Warning: This chapter starts off pretty dark. Most of the following chapters will have similar dark interludes and nightmares. If you are disturbed by rape/torture, you may not want to read. I'm sorry, but I really like to torture the characters I like best (poor Ed!).

Disclaimer: I own nothing! I am poor! Don't sue me, it isn't worth the legal fees.


Ch. 3

Nightmares and New Days

A painless lesson is one without any meaning.One who does not sacrifice anything cannot achieve anything.

-Fullmetal Alchemist, book 1 part 1

The first thing Ed noticed was the pain that seemed to wrack his entire body, starting at the base of his skull where he'd been hit. The second was that his right arm and left leg felt strange. Automail hooked directly into the nerves, but it wasn't like true flesh. What would be pain for flesh felt more like pressure to automail nerves, and cold and heat didn't register at all. But not only did his artificial limbs hurt, they were as cold as the rest of him, lying on the stone floor.

Ed slowly opened his eyes to look at his right hand curled in front of his face where he lay on his side. It was…not automail. It was a flesh and blood hand. He flexed his fingers experimentally, and gave a small gasp when they moved just as they should. His arm was fixed. He wearily raised his head to stare down his bruised body to his left leg. His pants had been cut off that leg high up on the thigh, exposing most of his smooth, slim, now fully flesh limb. He flexed his toes as he had his fingers, and they moved too. Rather than feeling joy, however, he felt confusion and dread. His wrists and ankles were tied together so tightly that it hurt, and red chafe marks showed on his skin. He wore only his sleeveless black undershirt and the mutilated black pants.

A low chuckle grabbed his attention and he looked up. The room he was in had been beautiful once. It was mostly white marble, with ornately carved pillars and a pattern in black on the floor. It was now dusty and dim, having fallen into disuse. He followed the line of the floor to the silhouette across the room. It may have been to dark for him to see the face, but he knew the distinctive silhouette, with its medium-height, slim build and long spiky hair. Envy.

"So you're awake, Fullmetal shrimp," the homunculus began as he walked across the room. "You know, I've been rethinking my nickname for you. You're not exactly full metal anymore, now are you? And shrimp are small like you, but they're ugly. You're more like a kitten—so cute when you get riled up, striking out with your little claws. Yeah, I think I'll call you kitty from now on."

Ed gritted his teeth as the homunculus approached, familiar outlandish clothing and mocking attitude as usual.

"Do you like our little present? I thought the automail looked kind of cool, myself, but big man in charge wanted you all fixed up. Not a bad thing, really—you got pretty legs."

Ed sucked in a deep breath as the homunculus dropped to his needs beside him and gently cupped Ed's cheek in his hand. Envy smiled evilly as he gently rubbed his thumb across Ed's full lower lip before lifting his hand and then quickly slapping Ed hard. Still groggy and tied up, Ed was unable to defend himself when Envy rolled him onto his back and straddled his hips. Envy grabbed Ed's tied hands and roughly pushed them to the floor above his head before settling down with his hands holding Ed's wrists in place, elbows on the floor beside Ed's head.

"You look good all tied up, kitten," the homunculus whispered in Ed's ear, breath hot and moist.

The hands were everywhere—so was the mouth. And the pain, the blinding pain. He was dirty, omigod, he'd never be clean again, disgusting. Everything smelled like Envy. Ed cried, though he hadn't in years. He struggled, and whimpered, and lost all pride, but that just seemed to encourage Envy. Then…the pain…splitting Ed in two…no more, please…help…help…AAAUUGGGHH!

Ed gasped as he opened his eyes. For a fearful moment of disorientation he couldn't remember where he was, and looked around the room. The light spilling through the small window told him it was morning, and the small, impersonal room with its two beds told him he was in an inn. Then he remembered—the gates. They were in another world. Still, the room looked much like many a room he and he brother had stayed in before. Wooden floors, whitewashed walls, pseudo-homey furniture. It was comforting, in a way, because he was so used to waking up in hotel rooms.

