Before you read, I would like to say that I am so sorry for taking so long to write this chapter…especially when the last chapter ended on a cliff-hanger. I've been busy, busy, busy. I can't say how much better I'll be in the future, but I'll try. I do intend to keep working on this story.
Warning: Yaoi Lemon, Lime, and Fluff! If you've been reading for the action, I suggest you skim this chapter. Its got character-building and relationship stuff, but no real action. Mentions of past rape.

Disclaimer: I still don't own them.

Ch. 6 A Bitter Brine Tide

Destroying lives doesn't bring lives back. We all just need to live and be content while we can.

Ed, episode 15

The first thing that Ed noticed was warmth. He was warm. Toasty, actually. The second thing he noticed was that he was laying on something hard—the ground? Slowly opening his eyes he saw a merrily crackling fire a few feet away from him. He was, indeed, lying on the ground in what appeared to be a small, cozy cave. Gradually Ed sat up, groaning slightly at the soreness of his body. He felt as if he'd been beaten. Looking down at himself, Ed came to the realization that he was wearing nothing more than an oversized white button up shirt.

Glancing wildly about, Ed saw his pants, the thick black denim soaked, torn, and muddy. The sight of his jeans drying a few feet away from the fire reminded him of the battle and the fall. He'd been fighting Envy. Envy was here. God, I wanted him to be dead! Then he and Mustang had fallen into the river.

Looking more closely at the shirt he wore, he realized it was the kind that Mustang wore and had a spicy, masculine scent. Smells like Mustang. Ed had noticed that smell years ago. It was warm and sweet but strong and masculine. He wasn't sure if it was a favorite cologne or just the man's natural scent, but it was intoxicating. This must be his shirt. He must have pulled us both out of the water. Though Ed clearly remembered the fall from the cliff—that sinking feeling when there was nothing to support him and gravity pulled him down—but nothing after that. He must have lost consciousness when they hit the water.

A slight rustling noise at the entrance of the cave announced Roy's arrival. He'd been scouting around, trying to figure out where they were, but didn't want to be gone too long. Who knew what a recently awakened Ed might do if left to his own devices. And Ed should wake soon. As he walked into the cave he saw that Ed was, indeed, awake, and looking very tempting wearing nothing but Roy's white shirt, golden hair cascading freely down his back in a tangled mass. All the mental discipline in the world couldn't stop Roy's pants from feeling two sized too small. Something about that simple, too-large white shirt slipping off Ed's left shoulder, his slender, shapely legs covered only to mid-thigh, was extremely arousing. Almost more arousing than Ed totally bare, unconscious from the rough beating water, had been.

"So, you're awake then." Roy shook himself from his reverie, putting his attention firmly on the fire, for which he'd brought more wood. It got cold at nights, and Ed had been dangerously cold since Roy'd pulled him from the water.

"Yeah…where are we?" Ed looked around, ignoring how attractive Mustang was in his white tank top and navy pants. The man was sleekly built. In his uniform, it might be possible to believe that he was weak or did not keep his body in top form. In the tight fitting tank top no such illusion was possible. His arms were lithely muscled and his stomach defined. His broad shoulders narrowed to temptingly narrow hips and his clavicles, usually hidden by his uniform's tall collar, were sharply defined below his muscular, though slender, neck. Stop it! Think about something else—the situation, think about the situation!

"We're in a cave, somewhere downstream. The river's not far from here. I thought we'd rest here for a bit. The others should be along shortly, I hope."

"We should…go find them."

"With you wearing that?" Roy raised an eyebrow, smirking. "I think not. Your shirt was ruined in the water. The cotton was too thin, it was torn to bits. Your pants are a bit better off, but still wet. Our military uniforms are for more than just looks, Ed. The wool is thick enough to withstand a beating but light enough to dry quickly. Besides, you hit that water head-first. It's a miracle you're neck didn't break. You need to rest."

