HOLY Beginnings

There was screaming in my ears... terrible screaming. The whole world was dissolving, turning into radiant iridescent ash. All of it was me, and the voice in the back of my mind came to the front. The voice was me. It whispered unthinkable things, and I wanted to hear more. I took action, still the world around me crumbled. Everything, everyone. I stood, and with the great power I possessed, I changed it all to my will.

A figure stood before me, crying for me to stop, but I kept going. Swirling madness erupted, shining, shimmering colours, flying, dancing, forming... The figure disappeared, dissolved into the flickering ash that everything turned into when decomposed. The screaming got louder, but I was undaunted. I wasn't finished yet. There was still much more to go. I would change all I had to, to get to the one I needed.

He was there, standing beside where the first figure used to be. He couldn't understand what I had done, why I had taken it from him. He was the one I wanted.

Others got in the way, and he only resisted more, but I would take them from him, too... I changed them all. They were all just matter that could be manipulated, to make something better.

I would change them how I wanted.

'Ryuhou! Ryuhou!'

I sat bolt upright, panting. I was damp with cold sweat. It took me a moment to realize my surroundings, and to realize that it had been me who had been screaming.

'Ryuhou! It's alright! It was a dream!' Father had me firmly by the shoulders and he was looking on me with great concern.

Dream... dream... It was already fading. This was the third night in a row that this had happened, but by no means was it the first time such a thing had occurred. I nodded and wormed out of his grip. I didn't need him. I was fine on my own.

'Ryuhou, please say something...'

'Goodnight.' I said curtly, my voice harsh. I rolled over and settled back into bed. My father sighed and stood.

'I... I want you to go out tomorrow. You're always cooped up inside all by yourself. I'll give you a ride to anywhere you'd like, just tell me when and where, alright? See you in the morning.'

He'd never been finicky about my personal life before, though I've never really had one. He must have been really desperate for me to have a personal life. If he made one for me, he could have made a point of not involving himself in it. Still, I respected him for trying. He was a strong man, and he certainly deserved respect for it.

Once I was certain he was gone, I reached out and pulled a piece of paper that I had hidden under the digital clock on my nightstand. It was a newspaper article that I found fascinating the moment I laid eyes on it. I took the page, and no one missed it because no one asked any questions about it. It went so:

"HOLY Venture Released from HOLD

"Commander Martin Sigmar, one of HOLD's main board members, revealed a proposal for a unique division of the Lost Ground's military police. Earlier Wednesday morning, during new law enforcement establishment HOLD's, bimonthly public meeting, he described plans to bring a new division into light.

"'HOLD should have a division whose force is composed entirely of Alter Users, after all, only Alters can fight other Alters.' Sigmar told the other board members upon presenting his idea. He went on to describe the situation of increased Native Alter attacks close to the borders of the city and all over the Muraji Special Economics District. Sigmar continued by saying that there were already several Alter Users in HOLD's ranks and that more could be found and convinced to join the new division, HOLY's, workforce."

That article had peaked my interest and if I was going anywhere, it would be to go and see this Sigmar man.

It had been a little over a year since the mysterious Alter destroyed my life. I was fourteen, and my Alter powers had grown substantially. All my father knew, though, was that I'd stopped causing accidents. In truth, I'd been going outside on some nights, usually the ones where I couldn't sleep at all, and going to the demolished district; the one where I used to live. They were trying to re-build it, but they were certainly taking their time. It was still bad enough out there that I could practice there and no one really noticed.

Every night I went there, I got better.

Every night I went there, I got stronger.

I brought out Zetsuei and I would make him work. It was taxing on me because, well, he was me, and I was him. Anything that happened to him happened to me, and the other way around. I quickly learned this, while trying to knock a concrete wall down using Zetsuei as a ram. I got around it. I could make it so that Zetsuei's recoil didn't affect me in the slightest. I would even spar with him, taking up an iron pole, or occasionally unarmed, and make Zetsuei attack me. His whips could easily have sliced through the pole, but I had him attack with the flat of his whips.

