Part 21 - Promises
BIGGS
I found Max on the roof, curled up in Joshua's lap, fast asleep. She looked peaceful for the first time in days and I was reluctant to wake her. I laid my hand on the dog-man's shoulder and he smiled at me as I sat down next to him.
"How's she doing?" I enquired quietly.
"Max is all worn out, scared and unhappy." he told me sadly. I just nodded. When she woke up I hoped she'd tell me what was going on. Alec leaving Seattle was a blow that TC wouldn't take lightly. She was going to need her friends' support and I would back her up no matter what. It would just make things easier if I understood why.
Max stirred slightly and opened her eyes. She sat up, stretched and turned to give Joshua a hug.
"Thanks Big Fella. I really needed that." Then she noticed me. Her eyes flashed with worry and regret, a mixture I was pained to see. Max had been through so much in just a few short days and I really didn't want to be the one to tell her that Ben would most likely not pull through.
Joshua got to his feet, sensing our need to be alone. Joshua amazed me. He had an uncanny knack for understanding people and their needs. It was what everyone loved about him. His gentle ways and kind words were a pleasant contrast to the harsh realities of everyday life.
"Joshua is going to see Ben now. Don't worry, Little Fella. Ben will be ok." he said as he kissed her on the top of her head and went inside.
Max looked at me full of apprehension. "How is he, really?" she asked in a shaky voice, her eyes filling with tears.
"I'm not gonna lie to you, Max. It doesn't look good. But he's an X5, he's strong, a fighter." I could see that my words were affecting her and I felt terrible for inflicting yet more pain on my friend. But what would lying help? If Ben died...at least she was prepared, for what it was worth.
Max touched my shoulder gently. Trying to change the subject, she asked, "Earlier. You said we needed to talk. What about?"
I sat quietly for a moment as I remembered my conversation with Alec from the previous day.
Alec walked into Max's apartment, his manner subdued and his eyes unfocused. He reached for his bag and collected the few items of his that were lying around the room.
"Alec! What's up?" I asked concerned.
"Something went down between me and Max. I fucked up, Biggs. Worse than I ever have before. And this time, she'll never forgive me. Hell, I'll never forgive myself." He stopped and stared at nothing. The change in my friend was worrisome and I was confused.
"What are you talking about, man?"
"It's...nothing. But promise me something?" Alec shoved his hands deep into his pockets and turned to face me. His eyes were full of anguish and remorse. He looked haunted.
"Sure, buddy. Anything." I still wasn't sure what he was getting at, but this was Alec. Didn't he know I'd do anything he asked?
"Promise me you'll look out for Max, no matter what? And you won't let my leaving come between you two? I hurt her, bad, and she's gonna need someone..." His voice trailed off and he shut his eyes. Opening them again he stared at me. "Promise me."
"You're leaving! What the hell! Alec, tell me what's going on!"
"Just promise me, Biggs. I need to know someone's looking out for her." his face was serious.
"I said ok! Dammit, Alec! What's going on!" I was really worried and his evasive answers were making me crazy.
"I can't talk about this now. I have to go. I'll call you when I get wherever it is I'm going." he walked toward the door but he looked over his shoulder before exiting the apartment. "Thanks, man. I owe you."
I watched him in shock as he disappeared.
"Alec asked me to look out for you, Max. And the way he said it...it's like he knew he wasn't coming back. Maxie, look at me. Tell me what happened. Please? I need to understand." I reached for her hand. I meant it to be a comforting gesture but she flinched at the contact.
She stared at our hands and refused to meet my eyes. I prodded gently. "I know he somehow hurt Ben. But why did Alec say you'd never forgive him, that he'd never forgive himself? It's not like he killed him."
Max recoiled as if physically slammed by my statement. The look of horror on her face, her reaction, Alec's regret...it was all coming together. But I had to be sure.
"What happened up there, Max?"
She burst into tears, guilt and shame clear on her face. Her voice was small and wavering. "They fought. Alec kicked Ben and he...he...he -" she shuddered and took a deep breath, expelling it slowly. "He fell of the Needle. We tried to save him, but he fell. And Alec," she stopped to look up at me, "thinks he killed Ben. I thought he killed Ben. And I told him I never wanted to see him again. That he was poison." Those last words came out a whisper.
"Oh, Maxie! I -" I couldn't speak. I understood what she was feeling but at the same time hated what she'd done. This was my best friend we were talking about.
"And the worst part, Biggs? He doesn't know that Ben's alive." Max was trembling. She looked so lost.
I slipped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. Max went limp and she leaned into me. I bent to kiss her hair and whisper soothing words. Both my friends were hurting and I was at a loss of what to do.
Max twisted to look up at me. Her eyes were red and watery, but thankfully she was no longer crying. "Walk with me?" she asked softly. I nodded and pulled her gently up with me.
My arm still around her shoulder, we walked down the hallways of the Medical building, ignoring the curious and worried faces of everyone we passed. I glanced at Max beside me. I could see her blank face and hollow eyes and I heard the rapid, harsh breaths coming from her.
Coming to a standstill just outside the door to the operating theater, Max took a look at the people gathered there and growled angrily. "What are you standing here for? Let me through." There were murmurs of protest and a few of the guys tried to keep her for getting past them. "What's going on! Beat it! Get out of my way!" she yelled, clawing her way through the throng of concerned transgenics.
Tanner spoke low in my ear. "Ben's crashing. They're only trying to help her." I nodded mutely and reached for Max, but she shook me off, she had finally gotten through. The crowd parted silently and reluctantly and I followed her into the room. Taking in the scene, I squeezed Max's shoulder though she seemed oblivious to my presence, being completely preoccupied by what was happening.