"I'm fine," snapped Ed, reddening. Oh, god, he was in front of Mustang wearing nothing more than a shirt. And Mustang in that tank-top…never before had he been so aware of the general. Arranging his shirt to cover as much of his body as possible, Ed began combing his fingers through his tangled hair impatiently. When he winced as he pulled too hard, Ed noticed that Mustang had set the firewood down and was standing right behind him. Then Mustang sat down right behind him.

"I'll do it," he said softly. Gently Mustang gathered up Ed's hair before he began pulling his fingers through it. It was so soft and silky, even as tangled as it was from the rough water of the river. Touching Ed's hair was something Roy had fantasized and now the fantasy was coming true. He realized how much Ed was enjoying it when he heard him groan softly. There was no embarrassed flush, no denial, so he probably didn't even realize he had. He seemed to be in a kind of trance, his body relaxing to lean back against Roy. Roy bit back his own groan at the warm weight. Just doing his hair. Nothing sexual about that. Yeah. Sure.

It was amazing to Ed how good having Mustang do his hair felt. Al did his hair all the time, and Winry occasionally, too (and she always wanted to curl it or put ribbons in it or something), but it never felt like this. The gentle tugging of the strands, the warmth of his fingers ghosting over Ed's scalp…the feel of his hot breath on the back of Ed's neck, his strong thighs nestling Ed between them, the strong chest a few inches behind Ed…. Ed's eyes slowly closed as he mindlessly leaned back into the caresses like a cat being petted. Before he knew it, Mustang had given up on any pretended neutrality and was rubbing his head as Ed leaned into the caress and arched his back into Mustang's trim, muscled chest.

Roy had denied his attraction to Ed for a long, long time, but in one small moment years of careful self-delusion were destroyed as he gently reached forward, grabbed Ed's chin, and pulled his face around to kiss him softly on full lips. The kiss was closed-mouth and soft, almost chaste, but one of the most sensual experiences Roy had ever had. Ed's lips, forbidden territory, were as soft as the velvet down of a rose petal and Ed's slight weight in his arms warm.

For Ed, the kiss was magic. He'd been kissed before, but Roy was different. His lips were thin, but sensual and strong. It was amazing how something so simple as rubbing two pieces of flesh together created such feelings.

All to soon, the kiss ended. Ed slowly opened his golden eyes. They were foggy, the pupils dilated, and their gold had darkened. He met Roy's heated gaze and his breath quickened. He'd seen similar looks on Roy's face before, but never so intense. When Roy was serious, his sharp coal eyes smoldered, but now…they were like a slow burning black fire, engulfing Ed's mind. Ed slowly became aware of his body again, the feel of muscular arms tight around him. Throwing caution to the wind and, for once, forgetting about pride or fear he turned in Roy's arms, snuggled up even closer, and leaned forward to kiss Roy again.

The second kiss was about as far from chaste as possible. Roy delved into Ed's mouth, strong tongue plunging past parted lips to explore the hot, moist territory. Tongues tangled and breathing quickened. By the time the kiss ended Roy had somehow unconsciously maneuvered Ed onto the ground beneath them with himself lying on top. Breaking off the impassioned kiss, Roy pulled back a bit and looked down at Ed. God, he was beautiful. His cheeks were flushed, his full lips rosy from kissing, his hair spread around like a golden halo, and his eyes, half-closed and unfocused with passion.

The mood was broken for Ed when Roy's face swam into view. That familiar face right above him…it was too dreadfully familiar. Envy! Suddenly Ed could feel cold marble beneath him and knew that the homunculus was laying on him, holding him down, trying to fool him again. Ed began to struggle.

Roy was so shocked at Ed's sudden struggles that he allowed the boy to push him off, scurrying to a back corner of the room and huddling into a tiny fearful ball. Roy stared at him in confused consternation. What had scared him so? Roy had done nothing overtly aggressive, and Ed didn't scare easy. He wouldn't have been surprised if Ed had yelled or hit him, but to run and hide? That wasn't like Ed at all.

"Ed? What is it?"

"…."

