A/N- Sorry about the long update wait, but this is the kind of thing you need to have like, inspiration for or something. So yeah, this one is really weird, but Slughorn needed a song, ya know? He's kind of a blowhard, and seemed obsessed with Harry's mom, so this kind of makes fun of that. Anyway, read on and review!

Behind Blue Eyes- The Who

Massive Thighs- Professor Slughorn

No one knows what it's like
To be a fat man
To have a bad tan
And massive thighs

No one knows what it's like
Reinstated
To be fated
To teaching Dark Lord spies

But my potions
They aren't as useless
As my memories seems to be

Lily Evans, was my favorite
A gift for Potions
Just like Harry

No one knows what it's like
To feel its your fault:
Voldemort
Damn being short

No one has connections
The way I do
I am not a blowhard
I'll show you

But my potions
They aren't as useless
As my memories seems to be

Lily Evans, was my favorite
A gift for Potions
Just like Harry

When I buy mead, we'll crack it open
Before I give it to Dumbledore
Slytherin rocks, minus the blonde kid
Draco Malfoy's dad was a whore

If they try to make me be evil
Bring me back to the good side
I can make you some Felix Felicis
Still can't believe Harry's mom died

No one knows what it's like
To be a fat man
To have a bad tan
And massive thighs.