A/N: Thank you for the reviews, everyone. New summary! I wanted to take a more serious approach to this story. Everything's just too flat out, now that I think about it. But it's still the same story, save for the summary. Dammit, I didn't want to make Rinoa so OOC so early … it was meant to be a slow process -.- But don't worry folks, she'll return to normal … somehow … I hope…

Lost Memories of my Love

Chapter 14 – The Game

Rinoa kept her hand on the receiver and hung her head. Why? Why couldn't she reach him? It had to be the right number. It was. She remembered Squall even putting it in her phone memory for her. But then why? Why had it been the wrong number?

Rinoa's grip tightened on the receiver until her knuckles turned white. She was not sad anymore, she was angry. She was damn right pissed. Already she blamed the whole incident on Ashleigh. It had to be her. There was no other logical explanation. She didn't even begin to think how Ashleigh could have caused the whole thing; she just knew it was her fault.

Rinoa finally decided to leave the phone booth. She made her way back to the Caraway house, but decided against it. She wanted to enjoy the fresh air one more time before being locked up in the house again.

She walked to the Deling Bridge that spread above the road. She walked up the stairs, the cold metal of the railing tingling against her fingers. She stood at the top, looking down at the busy city by night. Images of Squall ran through her mind again. She remembered the time when Edea had used an ice strike at him whilst he was trying to rescue her … she remembered that time when he fell off this very bridge.

'No … Squall!'

A shiver ran down Rinoa's spine. The memory seemed so real … she thought she saw Squall falling from the bridge with icicles pierced through his chest.

The cool night breeze tickled her skin, blowing her long hair backwards. Rinoa leaned on the railing, staring down. It was so high up … she was tempted to jump and see what would happen. She had never been afraid of heights, in fact, she loved heights. She would always imagine what it would have been like to fall from a high place … to feel the air rushing past her. Half the time she expected to sprout angel wings and fly away … fly somewhere else.

Rinoa's thoughts were broken when she felt someone tap her on the back. She turned around and found nobody behind her, but she looked down to find a young girl of about ten or eleven years of age in tattered clothing. She had ashen skin and messy red hair, tied into two pigtails on either side of her head. Rinoa knew straight away that this girl was a homeless girl and immediately she felt sorry for the child. She always cursed the president for not doing a thing about the poverty in the city.

"Hello there," said Rinoa, bending down to reach eye level with the girl. "What's wrong?"

"My … my mum told me to tell you that it's dangerous out here at night," said the girl, her voice quivering.

Rinoa smiled warmly. "That's very sweet of you. But it's okay … I've been up here before."

The girl didn't say anything.

"What's your name?" asked Rinoa.

"…Sierra."

"What a pretty name," said Rinoa, "My name is Rinoa. I live right here in Deling."

"You have nice clothes," said Sierra.

Rinoa's smile became a sad one. "Thank you…"

"I've never seen you before," said Sierra. "Where do you live?"

"I live … near the Caraway residence," said Rinoa.

"I live on the bridge," said Sierra. She said the words with pride.

"Oh, you're very lucky then," said Rinoa, smiling, "The view from the bridge is so pretty…"

"Yes, but I'm always hungry," said Sierra.

Rinoa looked into the girl's brown innocent eyes carefully. With Sierra's misfortune, Rinoa sensed hope for the girl's future. "Do you ever get lonely?"

The girl shook her head. "I'm never lonely. My mum looks after me. I don't have a dad. But big brother comes to visit me sometimes."

"That's nice," said Rinoa. The girl might have been poor, the girl might have been hungry … but she was never lonely. To Rinoa, Sierra was a rich person, and it was Rinoa who was the poor girl. "Well, Sierra, remember this. Whenever you're hungry, don't think about food. Think about your mum and your big brother. Thoughts of them will fill you up."

Sierra cocked her head in curiosity. Rinoa knew the girl did not understand, but one day she would.

Rinoa stood up and handed Sierra the thirty gil she was going to use on her phone call.

"Gil?" said Sierra, not yet accepting the money in Rinoa's hand.

Rinoa nodded. "It's not much, but it's all I have. Buy yourself and your mother something to eat."

"But what about you?" asked Sierra.

"I have lots of food at home," said Rinoa. But I'm always alone … this money was meant to buy me a conversation with the people I loved…

Sierra hesitated, but then accepted Rinoa's money. "Thank you, big sister Rinoa."

Rinoa smiled. For once, she was glad to be called big sister.

"Go on, buy yourself something … and get some sleep," said Rinoa.

Sierra grinned, dimples forming in her cheeks. Her smile lit a fire in Rinoa's heart, it made her feel warm. The girl ran away screaming, "Ma, ma! Big sister Rinoa gave me money!"

