Chapter 1: Interrupted Drunken Nights

It always baffles me that some got through the war unscathed while my life ended up to be ruined. Everything bad that happened to me was because of Voldemort. Every ailment in my life can be traced back to him. My parents died because he killed them. Sirius died because he sent his death eaters to the Ministry. Ron died because he started this stupid freaking war. If Voldemort had never existed, life would have been great and peaceful, at least for me. If it weren't for Voldemort, then I wouldn't be getting drunk every night. I wouldn't be sitting here wasted in the Leaky Cauldron waiting for Tom to kick me out.

It's a good thing I wasn't so pissed that I didn't remember what I was and wasn't supposed to say when I saw her. How long had it been since I had seen her last? I can't remember. I remember the last time we talked though. I was so in love with her, but I lied. I would like to say I don't remember why, but that's a lie too. I told her that it was too weird to date your best friend's sister, but that wasn't what it was. It wouldn't have mattered. I knew Ron would have had no problem had we gone out. He encouraged it. But he didn't know that, once again, it all traced back to Voldemort. I was his archenemy. Everyone I openly loved was destined to die. They were automatically targeted. If I had told Ginny my real reasons, she wouldn't have liked it. She would have fought it. She wouldn't have cared. She is too strong willed to let some evil dark wizard ruin her life. She would have been noble, and she would have died for it. I couldn't let her do it, so I lied. I lied and I lost her. I guess it was better to lose her in life than in death. I'm thinking of breaking the habit of lying for the greater good though. It's not like it ever did me, or anyone I loved for that matter, any good.

Of all the people to lose her to, guess who it was. You won't believe it. I didn't. It was the utmost sin in my eyes. Seamus. He was the one who accused me of being a liar; he was the one who thought that I was making it up. He was deceitful. He talked about me behind my back. At least Malfoy could tell me he thought I was full of rubbish to my face. Of course, Ginny never knew this. She didn't know that Seamus was a pansy who couldn't tie his shoe. She shouldn't have moved on. But she didn't know any better. I never told her. I haven't got anyone to blame but me, andI guess then there's Voldemort again. Everything can be traced back to him. Everything.

Her life was ruined too though. You would think that if you didn't support Harry Potter, you weren't a threat, but no. Voldemort didn't care. If you weren't with him, you were against him. He showed no remorse in killing Seamus either.

"So this is what the famous Harry Potter does in his spare time, get drunk off his ass?" I was so shocked I almost fell out of my chair.

Wow, not exactly the warm words of welcome I was expecting. I just stared at her a bit before I started to stand up and say, "I'm not that drunk." But it didn't work. I stumbled and if it weren't for her, I would have hit the floor. Who could have known she was strong enough to support my body weight?

"I think you've had enough."

I wasn't going to argue with her. I had had enough. But I wasn't going to tell her that either.

"Did Hedwig die?"

"Uh, no. What makes you think she would have died?"

"Well, you never wrote me. I wrote you so many letters and you never replied. I figured Hedwig dying would have been an adequate excuse."

I tried to think up a witty reply to this, but none came. Thinking was making my head hurt. Why did she have to come when I was drunk? But then again, when would be a safe time to come?

She took a vial of something out of her pocket. "Here."

"What is this," I asked.

"Sobering potion."

"But I'm not drunk," I lied

"Drink it anyway," she said as she rolled her eyes at me.

After I drank the potion, I found myself being dragged out of the Leaky Cauldron and down Diagon Alley.

"Where are we going?"

"To get ice cream. I'm hungry."

"So we eat ice cream to solve that? I don't know if you've heard lately Gin, but that's not what you're supposed to eat to solve your hunger."

"Thank you. I'll give that all the consideration it deserves."

So, I kept my mouth shut. I kept it shut until after she demanded I talk to her. Even then, I wasn't too chatty.

"So what have you been doing lately, besides getting drunk every night?"

"Who told you I got drunk every night?"

"I hear things. Besides, it's not like you can go out in public without the entire world finding out."

"Oh."

"So?"

"So what?"

"What have you been doing?"

"Oh, uh, um…working."

"Really? Where do you work?"

"In the ministry."

"What do you do?"

"Um, paperwork, sometimes."

"And the rest of the time?"

I could tell she was on her last nerve with me. I didn't feel like talking though. Why is it people always want me to talk? Isn't it enough that I saved the world? Do they need my meaningless jargon along with it?

"Um…"

"So where do you live?"

"Here, in London. Muggle London."

"I see. What do you do at night?"

"You already know that Gin. I believe the phrase you used was getting drunk off my ass every night, wasn't it?"

She gave me a glare that told me plainly that she didn't think this was funny. She opened her mouth to say something, but then she looked up and I saw some guy watching us with a suspicious eye on me, which makes sense. Who says my life should be nice? "Oh, I have to go." I knew that wasn't what she was going t say though.

You would think that if I really loved Ginny as much as I claim, I would talk to her more. But what's the point? She's just going to keep moving on, and not with me. Because, I told her not to. I told her to go to someone else. And she did. Sometimes I think I'm my own worst enemy.