Chapter 1
He didn't understand. No, he
couldn't understand. Daisuke couldn't understand how
Ishida Yamato could jump on to Garurumon. And if it were only to
ride the large beast from one place to another, but into battle against
MetalGreymon! He just couldn't understand why he would risk
his life.
Wasn't he supposed to be
friends with the Cyborg Digimon? Weren't friends not suppose
to hurt each othergranted MetalGreymon had started it but
he was under the control of a dark spiral, it wasn't his
fault, he had no free will, he probably couldn't even think!
But Ishida and the others could think. They could make their own
decision and they had decided to hurt their friend instead of
find another way to turn him back to normal. And then they had
the gall to say it was out of friendship.
Daisuke didn't understand.
Friends weren't supposed to do that to friends. But then how
would he know? He, Motomiya Daisuke, who had never had a friend.
The only things he knew about friendship were the things he saw
on Television and the things his sister told him about friends.
"Don't ever trust
them." She would say. "No matter how close you
think they are to you. Friends should never be trusted! You never
know when they'll turn on you." Granted this piece
of advice could have come from some awful experience that might
have turned Jun bitter and mistrusting. But Daisuke knew nothing
of this. He believed his sister because she had never done
anything to hurt him. Because she showed him that she cared and
had come to his aid. Held him when he was scared and chased all
the monsters away. She was his Oneesama. The –sama added
because of the deep respect he held for her. Though she'd
probably kick his ass if she ever knew he addressed her as
Oneesama in his mind. She always hated that, she always thought
that it meant that they weren't really close. She just
didn't understand that the –sama didn't mean that
he placed her on a pedestal, it expressed all his respect for
her. But he wasn't going to argue with her, that was like
stepping into shark infested waters with an open cut. Stupid.
Daisuke looked around at all the
other Chosen Children, they were to busy trying to
"save" MetalGreymon to even consider explaining this to
him. Not that they would. Takeru had been constantly yelling at
him to fight. The blond seemed to be constantly angry these days.
Again he didn't understand, Ishida and Yagami said that it
was good for Takeru and him to fight. They said it would make
them better friends. It seemed Daisuke would forever be confused.
How could fighting make us
better friends? Daisuke asked himself as Patamon saved
Veemon.
He didn't have a chance to
think about that, since Takeru had once more tackled him
screaming about how he wasn't a good friend. Daisuke frowned
at this. How could hurting someone make them better friends. Was
Takeru expressing his need for a deeper friend by trying to beat
Daisuke into a bloody pulp?
I thought we were rivals. Daisuke
thought. Rivals for Hikari's heart. I thought rivals
couldn't be friends. Rivals were rivals, friends were
friends and lovers were lovers. That's all he
understood. That's all he ever learned. That's what he
tried to do to be a normal kid. Have friends, a girl that he was
in love with and a rival. That was normal and that's what he
would always strive for.
But now, nothing made any sense.
Fighting friends to help them. Jumping into danger for no real
reason what's so ever.
He looked up at the Digimon Kaiser
who sat atop MetalGreymon and wondered if he had any friends. If
anyone cared for him. Was this also something he was doing to
make friends?
My head hurts.
Daisuke looked over at Yagami who
was talking to Ishida, both boys trying very hard to save
MetalGreymon. Yagami looked so worried about his Digimon partner.
His amber eyes shinning with pain—
Pain?
—and determination.
And then he understood. He
understood it so perfectly. He understood why he had to hurt to
save. It was all for the greater good. He smiled at the
realization. He looked up at the Digimon Kaiser and their eyes
met for just a moment. He felt something—understood
something—which he had not before. Though he could not put
these feelings into words, he knew they were important. He knew
it explained everything that he was feeling.
Daisuke sighed, as he looked up
form the painting he had been currently working on all day. The
mixture of grays and reds and oranges had reminded him of
MetalGreymon, which had brought memories of the past. A smirk
spread across his face. There were millions of things he
didn't understand, but now that he was older he was better
at hiding it. Better at dealing with it.
There was a knock at the door of
his small loft and he stood, placing his paintbrush in the water
can next to him and walking towards the door. His bare feet
stepping over dirty clothing and spilled paint.
Mental note: clean up spill.
Daisuke looked into the peephole
then smirked. He removed the three, double, bolt locks and opened
the door to reveal a rather wet and very annoyed Takaishi Takeru.
Daisuke grinned at him and motioned for him to enter, which the
young man did. Daisuke then turned and closed and locked the door
before following the trail of water back to his living room slash
bedroom.
"To what do I owe this
pleasure, oh wet one." Daisuke said grabbing one of the
shirts that were on the floor and placing it on Takeru's
head. Takeru glared at Daisuke as the redhead began to dry his
hair with the aforementioned shirt.
