A/N: Being pressed for time sucks, doesn't it? Fear not loyal readers, I promised a longer funnier chapter, and darn it that's what you'll get! After I respond to your reviews, of course.
LadyPhoenix99: Aurora, eh? I'll check out your fic some time after I'm done with all these updates. I might sneak in a cameo…you never know. Thanks for reading!
DreamCherry66: Really? I thought Yami was acting like me…oh well. Loved the line at the end about the heart of the cards, that was great stuff. Thanks for reading.
Feebeefi: Crazy in a good way, I guess that's what the aim was. Thanks for reading.
Shy and LeighC: Hmm…surprise you two, eh? I'll see what I can do. Thanks for reading (hope you get your stories back up soon, Shy…sorry about what happened)
Kikoken: :thinking of WWE's glory days: You caught the CLB (creepy little bastard for those not familiar) bit, nice. Hmm…didn't some bald guy say that? Yeah, Yami should stay away from those damn cookies. Maybe him and the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street can fight it out in a later chapter. Just a thought, I guess. Thanks for reading.
TrueYamigirlfriend: I can do it all! Humor, drama, romance...let me stop. Thanks for reading, and if you want I can give you the name of a website with all the stupid rules for it to make it easier to follow.
Satra: Thanks for reading! Glad you like it so far, and more Yami quips are comming!
Well, you people didn't leave too many suggestions as far as parings go, so I guess I have free reign on the pairings!
Seto: We're all screwed.
Yugi: Yup.
I'll see where my imagination takes me. Enjoy this silly work of fiction, people!
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Chapter Five: Royal Pain
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Duke dealt out another hand to the players at the table (Yes, Yami finally stopped dancing and sat down) as Bakura sat and counted his chips. "Still feeling so confident, Mai?"
"Go to hell."
"Ha...that will teach you to trifle with the powers of the dark side." Bakura finished counting his stack and proceeded to look at his face down cards.
"Dark side? Who da heck are you, Darth Vader?" Joey asked as he immediately threw away his hand not willing to waste any chips on it.
"Hold on a second, aren't you the one with the puppy costume still in his closet? I'd keep my mouth closed if I were you." Bakura spat out angrily.
"Not to mention you have every season of Sailor Moon on DVD under your bed." Tristan chimed in, muffling his own laughter in the process.
"Hey, It's a good show, OK? It's not like I'm gawkin' at the Sailor Soldiers (or Sailor Scouts, depending on whom you ask) or anything like dat."
"Yeah and that explains all the Sailor Moon porn on the school computer, right?"
"HEY! YA PROMISED NOT TA TELL ANYBODY ABOUT DAT!"
The entire table roared in laughter as Joey tried to strangle his best friend.
"YOU'RE DA ONE WHO GETS UP EVERY MORNING TO WATCH POWER RANGERS!"
"I'd rather watch Power Rangers than Sailor Moon any day!"
"Um, guys, can we get to the game, PLEASE? All this talk about Power Rangers and Sailor Scouts is making me feel like im in second grade again!" Duke pleaded as he prepared to put down the first three of the "community" cards.
"So Kaiba, do you watch any porn?" Mai asked innocently as she inspected her own cards.(Queen of Hearts, 2 of Hearts)
"Of course not. Do you think that a man as busy as I am has time for porn? I have a company to run." (Kaiba's hand: King of Clubs, Jack of Clubs)
Mai rolled her eyes. "Riiight. And let me guess, you carry that laptop around all the day and do work?"
"Yes. And when I'm not busting my butt with all my work for my company, I have to raise my little brother and pester little Yugi. Where is the time for such a dispicable activity?"
"Kaiba...you're a GUY. Guys make time for things like that. I think I know what it is...you're scared to say what type of porn you like?"
"I WILL USE THE FORCE TO OVERCOME THESE OVERWHELMING ODDS!" Yami suddenly shouted, scaring everyone in the room.
"Yami...two important things here. One, you're not a Jedi warrior. Two...STAY AWAY FROM THOSE DAMN COOKIES!" Tea shouted as the former Pharoah returned to his seat.
"OK...now that that's over with, here's the flop."
Ace of Clubs
Queen of Clubs
Queen of Diamonds
Mai and Kaiba were the only ones left in the hand by this point, and Kaiba decided to make his move.
"All in."
"Oh my...all 700 hundered of your chips. I'm SO scared SETO!" Mai mockingly shouted. Taking her melodrama to another level, she pretended to faint. Falling directly into Kaiba's lap in the process.
"I'll call...only if you promise to do one thing if I win."
Kaiba, who was visibly nervous at the sight of the attactive blonde in his lap, tried to keep a straight face. "What would that be?"
"Watch a porno with me."
Everyone heard it. Yami stopped gobbling up cookies. Tea stopped telling him to quit eating them. Duke stopped flirting with Serenity. Joey and Tristan stopped trying to kill one another. Even Bakura was astonished.
"You're obviously joking. Seto Kaiba would never-"
"Kaiba, don't refer to yourself in the third person. Do you accept or don't you?"
"Hey Kaiba, if ya do lose, I have some great films I can reccommend." Joey snickered as Kaiba struggled with the decision.
"Thanks Wheeler, I'll make sure I get you a new leash when this is over."
Joey mumbled some obscenitiesunder his breath as Kaiba finally made his decision.
"Agreed."
"Good, I'll call."
Mai and Kaiba flipped over their cards, and Joey yelped with joy.
"HA! Send dat loser home, Mai!"
"The only 'loser' in this room is YOU, Joey!" Tea said with a smack to the back of Joey's head.
The turn card:
Queen of Spades.
"Uh-oh! That means only one card can save Kaiba's ass now." Bakura pointed out as Duke prepared to deal out the "river card".
Mai stood cool and confident, Kaiba was biting on his fingernails with a nervous excitement.
For once, Heart of the Cards, come through! The last thingI want is to be stuck in a room with this money-mongering blonde! PLEASE!
"USE THE FORCE KAIBA!" Yami shouted again, using his bottle of Pepsi to swing around as a light sabre.
"How many times do I have to tell you, YOU'RE NOT A JEDI!" Tea pulled him down from the table as he opened the Pepsi, drenching her face in the syrupy liquid.
The river card:
Ten of Clubs
Kaiba couldn't belive it...did he just believe in the 'Heart of the Cards'? And it worked?
Once again I apologize for the shortness of my chapters, but I just got a new job recently and haven't had much time to right as I would like. Anyways, Sailor Moon fans please don't flame me, I like the show and I was just poking fun at the fact that a lot of the male fans of the show are considered "perverts" to many. Star Wars fans please don't flame me, I know you're reading this as you stand in line waiting for your tickets. May the force be with you. Yu-gi-oh fans...go ahead. Flame me. I CHALLENGE YOU! Just kidding. Eat your vegetables and take care of yourselves people.
BDB...out
