A/N: Okay, well to start off with…I have a few shout outs…
BrSoccerChic – Thank you very much for your review! Yeah, this is a kind of hard fic to right. But I really feel good about it! Well, I'm glad you're reading!
Emogeek1 – Thanks a bunch!
xOPrincessSparklexO – Thanks Laura! I'll try to update consistently! Lol. Thanks!
kursk – Thanks for the review! Yup, I'm not really sure how I'm going to make things with R/M. But, thanks for reviewing and I'll try to update asap!
Myhubbyisob – Thanks! Lol. Yeah, next chapter I'm going to make Seth go visit Ryan in the hospital. So theres a Ryan scene! Lol.
J – Thanks a heap!
Well, thats all for shout outs! I hope yo like this chapter! Please R&R. Thanks!
Chapter 2
Take Me Away
Marissa's eyes slowly opened when she heard the buzzing of her alarm clock. She sighed reaching her arm over and shutting the alarm off. She lay there for a few minutes. She didn't want to go to school. It wouldn't be the same…Or feel right, without him there. She wished she could just spend her whole day in the hospital…With Ryan. But she couldn't, because she knew it'd be wrong. It was her fault he got in the accident in the first place. So why would she want to be the first thing he saw when he woke up? IF he woke up. It wounded her to think these sorts of things. But she knew she had too…That they could be true. She looked down at her tear stained pillow and then sat up. She walked toward her dresser grabbing some clothes from it. It was time to go back to hell and face reality.
Summer walked into school wearing a white jean mini skirt and dark pink spaghetti strap tank top. She searched around the crowded halls for Seth or Marissa but there was no sight of them. She figured she'd head to her locker then try looking for her friends afterwards. She knew the two of them were probably heart broken over what had happened to Ryan. But, she didn't blame them. What had happened was awful. She tried hard to erase it from her mind…Vanish it from her thoughts. But it was hard too.
Seth walked into school…It just felt so weird. This whole morning had. He woke up and ate breakfast alone…Then headed off to school, again all alone. It sucked being alone. Without his best friend…Yeah, he had been in this situation before, before Ryan came. But this time was different…Now that he had the experience of actually having best friend and then loosing that felt dreadful. And there was nothing he could do to help Ryan at all. Not one thing. He walked toward his locker and opened it.
Summer saw Seth and immediately trotted over toward him. "Hey." She said quietly toward him, a small smile on her face…It was hard to smile. But she figured that she needed to put on a brave face for him sense she cared. "Are you okay?" She asked concerned, she tried to make eye contact with him but it seemed like he was trying to avoid her gaze.
Seth heard the sound of a familiar voice. He recognized the voice as Summer's...And hearing her voice actually made him feel a little better. "Hey." He said barely audible. This was the first thing he's said in a while…He just felt so down lately. Most of his time was spent by Ryan's side in the hospital. He felt that's where he needed to be…By his friend's side. "I'm okay…" He answered; again quiet as he retrieved a few text books from his locker.
Summer bit her lip. It pained her to see Seth like this. She had never ever seen him like this before. Except for when Ryan was going to take off for Chino to help Theresa with the baby…But even that wasn't as bad as he had been acting today. He hadn't smiled once…Not one sarcastic remark…And to top it all off he would barely even look at her. She wished that none of them had ever gone to that party that night. Then Ryan would be okay and Marissa would be happy…And Seth would be geeky and sarcastic like he usually was. "Do you maybe wanna get out of here? Go visit Ryan at the hospital?" She suggested, trying to be helpful and relieve the quiet tension between the two of them.
Before Seth could answer Summer's question Marissa had already made her way toward them. She was wearing a black long sleeved shirt along with long denim jeans with a pair of black flats on her feet. She looked terrible like she hasn't slept in weeks. Her eyes were blood shot red and there wasn't one touch of make-up on her face. Her hair was down spreading across her shoulders. She approached the two of them with a hushed 'Hi'.
Summer looked toward Marissa "Hey Coop." She answered. "How are you holding up? Any better then yesterday?" She asked remembering all the crying that Marissa was doing when the paramedics brought Ryan into the hospital. She could remember his face perfectly. There was a big wound on the side of his head that was bleeding incessantly. She didn't think it would ever stop. There was also a great deal of cuts ubiquitously on his face and arms, even neck. Almost his whole face was covered in blood…You could barely even tell it was Ryan. For once…Summer Roberts was actually scared…And for Ryan…
Marissa shrugged her shoulders. She couldn't even answer that question…It brought back to many memories of last night. Too many memories that would cause her to cry, again and she just couldn't go through that right now, because she knew if she began crying again…She probably wouldn't be able to stop. "I'm better…Then yesterday." She said softly.
Seth could barely even look at Marissa…A part of him new that it was Marissa's fault that Ryan was in the accident in the first place. "Yeah...Summer, uh. I think it'd be a good idea if we did go to the hospital. I mean, seeing Ryan would probably be a good thing. So, let's go." He answered her a little rushed.
Summer nodded to Marissa's response before turning her attention over to Seth who had just spoken to her. "Okay." She answered, up for doing anything he had wanted to do. She looked toward Marissa. "Coop…You should come. Seeing Ryan would probably be good for you." She suggested trying to help…
Marissa shook her head violently. "No…I…I really can't." She answered miserably. She hoped that Summer had understood why she had turned down the opportunity…It was just hard to see Ryan laying there, unconscious…Knowing that he might not ever wake up again. Knowing that she was part of the reason that put him in this position in the first place.
Summer new how Marissa felt, she understood…But she wasn't going to give up there. "Coop…" She started. "I get that your upset, but, you really should go see Ryan. I jus-" Summer was just then cut off by an angry Seth.
Seth tried to stay calm but he couldn't help himself. "Summer, just forget it, okay? Marissa's probably the last person Ryan wants to see. The last person any of us want to see for that matter." He blew up, he couldn't help himself. It was true…If Marissa hadn't gotten drunk; as always Ryan would have been fine…
Summer immediately shot a glare toward Seth…A surprised glare at that. "Cohen, this isn't Marissa's fault. It was an ac-" She was then cut off again, by Seth.
"No, Summer. Don't say it was an accident. If Marissa hadn't gotten drunk in the first place like she always does Ryan would be fine! Maybe if it would just be best if Marissa stayed away from him all together. I mean, Ryan's my best friend…" He said, now directing his attention toward Marissa. "And he really doesn't need you dragging him into your messed up life. He doesn't deserve that…I mean, he really believed that you stopped with the alcohol, and look what you do. You go behind his back and drink anyway. He trusted you Marissa…And look where that got him…A coma. So why don't you just do us all a favor and back off." He said angrily toward her. He looked toward Summer. Then he turned starting out of school and toward the range rover. He needed to get out of here…He had to go see Ryan.
Summer hung onto every word Seth had to say. She was for once in her life…Speechless. After Seth had just gone she looked toward Marissa. "Hey, Coop. Don't listen to him. He didn't mean it...He's just upset, we all are. But everything will be fine…Really. Lets just go see Ryan, okay?" She said hopefully.
Marissa remained quiet throughout Seth's whole speech; she couldn't answer…Because part of her…New Seth was right. She watched as Seth angrily walked out of the school building…She looked toward Summer and simply shook her head. "No…I just…I gotta go." She phrased simply…She gave Summer a weak smile and then headed out of the school building…Starting for her car. After she had gotten in she speeded down the street…Speeded back home. She couldn't deal with school…At least not yet.
Marissa pulled into her driveway quickly exiting her car slamming the door after her. She ran inside, finding the house to be empty. Which she was happy about…She couldn't deal with her mom and her annoying questions. She ran up to her room and sat down on her bed, staring hard at the wall for her a few minutes. She fell back on her bed, sobbing into her pillow…All she could think about was how right Seth was…And how much this was all her fault that Ryan could die. It made her furious that she actually did something like this…She rose from her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks.
She ran toward the bathroom shutting the door and locking it behind her. She opened her medicine cabinet finding a shaver inside; she removed the blade from it and bit her lip, holding it in the palm of her hand. She looked up at her reflection in the mirror that made her cry even more. She backed into the wall…Sliding down into a sitting position. She pulled her sleeve up, revealing two old cuts that she had made when she had gotten back from the hospital. She put the blade to her skin, dragging it across her flesh, causing a new born cut to appear. She watched as she blood drained from her body. She sobbed as she made another one. She sobbed aloud as she grabbed a towel holding it to her wounds; she lay down on the cold tile. Staring up at the ceiling as she pressed the towel to her flesh. She sobbed. She wanted things to go back to normal…She just wanted someone to take her away…Free her from this thing people like to call life. Because she couldn't take it…Not anymore.
A/N: Well, that was the 2nd chapter! Yes, I made Seth take a stand toward Marissa. And Marissa is using cutting to try to escape her problems. Oh, and she started the cutting after she had gotten back from the hospital the night Ryan had gotten into an accident! Well, now that you've read this chapter…Go review and tell me what you think!