Rinoa smiled to herself and knew that her saved money hadn't gone to waste after all. She turned around and withdrew from the bridge, heading home before anybody noticed that she was gone.

---

Rinoa stirred at a quiet tapping sound. She ignored it at first and went back to sleep. However, she woke up with a start when she realised that the sound was the pushing of buttons … cell phone buttons. She looked over at Ashleigh's bed and found that she was playing with Rinoa's phone.

"What are you doing?" demanded Rinoa.

Ashleigh jumped in shock and looked at Rinoa, panicking that she was caught in the act. She didn't say anything.

"Why are you going through my phone?" asked Rinoa forcefully. She stopped and wondered if Ashleigh had caught her the previous night. "…So it was your fault, wasn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Ashleigh. She did sound convincing, but Rinoa didn't buy it at all.

Rinoa got out of bed and snatched her phone from Ashleigh's hands. She looked at the screen and found that it was off. She must have switched it off as soon as I caught her.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," said Rinoa, beginning to make her bed. The thought had occurred to her. "You've been doing this every night, haven't you?"

"I'm not that sad," said Ashleigh.

Rinoa was certain that it was a lie. The look on Ashleigh's face said so otherwise. Her evil stepsister had been going through cell phone at night and must have deleted all messages from her friends … nighttime in Deling was a convenient waking hour for her friends.

Rinoa turned around and glared at Ashleigh. "You … you changed Laguna's number!"

"What?" said Ashleigh, a look of genuine surprise on her face. "I did no such thing."

"Don't fricking lie!" said Rinoa, losing control of her temper completely. "Don't lie. I'm sick of your lying. Just … just stop lying."

"I'm not lying, dear Rinoa-san," spat Ashleigh, getting out of her bed. "I never changed your precious Laguna's phone number."

Rinoa didn't believe Ashleigh. She didn't know why she ever believed Ashleigh in the first place, ever since she walked into the front door.

"And how would you know?" demanded Ashleigh, "How would you know the number was different if you weren't able to call anybody? Why would I bother if I know you can't?"

Rinoa's anger drained and suddenly she became nervous. She just gave herself away – she just gave away the fact that she had sneaked out at some stage to call Squall. If Ashleigh figured it out … she would tell Sera … and Sera could do anything

Goddamit, that bitch Sera, thought Rinoa.

"Unless…" Ashleigh was already beginning to figure it out. "You tried calling Squall … and it didn't work. You tried calling Squall…"

"No, that's not it—" Rinoa quickly tried to make up an excuse, but nothing came to mind.

"Mo-ther!" Ashleigh bolted out the door, ready to dob on Rinoa.

Rinoa swore to herself silently. She wasn't sure how she was going to get out of this one. If Sera took her cell phone away from her then all hope was lost. She didn't know what to do. Rinoa clutched her phone and thought about jumping out the window and just running away, but that wasn't going to do anything for her.

So she just sat on the bed. She sat on her bed and waited for Sera to come storming in and to do something bad. There was just no point in resisting anymore – Sera and Ashleigh were always going to win. There was never a time where Rinoa won, it was always her admitting defeat.

As if on cue, Sera and Ashleigh came back into the bedroom. Ashleigh wore a triumphant smile on her face and Sera looked cross and happy at the same time.

"Ashleigh has told me you've been sneaking out to call the Loire boy," said Sera.

Rinoa was about to lie and say no – but what was the point? Sera was going to make up some excuse and do something bad anyway.

"Yeah?" said Rinoa carelessly. She might have admitted defeat but she might as well have sounded proud.

"Ah, so you admit it, do you?" said Sera.

"Yeah?" Rinoa said again in the same careless tone.

Sera smirked. "It's about time you quit lying. You know you'll always lose."

"That's right," said Rinoa, "I'm always going to lose."

Sera somehow did not find any satisfaction with Rinoa agreeing with her. She expected some sort of emotional outburst – anger, screaming, crying … but she didn't get it. She was always looking forward to telling Caraway how stubborn his daughter was, but this time it was different.

"But I won't quit lying," added Rinoa with a careless smile. She knew very well that she had never lied to Sera before … well not that she could remember. But Rinoa knew that her ignorance was annoying her stepmother very much.

Sera really didn't know what to say. She decided to ignore her last remark and cut to the chase. "Hand over your phone."

This time, Rinoa didn't want to agree. She wanted to keep her phone … she didn't want to hand over her cell.

"What's the point?" asked Rinoa, "I don't even call Squall with it. If that's what you're afraid of."

"I'm not afraid of anything," snapped Sera, "Give me the phone."