I commanded him with my mind. He was as strong as my thoughts. I sparred with him until we were physical equals. My mind and body were the same strength, and I only got stronger for every day that passed. Vengeance was my incentive. I saw my vengeance in Zetsuei's eye... my defiance. I suppose one would say that it's some sort of inner struggle that is made corporeal, but that is not the case. I fought with Zetsuei to win, I fought with him to be stronger and I am achieving my goal.

But still, we were one and the same, Zetsuei and I. My emotions especially swayed Zetsuei's performance on those nights. I was never caught, my father never knew of Zetsuei's existence. I was preparing. I awaited the next time I'd meet with that Alter and his User. I anticipated it. I wanted him to come for me. Zetsuei beat him back to wherever he came from that first time, but he would come back. He would come back and he would come for me.

And I would be ready for that day.

I was very aware of the fact that that night had changed me, I tried to keep my mind off of it, though. Not that I had anything against change, unlike some people who were so frightened of change that they set a mad Alter loose on the city, destroying everything that... well, I tried to keep my mind off of it as often as I could. Didn't happen as often as I liked, but... just say that I tried.

I doubted that I'd get any more sleep that night, so I sat silently for several minutes, listening to see if anyone was lurking outside my door, a servant maybe, waiting for me to fall into a more peaceful sleep than I had been having. Even after straining my ears I heard no one. Still silently, I put my housecoat over my pajamas and slipped on my sneakers that I kept under the bed for such occasions. I went out on the balcony, closing the door behind me but making sure it wasn't locked, and vaulted the railing. I had a room in the west wing of the mansion where the house cut into a hill. The ground at the west wing came up to the second story in the back and my balcony was level with the ground. Making my way down the steps put into the hill, a part of the path that ran all around the grounds, I fell back into thought.

Alter discrimination had been greatly increasing, especially after the... incident. Father had been very good about the whole thing. He had not lied to his guests when they asked about me, but he didn't just outright tell them about my abilities either. He didn't say a word about it unless they asked outright whether I had Alter powers, and no one ever did. They figured I was like them since I was from a wealthy family, and upper class never 'fell to those levels'.

But they didn't really know, did they? Many of them had only ever heard stories of Alter Users and they built their opinion of them solely on things they had read in newspapers or seen on television, all very impersonal ways of going about business of any kind. We, that is to say Alter Users, are all judged based on what people saw of Alters on the news, and as they say, no news is good news. There are very few things that are actually broadcast about Alters that aren't something that one of them had done to break a law or two, because no one wants to hear about how an Alter User is sitting and twiddling his thumbs and being a good boy. Since this always happened to be the case, all Alters in general got a bad reputation.

How very unjust.

My feelings of indignation with how this could be so lit something within me, and the article about this institution that would put a stop to rogue Alter Users fueled that light. Maybe Alter discrimination would finally cease with the start of this organization... what was it? Ah, yes, HOLY.

The site was as ruined as always when I got there that night. Debris and broken slabs of concrete littered the streets still. It was so close to the wall and they had done so little to repair it that I was beginning to suspect that they'd just tear down a section of the wall and rebuild it so that this was on the outside. They were just going to forget about it and leave it to deteriorate even more.

Well, I'd use it until it was out of my reach outside the wall.

I drew a stream of strength from the well of power that lay placid within me until I called it. This was second-nature to me, and I quickly saw the form of Zetsuei materialize before me. I no longer cared where I was getting the matter from. I used to, not wanting to take anything that had any sentimental value such as a curb where I walked my dog were he got restless, or the wall of the general store Mother would take me to for a treat. It was just inanimate, though, and it couldn't possibly have any sentimental feelings whatsoever, and I learned that mine weren't really doing me much good, especially when it came to practicing.

I closed my eyes so I could better see through Zetsuei's and controlled his movements with the slightest notions of my hands. I hoped to one day get so good that I wouldn't have to close my eyes or move at all. I would amaze people with this. They looked down on Alter Users because they were different, they stood for change, and no one, especially companies and institutions, liked change no matter how much they said it. Well, they didn't like change unless it had direct and profitable results for them.

Alter Users stood for change. I stood for change, and the change I wanted to bring would be great indeed. That was why I did this. I desperately wanted things to be different, and they would be. I'd go to the place where HOLY was situated, and I'd become a member even if they thought I was too young. I'd make a difference, all right, and there wouldn't be a Native Alter that would deface such significant principles as long as I was around. If I could behave myself, why couldn't they?