"Ed, what's wrong? Please, tell me…"

"How did we first meet?" came the hoarse whisper.

"What? What does that…"

"Just tell me if you know!"

"I'd gotten a letter that you and Al had sent out about your father. I responded in person, and arrived in Rizenbul not long after you tried to resurrect your mother. You were so small, Pinako and her granddaughter didn't think you were awake and aware, but I saw the spark in your eye…so I mentioned becoming a state alchemist and having access to research materials. Not long after, I got a call from you."

"How did we celebrate when I got my watch?"

"We didn't…I was busy on a serial killer case. Barry the chopper"

The tense shoulders slumped and the golden eyes lost their suspicious glare.

"I…I'm sorry. I had to be sure…that it is really you."

"Who else would it… Envy." Roy suddenly realized what Ed was afraid of. He was afraid that Envy managed to capture him and had tried to keep him off guard by acting like Roy.

"Yeah, Envy." Roy started at the hoarse, bitter tone and the accompanying laugh. He hadn't heard Ed sound so bitter since Al was restored.

"Envy. You know, all the months that I was there, in that cold place, waiting to be sacrificed…Envy was there everyday. At least I think it was every day. I kind of lost track of time after a while. He hurt me and enjoyed it. He made me wish for death. He r-raped me. He did it all the time! He shifted shape, you know, into others that I knew. Tricked me into thinking someone had come to rescue me. I knew it was him, after the first time, but I kept falling for it. I wanted someone to come so much! B-but they never did. Just the homunculi. And him. He was you a lot. He liked you. Or maybe he just knew that I liked you. Yeah, I had a crush on you. Pathetic, huh. And now, you kiss me and I can only see him. Why can I only see him!"

It was a kind of catharsis for Ed. He'd spoken with no one about the rapes and torture before. Not Al, not Roy, not Hughes, no one. He didn't want anyone to know. But it was killing him keeping it inside. He had to let it out, the grief, the rage. He had to! The words just flowed from him in a bitter brine tide, releasing long suppressed emotions. In the end Ed was left sitting there with tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. It was a moment of waiting for him. The next few minutes were more important than he could ever say. Roy's reaction was more important. If Roy couldn't look at him, couldn't accept him without disgust, then Ed would never be able to accept himself.

For his part, Roy was stunned. He'd never seen Ed so vulnerable. Even the first time they met, when Ed was still reeling from the failure to resurrect his mother, the loss of Al's body and his own arm and leg, there had still been a spark in Ed's eye. Ed's eyes were dull now, tarnished gold. Ed had been holding this inside for four years and Roy had never guessed. He would bet that even Al had no clue. Ed had been different after he was kidnapped by the homunculi, sure, but there was no indication at this depth of disturbance. The boy he'd admired so much was broken, hollow. While he spoke, Roy just sat there and listened. Then the moment came for Roy to act. He ignored his clever, well-honed mind which screamed a hundred different ways to respond and listened instead to his gut. He walked over to Ed and pulled the boy into his arms, burying his face into Ed's hair and making soothing sounds. It was as if a dam had broken down, and Ed began sobbing. He cried not like he had before, silent and tainted tears, but like a child. When adults cry, they try to hold back the sound, hold back the tears. They make muffled, gasping noises. When children cry, they hold nothing back. Every sob is a moan, a wail of pain. When children cry, the let themselves heal.

Outside the cave the world went on like it always does. The river thrashed in mindless power and passion, the birds preened and hunted and mated. Deer walked soundlessly even in the thickest of leaves and saw the world through large, liquid eyes, that saw no color but endless beauty nonetheless. Nature was beautiful and, as always, pitiless. Nature has been described before as cruel because she lacks pity, but she is not truly cruel. For her, the beauty is in the function, not the form. When function fails, beauty is lost and the failed part replaced. Rather than compassion, the beauty of nature lies in her adaptability. Nature knew no mercy or pity for Ed either. He would adapt and move on or he would fail and be forgotten. She could not compromise.