Rinoa thought about her own words. She didn't even call Squall with it … she wasn't able to. What was the point of keeping it? She didn't even really use it on anybody but Squall and the others anyway … and they were gone now. So what was the point of keeping it? In case of emergency? In some life-threatening issue? It didn't matter, nobody would've cared if she died in a fire or was stranded on Cactuar Island anyway. She didn't even care. All hope was lost anyway.

Hope. She believed in hope so much. Hope let her down. Hope was crushed by Ashleigh and Sera. Hope was dead. There was no hope for her now … she already lost the game. She lost the game long ago … she lost the game as soon as it began, as soon as Sera and Ashleigh ever came into her life.

A game. That was all this was. It didn't matter if she lost anyway … it was just a game. A game with stupid rules and an even more stupid referee. Hyne, she never even wanted to play the stupid game.

So Rinoa gave in. She didn't try anymore. She didn't try resisting anymore because her hope of winning was lost. In fact, she already knew she lost. So why try to change the past? It couldn't happen. There was no such thing as a replay in this game.

"You know what?" said Rinoa, "Fine, I'll get rid of the stupid phone."

Again, Sera did not find any satisfaction with Rinoa's reaction. Perhaps she had won this round, but the game wasn't any fun if Rinoa kept on surrendering. She wanted to see Rinoa struggle, resist … she wanted to see how far her stepdaughter would go. She wanted her to suffer.

Suffer? Why did she want her to suffer? The thought never occurred to her. Maybe she was just evil. But there was something about Rinoa that she did not like … ever since she met the girl, she did not like her. Perhaps it was the fact that she had to share Caraway with her. Perhaps it was the fact that Caraway loved Rinoa more than he loved her. Perhaps it was that Caraway did not even see Ashleigh as his daughter. And she couldn't bear the fact that Rinoa was in the picture. The girl wasn't even grateful for her father and what he did for her. She was blind, and when Caraway would die, he would hand his fortune down to the girl he loved most … Rinoa.

"I don't need it anyway," spat Rinoa. She lifted her hand with her cell in it and threw it on the floor with great force. The delicate device shattered at first contact with the floor, but there were huge chunks of metal everywhere. Rinoa stepped on the remains in anger, as if treating the device as if it were Sera. She might have given the phone up, but she wasn't going to give the satisfaction to Sera of her taking it and making herself feel powerful. Oh no, Rinoa destroyed the thing herself – it wasn't Sera's act of power at all.

Sera smirked. This was a sign that Rinoa had not given up playing the game entirely. In her mind, Rinoa had won this round … but one round didn't make a difference. At least she was awarded one point for making the girl surrender her cell.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" asked Sera with a smirk. She turned around and left the room without another word.

Ashleigh stared at the broken gadget on the floor, then looked up at Rinoa. She pulled a smug look as she watched Rinoa walk to the window and gaze out of it, as if in a trance.

Suddenly, Ashleigh heard the sound of the postman's motorcycle pull over at the house. She glanced out the window and found that she was right. Silently, she walked out of the room and brushed past Seifer, who happened to have been dropping by for free food. She rushed outside and took the bundle of letters in her hands, flipping through them to see if there was anything for her.

"Caraway … Caraway … junk … bill … bill…" Ashleigh murmured to herself, shuffling the letters. "Caraway … junk…" She came to a halt as she read the fine print on the airmail envelope. "Rinoa?"

The stamp was an Estharian stamp with a picture of some landmark or other. She flipped it to the other side to the return address. 'Squall Leonheart, Presidential Residence, Esthar.'

A smirk spread across Ashleigh's face as she opened the envelope carefully, unfolding the fine paper, as she began to read the neat handwriting on the letter.

Dear Rinoa,

How are you? Esthar is pretty good, but it's no fun without you. Laguna is…

"Is there anything for me?"

Ashleigh jumped in surprise. She forgot that she left the front door open, and Rinoa had left the house to retrieve the mail. Ashleigh folded up the paper and kept a straight face on. She walked past Rinoa and back into the house saying, "No there's nothing for you."

Rinoa raised an eyebrow and something told her not to believe what her stepsister said. She turned around and went back inside the house, watching as Ashleigh set all the mail on the counter except for one.

"What about that one?" asked Rinoa, closing the door behind her.

"It's for me," said Ashleigh, holding the letter close to her chest. She headed up the stairs, and Rinoa followed, not convinced.

"Who is it from?" asked Rinoa suspiciously, following Ashleigh into their bedroom.

"A friend," said Ashleigh, getting annoyed that Rinoa stalking her.

Rinoa narrowed her eyes as Ashleigh sat on the bed and began to read the letter silently, as if Rinoa wasn't there.

Rinoa walked past Ashleigh's bed casually pretending to go to her own bed. But as she walked past, she snatched the envelope that was on the bed facedown. Ashleigh jumped with a start and turned around.