"I'm here if you need me, Maxie. I'll be waiting right outside." I kissed her temple and turned around, stepping from the room and closing the door behind me.
I slid down the wall and settled in to wait. Only time would tell what would happen next.
MAX
I pushed past the crowd by the door and stepped into the room. The sight that greeted me was like a physical blow. My beautiful brother was fighting for his life, his body jerking and shaking as Mel and Kat and the others struggled to stabilize him. I don't know how long I stood there, watching as they prodded and poked him, working tirelessly to save his life.
My eyes were glued to the scene before me. The flurried movement of hands swapping medical equipment back and forth, the faint buzz of machinery, the hum of the heart monitor, hushed conversation between the nurses and doctors. The clink of metal against metal as various instruments were used and replaced, the thump of Ben's body as the defibrillator sent volts of electricity through his bruised frame.
I shouldn't have been there. I knew it and they knew I knew it. But there was no way I was leaving the room until Ben was ok. And the others knew better than to push me. And so I stood and waited.
I watched and waited and held my breath as Kat cut into him again. The sounds coming from other end of the room were deafening to my ears. I had locked out everything else, my entire focus on my brother and his fight for survival. I didn't know how much more Ben could take. He'd already had surgery just hours before and his body and immune system were weak. Come back to me, Ben. You have to come back, I can't lose you again!
It was ages before Kat stepped back, hands slick with the lifeblood of my brother. She wiped her wrist across her forehead, leaving a thin trail of blood in it's wake. The sight and smell of it made me dizzy and I let out a deep breath as the room started spinning.
Turning to me quickly, Mel grabbed my arm with one hand and placed another on the small of my back to steady me. She spoke softly. "Easy, Max, I've got you." She led me over to a chair someone had thoughtfully placed by Ben's bed and I sat down heavily. "We've managed to stabilize him. But it's gonna be touch and go, Max. Why don't you sit with him?" she said sadly. The look in her eyes told me what I dreaded.
I could hear the hushed voices of the medical team from the far side of the room as they cleaned themselves up. Though I wanted to be alone with Ben, knowing they were there was reassuring.
Reaching out I took his hand, mindful of the tubes and probes attached to his chest and arms. Ben's pale face was peaceful now. The bruises were fading and the cuts were almost gone. I kept a hold on his hand and pressed it to my cheek. He was unconscious and I didn't know if he could hear me or not, but I spoke softly to him, reminiscing about the few happy childhood memories we had shared. I told him about my life, my friends. I talked for hours until my throat was sore and my voice was hoarse. But still I talked.
"When I first met Alec, I thought he was you." I said, closing my eyes tightly as I recalled Alec swaggering into my cell in Manticore.
"He was paired with me as my breeding partner." I laughed lightly. "The thought of touching him...well, it it scared me. But it excited me too, I'll admit." I smiled gently down at my brother and whispered. "If you tell him that, soon as you're up and at it again I'll kick your ass."
I reached out to stroke his cheek when his eyes fluttered open and those beautiful hazel eyes stared up at me.
"Ben! You're awake!" I leaned over to hug him and he weakly lifted his right arm and wrapped it around my waist.
I pulled back to look at him. I couldn't hold back the tears of joy that were falling from my eyes.
"I heard that, Maxie." He rasped my name weakly and smiled. "Don't kid yourself, little sister. I could whoop your ass anytime."
I smiled broadly. "I'll hold you to that! Soon as you're better. Ben, You're gonna be ok. You'll be good as new in no time." I stroked his hair. Ben raised his arm and gripped my wrist, and I looked at him in surprise.
"I'm so sorry, Maxie. I crashed into your life again bringing more trouble." he said faintly.
"Don't ever say that! You're alive. That's all that matters!" I laid my head gently on his shoulder. I needed to feel him close. I never wanted to let him go again. "You're gonna be just fine."
Ben gently pushed me off him. "Look at me, Max."
I stared into his eyes. They were serious and sad. "Don't blame Alec, Maxie. It wasn't his fault. This wasn't his fault."
I just continued to stare. Despite our having been apart for half our lives, my brother knew me too well. I did hold Alec responsible for Ben's injuries.
"I let go, Maxie. We were both slipping. I chose to let go." Tears were now streaming down my face. I knew instinctively that Ben was telling the truth. He wasn't just trying to put things right. And I gasped as the implications of his words set in. He'd let go to save Alec.
Ben reached up to stroke my cheek. "I'm glad I got to see you again before I die."
I closed my eyes tightly and hugged him close. "You're not gonna die!"
"It's too late, Maxie. And we both know it." He pulled back to look at me. "Promise me something?"
"Anything." I sobbed. I'd give Ben the moon if I could.
"Find him, Maxie. Find Alec. You two belong together. Promise me, please?" His sad eyes pleaded with me, begging me.
"I promise." I whispered. And I would. I'd find Alec no matter how long it took. And then I'd apologize to the man I loved and hope he'd forgive me.
"Tell Alec I'm sorry." he wheezed, his breathing shallow and fast.
"No! You'll tell him yourself! We'll find him, we'll -" he interrupted me with a finger to my lips.
Ben whispered painfully and between gasps for air. "No time, Maxie. I love you. Remember, I'll always love you." He inhaled...
Ben's hand dropped from my lips and his eyes rolled back in his head as the monitor by his bed flatlined.
"Nooooooooooooo!"
TBC
Part Twenty-Two
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