The rumpled sheets on the other side of the bed told him that Al had slept in the bed with him last night. Why, when there were two beds? The other bed didn't look slept in. In fact, it was so neatly made that it didn't look like it had been slept in in quite a while.

The door opened, and Al quietly walked into the room with a tray in his hands.

"Oh, you're awake," said Al. He was already dressed, though more casually today than yesterday. Technically, neither Ed nor Al were in the military, and so they weren't required to wear a uniform and rarely did so. They had worn their uniforms the previous day to make an impression.

Al had tailored his clothes after Ed's, which looked more formal and military than your average street clothes, but more casual than actual uniforms. Like Ed, he wore simple slacks with a light cotton undershirt and a short, high-collared coat. Unlike Ed, Al preferred to wear a warm brown color instead of stark black. His overcoat was similar to Ed's favorite red one, but a tan color instead. In the heat of this world, however, it was unlikely that either would wear their overcoats.

"I hope that's for me," Ed said, eyeing the breakfast on the tray. He wasn't really hungry—that nightmare tended to spoil his appetite—but he didn't want Al to worry and needed to eat anyway.

Ed shuddered as he suppressed the effects of the dream. It was a memory, really. Not even Al, who knew him so well, knew everything that had gone on when he had been a captive of the homunculi. He hadn't told anyone of the things Envy had done to him. The other homunculi had tormented him as well, but Envy seemed to have a special place in his heart for Ed. He had learned to fear Envy more than any of the other Homunculi or even Dante or his father. Envy, whose body had never been found. As much as he wanted to believe it, he didn't think that Envy was dead.

"Of course, brother" Al said, setting the tray on the small wooden table and eyeing his brother worriedly. He knew better than to say anything, though. Ed never talked about his nightmares and, if asked, would deny that anything was wrong. At least he'd slept.

Al had already packed Edward's things and laid out his outfit and bathing supplies so that Ed could get ready as quickly as possible. They still had plenty of time before Mustang planned for them to leave, but Ed liked to take long baths. Al had already bathed, but followed his brother down to the inn's crude bathhouse anyway. No way was he letting his brother go get nude in a place full of strangers all alone.

Ed held back his weary sigh as Al followed him. He could take care of himself, but he knew that Al would not just go away. Truth be told, he wasn't happy at the idea that Al had bathed by himself either. Besides, it felt kind of comforting to have Al there in the aftermath of that nightmare.

Ed sighed in relief as he settled in the small wooden bathtub—I better damn well not get any splinters—and the steaming water soothed his tense muscles. Those damn dreams really did a number on him, as did overexerting himself.

"So, Al, what'd I miss?"

"Well, there doesn't seem to be much of a government at all over here. And no real military, either. No one in this city is prepared to do anything about the gates or the people going through them except for maybe this one group. They're called the Sanzo group, it seems to be the leader's name. He's some kind of priest—don't look like that, brother, not all priests are con men—and he's on a mission of some kind. He says that the people who came through the gate are called youkai, and that they went mad because of something some people in the west did. He's trying to stop those people and reverse what happened to the youkai. He thinks that the people in the west may have been behind the gates. He's going to go study the gates in a little while, and we're going with them," Al fell silent as he watched his brother absorb all of the information.

"Brother, you remember how the gates were opened using alchemy and something else? Maybe the something else came from this world. Maybe this Sanzo can help us close the gate. He carries a strange scroll of some kind on his shoulder. He seems protective of it, but look at it if you are able. Some of the symbols there, well, they look like the symbols on the gates—you know, the symbols that weren't alchemical," Al said after a moment.

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind," Ed said, but their discussion was interrupted when the door opened and in walked a handsome blonde man.

The blonde was really, really handsome, actually. His hair was long enough to hang down to his collar in back with shorter bangs falling to his eyes in front. His hair was a similar color to Ed's, like gold or the sun. He was tall and thin, which was easy to see in his jeans and tight black sleeveless shirt with strange arm warmers. He was all lean muscle, but his skin was pale and soft looking. His face was pretty, with unusual purple eyes, but fixed upon it was a sour look. He did not looked pleased to see them there as he headed towards the bathhouse's second tub.

