A/N: Sorry for the lateness of the update, everyone! I've just been a bit busy lately, but I'm back now. I'm glad everyone enjoyed the last chapter, and a few of you are asking if it's the end. The answer to that question is - nope, it's not the end yet, there are still a lot of loose ends that need tying. I'm sorry if it's dragging on a bit too long, but I still have some more evil schemes up my sleeve... -shifty eyes- But thank you for the support, I really appreciate it! I hope I haven't lost any of you readers ... anyway, on with the chapter...

Lost Memories of my Love

Part III : Love is Blind

Chapter 33 – The Sorceress Within

Rinoa and Squall spent the whole night in the field of flowers, sitting on the grass and talking. It felt like they hadn't talked in so long, even though they had been talking nearly every day for the past three months. But that was because they didn't realise who each other were. Surprisingly, the question about how Rinoa lost her memory didn't even come up in their endless conversation. They were just so overwhelmed that they finally found each other again, after what seemed like forever.

They talked for endless hours. At times it was awkward, because Rinoa would constantly ask about what she was like. Squall would answer as best he could, and Rinoa would remember. That was how she slowly regained her memory. She thought back about it and noticed that whenever Seifer told her things, nothing would come back to her because they never actually happened. But when Squall told her, she could remember it all. Ashleigh almost running over her triggered the most feelings and memories, and somehow got her mind jogging.

But she couldn't remember how she lost her memory in the first place. Squall couldn't tell her, because he didn't know either. Was it the fire? She couldn't believe that it was the fire, because Seifer had fed her that information, and everything Seifer fed her were lies – her name, her history, and even him. She was confused. Who was Seifer? Why did he lie to her? She didn't know how she felt about him anymore. She didn't even know whether to call him and confront him or not. She didn't know how she would react to his voice. She didn't even know his real name…

She silently tried to fit the pieces altogether, but it was too hard. The main thing she could remember was a car ramming at her, but the rest was all a blur. She didn't tell Squall that, though.

"What about my family?" asked Rinoa, "What was my family like?"

"Well … General Fury Caraway is your dad," said Squall, "You met him in Deling, remember? You never got along with him, because he was a miliary figure for the Galbadian forces, and you really hated him for that."

"Really?" Rinoa thought for a moment. She tried to picture the face of the man she had met in Deling just a couple of months ago. When she finally got a picture, she remembered having an argument with him once. But that was it, really. "What about my mother?"

"Your mom?" said Squall, "Well … I never knew her. But her name was Julia Heartilly. She's a musician. You adopted her surname because you hated your dad so much. She died in a car accident when you were five, but she gave you that ring before she died."

Rinoa pulled out her chain and looked at Julia's wedding ring. She stared at it for a moment and searched her mind for any ringing bells.

'I'm going to give this to you, okay Rinoa honey? Keep it safe for me. Remember, I love you, no matter what.'

"Y-Yeah … I remember…" murmured Rinoa, squeezing the ring tight. She then put the chain back around her neck where it belonged.

Squall nodded slowly. "Yeah … she taught you that song, Eyes on Me … you played it the other day…"

The other day... It seemed like forever ago, but Squall made it seem like what he made it to sound like - the other day. "I remember…" Rinoa nodded. "Do I have any siblings...?"

Squall shook his head. "But you do have a stepsister. And a stepmother, now that you mention it."

"Oh … yeah … my stepsister … she's Ashleigh, right?" Rinoa suddenly felt very strange, remembering that Squall was marrying Ashleigh.

"Yeah," muttered Squall, also feeling awkward. "And your stepmother … I think you talked to her once…"

Rinoa pictured Sera's face, her sharp features and overdone make-up. She remembered straight away that she didn't like Sera very much, but she couldn't remember why. She pictured Ashleigh and felt quite the same.

There was silence between them both, as they watched the sky turn bright orange. The sun was going to rise soon, and neither of them were even the least bit tired.

"What about us…?"

Squall looked at Rinoa, who was looking at the sky absentmindedly. He didn't know how to answer the question. "Us?"

Rinoa smiled weakly. "Yeah. What about … us? How were we … in our teen years?"

Squall smirked. "Well … you helped me discover myself again. You gave me strength when I felt weak. You … you made me smile again…"

Rinoa laughed. "Yeah, I can remember all of that and how you had to rescue me so many times. You know, how you were really cold to me and all that, but I gave you what you deserved! I mean … how can I ever forget … those were the moments of my life…"

Squall didn't say anything but weakly smiled.

