A/N: Thanks for all your support, and sorry it took me so long to update! I promise I'll update sooner next time :) In the mean time, enjoy this chapter :)

Lost Memories of my Love

Chapter 24 – Little Sister

Rinoa found herself in the car once again, for another car trip. Squall had collected himself and hadn't said a word for quite a while. It was two o'clock in the afternoon and she was starving. She hadn't eaten a thing all day – but she didn't want to say anything.

"Are you hungry?" asked Squall, as if reading her mind.

Rinoa looked at Squall, who was still concentrating on the road. She shook her head. "It's nothing."

"So you're hungry?" asked Squall.

Rinoa shook her head. "I'm fine." She didn't want to trouble Squall. Not yet anyway.

"I can hear your stomach rumbling from over here," said Squall, "It's not good to skip meals."

"Oh?" said Rinoa.

"Yes," said Squall, nodding sincerely, "My SeeD training does cover little things like these…"

Rinoa looked at him curiously. "You're a SeeD?"

Squall nodded. "Was. I was the commander of the Balamb forces, too. I still like to look at myself as one, though."

"Oh, what happened?" asked Rinoa.

"SeeD stopped doing things for me," said Squall shortly. "I realised that I couldn't live following someone else's orders for the rest of my life."

Rinoa nodded. "True. That's very wise."

He was about to say that Rinoa taught him about having to follow orders. I'd better stop speaking about it … I'm sure Sierra is becoming uneasy listening about my stupid emotional life…

"Wow! That's beautiful," said Rinoa, looking out Squall's window.

Squall glanced out the window. "Oh, that's Deling Bridge."

"Deling?" said Rinoa in shock, "You never said we were in Deling!"

Squall smirked. "Well, there, I said it."

"Can we go out and see the bridge?" asked Rinoa pleadingly, "Please? Pretty please?"

Squall snickered. "All right…" He couldn't ignore the Rinoa-like-pleadingness. He pulled over and parked the car, and watched Rinoa get out like an excited four-year-old on her first trip to the beach.

He locked the door and followed Rinoa towards the steps that led up to the bridge. He watched Rinoa run up and couldn't help but remember that this bridge was the last place where he saw her alive for the last time. Just feeling the coldness of the metal railing brought back intense memories … seeing the pool of blood on the road … the ripped photograph…

As he reached the top, he walked toward Rinoa, who was leaning on the edge, staring out into Deling City with an utter look of amazement on her face.

"It's beautiful," she whispered, as Squall came up next to her.

Squall nodded in silent agreement. "It's a lot better at night…"

Rinoa smiled. "I wish I could live here…"

"You could … I mean, if you wanted to," said Squall, fumbling with words all of a sudden. "Caraway … I mean, General Caraway wouldn't mind you staying … I mean, you'd have to ask him, but…"

Rinoa giggled, but her light-hearted giggles faded very quickly as she became serious again. "I know … but…"

Squall scratched the back of his head. Damn … why am I slipping up like this?

"…My home is Trabia," said Rinoa, feeling a cool breeze brush against her skin. "And I would love to live here … but the people here … General Caraway … he would be … pained to see me."

"No … he wouldn't," said Squall slowly.

Rinoa smiled weakly to herself. "Wouldn't he…? I'm … I'm just really afraid…" She paused. "That everyone who meets me will be sad. I don't want everyone to know me as 'Rinoa' … I want them to know me as Sierra…"

Squall admitted defeat again. She was right. It was undoubtedly true that she looked very much like Rinoa, talked very much like Rinoa, and acted very much like Rinoa. It was hard for anyone to believe that she wasn't Rinoa. He tried not to remember the scene back at the Caraway house where his emotions just got the best of him … but he was sure that if any of his friends were to see her again, things would be very much the same.

There was silence between the two of them as they simply stared out into the horizon of the afternoon. A lot of things were on each other's minds.

"Rinoa?"

Squall turned around, hearing the name. He knew it wasn't Rinoa's voice, but someone had definitely said her name. He found a teenage girl standing there, staring at the two of them against the bridge.

Rinoa also turned around. Here we go again…

The girl looked about seventeen years of age. She had ashen skin and long, silky red hair that fell on her shoulders. Her eyes were sea-blue with innocence. She was holding giant boards tucked under her arm in her right hand. Her clothes were worn down and dirty, and it took Squall a short while to figure out that she was poverty-stricken.