"Hello, Mr. Sanzo," said Al, bowing respectfully. Ed just sat in his tub staring insolently, fighting the urge to shrink down and cover his nudity, even though the man couldn't seem to care less.

Sanzo just grunted in response, pulling the small curtain between the tubs closed to afford himself some privacy. The boy who'd spoken to him had been with the foreigners last night, and the other boy was probably one of their group too. He barely noticed that the two had gone quiet since he entered.

Ed quickly finished his bath and got out of the tub, wrapping himself in one towel as he used the other to begin the troublesome job of drying his long hair. He didn't mind bathing in front of Al. Al was his brother, and they'd done too much traveling, spent too much time together, and shared too many rooms for much modesty between them. But that easy comfort ended with Al. He hated the idea of anyone else seeing him naked. He knew it worried some of his friends that he was so body shy and showed no interest in dating or sex throughout his teen years, something most boys his age were constantly preoccupied with. But sex was almost repulsive and certainly frightening to Ed—just another little gift from Envy. He didn't feel comfortable until he was dry and dressed in his familiar black pants and undershirt. Then he and Al left the bathhouse and headed back to the room, as he continued to try to dry his long hair. It would take a long time to get completely dry, especially if he pulled it back, so he left it down for the time being.

He didn't know why he kept his long hair. It could be so annoying, and wasn't exactly the most masculine look—and Ed hated to be compared to a girl. It took forever to dry and got into everything if he didn't tie it back. But still, for some reason he was attached to it. Ah, here was the reason. Al settled onto the bed behind Ed and began slowly brushing Ed's hair to help it dry and remove the tangles. Al had always enjoyed playing with Ed's thick locks, even as a suit of armor. Al thought his hair was pretty. It had become kind of a ritual between them for Al to brush his hair like this. Al isn't the only one who liked my hair—Ed ruthlessly squashed that thought. He WAS NOT going to let Envy ruin his memories with Al. He sighed and settled back, letting the soft, repetitive tugging at his hair sooth him. As he began to relax his mood lifted. He stiffened briefly when the door opened, but it was only Hawkeye.

"Hello," he greeted, staring at her quizzically. She didn't seem to be coming to get them, so why was she here?

"Good morning," Hawkeye replied dryly. It was always cute to see the Elric brothers with their guard down, a rare occurrence. They were so close. It was just plain sweet to see Al brushing Ed's hair.

Ed watched in dawning horrified embarrassment as Hawkeye walked in, picked up one of the suitcases (three?) from the corner, put it on the second bed, and flipped it open. She quickly began to pull some of her belongings out of the suitcase and fiddle with them. It was clicking—two beds, but Al slept with him, three suitcases…Riza Hawkeye had slept in the same room as them. Ed actually eeped.

"You slept in here with us last night!" Ed gasped out.

Hawkeye looked up, hiding her amusement. "Of course. The inn is short on beds, so most people are sharing." She hid her grin as Ed turned red with embarrassment and Al flushed behind him.

"Oh…uh..of course," replied a dazed Ed. They had roomed with a girl! Hawkeye, of course, who he was used to, but still a girl!

"Come on, boys, time to leave in 15 minutes," Hawkeye said as she looked at her watch, snapping shut her case and leaving the room.

Ed's hair still wasn't dry yet, so he decided on a ponytail instead of a braid. It would never dry in a braid. Then he put his coat and boots on and he and Al were ready to go.