Time passed and the dusk had crept close when Ed woke in the cave for the second time that day. Rather than wake alone this time, he woke surrounded by warm arms and a masculine scent. He knew that scent. It was Roy. He pulled back just enough to look up and saw that his superior was dozing. Roy had held him until he cried himself to sleep Ed remembered, feeling how swollen his eyes were. It had been years since he cried. Sometimes he wondered if he had ever cried like that, if he'd ever had the capacity. Apparently he did.

Looking at Roy he smiled. The man was always there for him, when he could be. He was lovely in his sleep. Ed hated to use the word lovely because it sounded so girly, but handsome was too tame a word. Asleep, the weight of the world slipped off his shoulders and his face lost its smirking mask. Leaning up slowly, Ed brought his mouth to Roy's in a gentle kiss, enjoying the soft warm lips. After a moment, Roy began to return the kiss.

For Roy, it was a lovely way to be woken. A warm, slender weight in his arms and a velvet mouth on his. He slowly allowed his eyes to crack open, peeking through his lashes. To his surprise, he saw Ed. Then he remembered everything. He continued the kiss for a moment before pulling back and looking Ed in the eye. God, the boy was beautiful with his long golden hair, flushed cheeks, and passion-dazed eyes.

"Ed?"

"Kiss me, Roy. Don't stop."

"Are you sure?" Roy couldn't help but be worried.

"Yeah. I want to be with you. I want to forget him. I want to be clean again."

"Oh Ed," Roy said in a whisper, leaning forward to hug the boy, "You are clean. You've never been unclean."

The rest of the evening passed in a slow sensual melt. Mouths melted together, and Ed swore his spine melted as Roy kissed his way down his neck. Somewhere along the way they lost their clothes and before Ed knew it he was laying under Roy who was mouthing his nipple, suckling at it like it was succulent fruit. Ed gasped at the pleasure of it. He was hot and hard like he'd never been before. Roy's hands teased the insides of his thighs, but did not touch that aching part of Ed. Ed thought he'd die of the slow, delicious torment.

Roy was enamoured with the taste of Ed. He was like nothing Roy had tasted before and Roy quickly found himself becoming a connoisseur. He loved the little noises Ed made, mewling like a kitten and gasping for breath. Ed didn't even seem aware that he made them, and was writhing beneath him. Roy looked up and smiled to himself as he took in Ed's glazed, passionate look. Moving down he took into his mouth Ed's straining arousal as he prepared him.

Ed gasped at the sudden heat surrounding him, the moist tongue stroking him. He arched his back and tried to thrust up, but Roy's strong hands on his hips held him down. This was so much more than those few embarrassing moments he'd spent alone during painful adolescence, stroking himself. He felt himself nearing completion, but before he could go to heaven, Roy pulled back. Ed's breath caught. Roy was…magnificent. His eyes burned and his mouth was swollen and red.

"Ed…are you sure you want to go all the way? If I start, I won't be able to stop."

"Oh God, yes, please. Roy!"

Accepting Ed's enthusiastic response, Roy entered his warmth, almost painfully tight. Ed knew a moment or two of blinding pain, but then it was pushed away by pure, unadulterated pleasure. Roy was blinding flame and Ed a moth, happily immolating himself in ecstasy, and, for a few precious moments, the fire burned away all shame, anger, and fear, leaving Ed clean.

Gallactica7: I'm glad you like. I love FMA, Saiyuki, and Yaoi too (in case you haven't guessed!) I'll try to include more Saiyuki characters in the next few chapters, including Goku! Hope you keep reading.

Grasshopper: Yes, Envy lives! You'll see more of him in the future. I like twisted villains (especially cute, smart, smartass villains), and that's his role in this one!

I love Armstrong, he's so sweet!

They angsty characters rock. I love to read them, so I try to write them. It's a careful balance. They need to be angsty, but not whiny. Hope I'm pulling it off.

Glad you like the more mature Ed. I hope his character is coming across right!

