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Journal,

So, after my disastrous birthday party, Dr "I-think-you're-bleeding-mental" caught up with me outside.

Dr: Ginny, I chatted with some of your brothers…

Is that what you call digging up my past to blackmail me in our therapy sessions from hell with? I thought it was called offer them liquor and they'll spill everything they knew about me. And if you get them really drunk they might take you home and show you the shrine I made to Harry when I was four and they preserved to forever embarrass me.

Me: Don't believe a thing they say. They lie.

Dr: Actually I found our chats enlightening.

Me: Kiss my as-- (then I remembered that's considered 'angry words') ascot.

Dr: Excuse me?

Me: Nothing.

Dr, looking at me in a really funny way: I was thinking maybe tomorrow they could join us.

Me: What?

Dr: I invited each one of them to come and spend the session with us so I could get to know your home life better.

Me: So you believe me!

I shouted that and everyone who was passing by stopped and stared. I glared at them and life went back to normal.

Dr: Excuse me?

Me: You believe that my family needs the therapy more than I do!

Dr: I didn't say that…

She went into some long lecture about how everyone could benefit from therapy, blah, blah, blah and halfway through I snuck off. And just my luck guess who I ran into.

Harry-I-left-the-country-never-to-return-except-on-nationally-observed-holidays-or-if-the-world-is-ending-Potter.

Harry: You left.

No dip dipshit.

Me: Yeah, it got a little, um… uncomfortable?

Harry: Tell me about it. Blaise sat on me again and started this story about how we were going to a spa up in Manchester for a weekend of drinking and sex.

Me: Ouch.

Harry: Yeah, he's not the lightest gay man I've ever met.

Me: Okay…

There's where the awkward silence set in. After a few long moments, me: Well, I'll see you around, I guess.

Harry nodded. Him: Where's your shrink's office? She invited me too.

Me: Bloody hell.

Harry: What?

Me: No way in bloody hell. She's out to ruin me…

Harry: What?

I was too shocked that my shrink would ask Harry-bleeding-Potter, the obsession of my life, sex god to me since I began thinking about sex, to a therapy session. Oh, this is war.

Harry: What did I say?

I ignored him.

Much Love,

Ginny

Journal,

They were all there! Every bleeding one of my freaking brothers. It looked like a fucking Weasley family reunion. Well we were all there waiting for Bill who's always late and maybe his wife Fleur.

Dr.: SO you're all Ginny's brothers! I'm so pleased to meet you!

Ugh put on a happy face much?

Dr.: Now I believe Ron's closest to Ginny's age, right?

Ron nodded.

Dr.: Now when do you think Ginny's anger issues started.

I groaned knowing where he would go with this.

Ron: Well it was a sweltering day and Mum had just bought a new box of popscicles. Well Ginny only eats the red ones. It was near noon when she went down to get one but someone had eaten all the red popsicles. She was so mad. She went throught the house looking for wrappers but never found out that it was Charlie.

Me: CHARLIE? You ate my RED POPSICLES?

Charlie gulped.

Dr.: Ginny calm yourself!

Dr.: Well no one ate your red popsicles!

Then she asked Fred and George if they remembered any traumatic events.

Fred: well there was this one time-

George: When Ginny became..you know-

Fred: a woman.

George: I guess Mum forgot-

Fred: that Ginny wasn't a boy-

George: because they never really had-

Fred: the talk.

George: Well she went around screaming-

Fred: that she was dying-

George: before Mrs. Nextdoor found her-

Fred: writing her will-

George: in her flower garden.

Fred: It was very traumatic-

George: for all of us.

Fred: because then Mum showed her this thing-

George: it looked like a mouse-

Fred: it had a tail and all-

George: and Mum whispered something in her ear-

Fred: then she screamed.

George: Ypu'd think with so many brothers-

Fred: she'd scream like a man.

I hate them. I hate them. I hate them.

Then they continued. Let's just say puberty was a bad time for me.

Dr.: Is there anything else you'd like to add?

Fred nodded.

George: There was this one time-

Fred: Mum took her shopping-

George: for…bras.

Threre was a giggle from the men (cough) in the room.

Fred: Mum took her to Victoria's secrect.

George: She started crying as soon as-

Fred: She saw all the black lacy garments.

George: She thought she was going to have-

Fred: wear them.

George: Fred explained that you only wear them on-

Fred: you're honeymoon.

George: Which led to us explaining what-

Fred: sex is.

George: Of course we thought it was-

Fred: hugging naked.

George: Anyway…

Fred: The sales woman took Ginny-

George: back to a dressing room-

Fred: to measure her.

George: Then like ten minutes later-

Fred: we hear a scream and beating-

George: on the door.

Fred: Then Ginny ran out-

George: claiming the woman-

Fred: molested her.

George: needless to say-

Fred: Mum didn't have that talk-

George: with her either.

Just as I was about to hex the twins there was a knock on the door. Bill walked in.

Bill: Hey sorry I'm late everyone. Oh this beautiful lady must be your Doctor.

He had a cold or something because his voice was all weird.

Dr.: I know who you must be! Please sit down.

Bill sat down and started making eyes at Doctor-holier-than thou.

Percy spoke this time.

Percy: Once…she dishonored the family by being so bad at school that the Headmaster had to write home about her.

We ignored him.

Then Fred and George were off again.

Fred: Once our friend-

George: Lee was over.

Fred: And he was telling us-

George: About "weaving."

Fred: Well Ginny walked in-

George: And was like-

Fred: "I didn't know you could weave."

George: Well the funny thing is-

Fred: That in Lee's house-

George: weaving is the code for-

Fred: Having sex.

Me: You NEVER told me it stood for that!

George: Well at least you didn't ask him-

Fred: to teach you to "weave."

Everyone laughed exept me and then Bill spoke.

Bill: Doctor…Would you like to get a drink sometime?

Dr.: I'm sorry but I'm not a lesbin.

SHE THOUGHT BILL WAS A WOMAN! Oh too funny. He'll never beable to live that down. Fred and George have taken to calling him Mrs. Bill Weasley.

Bill stood up and quickly left. The rest of my brothers followed behind laughing. Then the shrink spoke.

Dr.: I think you're brothers have to be the most horrid people I have ever met.

Harry: They're really not that bad. Just don't take any food or drink from them. Ever. Neville's still molting.

I laughed and Harry and I left.

Love the eternally embarassed,

Ginny


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