Ed seems better this morning, Roy Mustang thought as the brothers came downstairs. He'd noticed the night before when Ed had come in exhausted, but had been unable to do anything about it. He wasn't needed anyway. Al took care of his brother quite well when he got like that. Still, a part of him had wanted to rush over and coddle Ed—an instinct he knew well enough to suppress, both for Ed's sake and his own. Ed wouldn't want it and would probably hurt him if he tried. Sad truth was that he was attracted to the boy. No, not a boy. Ed had become a young man. Anything he may have felt for the pretty boy Ed had been was easy to squash because Roy WAS NOT attracted to children, dammit. It wasn't so easy to ignore his undeniable attraction to a grown-up, beautiful Ed. Yes, beautiful. Ed couldn't be called feminine, despite his slight build, long hair, and delicate features, but he wasn't exactly screaming masculinity either. His beauty seemed to surpass gender, like a well-crafted katana, slim and deadly and lovely—so it was not surprise to anyone that people of both genders drooled over him. But Roy refused to become one of those people. Even if Ed wasn't his subordinate, wasn't 14 years younger than Roy, he was entirely too dependant upon his mentor. Roy didn't want to take advantage of his young charge.

Roy had tried to keep from getting too close, but after seven years of working together it was hard not to get attached. From the first time he had seen Ed, in shock and pain, missing limbs, he had admired the boy's grit and determination. Ed may have looked broken to the casual observer, but there was a fire in his eyes that denied it. Working with the genius over the years had only increased that admiration. And the boy was so amusing when he got riled up, which was easy to do. When Ed had started to grow up, honest respect was added to the mix. It was more than just the physical that had enhanced Ed's beauty—the slight thinning of the face as he lost baby fat, the change in posture and build—it was a personality change as the boy learned a bit of self control. He began to wear his masks less and less and yet to control himself better. The masks, of course, were his characteristic triumphant smirk, which he used to cover any real pain or doubt, and his incoherent illogical anger, which he let loose at the slightest hint of insult. The effect was that Ed was more open and yet less frightening. And when he let loose that still rare, heart-felt smile…he could stop hearts and move mountains. Not that he didn't still have his temper or his admittedly well-earned pride. He hadn't lost anything—he had gained. He had learned that most people couldn't read him well enough to hurt him without those masks, and the people who mattered saw through them anyway. His new maturity as much as anything else made him sexy as hell.

NO! Roy would not think of Ed that way. As far as he knew, Ed had never shown any romantic interest in anyone. Not surprising, really. Ed spent most of his early teen years searching for the philosopher's stone. Before that, he had either lived in a small town with people he had known all his life, or with his sensei, studiously learning alchemy. Few people realized it, but behind his temper and away from the subject of alchemy or his overgrown sense of justice, Ed was shy. Which was just so cute. Oh, dammit, there he went again.

It wasn't helping that Ed wore a ponytail today. Roy couldn't stop himself from imagining that hair running through his fingers sometimes. In a braid it was just restrained enough to ignore the imagery, but in a ponytail, swinging free on his back, Roy could almost feel the glorious, silky mass of gold. It was so shiny. At least he's not wearing it down today Roy thought. If he were Ed's lover, he'd never let him wear his hair down except when they were alone. It was too beautiful to share.

Noticing Havoc's smirk, he removed his attention from Ed with an almost palpable snap, finishing his coffee and making sure all of the subordinates who would be accompanying him this morning were present and ready to go. The Elric brothers he had already noted, as well as Havoc (who was still smirking, he noted without amusement), and there was Hawkeye. They would all travel in one car together, as was the norm with the Elrics and Hawkeye acting as his aides and Havoc the driver. Breda and Fury as well as two privates he did not know would be following in a second car. Armstrong and the rest of the group would be staying behind. The second car wasn't necessary, really, more of an honor guard. It was Ed and Al who would do most of the work from their group. Better safe than sorry, though.

When the three cars—two containing Mustang and his people, and Hakkai's Jeep—arrived at the gate, everyone piled out to inspect the gate. Ed took the opportunity to examine their new traveling companions, the Sanzo group. As noted earlier, Sanzo was the stunning yet sour blond in strange robes. Hopping around Sanzo in a hyper manner was a kid…not really a kid, though. Al said his name was Goku. He looked about eighteen, he just acted like he was five. He had long hair in the back and some weird crown thing on his head. Hmm, he had gold eyes. Interesting—the only other person Ed had ever met with eyes like his was Hoenhiem Elric (that man was not his father). Watching on with a friendly smile was a handsome, dark-haired man with bright green eyes and a monocle. His name seemed to be Hakkai. And there was that annoying redhead from the night before. Hakkai called him Gojyo. Ed found his attention drawn back to the gate when Sanzo spoke.

