Disclaimer: I borrowed names, places, etc. from Ms. J.K. Rowling to serve as a medium for my dementia. I have taken great (very, very great) liberties with her work, and if such offends, I suggest you leave.
Warning: What you are about to read comes from a deranged mind with a love for J.K. Rowling's books and a distinct inability to take anyone or anything (including herself) seriously, except under the influence of certain controlled substances which serve to shove her rudely into reality. Said substances were not used in the making of this fan fic.
xoxoxoxo
Luna stared at the flowers for a moment. "Greenhouse Thirteen?" she echoed.
Harry suddenly felt somewhat foolish. "I, um, your article, I-" he fumbled in his pocket a moment and produced the latest issue of the Quibbler. "I read that you needed the flower, so I, uh, went and got it for you…" he trailed off, looking at her helplessly.
"You went to Greenhouse Thirteen?" Her brow furrowed in befuddlement.
"Er, well, yeah," he replied sheepishly, not feeling quite as brave as he had when he'd arrived.
"But, Harry, that's impossible!"
Harry blinked. "Huh?"
She sighed. "The real Greenhouse Thirteen only appears on nights of a three-quarter moon. It's invisible the rest of the time," she explained, as though speaking to a very small child. "And even then, it's guarded by Swedish Molleydops with fluorescent pink tails that blind one instantly."
"Molleydops…" he said slowly.
"Yes," she confirmed. "So even if you could see it, well, then you couldn't see it." She paused. "And the hybrids that I wrote about have small flowers and large leaves - not the other way around," she told him bluntly.
"Oh." He looked positively crushed.
"But it was a very nice thought. And these are quite lovely," she added, patting him on the arm.
He cheered slightly. "You really like them?"
She smiled up at him as though it were the greatest gift she had ever received. "Quite frankly, they make me want to vomit," she informed him reassuringly. Her angelic smile made his stomach leap to his throat, but her words caused his heart to plummet. The two organs collided violently in his chest, and the pain from his injuries returned to Harry with a vengeance. He needed to lie down, which, to his own amazement, but not Luna's, he did.
"Not to mention," she continued, smiling in that same eerie fashion at his prone figure sprawled across the floor, "there are some small side effects that can occur when handling them. You should hurry to the hospital wing before you turn into a giant pink chicken."
He stared at her for about 4 seconds before bursting into fluorescent feather.
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Draco strolled towards the main castle doors, whistling tunelessly. He was just thinking how cool he looked cruising along the corridor when he tripped gracelessly on something large and crashed on top of it. Realizing it was a person, and his best friend at that, he scrambled to his feet.
Blaise had assumed a fetal position and was whimpering pathetically. He knew what this meant. He had read Millicent and Pansy's romance novels (not that he would ever admit it), about couples crashing into each other everywhere. This was indeed very, very bad.
Draco blinked in surprise at a mighty Slytherin reduced to this. There was only one thing to do: be a true friend, and give Blaise caring sympathy in the traditional male fashion.
"Oh, quit whining and get up." Draco gave Blaise a good kick. "Wuss," he sneered.
Blaise reluctantly pulled himself to his feet, if only to prove that he was not, in fact, a wuss.
"That's the spirit." Draco clapped his friend heartily on the back. Blaise, not fully recovered, stumbled slightly at the blow. Draco pushed his friend toward the doors, holding an incessant one-sided conversation all the way.
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Ginny stood impatiently outside Honeydukes, glaring at anyone foolish enough to look her way. She spared a glance to the small watch pinned to her blouse. 11:14. Where the hell was Hermione?
Two minutes and forty-four seconds later the brunette ambled up the path towards Ginny, slowly, like she had hours and there was not an angry redhead waiting for her. Said brunette was wearing a black zippered hoodie, white spaghetti-strapped top, dark green pleated miniskirt, and mismatched sneakers, all of which looked very familiar to Ginny.
"Hermione! There you are! You're nearly twenty minutes late!" She paused and eyed the girl's attire. "And you're wearing my clothes!"
The older girl waved an unconcerned hand. "What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine. And it's actually closer to fifteen minutes."
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Right. Anywho, let's go in; we're buying you fresh jelly beans."
Hermione sighed and trudged in reluctantly after her friend. At least she looked nice.
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"Why are we here again?" Blaise was still slightly incapacitated, and had difficultly remembering anything that occurred more than around 5 minutes prior.
So naturally when he realized that he was in a ladies' beauty shop with Draco, he became quite concerned.
Draco sighed impatiently and hit his friend upside the head. "We're here to buy gifts to charm those bloody hard-to-get Gryffindors."
"You can't just buy love, Malfoy," Blaise grumped, rubbing his injured cranium. "It doesn't work that way."
Draco stopped and turned around. "It doesn't?" he asked in utter bafflement.
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Hermione sighed in relief a she ducked out of Honeydukes. She peered through the window to ensure Ginny was still preoccupied with arguing with a cashier. The redhead was gesticulating wildly and evidently remained quite unaware of Hermione's absence.
Hermione turned and strolled casually away, but swiftly, lest the redhead realize she was missing sooner than anticipated. Just outside Madame B's Beauty, she noticed in the reflection of a shop window that Ginny was headed her way, though hadn't yet spotted her. She moved to enter the cosmetics shop, but then saw her two least favorite Slytherins in the window. After a quick about-face, she darted into a store across the street.
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"Say, isn't that Hermione?" Blaise pointed.
