Title: "About Glass Cups - Chap 2: Who Will?"
Author: J.J.
Warning: It's an AU BASED ON THE MANGA, unbetaed, some use of Japanese words (the Dictionary is at the bottom), a bit of sappiness...
Notes: This is a random idea or better a random series of ideas that had been haunting me... and that I really like to develop...
Warning over notes: This fic has notes. You will find them at the bottom. Each time you see a number between brackets it means there's a note connected to the word/sentence that preceded it. However I suggest you to read the notes AFTER you finished the fic unless the word/sentence connected to the note is really troublesome for you to understand. Anyway the fic should be still understandable without the notes. Notes are merely extra explanations for who wants to know more.
Disclaimer:
"Tokyo Babylon" & "X" belong to Clamp. I'm merely using their characters because I love them... especially Seishiro and Subaru... -
Ehy, Do I own something here? Oh yes, I own the plot and a sensible heart which would surely break if you give me harsh reviews... so please be honest but nice ok?
Summary: AU Version of the Rainbow Bridge incident...
"It doesn't matter if it's just a glass cup, if it's the only one you have it's precious to you."


"In the forest, is a monster
It has done terrible things
So in the wood, it's hiding
And this is the song it sings

Who will love me now?
Who will ever love me?
Who will say to me
"You are my desire, I set you free?"

(Who will love me now?)

Who will forgive and make me live again?
Who will bring me back to the world again?"
(Pj Harvey - "Who Will Love Me Now")


'After you die, Subaru-kun will be very upset.'

'Yes... but... I... I hope that Subaru can live on... I know doing this is very selfish... my death will make Subaru rather be dead than alive, even so... I still want him to live, this... count this as my selfishness... even so... I still wish... for you and Subaru to live... '

'Why am I included? I hurt Subaru-kun, and killed you!'

'Yes... that's true... but... I... still don't want... you to die. Even if you are a villain... a murderer... I still... like you a lot... The only one who can kill you is Subaru, and the only one who can kill Subaru... is you... so I used my last strength to set a curse, if you... ever want to use the same method you used to kill me... to kill Subaru... it will reflect in full strength... onto yourself...'

'Why do you tell me what you have sacrificed your life to do?'

'If I don't say it... then it would be meaningless... in the end... I let me believe... that you won't use your spell... '

'I'm not a man worth your trust.'

'I know... but... Subaru... he believes that you are special, so I want to have faith in you... Don't forget... in this world there are indeed sins that cannot be repented... but there is no one who cannot love... Sei-chan...'(1)


Hokuto-chan's last words were echoing in his head as he stared at the remaining of Rainbow Bridge. With that bridge his Wish had been destroyed as well. He wondered what he was supposed to do with the rest of his life. He absently noticed the boy coming closer.

"Why?" he asked simply. Why had he dragged him out of that mess, why had he saved him, why had he stopped him from dying with Subaru-kun while the bridge he destroyed was crumbling.

"Subaru Wished for you to live. He Wished it so much he gave his life for this Wish. I understand him. I would also do the same," the Ten no Ryu's Kamui answered. His voice was strained as he was trying to not start crying again.

"Who cares about what Subaru-kun had Wished? He's dead now. Why did Subaru-kun's new boyfriend save the life of the man who hurt and murdered him?" he asked tonelessly. He would have never done it.

"I'm not Subaru's boyfriend. In Subaru's heart there was space for no one else but you. You were 'his special person', the one for whom he could raise a Kekkai. You were his first thought as he got up and his last before he fell asleep. He could think of no one else."(2)

Odd. He should have found it pleasing. At the moment it felt more like having his skin being scratched by sandpaper. He had wanted to own Subaru-kun, to own him totally, mind, body and soul but the thought he managed to do it gave him no satisfaction now that Subaru-kun was no more. For once he was feeling completely empty.

He had spent his life waiting for someone who would made true his mother's prediction and yet...


'Now you are the Sakurazukamori. The next Sakurazukamori will be the one who kills you.'

'So shall I be killed as well?'