"It is you … big sister Rinoa," said the girl, staring at Rinoa. "I thought you were … dead."

Squall said nothing. Was she a friend of Rinoa's from childhood? Or something?

"I'm sorry, I'm not Rinoa," said Rinoa with a weak smile. The girl was almost her height.

"What?" said the girl in shock. She looked at Squall. "You, sir … is she…?"

Squall shook his head. "I thought the same thing. She isn't Rinoa."

"Oh?" said the girl, looking taken aback. "I-I'm sorry for my rudeness…" She curtsied politely and began to walk off in a fluster.

"Wait," called Squall.

The girl stopped and slowly turned back. "Y-Yes?"

"Come here … um … please," said Squall, not knowing how else to act with teenagers.

The girl came back with a shy and embarrassed look on her face.

"How do you … know Rinoa?" asked Squall.

"Oh … um," said the girl, her hands behind her back in a shy position, "She came around here once in a while before she ... left. She ... she was always sad, but I would try to comfort her sometimes. She would give me money, to help support my family. I just … called her big sister from then…"

She was always sad?

"How do you earn money now?" asked Rinoa quietly.

"Oh, well," said the girl, "I try to sell artwork. I also try to help around in the coal mines until the men would kick me out … but … at least I can scab a bit of charcoal once in a while…" She seemed to show no shame in what she did. Rinoa admired her way of speaking, as she could tell that the girl was trying not to make people feel sorry for her.

"May we see the artwork you're selling?" asked Rinoa.

The girl nodded. She pulled out the giant boards she was holding and stood them up on the ground, supporting them with her hands so they wouldn't fall and get ruined.

Rinoa skimmed through the boards and noted how beautiful they were. Every last piece of artwork was drawn down to the very detail, every stroke and line and colour counted. They remind me of Marcel's sister's art…

"Who drew all of these?" asked Rinoa, looking through the boards.

"Um … I did," said the girl, trying to sound modest.

"Wow!" said Rinoa, "You're … really good! Like … really good! I know someone who draws just as good as this…"

The girl blushed at the complimenting.

"Stop there," said Squall suddenly.

Rinoa looked at him curiously. He was staring at the canvas that Rinoa was up to. It was a colour picture of the profile of a girl, sitting down with her knees huddled up to her chest and her eyes closed, in a beautiful flower field. White wings came from her back, making her look like an angel. A sad angel.

"Who is that?" asked Squall.

"Oh … that's big sister Rinoa," said the girl slowly, "I drew one for her but my big brother made another copy and enlarged it for me so I could sell it…"

It was just as he thought. As soon as he saw that picture, it was undoubtedly Rinoa. If he had seen this picture six years ago, he would have declined the fact that it was Rinoa. She was angelic, but she definitely wasn't gloomy like that. But when this girl said that she was always sad … it changed what he believed…

"I'll buy it," said Squall. "How much?"

"Well … my work starts from fifty gil for two…"

Squall pulled out his wallet and handed her a crisp fifty thousand-gil note. This piece of artwork was worth a lot more than that…

"I-I-I said fifty gil!" she said, mortified at the huge sum of money in her hand.

Rinoa smiled weakly.

"Take it," said Squall, taking the framed canvas, "Take it and support your family."

"B-But…"

"What, it's not enough for you?" said Squall, not meaning to snap, "I'll make it a hundred thousand if you want."

"N-No, it's not that!" said the girl.

"Just take it," whispered Rinoa, knowing too well how 'generous' Squall was.

Sierra nodded quickly, her face stiff with shock. "Th-thank you very much, sir." She quickly collected her work. "Thank you … it means a lot to me…"

As she was about to leave, Squall stopped her once again. "Wait. Please tell me one more thing."

The girl looked at Squall, her innocent eyes filled with curiosity.

"Why … why was Rinoa always sad?" he asked, almost hesitantly.

Rinoa prepared herself for the worst.

"Well … um…" Sierra wiped the dirt from her face. It was obvious she had just come from the coalmines. "She was sad because … things were always rough at home for her. Her friends had left, and whenever she came out here, it was always to try to contact a man named Squall. She seemed very pleasant, but … I could feel the hurt inside of her. The way she spoke gave it all away."