Of course, it was probably upbringing that made them social misfits. Being born on the outside of the wall, away from all of the protection and civility there would cause a person to go sour. Still, I suppose that was their own fault, too. They could send in a request to live in the city, or even move to the mainland. They had the money to live in the city before the upheaval, so why did they choose to live in poverty afterwards? Some people were just too incompetent for anyone's good. If the Inners just agreed to live peacefully, then so many problems would be solved. They didn't have to suffer, they simply chose that life for themselves.

And because of their suffering, they have to take it out on other people who don't deserve any such thing. Their children, for instance. If the children live in pain and suffering, they lose the chance to be proper citizens. The human mind is after all a fragile thing, and that was something I learned first-hand. The Inner child would become as cruel as their parent, and if they happened to be Alters, then it was just that much more devastation that resulted. They don't bother to try to do anything to change who they are, though. They don't seem to see that what they do is wrong, and that is the fault of their upbringing, so they do nothing to change their ways, and they cause a lot of grief for the rest of society.

But, like in normal society, the Inner society has people who are generally good, people who can accept change. Diamonds in the rough. I had nothing against them, they enjoy the life they've chosen for themselves, and they live their lives to the fullest, causing no trouble. It's the people who decide that they've been hard-done-by that irk me. They've ruined their own lives, and they make others suffer for their choices. And out there in that lawless land outside the wall, they can do anything they want and get away with it.

Until now, that is. With HOLD, the majority of Inners could be kept under control, but the ones that needed to be controlled the most of all, the Native Alters, were out of HOLD's grasp. With this HOLY thing that was being started, they finally would be brought to see what they have been doing is actually not as glamorous as they thought it was when they started. They would all be brought to justice after having been wild for so long. Inners, thanks to HOLD, had very little to answer for. They weren't left to their own devices for so long, and their justice need not be so harsh. The Native Alters, however...

Since they were out of control for so long, their sins have been building their whole lives and they needed urgently to be brought to justice by any means necessary.

These thoughts had been cycling through my mind since I read that article about three weeks prior. These ideas simply clicked into place, as though they were meant to be there, and had been my whole life. I didn't really understand why no one else saw things this way. Or, if they did, why they stayed quiet. Well, I wouldn't, not for very long at least. Once I had met this Sigmar and spoken to him about becoming part of his organization, my intentions would become known. Good intentions that would be beneficial for everyone involved, not ones that would be beneficial for me solely, as it was with the Native Alters.

My good intentions were guided by my upbringing, which wasn't a surprise. My father was a good person, just as my mother had been. They were perfect in my eyes, and I cherished them with all my heart. I knew how much I loved them and how much they loved me and each other. Father was as torn as I was when Mother died, but there was a difference in how we were so.

He didn't see it happen. He didn't know.

Father would never find another, even if he wanted to. He was so devoted to my mother, and to me, and he'd not be able to accept anyone else in Mother's place, just as I wouldn't. So many things I got from my father. I looked up to and admired him for his strength and kindness, and no one anywhere could sway his beliefs and what he thought was right. In many ways, I was the same. No matter what, I knew my own intentions and no one could tell me that they were different from what I believed.

Unless, of course, it was my father telling me so. He always knew better than me, but mostly I got things right on my own because of his guidance. He had so much experience... everything good in me was his to begin with. His, and my mothers. If it had been Father instead of her, I'd be just as torn if not more so. He was my father, and as such he was my main role model. I remember a time when I was much younger when I wanted to be just like him. Monopoly was probably my favorite board game. The money aspect of it and the deals and property management... it all worked together so perfectly. Finance was a well-oiled machine. A machine that I could use. Enterprise and entrepreneurship were things I commonly asked my father about, and because he knew them so well, my inquiries were almost always satisfied.

But people change. As much as they may not want to, they change. I liked to think that I had a fairly open mind about change, but I'll admit, I didn't want my life to change like that. Not at all. But my life did change, and I've been working hard to accept it as it is now, unlike some people who would just make life equally as miserable for someone who had no such problem. I no longer wanted to take my father's place in business, not like I used to.

I wanted Sigmar's vocation .