Disclaimer: I borrowed names, places, etc. from Ms. J.K. Rowling to serve as a medium for my dementia. I have taken great (very, very great) liberties with her work, and if such offends, I suggest you leave.
Warning: What you are about to read comes from a deranged mind with a love for J.K. Rowling's books and a distinct inability to take anyone or anything (including herself) seriously, except under the influence of certain controlled substances which serve to shove her rudely into reality. Said substances were not used in the making of this fan fic.
xoxoxoxo
Ron entered the prefect common room to see Harry sitting quietly, staring blankly at the fireplace. He walked over to the boy-who-lived and waved his hand in front of his eyes. "Hello? Anyone home?"
Harry shook his head to clear his thought and smiled up at his best friend. "Hey," he greeted. He then noticed the magazine clutched in Ron's hand. "What's that?"
Ron shrugged and held it out. "The Quibbler. I guess Loony is planning to be a journalist someday." He pointed at the cover which boasted a special article concerning the Hogwarts green houses, written by none other than Luna Lovegood.
Harry took the magazine from Ron. "Is it any good?" he asked, though he already knew it would be marvelous.
"Maybe. I skimmed the first paragraph, couldn't make any sense of it, and gave it up. Thought I might give it to Ginny; she and Mione are friends with Lovegood."
"I'll make sure she gets it," Harry lied. He stood. "I have to go, I'll be back later." He walked swiftly out the door before Ron could stop him.
"See ya later, then, mate," he said, faintly surprised.
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Blaise turned a sharp corner, and plowed straight into Draco who was still loitering outside the Gryffindor common room. The boys collapsed in a tangled heap on the floor, just as Hermione and Ginny came through the portrait hole.
"Hey, look, Hermione; you were right. They are lovers." The girls laughed and went off down the corridor, Hermione's left hand clasping Ginny's and her right clutching a handful of ancient jelly beans.
Blaise disentangled himself for Draco with remarkable speed. "We're not, I swear!" he called after Hermione desperately.
"We might be," Draco yelled. "Would it help my situation any?"
"NO!"
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Harry leaned against the cold stone of the castle walls, reading Luna's article as though his life depended on it. Apparently, Professor Sprout had been working on some hybrid plants that could potentially be dangerous. This was all part of a conspiracy to remove the minister from office and put a niffler in his place.
Rather than scoff at the nonsense, Harry simply smiled fondly. Such a fanciful girl. Really quite endearing, it was.
He sat up straight as he read the last paragraph.
"…point to no other conclusion; however, solid evidence of the plant in question, believed to have large, heart-shaped leaves and tiny, deep purple blossoms, has yet to be procured. Experiments are suspected to be taking place in Hogwarts Greenhouse Thirteen, where, conveniently, no students are allowed. This writer has every intention…"
So she needed the flower. This was perfect. This was exactly what Ginny was talking about. Harry grabbed the Quibbler and ran inside, already planning a late night visit to Greenhouse Thirteen.
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"Ah, Hermione; you turned him down so fast, so thoughtlessly," admonished Ginny the moment they were out of earshot.
Hermione dropped the redhead's hand. "I know exactly where this is going, and I do not want to think about it."
"And so unwilling to try new things."
"Ginny, I'm trying to eat." She raised her hand, which still held an assortment of jelly beans.
Ginny snorted in derision. "Those stopped qualifying as food last summer. Some may argue that they never did."
"Sugar doesn't rot," Hermione haughtily informed her. "And speaking of sugar, we're going to Hogsmeade tomorrow, yes?"
"I have to meet with McGonagall in the morning, but it shouldn't take long. I'll meet you in Honeydukes at eleven?"
Hermione popped a few candies in her mouth. "Sure."
"By the way, I'm buying you fresh jelly beans while we're there."
The older girl looked affronted. "These are perfectly good! Plus I still have a bag from this past Easter."
"And I'm throwing those out."
Knowing she had lost, Hermione pouted. "Fine. Can I borrow your green miniskirt, to sooth my pain over this monumental loss?"
"Just don't tell Ron it's mine."
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Blaise roughly shoved Draco's arm from its position around his shoulders. "Never touch me again." He was shaking slightly.
Draco blinked in confusion. "Dude, I was joking. Relax."
"Joking. Joking…" Blaise tried to calm himself.
"So, anyway," Draco began, still looking at Blaise like he had sprouted a tail, started playing jump rope with it, and singing "I'm a Little Teapot". "We going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?"