'Yes... by the one you love most.'(3)


He hadn't believed himself capable to love however, when he had met Subaru-kun he... he had felt the pull, something that had dragged him close to that little, innocent kid. Years later, during the bet, he had been sure he didn't love Subaru-kun. He'd been surprised to discover that he had developed for him a strong sense of possession but to wish to own someone wasn't the same as loving him. He'd been shocked however when he found out he couldn't kill the boy. He didn't love him but Subaru-kun was the only one he couldn't kill. The mere thought that the Sakurazukamori couldn't finish his work was disgusting. Really disgusting. Did that mean that it was Subaru-kun the one destined to kill him? But Subaru-kun didn't even acknowledge his presence back then, just stared at him. Hokuto-chan came to his aid giving him the way to offer to Subaru-kun the motivation and the way to kill him. He had waited patiently until then and in the end... in the end Subaru-kun wasted all his efforts, tore his Wish away from his hands and left him behind, alone.

While the boy was likely back with his sister he was still there, left behind and forgotten, alive but without a goal anymore. He wouldn't have minded much ending his life, falling in the water with Subaru-kun and the pieces of the bridge, slipping quietly into death's arms but the Ten no Ryu's Kamui had to save him, had to respect Subaru-kun's Wish. Subaru-kun's Wish had been cruel, like Hokuto-chan's had. They both died to save someone else. And left behind that someone else.

He couldn't complain really, because he had planned to do almost the same only... he had tried to be hated by Subaru-kun so the boy wouldn't miss him. Subaru-kun instead... with each of his actions had made himself more precious, more present in Seishiro's life than he had ever believed to be possible.

He remained there, watching the sea, wondering what should he do with the rest of his life. All of sudden everything seemed of no importance.

He hadn't loved Subaru-kun. So why now he couldn't find the strength to live without him?


He saw the Chi no Ryu's Kamui few days later. The boy tracked him down while he was visiting Subaru-kun's old house, the one in which the boy had resided during the year of the bet.(4) Now only memories resided there in place of the two twins, memories and dust. Seishiro didn't know why he had gone there in the first place but he wasn't happy to be bothered by Kamui there. It was a private place, his and Subaru-kun's only.

"You have no more business with me now. I have no more interest in your little game of blowing up the world," he stated, refusing to meet the boy's gaze. Once, when he had watched the Chi no Ryu's Kamui he had seen Subaru-kun instead. He refused to risk it again. Subaru-kun was no more. He won't be reminded of him by the teenager.(5)

"I know," the Chi no Ryu's Kamui commented with a shrug. "I tried to warn you but you didn't want to listen, did you?" If there was a thing Seishiro hated more than being ignored was being reminded he made a mistake.

"Then leave," he hissed.

"I can't. I still have to fulfil your Ten no Ryu's last Wish," the boy replied with another shrug.

"Subaru-kun's last Wish?" he repeated, turning to look at him. Subaru-kun's name echoed inside him as a desperate call. After his chat with the Ten no Ryu's Kamui he had forbidden himself to say it and now that he had done it, it seemed he couldn't let it go.

"His last Wish. The thing he had desired most, the thing he had longed for... That right eye of yours should know it," Kamui said pointing at it. "It seems he never forgave himself for your loss. For allowing you to lose an eye for someone you didn't care for. For allowing someone to hurt his most precious person. His Wish was for that scar to be erased."

"That was stupid from him. I never regretted my loss," he commented with a careless shrug. He still remembered how Subaru-kun cried that day. He'd been surprised by it, hadn't really understood why the boy had felt so much pain and had believed it was all due to Subaru-kun's kind nature. Hokuto-chan had told him it was due to him, that he was 'special' to Subaru-kun but he hadn't believed her. Now, however... he wondered...

"No," the Chi no Ryu's Kamui agreed. "You see it as a sign of possession. A tie that bonded him to you. The demonstration that no one but you could touch him. Your Ten no Ryu however never realized it. To him it was a sacrifice that gave you no gain." Saying so Kamui lifted his hand showing him he was holding a cylindrical case, marked with the Sumeragi's five-pointed star. Seishiro's eyes widened in recognition of that symbol. "Inside this there is your Ten no Ryu's left eye. It was the only thing remaining that I could find of him at Rainbow Bridge. For you to use this eye to repay your loss, that was what your Ten no Ryu wanted."

Seishiro looked at the case. Subaru-kun's eye. The last piece of the boy that still remained in the world.

"That's so stupid... I never wanted this from him..." Kamui looked at the case and shrugged.

