A/N: Takes place pre-peacemaker. I admit I don't know much about Hijikata and Okita's backstory, I apologize if there are any discrepancies with Canon.
He was in pain. A lot of it. Dimly, he registered the blood gushing out from his wound at the side of his midriff and flowing ceaselessly onto the cold gray pavement. Rain had begun had begun to fall heavily down onto his body, spreading the pool of crimson liquid even wider still. He tried to move, but his hands grasped at nothing in front of him, the sound of the raindrops hitting the ground blocked everything else out. He was losing sense of his surroundings. Through the rapidly increasing fog in his mind, he latched on to one thought, "Gomen ne, Hijikata-san."
"Doushite!" Souji banged his fists on the table. His eyes were alight with fury; containing none of its usual childishness. He hated this loss of control on his part, but it was not of his own volition. Nothing had been, after he recovered emotion: for his mentor.
Hijikata Toshizo was sitting in the floor, a carefully blank expression on his face. It was obvious that he wasn't going to answer Souji's question. He never did. "Okita-kun," he began placatingly.
There it was again, "Okita-kun" never "Souji". Suddenly, Souji was filled with the urgency to leave the overwhelming room. Staying in there would mean having to confront his fears and weaknesses; it would mean facing the truth. He clenched his fists. The next moment, he was gone from the room.
The sound of approaching footsteps forced him back to reality. He didn't know who it was, the pain had nulled his senses to a bare minimum, there was an unmistakable clang of a katana as it fell to the ground. The next thing he knew, he felt strong arms wrap themselves around him. Almost instantly, he recognized the person; recognized the voice before it spoke. "Souji…"
That one word penetrated the fog in his mind with a split second. It was the first time Hijikata-san ever called him by that. A smile graced his lips. "Hijikata-san…Gomen. Watashi…" he meant to continue, he meant to tell Hijikata-san how sorry he was for assuming that there had been anything in that carefully concealed care for him.
"Yamete!" The force of the yell caused him to flinch. Instinctively, he felt himself recoil. Just then, he felt a hot wetness on his cheek that felt nothing like the rain. He peeled his eyes open with some effort and gasped at the sight before him. Hijikata-san was …crying.
"Nani…? Douka shimashitaka?" He reached his left hand up to caress the tears away.
Those arms clutched on even more tightly around him. "Omaewa hontou ni baka da!" Hijikata's eyes shone with an untold emotion. "I won't allow you to leave me!"
Souji smiled with the finality of comprehension. "Then that's enough."
