Welcome To The Spira News!

Again, those chocobos have started run loose after Wakka threw his blitzball at them. They have already taken over the Temple in Besaid and Keepa is the only one who is there to fight. Yeah, Keepa is our hero. We're gonna die. Auron went on a mad killing spree with his Masamune after he found out that the booze supply in Luca has run out. This is due to Bickson and the other Luca Goers.

Oh! Rikku's done it again! This time, she's done 'Melodies of Life'!

Ymuha vun yfrema

E'ja paah caylrehk drnuikr tyng

Vun dnylac uv dra muja oui mavd

Ehceta so muhamo raynd

Du fayja po belgehk ib dra bealac dryd nasyeh

Samuteac uv Meva, muja'c mucd navnyeh

Uin bydrc fa tet lnucc, huf E lyhhud cyo zicd fro

Fa sad, fa myikrat, fa ramt uh vycd

Yht drah fa cyet kuutpoa

Yht fru'mm rayn dra alruac uv cduneac hajan dumt

Mad dras nehk uid muit 'demm drao ihvumt

Eh so taynacd sasuneac

E caa oui naylrehk uid du sa

Druikr oui'na kuha

E cdemm pameaja dryd oui lyh lymm

Uid so hysa

Y juela vnus dra bycd

Zuehehk ouinc yht seha

Yttehk ib dra myoanc uv rynsuho

Yht cu ed kuac uh yht uh

Samuteac uv Meva

Du dra cgo paouht dra vmoehk pentc

Vunajan yht paouht

Wow... Rikku's great! Looks like Tidus has been fighting more creatures at the Arena! He got beaten by the Cactuar King! That little shrimp? Here I thought he'd be this huge bastard! And Fenrir? FORGET ABOUT IT! Aw, look! Deim and Larbeight are walking together! Wait! No! Get the hell away from there, Bickson! You suck! You're gay! I feel sorry for Doram! She loves you, you stupid gay Luca Goers midfielder! Actually, Ronso Fangs jerk! Ronso Fangs are no longer Ronso, as for some STUPID reason, they fired their last Ronso, Gazna. Now what are they? The Luca Fangs, 'cause they got at least three of the Luca Goers? And as for the Goers? They've gone Guado! The Ronso are spread around... The Aurochs have Argai. Who gives a crap where the others are!

Oh, and the Luca Goers are hogging that hot babe, Linna! Those asshats!

Random Things in Besaid? Yuna fell down the stairs in the temple, Wakka fell out of a tree, Keepa went back to drinking, Datto can still learn any move, Botta is a loser, Jassu kicked Luzzu out of the tent, and Tidus ate a Dingo.

Random Things in Kilika? Nothing, 'cause they suck! Wait, Nizarut is still mad about no one wanting to sign him 'cause he sucks!

Random Things in Luca? Bickson is gay, Auron is mad about the booze shortage, Zev Ronso is with the Kilika Beasts, and Wedge won't leave the Aurochs.

Oh? Time's up? Oh well... here's a movie sphere:

Wakka is seen dancing with the Besaid Aurochs. Tidus is eating another Dingo. Lulu is chasing Kimahri after he stole her One MP cost Cactuar Doll, Rikku is practicing her next big Al Bhed hit, Yuna fell down the stairs again, Auron is still mad and has now started a petition to get more booze, and Deim and Larbeight are... oh! Let's keep that a secret, ya?

To Be Continued...

Things to ponder... What if Seymour played Blitzball? How many Dingos can Tidus eat? Does he wash them down with a Water Flan? Is Rikku a 'Lindsay Lohan' wannabe? Will Auron succeed in getting more booze? Why won't the Luca Goers give up Linna? She's hot! She boils the water in the sphere! She melts the ice in Macalania!

...Whatever.