Happy Nowhere

My father was silent for some time after that. He let out a thoughtful sigh and said, 'My intention wasn't to force you out from home. I just wanted to let you talk to Commander Sigmar here, that's all, but….. you can make your own choices, Ryuhou.' I could hear the sadness in his voice. He didn't want me to go, but he'd let me because….. how'd he put it….. ah, yes, he said "your life isn't mine to live". He said that to me a long time ago. At that party, in fact, the reception where I met Mimori. He told me that when I ran from her after exposing myself as an Alter User.

I still had great respect for the man, even if I did run out of the house from time to time, even if I did act defiantly. He'd always be the one I looked to for guidance.

I did so at this time. 'You're sure? You'd be…..'

'Alone, yes. I still have my colleagues, I won't have to worry about you all the time if you're here looking out for yourself and other people. I have faith in you, Ryuhou, though I never say it.' He leveled his eyes to mine, and I did the same. A small smile toughed my lips, and I clasped his wrists as he put both hands on my shoulders. 'I have complete and total faith in you. I know that the Lost Ground has great things planned for you.' He stood, and so did Sigmar. Sigmar put his fist across his chest, standing at attention. My father did so as well.

This puzzled me. They suddenly got so formal. I decided to do the same.

'Make me proud, Ryuhou.' That was the last thing he said before turning and walking away. This, too, puzzled me. He just left. I wasn't going to go home again before joining? Or had I already joined? Maybe I shouldn't have been so rash about joining. Sure, it did look wonderful, and the ideals were the same as my own, but I was only fourteen. Should I be out from home and have a job already?

'Certainly. It's not your doing, it was the Native's. He stole your innocence, murdered your childhood. That's all been over for a long time, Ryuhou.' The voice told me. I had come to think of these thoughts as my alter-ego. The other me was reckless, ruthless, and wanted nothing but vengeance. My alter-ego was taking me over. But maybe, just like me and Zetsuei, though we are different, we are one and the same. That thought scares part of me though. The thought that part of me wants to give in to the lust that bloodshed brings.

It was that part of me that was growing stronger. That part of me….. my alter-ego- no, just….. my Alter. There are my ideals; the wish for everyone to be just equal, no one shunned for being different, tolerance….. and there are my Alter's ideals, which I have to believe are also my own; the need to hunt the one who took my former ideals from me. I still have them, but they don't seem as appealing, not as driving as the one to wreak justice upon those who have wronged. It's also just easier to say that me and my Alter side are different, it made things far less confusing and saved me a headache.

It took me a moment to break out of my thoughts and realize that Sigmar….. no, the Commander was speaking. I had to hand it to him, he certainly had an elusive voice.

'Well, now that you know your way around somewhat, I'll tell you where your quarters are, and you can settle in. I'm sure your father will send your things. I'll notify the rest of HOLD that HOLY is ready to be up and running.' He scribbled something on a notepad and tore off the sheet, folding it and handing it to me. 'Currently, the HOLY members are sharing quarters with HOLD members, at least until we have our own. You'll be staying with Kukanaji and three other HOLD members in this room here.' He tapped the paper he handed me. 'Now that we have eight people in HOLY, the development of our section of the base will be a quick one, so don't get too attached to the space you have right now. I have work to do now, so off you go.'

With that, I exited his office and went down the halls to the place where I remember the residences were. It was longer than I remember the walk there as being. With the Commander, it had seemed shorter….. I stayed right on track, though I thought I was lost, but I didn't show it if anyone passed me. I felt so informal compared to the people around me. I wore my casual day clothes and they all wore the uniforms of HOLD.

'Give a good first impression. Show them you don't care who they are, just let them know that they should stay out of your way. You're Ryuhou, the strongest Alter User on all of HOLD!' Said my Alter side. I smiled discreetly and nodded to myself as I reached the door to the residence. I took a breath, and pushed the button for entry.

The door slid smoothly open and I strode across the room after quickly surveying the scene. Four beds, one made. I headed for that one. I took off my shirt, and slid into it, not caring what anyone said. This was my place, I belonged here now.

'You're supposed to knock, first.' Said a very cross male voice. 'Who do you think you are, anyway?' He demanded.

I was turned facing the wall. I didn't particularly feel like interacting right then. Hopefully, once the HOLY quarters were complete, I'd have a room to myself, but until then, I didn't want anything to do with these people. My father was right; all I wanted was to go off alone.

'Hey! I'm talking to you!'

'Ryuhou.' I said simply, raising a hand from the mattress.

'This is our dorm, so you'd better-'

'It's mine, too.' I said, tossing the note the Commander had given me to the floor with the flick of a wrist.

'Hey, you're going to work for HOLY? Hey! Guys! It's an Alter User! Ha!'

'What does it matter?' I said, turning over and leaning on an elbow. 'I hear from Commander Sigmar that there's already an Alter User here-'

WHACK!

Someone hit me, and hard, too. That was UN-called for! I recovered fairly quickly. The sparring with Zetsuei was already paying off.

'Hey, Alter-boy. So, you gonna work for HOLY too, huh? Well, you look out for me, then. Little kids shouldn't fight in a war.' Said a man who looked about twenty. I assumed he was Kukanaji, seeing as he was the only other Alter who was sharing the room with me.

'War?' I said incredulously. 'Is that what you think this is?'

'Without a doubt. Just look how well armed HOLD is. And now they're making a division made only from Alters? They're raking in all the power they can get. It's war alright, a war against the Native Alters!'

'Everyone who's not part of HOLY is a Native in your eyes then, is that it? In that case, you were a Native, too.'