Fighting made us closer. Daisuke
thought as Takeru took the shirt form his hands and grumbled
something about moron painters who use dirty shirts instead of
towels to dry people. Daisuke smirked again. Fighting because
of our differences showed us our similarities.
There was no real reason why they
had come to the Digiworld so late at night, but they were there.
Neither one really remembering the reason why they had come, only
concentrating on the matter at hand—kicking the crap out of
the other.
Daisuke drew a shaky breath in,
wiping blood from his lip with the back of his mustard-colored,
gloved hand. His other hand in a tight fist at his side, Daisuke
glared at Takeru who stood a few feet away form him. The other
boy's blue eyes flashing dangerously, his hat long gone, his
hair disheveled.
Neither one could remember why
they were fighting. All they knew was that they were angry or
they were suppose to be angry with the other. Though neither one
was exactly angry anymore. Actually, fist fighting had wore them
out and they both just wanted to sit down and rest, yet neither
one was willing to back down to the other.
Daisuke raised his hand a bit and
Takeru charged at him, thinking that Daisuke was going to attack
and wanting to beat him to the punch. Daisuke, caught slightly by
surprise, could do nothing but defend against the onslaught of
punches.
"Teme" Daisuke
murmured as he stepped to the side and swung at Takeru. The
boy's eyes closed and he fell form the impact of the punch.
And Daisuke jumped on top of Takeru, his fist raising and falling
on the form below him.
Takeru's eyes stayed shut as
he was hit, his body screaming in agony and the anger in him
building quickly. He opened his eyes catching one of
Daisuke's fists, while moving his head to the side so the
other could miss. He took the chance that the other boy was
confused to grab hold of Daisuke's neck with his free hand
and squeeze. Daisuke's eyes grew wide and he opened his
mouth to gasp for air, his hands fly towards the one holding his
neck. But now both of Takeru's hands were wrapped around his
neck and wouldn't let go.
Daisuke pulled at Takeru's
hands while glaring down at him, but Takeru would not deter. He
placed his foot on Daisuke's stomach and pushed the boy off
of him while letting go. But he also followed him, jumping on top
of Daisuke as he gasped for air.
The darker boy was to busy gasping
for air to notice Takeru until the blond was on top of him. Blue
eyes, darker with anger, staring down at him. He was pinned to
the floor because Takeru was sitting on his legs and holding his
shoulders down with his hands.
"Why'd you hit me?"
Takeru all but yelled. Daisuke glared at him and struggled to get
loose.
"HanaseTeme!!"
Daisuke growled. "Let me go now!!"
Takeru held him down harder,
repeating his question through clenched teeth. Daisuke glared up
at him or at least tried to, for even though his eyes were
narrowed and there was anger in them, there was more pain
reflecting in those chocolate eyes then anything else. Takeru
felt his anger slowly disappear.
"Daisuke" Takeru
began.
"No don't give me this
crap, TK." Daisuke interrupted. "Just let me go!"
"Daisuke, what did I do
wrong?"
"Nothing."
"There has to be a reason for
giving me this shiner." Daisuke glared at him.
"There wasn'tI
just wanted to."
Takeru's eyes narrowed, one
hand releasing Daisuke shoulder to hit him in the face. Brown
eyes closed in pain; he could almost feel his teeth rattling.
Daisuke's whole body hurt
from the fight. The fight started because he was way too
sensitive. He shouldn't have hit Takeru, he knew that the
minute Takeru had placed his hand over his eye in pain but he
didn't get a chance to apologize for Takeru was charging at
him before he could even think of a thing to say. And then they
didn't stop. He wouldn't stop because even if he was
wrong to hit him, Takeru's words still hurt.
"That's not the answer I
wanted to hear!" Takeru all but growled. Daisuke sighed and
continued to keep his eyes closed. He didn't want to look
into those piercing blue eyes.
"I know." He said after
a long time. Takeru's anger once more melted away. There
were so many different emotions in that voice.
"Then tell me." Daisuke
said nothing for a long time and Takeru respected his need for
silence.
"Get off me." Daisuke
finally said taking Takeru off guard and throwing him off.
Daisuke stood and dusted himself off not once looking at the
other boy.
Takeru stood up prepared to jump
the other boy if he showed any signs of flight. Takeru wanted to
know what had upset the other boy so much and wasn't about
let him get away.
"I'm sorry I hit
you." Daisuke finally said. "But you pissed me off.
That comment about me and my family you made wasn't cool,
TK."
Takeru stood there bemused for a
long moment.
"You mean the one about how
you don't resemble your family?" Daisuke visibly
stiffened.