Draco looked up from rummaging through a display of brightly colored cosmetics. "Hm? Oh. Nah, couldn't be. Granger's too smart to go into a place like that."
"If you say so," Blaise answered skeptically, staring at the shop.
"Hey, Zabini," said Draco, taking full advantage of his friend's absentmindedness. He held up two lipsticks in different shades of rose. "Which do you think is more my color, champagne or dusk?"
Blaise shook his head in a futile attempt to clear his mind. He examined the colors for a moment before selecting another. "I think sunrise is more your shade."
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Hermione watched as Ginny walked right by, unaware of her presence. Safe, Hermione took the opportunity to have a look at her surroundings. She was in a jewelry shop, a rather dark and dusty one, at that. The place was quiet and empty, and she wondered if it had had any customers within the past decade.
As she surveyed the store, her gaze was suddenly drawn to a tall display case. She wandered over, and was mildly surprised to find it held only one item: A simple silver necklace resting on a forest green pillow, which seemed to be the only clean thing in the shop. On a delicate chain was a lovely charm, a circle encasing a five pointed star, with a snake entwined in the two shapes. Two tiny, sparkling emeralds made up the snakes eyes. Hermione recalled seeing something similar in the Muggle world but she could not recall where. She felt a strange sort of power radiating from it.
"Amazing," she murmured, transfixed by it for inexplicable reasons. Her brown eyes began to glow an electric green, brighter and brighter, as she stood, captivated by the tiny green stones.
"Can I help you, miss?"
Hermione jumped as the shopkeeper entered the room, and her eyes reverted to their natural color.
"Oh, um, yes. Uh, how much is this necklace?"
"Ten Galleons, miss."
"I guess I'll take it then." Hermione pulled out her purse and counted out ten of the gold pieces. Suddenly, she had a powerful urge, telling her no, run, NOW. Another feeling overrode the first, telling her she must have it. Hesitating for only a moment, she gave in to the second impulse, and handed the woman her money. The witch pulled out a tiny gold key and crossed over to the case. She removed the necklace, carried it over to the counter, and began to wrap it in tissue paper.
"NO!"
The woman dropped the necklace in surprise. "Beg pardon?" she asked uneasily.
Hermione flushed. "Um, I mean, I'll just, you know, um, wear it out, and, um, take it, and, um, yeah," she stuttered.
The woman shrugged and handed her the silver piece.
"Thank you." Hermione tried not to bolt from the shop, walking stiffly to the door. Once outside, she felt considerably better.
She opened her hand to get a better look at the necklace resting in her palm. It really was quite pretty. Her eyes again began to glow.
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Harry shuffled out of the hospital wing, feeling quite embarrassed. The leaves and twigs that he previously occupied his clothes were now accompanied by several large, pink feathers. His feeling of utter humiliation increased tenfold when he spotted Luna and Ron waiting for him patiently outside the hospital wing.
Ron, having missed everything but seeing Harry in pink poultry form enter, had a look of absolute confusion. The expression was much like his sneer, and Harry idly wondered if his friend was getting enough fiber - due to being mentally out of town, he was unaware that Malfoy had suggested something similar the day prior.
Luna, on the other hand, maintained a face of complete serenity, as she nearly always did. It was a well practiced look, and necessary to protect herself from, well, she wasn't entirely sure. But she did feel safer when she wore it. Emotion was a troublesome thing, and if she pretended she didn't have it, perhaps it could not hurt her.
Unfortunately, all bets were off when a certain black haired boy was concerned.
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Hermione's vision began to blur, then swirl into an indistinct grey. She could nearly make out the shapes it was forming. Just a bit more…
"Hermione!" Ginny's voice crashed through her consciousness like a NASA probe into the Utah desert. Her eyes quickly snapped back to brown and resumed processing images normally.
"Oh, uh, hi, Ginny," she replied, still somewhat disoriented.
"Are you alright? You look like you just walked in on Dobby and Winky fornicating in McGonagall's knickers."
Hermione wrinkled her nose. "Gin, that's disgusting. I don't know what you fantasize about, but please, keep it to yourself."
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ilovetom88: Thank you! Draco's character is fun to write, so I'm glad you like him!
Fire Sorcerer: Ah, how cruel of them. Um, the jelly bean thing…well, my brother actually said the original thing about them lasting a year, and since his oddities are a constant in my life, I thought they should be in my story as well. As for Blaise, I'm starting to feel a little guilty that his mental stability was challenged so early in the game, so he hasn't been entirely conscious yet in the story. I accept the compliments and love, yet I mourn the loss of the cookies. Thank you though xD
Queen Tigress: Glad you like. Sorry this chappy isn't as amusing, but I thought I should prolly get going with the whole "plot" thing.
Sapphire Dragons: I'll take that as a compliment and just say thanks.
Kichou: Thank you. Trying to decide if I should keep him in that state, or maybe let him sober up in the next chapter. We'll have to see.
Fiona McKinnon: Thanks. Should I translate that as People And Monkeys Sing, or Please Add More Soon? We've reached a point where you'll have to specify. Regardless of singing, more is added. Hope you enjoyed. And, yeah, they know about Hermione's piercing, but not Ginny's. As her brother, Ron has a bit more influence so hers must remain a secret.
Excuse me Mr. Mister: Threesome? I dunno, I don't really like playing golf that way (of course, I really don't like playing golf in any way) - it means someone has to drive a cart by themselves : ( Poor, lonely person.
