Do You Believe In Monsters?- Chapter 4- Garlic Flavoured Vampire .:Snort:. Egos!
An apology to all Teá haters, I was planning to stake her this chapter but I wanted to focus on Seto and Yami. An apology to Malik and Marik, your scene is not in here but you get to drop your pants! So basically I'm apologising to everyone, I'M SORRY! I'm sorry I wrote 'So This Is Goodbye?'! I'm sorry I didn't make 'Cross Dressing, Alcoholic, Special K Bars! (Yeah, It's The Best I Could Come Up With!)' just one big orgy! I'm sorry I insulted my editor causing her to injure my leg. I'm sorry I'm too much of a wuss to ask guys out! I'm sorry I'm a book-worm who'd rather stay at home writing Yaoi fics than going out to wild raging parties where everyone gets boozed! I'm sorry I went out with the same guy around twenty odd times! (Why the hell did I do that?) But, I'm not sorry that I'm still a…I was going to say something but I don't think I will…
DISCLAIMER- Nope, I don't own it and I never will…unless DC66 will share?
DC66- .:snorts:. Not likely
WARNING- Nakedness! Vampires! Egyptian history! Blondes thinking! Normal crap, basically…
DC66- DC666 doesn't think…
SUMMARY- Finding out that peeps are vamps. In the mean time…nudity!
Ryou- .:sniffles:. We weren't in the last chapter's OCCs!
Bakura- .:death-glares DC666:. WHY were MALIK AND MARIK in the last chapter's OCC?
DC66- Yeah! .:glares:.
DC666- .:starts babbling excuses:. DC66 was supposed to write that!
DC66- Yeah, but Malik and Marik were there already .:pouts:.
DC666- But you said that you'd write in for Ryou and Bakura!
DC66- --; If the chapter's already ended then there's no place for extra OCCs .:thwaps:.
Ryou- .:sniff:. Please don't fight?
Bakura- .:throws DC66 and DC666 into a giant pit:. .:mutter mumble:. Make my host cry…bastards…
Sandwich Guy from What Really Happened After and During FFX2 who was also known as the Mouldy Turkey Sandwich I found In The Bottom Of My Brother's School Bag who was also known as TMTSIFITBOMBSBG- On with the fic!
(Joey)
Seth and Seto sat so close together that you'd think they're joined at the head! They poured over an original copy of Bram Stoker's 'Dracula'.
"So, it's been narrowed down to vampires and werewolves…lovely." Yami sighed. This was not going well, for him at least.
"Yeah, well, either way…we need to rub garlic on that…thing…" Rebecca shuddered as she pointed at his neck. "You, know…just to be safe. Vampires need a repeat attack for it to be final…" Seto cut her off.
"Teá is a vampire." Everyone stopped. "Consider it…she was in human form, the next full moon is two weeks away, she had no reflection in the mirror, she was pale, the fangs, where she chose to bite him, how she jumped out of the window and landed on her feet…it all makes sense now!" Yugi fainted.
Everyone gawped. It made sense…the whore is a vampire, nes-meratu, one of the Un-Dead. She was now the spawn of a leech and a cannibal. She could now change into other…things, animals like the wolf and bat. But what caused her to become one? She had no marks, no signs…
"How come she's a vampire when she showed no symptoms, there was no way that she could have become a vampire without another vampire biting her…" I pointed out.
"Not unless there's Shadow Magic involved." Bakura growled.
"Ah, yes. I remember that time…" Yami sighed. Everyone blinked.
"Care to explain?" Noah asked. Yami blushed.
"Dracula was a true story…well, Bram Stoker's one was…" Malik helped get the story moving…
(DC666 #Just adding myself in here because this one doesn't have a real narrator#)
"It all started when a sorceress lost her love. She summoned her Shadow Powers and somehow managed to bring him back from the dead." Yami officially began the story.
"His name was not 'Count Vladimir Dracula' it was none other than Osiris. Isis was powerful enough to track down his body and bring him back to life, Seth defeated him once again by cutting him up and spreading his body parts around Egypt. Isis knew the strength of her magic, she hunted down the pieces and arranged them to bring him back to life. Before Seth had a chance to find out, Isis had conceived a child, Horus, and had sent Osiris away. He travelled to Transylvania and built the castle by himself. There he lived for a long while, alone. Until, Dr. Van Helsing discovered him…" Bakura grinned. Seth blushed.