"That was crude on really
high levels, TK." Daisuke still had his back to him but
Takeru didn't have to look at his face to know that Daisuke
was extremely hurt.
"Daisukeboku
wa—" Takeru began.
"I'm adopted, TK."
He had no idea why he just said that. It had just slipped out and
he couldn't stop it. But yet he felt better saying it, if
not a little scared of Takeru's reaction.
Takeru felt like he had been
punched in the gut. How could have he been so insensitive! Why
had he said that anyway? He didn't even know. All he knew
was that he had been angry with Daisuke over something concerning
Hikari, and he wanted to talk to him thus calling for a late
night meeting in the Digiworld. Daisuke had once more pissed him
off and he had made the comment about his family resembles or
lack of, during one of their more intense bouts. Then Daisuke had
hit him and he understood why.
"Kami-sama" was all he
could say. He felt so ashamed. "DaisukeI—"
Takeru looked up from staring at the ground and notice that
Daisuke was no where in sight. He had disappeared and Takeru had
been so absorbed in his thoughts that had not realized it.
"Shit Daisuke, why do you
have to so difficult?" Takeru said running off after him.
***
"So this is your new
painting?" Takeru said looking at the half-finished
painting. He noticed that Daisuke had recently been working on it
because of the still wet paintbrushes and the open cans of paint.
"Yeah." Came
Daisuke's faint reply form the bathroom.
"It's weird."
Takeru continued. "This isn't earth, is it?" he
continued to look at it as if he were trying to decipher
hieroglyphics. The strange mixtures of red and orange and those
off areas where there were only shapes of gray it didn't
make much sense to Takeru, then again he never really understood
art in the first place.
Daisuke walked out of the bathroom
while zipping up his fly, the low whoosh of the toilet echoing in
the background. He looked up at Takeru and then at his painting
as he walked towards him.
"NawI only do
otherworldly art for Wallace." Daisuke said, "And he
hasn't asked for anything in a while." Takeru nodded.
"That's not finished."
Takeru titled his head somewhat
and Daisuke found himself admiring his friend's beauty.
Something he had done many times since they had become friends.
I really should get him to pose
for me. Daisuke thought grinning.
"Daisuke, you're almost
out of canvas." Takeru said. "How can you say it's
not finished?"
Daisuke grinned. "It's
going to be done in pieces, Takeru." Daisuke pointed to the
other three canvases that all ready had small, light sketches on
them. "Each piece will be unique and show a picture but when
all the pieces are put together they will show a grand
story."
Takeru nodded in understanding.
"So, what's the whole picture suppose to be?"
"If I told you that, I would
be spoiling all the fun." Takeru rolled his eyes and walked
to the couch. He began to shove dirty clothing and other
weird—and sometimes disgusting—things out of the way so
that he could sit down.
Daisukeartistic
geniushuge ass pig. Takeru thought with a fond smile.
"So, why the hell did you
come here while the sky's falling?" Daisuke asked
beginning to clean his brushes.
Takeru looked at him and then out
the window. The rain had not seemed to cease since the time he
had arrived if anything it had gotten worse. Lightening dancing
through the sky, the thunder being its' music. Both, daring
anyone to cross them at their most powerful. The wind blew by
quickly, whipping at people's faces, its' icy fingers
wrapping around the unsuspecting passerby and freezing them down
to the marrow of their bones. The bare trees also danced, swaying
back and forth by Daisuke's windows trying to entrance those
within, their branches scratching up against the window demanding
to be let in. Takeru felt a shiver run up his spine remembering
to many scary stories that revolved around days like that.
"You still cold?"
Daisuke asked throwing him a sweater. Takeru thanked him and put
on the sweater aware that it smelled like Daisuke. A smell that
consisted of paint and red wood. Takeru smiled wondering where
Daisuke could have picked up the smell of red wood.
"You haven't answered my
question." Daisuke said walking over to kitchenette to throw
away the dirty water.
"I was in the
neighborhood." Takeru replied, shrugging. "Thought
I'd drop by see how you were doing." Daisuke arched an
eyebrow at this.
"Takeru, quit the crap and
tell me what you want." Daisuke said moving the canvas to a
place where there was less traffic. Takeru sighed.
"I really just came to see
you, Daisuke." Takeru said. "Been kinda worried about
you. Haven't seen you since you started dating
Shoma-san." Daisuke looked at him and shrugged.
"Been penned up in this place
painting." Daisuke informed him, pointing to the
half-finished canvas. "And as for Shoma-kun, we broke up a
while ago."
"Him or you?" Takeru
asked already knowing the answer.
"Him."
"Got bored?"
"Yeah."
"You know why, right?"
Daisuke sighed. "We go
through this every time, Takeru."
Takeru shook his head and looked
up at the ceiling. He couldn't understand Daisuke. The young
man was constantly switching lovers. They'd came and went
like the season but they wouldn't last as long. Each one
different, yet all similar. Takeru knew exactly what relationship
Daisuke had with these people but he would never say it out loud.
The only difference was that Daisuke actually went out on dates
with them, instead of just jumping in the sack. But it always
ended up like that. Relationships based on nothing but sex rarely
went anywhere.
Daisuke had only had one
relationship that wasn't like that. It was the one he had
with Hikari when they were sixteen. They had dated but then had
broken up. They fought, constantly. But it wasn't because
Daisuke did stupid things or insulted or treated her a certain
way she didn't like or vice versa. It was because Daisuke
was extremely closed off and always acted very odd during
relationships.
"Apathetic to the point of
being submissive." Hikari had told him once. It was the
night before she had broken up with him. "I ask him if
wants to do something and he always say do whatever you
want'. Even when it directly affects him! I can't have
that kind of relationship, Takeru! "
It pained him to think of that,
because Hikari had really liked Daisuke and she had cried when
they had broken up.
"He just looked at me!"
Hikari had wailed. His shirt was soaked with her tears. "Like
if I had just told him the sky was blue! Then he nodded and said
that he wasn't upset and I know he only said it because of
the look that was on my face, and I know he meant it too!
He's not upset. I don't think he even cares. I
don't know what's wrong with him, Takeru. I
couldn't get close to him, physically yes, but not
emotionally. It's like he has this wall and then a
fuckin' force field and a thousand other things.
And his eyes become blank
sometimes. Like when I would ask him to do something he'd
just nod—no matter what it was. When we were intimate it
felt artificial like it was just a job for him. I don't even
think he paid attentionI don't know. It's not
like he was bad or anything, far from it, really. But it's
like his mind and heart weren't into. Like he wasn't
doing it to please himself just meI don't know. I
don't understand and when I tried to ask he'd avoid the
question and if I press he'd just withdraw further.
He'd never yell though, just not answer. He'd watch me
yell but never yell back."
Takeru had been just as perplexed
as Hikari. He had known that Daisuke was very secretive about his
past (and he was sure it had to do with his past). But even he
knew very little passed the fact that Daisuke had been adopted.
And many didn't even know that. Daisuke just didn't
like to share his past and Takeru respected his privacy but he
still felt hurt. He was supposed to be the boy's best
friend—well, he and Ken, that is. But neither seemed to know
anything, they both would give each other confused and
exasperated looks. Neither knew and would never know from the way
things looked. For Daisuke didn't want to tell and they
didn't want to pry. But how could they help their friend if
they didn't know the reasons for his troubles. His secrets
seemed to hurt more then help the situation. But as Hikari had
said: when one tried to delve into his past, even the most
cunning and subtle could not get past the guard or the door of
three-inch reinforced steel and what ever other devices were
placed to keep the world form discovery the redheads secrets.
So Takeru said nothing and waited,
just like Ken. They waited for the moment when Daisuke would
finally be ready to tell them his secrets.
I don't think I'll
live to see the day. Takeru thought bitterly.
Worried heart is
beating with darkness
Feeling so cold and
tight inside of the skull
Nerve function has
been out of order
Kissing to the
sleeping beauty in the forest
Dream is still a
dream that never changes
Dream is still a
dream that never changes
Blind fear is
lingering around
Falling to the
deepness of the inner spiral
Dream is still a
dream that never changes
Dream is still a
dream that never changes
Get rid of you
notions
Haven't you
realized yet? (Do it)
Get feel of your
passion
Haven't you
realized yet? (Go for it)
Perceive through
the soul
Dream is still a
dream that never changes
Dream is still a
dream that never changes
Destroying the
illusion with your hands
Destroying the
illusion with your hands
Get rid of you
notions
Haven't you
realized yet? (Do it)
Get feel of your
passion
Haven't you
realized yet? (Go for it)
You get out from
the shell
Get rid of your
notions
Haven't you
realized yet? (Do it)
Get feel of your
passion
Haven't you
realized yet? (Go for it)
Perceive through
the soul
Get rid of your
notions
Get rid of your
border
Get rid of your
notions
Get rid of your
border
Get out from the
shell—Asian version—
By, L'Arc~en~Ciel
TBC
Okay, I know that I have yet to
start the romance of this story. And I'm sorry. But the
stuff that happened in this chapter needed to be added into the
story and this was the perfect place to put it in. The next
chapter should start off the romance thing. I also hope that the
skipping from present to future isn't that confusing.
*sighs* back to work.