A man named Squall? This information was coming out way too quickly for Squall to process. He hadn't even heard of her being sad and troubled. Rinoa was never sad … but not being able to contact him? Was that really a reason why she was sad? He would always think that he was never giving Rinoa enough, that he wasn't good enough for her. It was finally confirmed that he was right. But what troubled him most was that she had never told him. She never hesitated to speak what was on her mind … what happened? Things had changed more than he had thought. He didn't know Rinoa at all. He felt like a failure.

Squall was silent for a long time, and Rinoa was already concerned about his emotional-well-being. She could tell that he was being beaten up pretty badly that day.

"Okay," said Squall bluntly. He tried to hide his feelings. It always worked. He cleared his throat. "What's your name?"

"…Sierra," she said.

Rinoa gasped and beamed. "Hey, me too!"

Sierra looked at Rinoa. "Really?"

"Yeah, my name's Sierra," said Rinoa brightly. "What a coincidence!"

Sierra smiled.

There was a horrible feeling pecking at Squall, telling him that this wasn't merely a coincidence. He had nothing to support this, so he just shrugged it off.

"What's yours?" Sierra asked Squall.

Squall was silent at first. "Leonheart. Squall … Leonheart."

Sierra's eyes widened at this. "You're Squall?"

Squall nodded. That's what I said, kid…

"Oh … I … I'm sorry," said Sierra quickly, "I'm very sorry."

Squall shook his head. "It's nothing."

Sierra looked extremely uncomfortable and didn't know what to say. "Um … well, I guess I'll be leaving now."

Squall and Rinoa nodded.

"Thank you very much, Squall," said Sierra, "I'm truly grateful."

"Think nothing of it," said Squall, "I've got heaps of cash that I probably won't need. I'll come back another time to buy some more artwork."

"Oh no, it's really enough!" said Sierra, "Thank you very much. Big brother Squall."

Squall couldn't help but have a warm feeling inside of him. He hadn't felt like that for a long time.

"Now I know why Rinoa loved you so much," she said quietly with a gentle smile.

Oh dear, now she's done it. Rinoa wished that Sierra hadn't said something like that. Squall was definitely going to take it to heart, analyse it, think about it, be pessimistic about it, and sulk over it just for the rest of his life.

But, she was wrong. Squall didn't take this as a bad memory. He stored the statement at the back of his mind and would think about it later. He didn't have time to be angry or sad anymore. He had had enough of emotion. He didn't need it anymore.

"Bye," said Sierra one last time. She began to walk off as Rinoa waved and said goodbye. Squall said nothing.

"So … are we going to eat now?" asked Rinoa.

Squall had completely forgotten about his intention of taking Rinoa some place to eat. He looked at her and shrugged. "All right. We'll head off out of Deling first and find a café or something. Everyone here knows your face. I mean … Rinoa's face…"

Rinoa nodded in understanding. He didn't seem so hurt to speak about Rinoa anymore. She was relieved.

Once again, they were in the car on the way back to Trabia. When they were well out of the Deling region, they stopped at a café on the road. The sun was illuminating in the patchy grey sky, but the weather was still relatively warm. The café was practically deserted, with the teenaged bus boys leaning against the counter chatting up the teenaged waitresses.

Squall and Rinoa sat at a table outside under a pretty pink parasol and enjoyed the weather in silence. It wasn't until moments later that a teenaged boy came up to serve them.

"Can I take your orders…?" he said.

Rinoa scanned through the menu and found many exquisite southern foods on the menu. She wished she could order everything on the menu and just totally pig out, because she was really famished.

"I'll just have a pasta salad and a soda, thanks," said Rinoa brightly, as the bus boy scribbled it down on his notebook.

"Is that all?" asked Squall, "You can eat as much as you want, I don't mind." Rinoa used to order everything on the menu and make me wait until she finished every last scrap of food … she wasn't even able to finish it all on her own so I would always have to help her eat the rest in the end… It always annoyed him to the maximum, but it was only after Rinoa died that he began to miss her annoying habits. Her annoying habits were what made Rinoa ... Rinoa.

