"OH MY GOD, Girlfriend! We now return to Oprah!"
-Oprah walks onstage- "Hello everyone, Hello! We have a special guest today, but remember, HE'S NOT AS SPPPPEECCIALLL AS MEEEEEE!"
The audience claps.
-Eggman walks in-
Oprah looked amazed. "My, you are a fat one, aren't you?"
"I consider myself 'big-boned,'" said Eggman.
"Ha! Right, listen to me, Girlfriend! The only thing big-boned in here is MY WAAALLLET!"
The audience claps.
"That doesn't even make any sense," Eggman said annoyed.
"Shut up! Now let's talk about your poor lifestyle."
"I'm not poor, I'm middle class!" Eggman said angrily.
"Well, Girlfriend, it's considered poor to MEEEEEEE!"
The audience claps.
"Why does your audience keep clapping?"
The audience claps.
"Well, Girlfriend, it's because before the show, I gave them all BRAND NEW CAAAARRRRRRSSSS!"
"Why?" Eggman asked confused.
"Because I have so much money that I have to give it all to my audience!" Oprah said while throwing out bags of money to the audience.
"Then don't you feel like the only reason these people are coming to your show is for the free stuff?"
"Listen to me, you fat egg thing! These people come here because they love me, OKAY GIRLFRIEND!"
"I'm scared," Eggman said while eating a pizza.
"Shut up! Now tell me about your life," Oprah said with picking a diamond out of her nose.
"Well, I spend most of my time trying to kill a pesky hedgehog named Sonic, and..."
"Stop!" Oprah interrupted. "I'm going to give you YOUR OWN LINE OF VIDEOGAMES!"
"Really?" Eggman said with excitement. "I'm so happy!" -Eggman pulls out a giant ham and starts eating-
"That's right, Girlfriend, I'm going to give you 'Eggman Adventure,' 'Eggman Advance,' and your own movie called 'Fatass: the motion picture.'"
"Yay!" Eggman said in happiness.
The audience claps.
"Okay, Girlfriend, I heard you were working on a summer project."
"Why do you keep calling me girlfriend?" Eggman asked annoyed.
"Because I'm Oprah, and I can do whatever I want to, dammit! Now tell me about your got damn summer project!"
"...Okay...Well...I...Um."
"You know what, just shut up, and take this 1000 dollar bill!"
"Okay!" Eggman said ecstatically, taking the 1000 dollar bill.
-A woman from audience comes up-
"Oprah, can I have a crumb of bread or maybe a quarter, so I can feed me and my 4 children?" said the woman.
"Who the hell are you!?" said Oprah. "You know what, I'm going to sue you for everything you're worth! HA!"
The audience claps.
"Why are you people clapping? She's going to sue this poor woman," Eggman said in turmoil.
The audience claps.
"Well, Girlfriends, that's all the time we have for today, but do you know what?! After the show, I'M GIVING AWAY FREE ORPHANS!"
"Can I have some more money?" Eggman asked.
-Oprah explodes and money comes flying out everywhere-
"...Okay...I just wanted a few more bucks. She didn't need to go and explode."
-Guests of the Oprah Winfrey Show stayed in a beautiful dumpster behind Oprah's Mansion-
A/N: Credit for this chapter goes to Mad TV's portrayal of Oprah.
(Eggman has survived Oprah's talk show, but how will he do on the Lizzie McGuire Show? Find out next chapter.)