WHACK!

So, it was him who hit me the first time. Again, I recovered swiftly.

'Damn, this kid just won't stay down.' Said someone from behind Kukanaji.

Kukanaji grabbed me by the hair and jerked my head back. 'Don't dick with me, you little fuck,' He said through gritted teeth. He shoved me back onto the bed. 'Say, how about you and I go….. out for a little chat? Just you, me and our Alters.'

Man, this guy was gruff. I very much doubted that their attitude had to do with my initial impression. All I did was come into the room and take up a bed. I did belong there after all. These people just seemed to have it in for me. I knew this attitude, I knew that they were prejudiced towards Alter Users….. even the one who was an Alter User himself. I wouldn't fight with him, not unless he gave me no other choice. He was, after all, a part of HOLY, and they had the same goal I did.


'Welcome, my fellows, to HOLY.'

There were seven of us standing in a neat row in front of Commander Sigmar. That morning I had escaped the less than pleasant company of my roommates and got to a semi-private, unused office where I put on the HOLY uniform for the first time. The office number was 286. I'd have to keep track of that office to see what happened to it in the future. It held almost sentimental value, for that was where I first stood in the black white and blue of the HOLY outfit, where the meaning of my life became perfectly clear.

'Thanks to our new, young officer, Ryuhou, HOLY is now officially a separate division from HOLD, and from this day forward, we will be acknowledged as an institution, and given funding thus. Therefore, Ryuhou, I make you the first member of HOLY, other than myself. Step forward, please.'

I moved a step forward from the line, eyes straight ahead. This felt like it should be very ceremonious, so I presented myself likewise. Sigmar came up to me, a small, clear plastic bag in one hand. He opened it slowly, deliberately, and gently took out the patch inside. Taking off the protective backing, he placed it squarely on my left arm and put his arm across his chest in the HOLD salute. I did the same.

'Dismissed, officer Ryuhou.' He said with a very slight smile.

I wasn't sure what to do or where to go after that. He said I was dismissed, but was I just supposed to walk away? I turned to my right, my eyes scanning passively over the crowd of people behind the six other people lined up behind me. Among the spectators was the entire HOLD board, as well as most of HOLD's upper command, several ranks of HOLD officers and even some of the general public who had read or otherwise heard the announcement of the initiation of HOLY that day.

I decided that the best decision was to stand at the Commander's side. He was, after all, my superior though, so I stood a step back from his position. I saw a silent chuckle run though his body before he announced who would become a part of HOLY next.

The others didn't seem to be arranged in any particular order, other than the fact that Emergy Maxfell went right after me. The others followed my lead, though, and lined up at the Commander's side, a little ways back from him. A whistle was blown and everyone stood at attention. The score of HOLD members saluted, and we returned it. The whistle blew two more long notes and the ranks broke off.

I was startled by a hand on my shoulder. 'Hey, kid, relax, it's all done.' Said one of the other HOLY members, Straight Cougar.

I shook his hand away. 'I can see full well that it's over. Also, it is not your place to call me kid, seeing as you are only a few months older than I am.'

'But I'm taller.' Said Cougar, puffing out his chest some. 'Besides, it's easier to call you kid than have to remember your name. It's Ruhou, right?'

'Ryuhou.'

'Yeah, sure. Any who, how long do you think it'll take them to get all of the good stuff up and running? I mean, some of the arenas and such look like they could be put to very good use indeed, and you know, they're even going to make a section in the lounge just for HOLY members. They could have just built HOLY their own lounge, but that would be a waste of time because the HOLD lounge is so big. Smart people they are, making it so there can be a lounge for the HOLY folk so quickly and efficiently. It would be even faster if they just gave the whole lounge to us here at HOLY and made a new one for themselves- are you listening?'

I blinked hard. I had to take a few more seconds once he finished to process what it was he had said. He spoke very fast, certainly, and it didn't sound like he spoke with any punctuation at all. 'Would you leave me alone if I said no?'

'Ha! You were listening! Anyway…..'

As he continued talking, I looked around at the other people socializing, and saw the Commander standing off to one side, overseeing the beginnings of the reception. Almost immediately forgetting about Cougar, I strode towards him, question in mind.

'Ah! Ryuhou. I saw you talking to Cougar. What do you think of things here so far?'

I decided to keep the incident with Kukanaji to myself. 'Organized. I guess everything will be carefully planned, now that HOLY is official.'

'You have a very serious attitude towards this. I admire that. I greatly look forward to seeing what we might achieve in HOLY with you here.'

I nodded, setting my mind on my question. I waited a moment before asking, giving space between topics. 'Commander, I was wondering…..'

'Yes?'

'When will standard business start? What I mean is, when will HOLY start going out on the field?'

'Eager to get started so soon, are you?'

'I am, absolutely. The only reason I'm here is to get retribution from the Natives.' Said my Alter side. What I said aloud was, 'Just wanting to know when I'll start work.'

The Commander grew more serious. 'Well…..' He began. 'You at first will stay and work from headquarters But that is only because you are currently the only member of HOLY who has no prior experience, like the others have with HOLD. We will train you for a few weeks, see how you fare in HOLD testing, and then we can send you out.'

I nodded, satisfied with the answer, but the Alter part of me wasn't satisfied at all. I needed to wait, but I should have gone straight away. This was no good at all. I was already far too antsy when it came to the topic of impressing justice on the Native Alters who have done so much wrong…..

I had to have patience. I knew that I would eventually bring them all to what they rightly deserved, and I would wait as long as I had to.