"Hmm…These are symbols I recognize from the Seitan Sutra. But I don't know what these are."

"They're alchemical symbols," Ed said, taking the initiative. Mustang had said not to use alchemy, he hadn't said not to talk about it. Besides, best to learn now if these people had a problem with it.

Sanzo turned slowly to look at Ed, irritation and curiosity warring on his face. Ed walked up beside Sanzo to look at the gate more closely. A stone half circle rising from the ground, the gate was covered with symbols and the electrical reaction that usually indicated alchemy. It seemed identical to what it looked like on their side of the gate. About half of the symbols were alchemical in nature, depicting elements and complex processes. But the other half of the symbols were strange, foreign. Like nothing he'd ever seen before, even in the far land of Xing. For Ed and Al, trying to understand the construction of the gate was like trying to read a letter where every other word was in a foreign language. Perhaps with time they would have been able to decipher it, but with youkai coming through and eating people, they didn't have that kind of time.

"And, what, pray tell, are alchemical symbols?" asked Sanzo, curiosity winning out for the moment.

"Symbols for alchemy. It's the most important science in our world. It involves transmutations—changing substances from one thing to another. Can I see that thing wrapped around your neck?"

Sanzo started at the change of subject. What the hell! Of course the brat couldn't hold the sutra. Sanzo decided to let his renowned icy glare give his answer. The kid stared back, unimpressed. Sanzo suppressed the desire to pull a gun on him.

"No," Sanzo answered simply. The kid looked like he wanted to argue, but a sharp look from the black-haired man (Mustang) stopped him.

"So it looks like alchemy and this Seitan Sutra were used together to open the gates. Ed and Al here are experts on alchemy," said Mustang, gesturing at the two boys. "Do you think you could use this sutra and work with them to close the gates?"

"No. I don't have the Seitan Sutra. The people in the west do. Looks like you'll have to go with us anyway," said Sanzo, seeming less than enthusiastic.


Ranger: I'm glad you like. I hope you continue to read. I love Saiyuki and FMA, too. As for how they met, there was only one inn big enough for the Armestris group and that was the one Sanzo was staying at (the best inn in town). They metbecause Mustang was looking for an authority figure he could talk to about the gates and Sanzo was looking into them. It was a coincidence, really.

Climax: Great to hear fromyou again! I'm so glad you're still reading. You can download a good bit ofSaiyuki Reload from a websight called MangaCity, if you are interested. You could also buythe manga for the original at Books-a-Million orprobably any largebookstore chain. I have all the ones thathave been released around here, and they are worth every penny. Asfor Gojyo, well,I really haven't decided yetwhether or not to stick him with Sanzo. In the manga he clashes with Sanzo a lot, which always makes for interesting relationships. Gojyo's a real lady's man, he's all about having one nightstands and lots of fun. So he's noticedEd becauseEd's socool!But he'd also notice anyone really attractive orinteresting, I think. Anyways, thanks for continueing to read. I really likeseeing your comments! (Oh, andI think you're right about there just being so many fanfics in this category that mine isn't read as much! I'vealso released aLegal Drug story and its gotten many more reviews!)

Schizo the Mentally Disturbed: Yay, another fan! I love both series as well. And I think they mesh well-they have a similar tone, all nitty-gritty with plenty of sarcastic humor and angst. I may take you up on your offer later! I've read Saiyuki 1-6 (all that's been released around here) and Saiyuki Gaiden (which I absolutely love), but I may put Homura in later, and ifI do, I'm gonna need someone to tell me about him because allI know is whatI've read in other fanfics! Thanks for reading, I hope you like the new chapter!

I think that's everyone who reviewed! If you reviewed and I didn't reply to your review, tell me and I'll fix it! Hope everyone likes.