I agree about Envy's clothes. Maybe I'll update them next time we meet him. Hmmm…Whatcha think?

Glad you're still reading, sorry for the long wait!

Climax: Yes, cliffhangers are wonderful things. Unless you have to wait forever for the next chapter. Sorry! I didn't mean for that to happen.

I see Roy as a kind of honorable fellow, a gentleman, despite his smirking. He's almost aristocratic. As for the RoyxRisa lovers…well, they probably won't be reading this fic anyway.

Sanzo's more pissed than unbelieving about the alchemy. After all, he and his travellers are pretty special, too. But he hates being kept in the dark! He's kinda a control freak.

The soldiers learned a valuable lesson about gossip. Hehe.

Glad you got the Ed-Hakkai connection. I think they'd make great friends.

I love Hughes, but you won't see him appearing in this fic until the end, if then. He would have wanted to go with Roy et al., but there's no way he would leave Gracia and Elysia behind, so he's safe back in Central.

The flashback in the last chapter is the most vulgar I have planned. Future flashbacks will still involve Ed torture, but it won't be so bad. Sorry about that. I thought about your other review when you mentioned the flashbacks were ichier than you'd like, but my muse told me to keep torturing Ed!

Good to hear from you again! Keep reading!

Terra89: I'm glad you love my story! That's always nice to hear.

I saw that episode not long after I wrote the last chapter, actually. It is hilarious. A fanfic about it would be neat. I've got it on tape now—I really should just by the DVDs, but I'm broke!

No, I haven't seen any Saiyuki anime, I have the manga. I want to by the DVDs, but, as before, I have no money! They actually have them at Best Buy, but I really can't afford them. (crying)

Gyokumen and Dante…both evil bitches. Love to hate them.

Sorry it took so long to update!

Anonymous: I'm glad you like! And I really like to hear that you think the characters are IC.

I'm glad Ed is coming across like I want him to. Some fic writers just writing him blowing up and screaming all the time. While Ed does have a bad temper, he's so much more than that and with a little more maturity its easy to see. The characters do connect well with their angst-fest. I'm glad the Hakkai-Ed thing works out as well as it does. To be honest, I wasn't planning on making them close at first. It just sort of happened and I liked it so I went with it. I do think they work well together. You'll see more of that and more Saiyuki in general in the future. I'm glad you like my characterizations so much!

Sorry for taking so long to update!

Azremodehar: Glad you like the basic concept. If that doesn't work, then the whole thing's out the window.

I respect your opinion, but I can't agree with the whole philosopher's stone thing. The whole point of FMA is that there are always consequences and you can't get anything for nothing. To even get the philosopher's stone you must make sacrifices…which is what Ed did. I'm going to explain more later about why the sacrifice was necissary, it'll be all philosophical.

I pondered for a while about what the sacrifice should be. I didn't want Ed to be incapacitated or truly crippled, but I felt that he needed to be vulnerable. And I don't feel this vulnerablity makes him weak. Weakness would be if he allowed his impaired health to stop him and make him less than he was before, but he hasn't. He still leads a full, challenging life. And he still kicks ass!

I know about the pretty boy thing…but I like bishies! And Ed does have muscles, but he's compact and slender and has a pretty face (love those eyes). A nice fusion of elegance and power (that makes him sound like a car, doesn't it).

I am very honored that, despite the fact that you disagree with some of the things I've done and my basic concept of Ed, you are still reading. That is about the most flattering thing I've heard in a while.

Inui's Bastard Love Child: Sorry this update took so long! I'll try to do better next time.

Hmm…Ed and Hakkai in a fight. Well, Ed's would want it to be physical because of his temper, but Hakkai would look for a peaceful solution (like cards). It's hard to say who would win. I imagine it would be a very, very long game. -

JMJV: Glad you like. Its good to here that the story makes sense. I've got a good deal of time passing in this story, so I didn't want it to drag on. Speeding over times when nothing is happening helps move it along, but I was worried that it might be confusing. I'm glad it's not!