"Really?" said Rinoa, "Okay … hmm … give me some of your tempura and dimsims too … ooh, and I like the look of those…" Rinoa went on for a good three minutes, ordering more food and changing her mind every three seconds. She finally decided on a few simple dishes, a soda, and a large bowl of strawberry ice cream.

"…Is that all?" said the bus boy, staring at Rinoa in amazement.

"Um … yup, that's all!" said Rinoa happily. "What about you, Leonheart?"

"Just a coffee," murmured Squall.

"Just a coffee?" said Rinoa, mortified.

"I'll just share with you," said Squall. You ordered nearly every dish on the list after all…

The bus boy went into the actual café to place the orders. Out of the corner of Rinoa's eye, she could see the teenagers checking Squall out.

"Those girls have their eyes on you," said Rinoa playfully.

Squall had his head in his hands. "Don't care."

"Of course you don't…"

"I'm used to it," said Squall coldly. And indeed he was. He could just remember when he was still in his Garden years that someone would tell him that some girl had a crush on him. He was never interested. He never cared. He didn't even bother to ask who it was.

"Oh, sorry!" said Rinoa, sounding really serious, "I wasn't aware that Commander Leonheart, first class SeeD, was so popular!"

If this were Irvine or Zell, or someone else, Squall would have easily gotten annoyed. But for some reason, he didn't mind that time. He actually chuckled a little.

"Oh, you laughed … I wish I had a camera," said Rinoa. She was already getting into the mood of cheering Squall up. She was good at cheering people up, and Squall definitely needed some cheering up.

"You wish," said Squall.

"Yeah, that's right!" said Rinoa.

"If you could even get anywhere near me with a camera…"

"Hey, what've you got to worry about?" said Rinoa, "You said so yourself, you're definitely camera material!"

"I never said that…"

"Well, I bet you thought it, Mr Self Esteem."

"Self-esteem isn't exactly a priority of mine…"

"Oh, lucky you," said Rinoa dreamily, "Confident and collected. Nice."

Squall couldn't help but laugh again. He wasn't used to flattery in that manner. Well, not anymore anyway. Rinoa smiled at him, feeling pleased with herself.

The food came at last, and Rinoa was filled with delight once it did. She was going to die of starvation soon, and the scent, look and even sound of food got her taste buds tingling. She dug into the food, eating politely but as fast as her teeth could take her. Squall watched her in fascination. He had seen Rinoa eat like that many times, but it would never cease to amaze him at how much Rinoa loved food.

Rinoa had finished a third of the food in front of her and stopped to look at Squall, who had only had two or three sips of coffee.

"Aren't you going to eat?" asked Rinoa.

"SeeDs don't get hungry," said Squall.

"Oh, of course not," said Rinoa sarcastically, "SeeDs were born with super stomachs that never require any fuel. I can totally buy that."

"And so you should."

"Hey, a wise SeeD once told me that it was bad to skip meals," said Rinoa, "I'd hate to think that he was a hypocrite."

"He probably is," said Squall with a smirk. He missed Rinoa's meaningful jokes so much…

"Oh, that's too bad," said Rinoa, "He's always giving wise words and smart remarks … what a shame that he's a phoney…"

"Hey, I'm no phoney," said Squall warningly.

Rinoa laughed out loud. "Oh, pride is such a wonderful thing to play with." She was quite used to playing with pride; she constantly had to do it with Seifer. She mastered it as if it were an art, and knew everything there was to know about pride.

I know too well, thought Squall.

"Come on, just a little," said Rinoa, "Do it for me."

"For you?" said Squall, finding her to be amusing.

"Yeah, for me!" said Rinoa, "I mean, who could resist?"

Squall snickered again. "Oh, all right. If it's for you, then it must be a worthy cause." His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Rinoa laughed and chose to ignore Squall's sardonic tone completely. "Yay! I'm such a miracle worker!"

Squall rolled his eyes with a smirk. He did as Rinoa said and began to eat at a very slow pace, letting Rinoa eat as much as she wanted. The mood of being around someone like Rinoa – and who in fact was Rinoa – made him feel a teensy bit light-hearted. The cheerfulness was returning to him, and he remembered what it was like to be happy and have a real sense of humour.

And he loved it.