Author: Lucinda

Rated y-14

Main characters: Angel, Willow.

Disclaimer: recognize them? If so, they aren't mine.

Distribution: NHA, Wic, Bite Me, WLS, Mental Wanderings.

Notes: AU post s4, and AU in that while Angel went to LA, I'm ignoring the events of AtS almost entirely. Partially in response to a challenge to use some advice/lyrics. Despite mentions of two cities frequently used in crossover stories, this is NOT a crossover.

Angel moved along the street, one hand in his pocket, fingertips caressing a worn scroll. He couldn't read it, but the old man who'd given it to him had sworn that it would bind his soul to his body. Forever, or until he crumbled to dust, which was really close enough. Sometimes, there was a little more reward to helping people than a nice feeling inside.

Now, all he had to do was find someone who could actually read the scroll. No, he'd also need to find someone who could cast whatever ritual was described on the scroll. How exactly would he manage that one? It wasn't as if he could just walk up to the first powerful witch he found and say, 'Pardon, but could you cast this spell for me? Why, yes, I am a vampire, but I'm not going to bite…' He'd probably be turned into dust or maybe a frog before he could finish asking for a spell.

Part of him wished that he could have stayed in Sunnydale, stayed with Buffy. She'd cared for him, despite the fangs, despite knowing that he'd been evil, done horrible things. Despite what Angelus had put her through. Angelus had despised Buffy, a loathing far more intense than what his demon had felt for any other Slayer that he'd encountered.

No, Sunnydale would have been a disaster. Buffy had also moved on, to that soldier. It was probably petty of him to wish that something unfortunate would happen to her soldier, but he'd spent quite a while doing just that. Yet gradually, it had felt less emotional, more as if he was just going though empty motions.

Something inside him hummed, a prickling awareness that was almost like sensing one of his… one of Angelus' children. Oddly, this thread of connection and awareness wasn't coming from his demon. Frowning, he tried to determine who or what his soul could possibly be connected to. He barely had any acquaintances in St. Louis, let alone someone close enough that he had a bond with them.

A vampire was stalking towards a red-haired woman in the park. She looked like she was just walking along the duck pond by moonlight. The other vampire obviously thought that she was easy prey. After a moment, he realized that Angelus didn't quite agree – oh, she looked like easy prey, but something just didn't quite seem to add up to his demon.

Ignoring the question of what exactly was off, Angel moved closer. Just because some woman wanted to look at the moonlight on the water didn't mean he should let her get attacked. He could save her, as nobody had saved the people that he... that Angelus had drained.

He wasn't quite fast enough.

The vampire lunged at the woman, and she twisted out of the way, one hand moving upwards, as if to ward off attack. The vampire stopped, as if he'd slammed into an invisible wall, and the woman stabbed out with something. The vampire fell into dust.

She'd been playing helpless to lure him out. Angel was shocked, and his demon felt like he was chuckling. It was really a clever strategy; Darla and Dru had used it for years.

The woman turned towards him, one hand still out, fingers spread, the other hand gripping a stake. "I can feel another vampire out there; you might as well either show yourself or go away."

He knew that voice. Recognition swept through him, and it was as if every part of him straightened up, senses focused on the woman. "Willow? What are you doing here?"

"Angel?" Willow blinked at him, shaking her head as if she expected him to be some sort of hallucination. "I could ask you the very same thing. I thought you went to LA?"

"Too much smog," Angel muttered, not wanting to go into the details. LA had been both too close and too far from Buffy. Close enough that he couldn't forget, and far enough that he couldn't see her. "I thought it might be time for a change, maybe travel to somewhere a with less sunshine."

Willow nodded, the stake vanishing up her sleeve. "I decided to listen to some of the advice that the speaker for the college graduation had for everyone. I mean, I wasn't graduating, but I still went and listened, partly because the last graduation before that was so terrible, and I wanted to make sure there were no more demon snakes, but…" Willow shook her head, ending her babble.

"What advice was that? Get out of California before it falls into the ocean?" Angel couldn't help but wonder.

"Part of it was about sunscreen, and the other part was to travel. Go out and see the world while you have the chance." Willow smiled at him, "There's some nice parts of the world away from Sunnydale."

Angel nodded, having seen a good deal more of the world than just Sunnydale. He wasn't certain if she had somewhere to go, but she started walking, and he was walking beside her as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "So, I see you've kept working on the magic."

"Yeah," Willow nodded. "I'm getting a lot better. Things don't always go quite the way I expect, but still… better than before."

"Are you still in college?" Angel asked, then wincing at the feeling of Angelus chuckling. "I mean…"

"I had some weird stuff happen after Thanksgiving, which was quite weird enough," Willow frowned, presumably at the memories. "Tara and I were trying to work on the magic together, and there was this whole mess… No, that's not my mess to share. Eventually, we did this spell that was supposed to show us the future, and… umm, the future if we stayed in Sunnydale wasn't pretty. Death, madness, broken hearts… Ugly stuff."

Angel made a noise, not quite certain what to say. The reasons sounded so similar to what had prompted his own departure from Sunnydale. In the desperate hope of not talking about death or broken hearts, he said the first thing that came to his mind, "So, how is Tara doing these days?"

Willow sighed, and shrugged. "Okay, I guess. We split up about a year after leaving Sunnydale. She's in Boston now, teaching at a small college. We still email, occasionally, but… I guess we drifted apart."

"Oh…" Angel winced. He'd been so worried about avoiding his awkward topics that he'd blundered into one for Willow. "I'm sorry."

"Sometimes that sort of thing happens. But on the good side, there was no cheating, no impalement, and nobody died," Willow tried to smile. "I'm not exactly heartbroken. I miss her, but… I guess what I miss more is not being alone."

Angel nodded, understanding exactly what she meant. He hated most of what Angelus had done, but his soulless self hadn't been alone. Angelus stirred unhappily, and it felt like he was being thumped with something that should have been obvious – he'd been thinking that he needed a witch who wouldn't fry him, and Willow was a witch. Maybe she could help with being alone, with avoiding life. "Would this be a bad time to ask what it would take to convince you to do a spell for me?"

"Err… what sort of spell?" Willow asked, curiosity bright in her eyes.

Angel pulled out the scroll, opening it to reveal swirls of ink. "It's supposed to anchor my soul, without any clauses. I just can't read it, and if I can't read it, I can't cast it."

Willow stepped closer, peering at the markings. "Ohhh, that's so simple! Why didn't any of us think of doing that?"

"You can read this?" Angel asked, part of him wanting to know what was simple, and how long it would take to cast.

"This… yeah, my dad insisted. I'm Jewish, he wanted me to be able to read the Torah in the original. He was a big force behind my academic progress and eventual geekiness." Willow smiled, and pointed at the scroll. "It's even a pretty simple spell."

"Does that mean you'll cast it?" Angel's words were barely more than a whisper, and he leaned closer to her, their bodies almost touching, as if he'd hear the answer in her thoughts instead of with his ears. He still didn't understand the thread of connection that he felt for her. "It's not too powerful for you, is it?"

"Pffttt, no." Willow waved her hand, shaking her head at the same time. "The hard part of the spell would normally be getting the soul into the body to begin with, and I already did that for you years ago. We just have to wait for the half moon, which stands for balance."

Angel blinked, feeling stunned. "You? You restored my soul? I'd always wondered who cast the Restoration ritual, with Jenny being dead."

"Yeah, me," Willow murmured, her eyes going dark with memory. "We didn't have many options, and while Giles knows some magic, his vote was for killing Angelus and being done with the whole mess."

"Thank you," Angel spoke, looking at her. "Thank you for my soul."

"You're welcome, Angel." Willow was blushing, tipping her chin down as if by hiding her crimson cheeks from his gaze, he wouldn't know. "Don't worry so much, and once we do this, you won't have to worry about it going anywhere."

Smiling, Angel rolled the scroll back up. "If you've just been traveling, did you have anywhere that you planned to go next?"

"Not yet," Willow admitted, and then glanced at his hand. "Though it looks like I'll be staying here for a while."

"Good. Maybe we can get together, talk about what things have been like since we saw each other last?" Angel offered, part of him thinking that the words sounded an awful lot like a date. "We could have coffee."

"Coffee." Willow was smiling now. "I think I'd like that. Someone once said that it wasn't good to be alone all the time, and I think we could both listen to that a little more."

"True," Angel nodded, feeling better than he had in a long time. Maybe neither one of them would need to be alone. Maybe Willow could stay with him, and they could travel together. Or maybe he should just be glad that there was a way to bind his soul permanently, and leave the rest for later.

End Soul's Hope.