"Yes, we're going. Well, not us. I mean, yes, us, but not us us. As in not together. We're going together, but not together. Because I'm not- I don't- I…" Blaise felt horribly confused and stressed to near breaking point.
"Oooookay…" Draco backed away slowly. "You really ought to go back to the infirmary. I'll see you …later…or something…." He turned and ran.
"Damn you, Hermione, you evil, wicked, diabolical, intoxicating, gorgeous, intelligent…" He shook his head. "Yeah, I'm losing it." He headed back to the hospital wing.
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Ze next day…
"Hand them over!"
"No!"
"NOW!"
"I shall never relinquish my beloved jelly beans! I'll have you know these have been aged to absolute perfection!"
"Hermione, that's disgusting. Now give them here." Ginny lunged at her friend in an attempt to tear the candy from her grasp.
"Never!" Hermione leaped over a sofa and crouched defensively behind the red monstrosity.
The girls had been in the prefect common room arguing over this for more than an hour, and Ginny was going to be late for her meeting. "I give up!" she surrendered, throwing her hands in the air. "You win - for now. I'll be back." She swept dramatically from the room.
Hermione eyed the door suspiciously, as though the redhead might suddenly burst back through it, demanding her precious jelly beans, but five minutes passed and the room was still silent. She climbed the her feet, stuffed the bag of candy in her robes, and headed off for the Gryffindor dorms, more specifically, Ginny's room, where she could rummage through the younger girl's clothing and eat her jelly beans undisturbed.
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Harry staggered into the castle, clothes rumpled, and hair even more mussed than usual with twigs and leaves stuck in it. He looked as though he had just done battle with a whomping willow, complete with the obligatory scrapes and bruises. He was grinning though, and had something green and purple clutched in his dirty hand.
He climbed several stories up to the Ravenclaw common room entrance and waited. Within moments, a member of the house exited, and Harry requested an audience with a certain blonde girl. A couple minutes later, Luna came out, looked mildly confused.
"You wanted to see me?" she asked politely.
In response, he held out the object in his hand: a flower with tiny clusters of leaves and large, deep purple, heart-shaped petals. "From Greenhouse Thirteen."
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Blaise dreamily wandered from the hospital wing, blissfully doped up on all sorts of stress-relief, anti-anxiety potions, and feeling much the way he suspected Luna Lovegood must - not really all there.
It was very, very nice.
He had been instructed to go straight to his dormitory and spend the day resting, but he saw that Weasely girl and his health was forgotten. Forget resting, he was going to find Hermione and win her back - er, win her over, rather, seeing as he had never won her in the first place. Meaning he hadn't really lost her. Meaning he had her? No, that wasn't right. Wait, what was the question? And where was he going again? His mind slowly trudged back. Right. Hermione. Gryffindor. Ugly portrait. Cheese. What?
Blaise shook his head in befuddlement. Perhaps he should lie down for a bit before hunting down squirrels. Er, Gryffindors. Something like that.
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Fiona McKinnon: Thanks! And that actually makes sense - People And Monkeys Sing. I think to say that a fic inspired such would be a glorious compliment. But then, my sanity has always been questionable at best.
Fire Sorcerer: Thank you! Hopefully I will keep writing this, but in two weeks those deplorable controlled substances will again be shoved down my throat, and I will again become the irritable bookworm that teachers find so charming. So which ones do you take? As far as Luna goes, I never bought the whole Loony thing - she is a Ravenclaw, there's got to be more to it.
the girl trapped in a dream: Thanks. I'm trying to get in as much as I can before school starts, because then I'll never write.
Kichou: Yup, Blaise knows. And Draco, well, yeah. But these things happen.
Queen Tigress: Thank you very much!
ilovetom88: Thanks xD Again, I very much believe that Luna is more clever than she may first seem.
Excuse Me Mr. Mister: Didn't think so. Glad I made you laugh, though.
Phaerie: Thanks. Here's the update xD
Thank you to everyone else who read, has me on their alert and/or favorites list, but did not review (I know who you are oo)
The next chappy is in the making, and should be up this weekend, if not, then next. Next week I have to take a drivers ed course, from 9-3 M-F (all study for the written exam, which is pretty stupid in my opinion, but the insurance company will give me a discount if I take it, so what the hell) so don't expect too much during that time.
Take care, y'all; see ya next chapter!
