He looked at his plunder and said to himself, "Well, not bad for the first kitchen raid in fifty years." He picked up an apple and bit in.
His room, well, suite, had enough books to keep him occupied for a year. If he ran out of books, he could always sharpen his sword, his knives, his arrow heads, now he was getting desperate. His plan was to stay in his room until the insanity passed. If it took to long, he'd sail west, in a row boat if he had too!
His plan worked, at least, for the rest of the day.
Authors note: Hehehehehe! I'm so wickedly mean to Glorfy! I mean, Glorfindel. ACK! Glorfindel! Put your sword down! Get a grip! grumbles stupid elf lord doesn't have a sense of humor...
"I heard that!"