Rinoa read the envelope and her anger boiled when she saw that the addressee was Rinoa. She turned the letter around and she became even angrier when she found out the letter was from Squall.

"You lied," said Rinoa, her hand clutching the envelope in anger. "Give me my letter!" She dived at Ashleigh and tried to snatch the piece of paper from Ashleigh, but Ashleigh had jumped off the bed, causing Rinoa to fall face first on the bed.

Rinoa got up angrily and stomped after Ashleigh down the hallway. Ashleigh kept glancing behind her, and she was very determined to not let Rinoa get the letter.

"Give it to me!" shouted Rinoa, trying to snatch the letter again.

Ashleigh pulled the letter out of Rinoa's reach, turned around and ran the other way. She didn't know where to go next – she couldn't keep up the chase forever. She didn't want to rip it up because she wanted to read the letter before destroying it, but now that Rinoa caught onto her game, she didn't know what else to do.

Rinoa turned around and charged after Ashleigh. The younger girl glanced over Rinoa's shoulder and found Seifer coming out of his bedroom.

"Seifer!" yelled Ashleigh.

Seifer looked up and found the two girls looking like they wanted to kill each other. Ashleigh threw the piece of paper over Rinoa's head, and it slid across the floor at Seifer's feet. Curious, the young man picked up the piece of paper, unfolded it and skim-read through it.

Rinoa turned around. "Seifer! Please give me the letter?" She walked up to her stepbrother after Ashleigh yelled out, "No, don't give it to her!"

Seifer blinked and had a careless expression on his face. He turned around, pretending that Rinoa hadn't followed him, and went into his room, and continued reading the letter.

Rinoa ran into his room after him, not knowing what he was doing. She desperately wanted the letter back … she had to read it…

"Seifer?" said Rinoa.

Ashleigh entered the room. "Don't give it to her," she hissed again.

Seifer shrugged and folded the letter up – into a paper aeroplane. He walked out onto the balcony of the room and stood there for a second, looking out at sunny scene before him. As Rinoa ran after him, he aimed the paper plane out into the backyard and threw the piece of paper from the balcony.

"No!" cried Rinoa, running off onto the railing of the balcony. She watched as the letter soared against the wind, growing further and further away. Distressed, Rinoa pushed past a triumphant-looking Ashleigh and ran down the stairs and to the backdoor. She pushed it open and was surprised that somebody had left the door open.

Shrugging the fact off, she rushed into the vibrant garden and began searching distraughtly for the fallen letter. She looked under every plant – but she knew that looking under ever plant would have taken a lifetime. She looked on all the branches of the trees and got down on her hands on knees, fiddling around in the dirt to look for the piece of paper.

After fifteen minutes of continuous searching, Rinoa gave up. The garden was far too vast and the letter could have been anywhere. For all she knew, it might have floated over the fence … or flew far, far away…

Rinoa sighed and got up on both feet, brushing the dirt off her knees and shorts. She looked up at Seifer, who was still standing on the balcony, watching Rinoa struggle in amusement.

"Why…?" asked Rinoa sadly, "Why didn't you give me the letter?" She found it odd that Seifer had done what he did. It wasn't like him to listen to the likes of Ashleigh and make her miserable the way Ashleigh did. Seifer always did what Rinoa asked him to … why was this time any different? Then the way she put it made her feel guilty. He always did what she asked her. He was a good brother to her … not once did he do something against her. Maybe this was his way of saying he was sick of it. Maybe he was tired of being Rinoa's dog.

But, there was a sting of guilt clinging onto Seifer on the inside, but he didn't let it show. He wasn't going to say he was sorry, either. "Ashleigh told me to do it."

"So?" said Rinoa, her voice becoming forceful.

Seifer was put in an awkward position. He knew he did something wrong, but he just couldn't say sorry. "And Hyne knows what's going to happen to me if Sera finds out." He knew that wasn't the entire truth. Was it because … he really didn't want Rinoa to receive the letter? Not to make her miserable, but…

Rinoa narrowed her eyes. The reason still did not make any sense to her. Seifer was never afraid of what Sera or Ashleigh did to him. He was never afraid of them. In fact, he loved it when they got angry with him … she knew he found satisfaction every time he made them mad.

"You wouldn't have liked what it said anyway," said Seifer carelessly. That … that was a lie, and he knew it. He turned around and walked back into his room without another word.

Rinoa stood there, stunned. I wouldn't like what it said? The thought throbbed in her head. She was afraid … what could have happened?

A/N: Okay. So there's no Deling Bridge (I don't think so anyway) … but hey, this is fanfiction, where anything could happen! Hehe. Well, thanks for your reviews and keep them coming :)