"Dr. Van Helsing was a pawn. I had inhabited the Millennium Rod for a good three millennia before he picked me up in a shop in Amsterdam. When I realised that he knew the whereabouts of my dear 'friend' I told him what I knew in exchange for my revenge by destroying him and his race, therefore, saving mankind." Everyone looked at him.
"Wait, rewind. We all know that you and the Pharaoh were cousins. We also know that Osiris, Isis, Seth and Nephthys were the children of Nut and Geb, meaning that they were all brother and sister. Nut and Geb were the spawn of Shu and Tefnut. They, in turn, were the children of Atum, the self-created deity. Care to explain?" Seto raised an eyebrow at his and Yugi's yamis.
"Um…the writers of the show haven't researched enough?" Seth tried. Yami grinned behind him.
"Hey, according to legends, you blinded Horus, who in turn, castrated you…" He sniggered. "…No wonder you haven't had a girlfriend in a few millennia!" Everyone cracked up laughing.
"Fucking Ra! This authoress has done her homework and there's no way out of it…alright, you know how Horus' eye was restored with the divine spit of Thoth? Same deal…still, it doesn't explain why you haven't had one in a while… " Seth blushed. Atum raised an eyebrow.
"I'm gay with my hikari. So, Thoth restored your 'glory' for you? Dude…" He grinned. Dirty thoughts were brewing in his evil little mind…and overly large hair…
"No! He did not give me a strap on! I know the way your mind works, Pharaoh." Seth glared at said porcupine. Said porcupine then glared at not said authoress.
"Prove it!" Ishizu screamed out from behind a bookshelf. Everyone giggled then gasped as Seth did as asked…to prove that he actually had…one…he dropped his pants! There it was, staring at them.
Girls blushed and giggled, guys laughed and claimed that they were bigger than him. And so it began, the pants went down and the… .:giggles:. …yeah, well…you know…came out!
"So basically you pulled down your pants and let some ibis-headed freak spit on your crotch?" Mai giggled.
"Yeah, that was the deal. He spat on me, therefore, replenishing me and I return I had to do a century of public service for Ra." Seth explained.
"He spat on you? Don't you mean he gave you a blow job?" Serenity crudely suggested. Everyone blinked, they had never heard such filth come out of her mouth! Maybe she was related to Joey after all…
(Duke)
"I am bigger than you all!" Yugi screamed when he awoke. Seto looked down at him with an eyebrow raised. He wasn't bigger than them…he was the shortest of them all! Yugi then proceeded to join in the competition and dropped his already dangerously-low pants so they were resting around his ankles, much to the delight of his yami…
Everyone gasped…for someone so small, he had a huge…amount of self-esteem! (A/N- Heh, fooled ya, you thought I was gonna say something dirty! I think he may be related to Seto Kaiba…yeah, I went to say ego but…that's sort of slang for, heh…) I guess it matches his hair! Although, it was funny to see a midget drop his pants!
Rebecca suddenly grabbed Atum by the head, removed his bandage and started rubbing garlic butter on his neck! "Sorry, it's the closest I could find to actual garlic. Seto, your kitchen is huge!" She blushed.
"Try it at midnight, when you're looking for painkillers!" Noah grinned as he buckled his pants up, embarrassed that he had lowered himself to the level of the others.
The rest of us followed suit. It was getting cold…someone had turned the air-conditioning on, very high…
We decided that we needed a break, it was lunchtime and we were all starved! We sat down and gorged until we all thought we were gonna puke…except for Seto, he looked at the food and almost hurled.
Luckily the phone rang before Mokuba and Noah had a chance to strap him to a chair and force feed him…
(Noah)
When Seto left to answer it I went and tapped the phone line from my room. Mokuba came with me, what we heard shocked us…
'Kaiba-boy, the card worked?'
'Yes, Pegasus, it worked. It also worked on Teá.'