"You never considered informing him about your wishes or finding out what he really wanted, do you?" He didn't wait for an answer. "He didn't know what you Wished for. In his Wish there was the attempt to fulfil what you made him believe it was your Wish, killing him." Yes, he let Subaru-kun believe so. He thought it would made easier for Subaru-kun to kill him. Subaru-kun however had told him he didn't wished for it but he just hadn't cared. "And now you want your positions to be reverse," Kamui continued, "You want him to be alive facing this, him to be alive to take your destiny, your place, your eye. It would have been fun. Your Ten no Ryu was quite pretty and he would have been vulnerable and alone after your death," he commented absently. Seishiro's eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean?" Kamui pressed the case near to his cheek and stroked it against it in an almost sensual, allusive manner.

"He saw you when he looked at me... and I'm sure once you were gone he would have came to me to search for comfort... and I... could have given him exactly what he wanted..." Kamui trailed off but his gaze spoke of things Seishiro didn't want to picture.

"You won't touch Subaru-kun with a single finger," he snarled.

"No one can touch him anymore. You killed him, remember? All that remain of him is here," he added, waving the case. "Do you want it or I get to keep..." Before Kamui could finish the sentence Seishiro had already ripped the case out of his hand.

"Get out from here," he hissed, his fingers gripping the case tightly. That was Subaru-kun. A piece of Subaru-kun, really, but Subaru-kun was his and so that piece too belonged to him and to him only. He won't let anyone else to have it. Kamui smiled but nothing in him reminded him of Subaru-kun this time. How had he even been able to exchange that sadistic boy for his sweet, naïve, kind and pure Subaru-kun? How?

Once alone he returned his gaze on the case. What was he going to do with it? What?

He pressed it to his cheek as he had been used to do with Subaru-kun's beautiful hands.

"Subaru-kun..." he whispered, "Foolish boy, that wasn't what I wished..."

But of course the case couldn't answer him. His Wish. Wasted, destroyed, murdered like Subaru-kun... What could he Wish for now that he was without Subaru-kun? What could he?

"Subaru-kun..." he repeated "This really wasn't what I Wished for... I... You..."

Might be continued...

JJ's Notes:

1. This dialogue comes from 'X' Vol. 16

2. To all the Subaru/Kamui shippers... Kamui knows that Seishiro is special to Subaru. I guess he didn't realize exactly how or how much if not after Rainbow Bridge but he knows it.

3. This dialogue comes from 'X' Vol. 16

4. I'm assuming Subaru moved out of his old house. I'm not sure but the place showed in 'X' to me seems different from the one showed in 'Tokyo Babylon'...

5. I'm not exactly sure about this but in 'X' Vol. 12 when Kamui said to Seishiro that Seishiro doesn't know Subaru's Wish he also smiled innocently like Subaru would have done before and Seishiro looked at him surprised. If Subaru is Seishiro's only obsession and Fuma can look like the person he wanted to see in that moment he had probably looked like Subaru to him... but well, that's just my impression...

JJ's Extra Notes:
Have someone noticed that in this whole chapter Seishiro does nothing else but worrying about how he didn't get his Wish? He's a little egoistic brat but somehow I still love him for it...
Yes, the dialogues between Seishiro and Kamui and Seishiro and Fuma are similar to the ones Subaru had with the two teenager in the real 'X' timeline. I did it on purpose. Subaru and Seishiro are way too similar in some matters...
No, Fuma isn't interested in Subaru. However he had a Wish to fulfil and Seishiro was being difficult so... a little teasing never hurt anyone...

Dictionary:
-chan: Name ending used to express affection and familiarity or to talk with a child
-kun: Young
-san: "Mr." or "Mrs."
Chi no Ryu: Dragon of Earth
Kekkai: Shield
Onmyoudo: "Way of Yin and Yang". Yin and Yang are the male and female forces underlying the movement and changes of nature. Onmyoudo is based upon the Chinese arts of astrology, divination and Taoist magic and also represents a mystical way of living in harmony with the forces of nature
Onmyoujutsu: "Art of Yin and Yang". The ability to use Onmyoudo spells
Sakurazukamori: "Guardian of the Cherry Blossom Burial Mound". The assassin who uses Onmyoujutsu to kill. Sakurazuka Seishiro's title
Ten no Ryu: Dragon of Heaven


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To Everyone who reviewed: Thank you! You're a great encouragement for me!

To moongirlSelene99: You don't sound a total sap! I wish the same thing! Don't worry, in the end this will have a happy end for them... Just wait...


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