Chapter 14

"The doctor will be right with you."

"Okay."

The nurse left and Chase leaned back and closed his eyes. He hadn't said anything, neither to Jack nor to Kim, but he was worrying about his hand. Deep down he was afraid. Fuck, they had put a bullet through it. He was lucky if he would ever be able to use it again at all. But his career... What would become of him now?

"Chase," he heard Kim's voice and opened his eyes open and jerked his head around to the door. It was really her and now she came running towards him and flew into his arms. Well, the good one at least. He had only seen a glimpse of her when he had arrived and it had been so hard not to walk over to her right away. But instead he had followed orders and come down to the clinic to get his hand checked.

But now she was here, holding him, pressing her forehead against his, her hands touching his head, chest, shoulders, as if to make sure he was really there.

"Kim," he whispered, not able to voice how good it felt to see her. How alright things suddenly seemed.

"I was so afraid," she sobbed and he put his arm around her and held her tighter.

"I know. I was too," he whispered, trying to calm her down. "Of never seeing you again. But here we are."

Her hands cradled his face and she kissed him, burying her face against his neck then.

"Shh...it's alright. Everything's gonna be alright."

A moment longer she held on to him before she sniffed and straightened up a little.

"I know."

She pulled the chair closer and took a seat, staying as close to him as possible though.

"Anything from Jack yet?" he asked.

"He called in a while ago," Kim replied, her expression more concerned again.

"Is he alright?"

"He was then. He gave us a location where he was gonna meet Amador." She paused. "With Nina."

Chase took her hand into his and squeezed it encouraging.

"Hey. Jack will be fine. He has handled Nina before."

"I know," Kim said but he knew there was more. He looked at her, giving her time.

"When you called, when I heard that he had taken off with her -". She cast her eyes down and hang her head. "I thought he was gonna kill her."

"We all did." And it was probably what Jack had planned on doing in the first place.

"Yeah but..." Kim shook her head, "I was glad. I was happy. And I couldn't wait to...I was just waiting for him to call in again and say that it's over."

He tried to say something but she shook her head again, trying to hold the tears back, indicating to him that she wasn't done yet. And he remained silent. She obviously wanted to get it off her chest.

"And when he did call...and I heard that she was still alive...I was so disappointed. I was angry and mad and..." She wiped a tear off her cheek and Chase couldn't hold back any longer.

"Kim, what your father did, what he had to do -"

"I know," she cut him short. "I know, she was the only link to Amador and that he needed her. But...I really wanted nothing more than for him to kill her. To shoot her or..."

"I know," he whispered and put a hand at her cheek. "I know. I know what she did to you. God, I would have killed her if -"

"No," she said and he stared at her in surprise. "You don't understand."

She took his hand and closer her own around it, looking down at it while she seemed to try and find the right words.

"What she did was...I still can't stand the thought that she's been...going on and living her life while my mother can't. And just thinking she might get away again is...too much but," she squeezed his hand when he wanted to interject again, "but - I've been thinking. The last hour I've been thinking and...despite everything...I don't know if that's who I want to be."

She looked into his eyes and the pain was so clearly visible that he wanted nothing more but to pull her close. But she wasn't finished yet.

"Wishing for someone else to be dead, being happy for someone getting shot. Not even if it's her." Again she wiped a tear away that was running down her cheek. "And I don't know if that's who I want my dad to be. Or what I want him to do. To kill someone like that."

He sighed and squeezed her hand again, to show her that he understood.

"I mean, if she resists, if she runs, if she tries anything. But not if..."

She looked at him with more tears in her eyes and sobbed and when she leaned forward he wrapped his arms around her, ignoring the state of his injured hand. She was shaking now, crying against his shoulder and he held her, running his hand over her hair.

"It's okay. Shh...it's okay."

He didn't know what else to say.

"It's gonna be alright."