"But I know the adventure already," said Rinoa, "I want to know … how were we? As … as a couple…"

Squall was silent for a moment. "We were … a good couple, I guess. We used to go to Garden together. I'd always call you my strong girl. We'd go out often. The others would always be annoying and add some dumb remark whenever we went out with them..." The commander trailed off and couldn't believe how corny he was sounding. "Gaah, I don't know how we were as a couple…" He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.

Rinoa laughed. "So a good couple, were we?"

Squall shrugged.

"So … how come you asked Ashleigh to marry you?" asked Rinoa quietly.

Squall didn't say anything. He was afraid she would ask this question. "Hmm. I dunno."

Rinoa looked at him and narrowed her eyes. "I don't take 'I don't know' as an answer. You should know that by know!"

Squall smirked and lay down on the soft grass, staring at the awakening birds, soaring through the sky freely and letting the sweet scent of cherry blossoms travel past him. "Okay. I seriously don't know. I guess … I was so miserable because I thought you left me. And Quistis kept saying 'Rinoa would want you to be happy again'. So in other words, she was telling me to get over it. And she said it so often that it annoyed me. So I guess … I just wanted to make everyone stop bugging me. And … I really thought marrying Ashleigh would help me get over it. I guess."

"Did it?" asked Rinoa, looking at Squall, who was lying down and looking more laidback than she had ever seen him before.

Squall shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe. I told myself it was. But … I never felt that ... that fullness I used to feel when I was with you. And … this is the first time I'll admit it … but I don't think I ever loved Ashleigh."

Rinoa laughed weakly at Squall's attempt to share his feelings. He's just as cute as I remember him to be... She lay down next to him. "Interesting. Do go on."

Squall looked at Rinoa. "Yeah. And … well, I guess when I met you again … I really thought you were Rinoa. I mean, you are Rinoa, but you didn't know you were Rinoa. I mean…"

"I know what you mean, Squall," said Rinoa with a laugh.

The vice president smirked. "Yeah … and I really thought you were you. Even after the countless times you told me you were 'Sierra' in such an angry way … I guess … I never truly believed you. Deep down, I just knew you were Rinoa…"

Rinoa smiled at him. "Well … you were right…"

Squall shrugged.

"So … are you going to go through with it?" asked Rinoa quietly. "I mean, with the wedding and all that..."

Squall sighed and looked deeper into the blueing sky. So much thinking and talking … he would always think about it, but he had never told anybody about it. Talking to Rinoa was getting many weights off his chest. He had been concealed for a while, he had changed and changed again … but maybe he was ready to settle with what he had…

"I don't want to," said Squall, still staring off into the sky. "Because … I've finally found you … and if I just let you go, I could never live with myself…"

Rinoa smiled. She grabbed his hand, wondering whether he'd pull away, and entwined her fingers with Squall's, feeling his aura running beneath her skin. The very feeling made even more memories of her and Squall flood through her mind, making her feel very light-hearted. Squall, too, forgot what it was like to hold Rinoa's hand. He didn't pull away, for he was also so happy…

"Thank you … Squall…" Rinoa whispered.

And the two of them lay in the flower field together, hand in hand, watching the sunrise…


Rinoa pushed the button for the elevator and walked in with a box tucked under one arm, which was the Garden uniform sample she had been working on. She waited for the elevator to stop on her floor, but it stopped three floors before her destination as someone boarded the elevator.

Sera walked in, looking snooty as usual. When she saw Rinoa, she smiled a bittersweet smile.

"Good morning," said Rinoa pleasantly.

"Yes, good morning," muttered Sera, pushing the button for her floor.

Rinoa found Sera's reaction to her amusing. She wanted to play with her more. "So, what are you doing this weekend?"

Sera looked at Rinoa and gave her a strange look. "Ashleigh and I are heading down to Deling to meet my husband, General Caraway. It's for the grand engagement."

Rinoa smiled sweetly. "Oh? No Squall?"

Sera laughed Rinoa's comment off. "No. He is far too busy to attend this."

"Too busy to meet his father-in-law?" asked Rinoa, "But … not too busy to talk with me for a whole night…?"

Sera stared at Rinoa at first in shock, but then in fury. "What did you say?"

Rinoa gave a laidback laugh. "I said he and I were talking all night last night. We were talking about a lot. