CHAPTER 5 RUTHIE

I hope Martin feels better today. If he does maybe we can hang out. Deciding that I'm going to go see if he's alright, I rise out of bed. I go down the stairs into the hallway. I see the twins running about and Mom and Dad talking about something. I go up to Mom and ask her if Martin is doing better. She tells me that he is, he hasn't thrown up since last night, and that she believes the worst of it is past. I walk toward his door and knock a couple of times. "Hey, you feeling better?" I say as I walk in.

He sits up, "Yeah I am feeling a lot better. You know Ruthie it has been two days since we went to the Promenade, you think it's been enough time to tell me who this guy is? I really want to know."

"Martin, I'll tell you when I'm ready. I really like this guy, and I just need to figure some things out first. Okay?"

"Fine but I don't have to like it."

"Don't worry about it okay, I might not ever even tell him. If I was to tell him and he didn't like me back I don't know if I could take it."

"Not that I want you going out with him, but Ruthie he'd be crazy not to like you back. You're pretty and smart, don't worry about a thing. It'll all work out."

"I thought you didn't want me to go out with him. What's changed?"

"Nothing I still don't you to go out with him. I just don't want you to ever doubt yourself."

"Thanks that means more to me than you'll ever know. Are you feeling up to the park? I thought I might take the twins here in a little while; you want to go with me? Maybe we could also get some ice cream while we're out."

"Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun. Why don't we go in about 10 minutes?"

"Okay. I'll go get the twins." I go out of Martin's room and into the boy's room. "Hey guys, do you want to go to the park with Martin and me? And we might stop for ice cream on the way home."

Both David and Sam jump up and down. "Yes we want to go. This will be so much fun!"

It's such a nice day we decide to walk to the park. Martin and I walk next to each other with Sam and David running in front of us. It's great. We're walking down the street side-by-side and for a little while it feels as though we are dating. We make small talk until we reach the park. There we sit down on the swings while the twins go and play on the merry-go-round. "I bet I can beat you off the jump." I kick of my sandals and start pumping my legs.

"Are you kidding Ruthie? There is no way you'll beat me. On the count of three…," we count together… "one….two….THREE…!" We both fly off the swing set and into the sand below. Needless to say he did beat me, but after all he's like a foot taller than I am. We sit there for a while; the warm sand feels nice against my feet. Finally he says, "See, I told you you couldn't beat me." Somehow I already knew that he was going to say it sooner or later.

"Well, you were right. Although you do have an unfair advantage, you're like a foot taller than me so of course you'll land farther away than I would."

He stands up and brushes the sand off of his pants. "Excuses, excuses, I beat you fair and square." He reaches out his hand to help me up. I take hold of it and a pull myself up. For a second I just hold onto his hand, when I realize that I'm still holding it I quickly let it go. I also brush off the sand and look around for my sandals; I pick them up and start walking toward a nearby picnic table.

"I love the feeling of bare feet on grass. It has to be one of my most favorite things in the world. That and ice cream." As I'm saying this the boys come over to us with red little faces, they look totally worn out.

"Can we get ice cream now?" says one and the other quickly follows with "yeah can we? Please?"

Martin stands up and says "Yes, but first you have to catch me…" and he takes off running. They start chasing him around. I just sit there for a little while and watch them. I never knew that being good with kids was such an attractive quality, but it is. I am so attracted to him right now. I watch him for a little while more and then I get up and chase him too. None of us can catch him though. Finally he slows to a steady jog and Sam tags him. "I got you, now we can get ice cream."

"Yep, you sure did, buddy. Let's go." I find it amazing that he's standing there huffing and puffing and he still makes the offer to David for a piggyback ride. I offer to Sam and we're off to the ice cream parlor. When we reach the parlor he asks us what each of us wants and tells us to find a table. We pick a table with a great big umbrella covering it. He comes back several minutes later with the ice cream cones.

We've been gone for quite a few hours it's past 4:00 pm. "Maybe we should head back home. What do you think, Martin?"

"Sounds like a plan. Let's go." Finally we arrive back home. "This was a lot of fun, I'm glad you thought of it. But now I'm kinda pooped, I think I'm going to go take a nap."

"That doesn't sound like a half bad idea. I think I will as well."

I wake up and it's after 6:00 pm. I go down to the kitchen to see what we're having for dinner. But rather than Mom I find Lucy and Kevin. "Kevin, can I talk to Lucy alone for a little while. I need to talk to her."

"You know, you can talk to me too, right? I'm always here."

"Thanks, and I know. But this isn't something you can help me with. It's about a boy."

"Say no more. I'll be in the apartment 'kay Luce?"

"Yeah, okay."

Right as he shuts the kitchen door Lucy is already asking me what's up. "Well, it's about the boy we were talking about the other day. I'm going to tell you who it is, but you can't tell anyone, especially Kevin, okay?

"Okay, I won't tell Kevin."

"Or anyone else. Promise me Luce."

"I promise. Now come on spill the beans who is it?"

"I hope I'm not making a mistake telling you this, but I have to tell someone. You know what; let's go outside where less people can accidentally hear us." We go out on the back porch and sit on the steps. "It's Martin."

"Where's Martin?" She turns around and looks for him.

"No, I'm not saying I see Martin, I'm saying the guy I like…. the guy I like is Martin." A grin comes across her face, a smirk that can only be described as a Lucy grin. "I like him so much it makes my stomach hurt. I can't think, I can't sleep, and I dream about him almost every night. I've spent that last few days with him, and Luce, I loved every second, even when he was puking up his guts. I think about our children and what a good father he would be to them. I had a dream about our wedding…" She interrupts me.

"Ruthie, I knew it! I knew that he was too cute to live in our house. I didn't know you'd like him this much though. I thought it would be a fling like Robbie and I had while he lived with us. Ruthie, tell me the truth, are you in love with him?"

"I don't know. I'm 15, how am I supposed to know what love feels like. I've never even dated a boy before. But if love means you feel sick to your stomach when you're with him, but some how you feel even worse when you're not with him. And he's all you think about all the time, even when you're asleep. And you look at him and see a husband, a father, a friend. Then yes, I love him. I love him very much.

"Eeeee… this is so exciting. So are you going to tell him? You owe it to him to tell him."

"But what if he still thinks of me like a sister? I'm so afraid Luce, so afraid. I don't know if I can take that kind of rejection."

"I've seen the way he looks at you. I've heard the way he talks to you. Ruthie I know in my heart that he feels the same way you do. Why don't you go tell him?"

"Not yet. And Luce, you can't tell him either, you promised me. I want to get really close to him first. I think being best friends with him first will really help the relationship along. I really want this to work out between us. I love him. Plus it would be totally weird living in the same house as him if we broke up." I'll tell him, when the time is right.

To be continued…

Author's Notes:

Chapter 6 should be up in a couple of days