Disclaimer- I wish I owned the Real Slim Shady. Oh well. I don't. A/N- You wanted Draco, and here he is! It was kind of hard, but I think I like it! I hope you like it! R/R! The Real Slim Shady- Eminem The Real Draco Malfoy- Draco Malfoy
May I have your attention please?

May I have your attention please?

Will the real Draco Malfoy please stand up?

I repeat, will the real Draco Malfoy please stand up?

We're gonna have a problem here..

Y'all act like you never seen a Slytherin before

Jaws all on the floor like Snape or Tom Riddle just burst in the door

and started cursing the Mudbloods worse than before

took them all by force, yelling Avada Kedavra (Ahh!)

It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,

he didn't just kill who I think he did, did he?"

And Harry Potter said... nothing you idiots!

Harry Potter's dead, he's locked in the secret Chamber! (Ha-ha!)

Pureblood women love Draco M {*vocal turntable:

chigga chigga chigga*} "Sirius Black, I'm sick of him

Look at him, walkin' around holdin his werewolf friend

Stand and fight till the end," "Yeah, Malfoy's so much cuter!"

Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose

But no worse, than what's goin' on in my father's bedrooms

Sometimes, I wanna get on my broom and win the game, but can't

but it's cool for Ron Weasley to try and taste fame

"My wand's ready to curse, my wand's ready to curse"

And if I'm lucky, I'll make Potter's scar hurt worse

And that's the message that we deliver to wizard kids

And expect them not to know what a stupid Mudblood is

Of course they'll know what the Killing Curse is

And they're gonna be afraid

They go to Hogwarts with me don't they?

"We ain't nothing but Death Eaters.." Hanging out at parties at
Peter's

who curse other people up without an antidote

But if we can strut around and dye our hair and gloat

then there's no reason that Crabbe and Goyle, that they can't elope

{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, come and help me promote

Slytherins show up our foes, Gryffindors here's how it goes

I'm Draco Malfoy, yes I'm the real Malfoy

All you other damn Malfoys are just imitating

So won't the real Draco please stand up,

please stand up, please stand up?

Professor Snape don't gotta swear at Mudbloods to be respected;

well I do, so forget him and forget you too!

You think I give a damn about Dumbledore?

Half of my teachers can hardly stand me, which I ignore

"But what if Slytherins won the cup, wouldn't it be weird?"

That'd never happen, Dumbledore would've interfered!

So you can, sit me here next to Goyle and Crabbe?

And watch Potter get adored because of that damn scab

I'd rather sit next to Granger and Weasley

and watch 'em argue about Sirius Black bein' free

That blood traitor thinks he's cuter than me

"He may be cute, but I think he married Lupin, hee-hee!"

I bet that I could make the whole world see

the real reason for the Whomping Willow tree{*AHHH!*}

I'm sick of you little Gryffindor poofs, all you do is annoy me

so my father sent me to destroy you {*bzzzt*}

And there's a million Slytherins like me

who jinx like me; who think Oliver Wood stinks like me

who worship me; walk, talk and act like me

and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

Cuz I'm Draco Malfoy, yes I'm the real Malfoy

All you other damn Malfoys are just imitating

So won't the real Draco please stand up,

please stand up, please stand up?

Some people think I'm hard to listen to, cause I'm only tellin' you

things Rita Skeeter writes in the Daily Prophet about you

The only difference is that I'm rich enough to yell it

to everyone and I don't gotta pretend like I don't like to make fun

I just ride my broom and play hard

and I can win whether or not my forehead is scarred

hotter than ninety percent of Slytherins out there

Then you wonder how can Hogwarts wanna kick my @$$

It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin seventh year

I'll be the only student wearing Death Eater gear

Cursin' some Gryffindor while I'm off trying to score

And I'm laughing 'bout how Voldemort is gonna win the war

And every single person is a Slytherin lurkin

He could be workin' the Three Broomsticks, practicing for playing
tricks

{*HACH*} Or at the Quidditch pitch, flyin' 'round

Singing "Weasley is our King!"

Broomstick high above the ground as he's circling

So, will the real Draco please stand up?

And hold the wand in each hand up?

And be proud to be reading the minds and in control

and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Draco Malfoy, yes I'm the real Malfoy

All you other damn Malfoys are just imitating

So won't the real Draco please stand up,

please stand up, please stand up?

I'm Draco Malfoy, yes I'm the real Malfoy

All you other damn Malfoys are just imitating

So won't the real Draco please stand up,

please stand up, please stand up?

Ha ha

Guess there's a Draco Malfoy in all of us

Forget it, let's all stand up