'I meant to tell you something…'
'What, that Teá would go mental, try to kill Malik, Marik and Atum, resist a Shadow Attack, bite Atum's neck, jump out of a second storey window to keep running when she hit the ground and leave us with no choice but to rub garlic butter on the Pharaoh's wound?'
'Uh…no…actually, I wanted to know if you knew what kind of thing she is?'
'She's a vampire. Why?'
'Cecilia is too…and I have a feeling you may become one…'
'FUCK!'
'Now, now, Kaiba-boy, no need for obscenities.'
'Fuck, the niceties, Pegasus! This is fucking serious! I could hurt people! Fuck, fuck, fuck…'
'Calm down.'
'Calm down? How can I calm down when I could turn vicious and kill all my friends in a few seconds?'
'All they have to do is to kill you…I see your point.'
'I know how they have to kill me too…stake me through the heart, cut off my head, shove my mouth full of garlic, put a crucifix over my heart, place me upside down in my coffin, seal it with the Host and dump it in a river! I've done my research. Or they could save themselves the hassle and just stake me and cremate me. Great…just fucking great…'
'Don't worry, I'm one too…'
The line went dead. Seto, Teá, Cecilia and Pegasus. What next? Or more accurate, who's next? We had to tell the others. And what about Atum…
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, BATMAN! I mean, YU-GI-OH!
I have NOTHING to say at the moment. I wanna do a Random Moment but the one I wanna do is gonna be in the story…SCREW THIS! I'll do it anyway!
DC666's Version Of A Random Moment…(that will tie into the plot line)
Bakura, Malik, Seth and Atum looked extremely bored. Yugi, Ryou, Marik and Seto suggested they take a shower…mainly because they stank…
After finding out that four people do not fit in a single shower at once, not even at the Kaiba Mansion, they decided to take a bath.
Seth got the rubber ducky, Bakura adjusted the water temperature (they like their baths hot), Atum found the Bubble Bath and Malik…he brought the Shadow Powers…
Now, our dear Bakura has a slight phobia of ducks and duck-like animals/shadows/toys. Malik decided that this was a fine time to purge the dear fellow of his fear. So (like in the first few Random Moments from 'Family Fun') he used his Shadow Power of Mind Control on the rubber ducky, causing it to enlarge and flood the bath.
The Ra-damned thing then went to eat Bakura and almost crushed his head as he was lifted out of the bath, covered in bubbles. Malik laughed as his friend screamed in terror.
Suddenly the ducky turned…(authoress looks at colour wheel to find out what the opposite colour to yellow is)…purple and back to its original yellow. It let go of Bakura, whom then proceeded to run out screaming, still in the nude, no towel or nothing!
"You spoil everything, Pharaoh!" Malik growled.
"If the duck had have eaten him…damn…next time I'm staying out of things…" Atum climbed out of the bath and calmly walked out of the room after Bakura, not even bothering with a towel. He grabbed the Tomb Robber by the hair and dragged him back into the bathroom to continue being eaten by the ducky.
Everyone else looked on in wonder…Bakura…Atum…naked…GIANT RUBBER DUCKY! .:Static sound:. .:"Quack!":.
Now to DC66 for I fear the worst… .:Rubber ducky enters:. .:DC666 screams:. GIANT RUBBER DUCKIES! .:Cries:..
DC66- .:sighs:. See what a baka hikari I have? .:scowls:.
Ryou- Why is she your hikari? .:tilts head to side:.
DC66- .:mutter mumble:. We're exact opposites- when she's calm, I'm hyper, when I'm adventurous, she's a chicken wuss, when I'm smart, she's dumb (which is all the time). Plus I'm always telling her to do stuff, like pour a can of soft drink over stupid cow's locker. She wouldn't do it so I did. Then there comes the fact that I'm protective of all my friends. Her conclusion? I'm the yami, she's the hikari.
Bakura- .:glares:. I can cause more mayhem than you!
DC66- --; I'm real, you're fake. Any questions?
Bakura- .:scowls:.
Ryou- .:warningly:. Bakura…
DC66- Yes, Baku-Baku-chan, listen to your .:evil laugh:. Light! MWAHAHAHA!
Yo, by the way. You people haven't told me what you want from me (DC66). Random moments, Random smut, random poems or random torturing of YGO characters.
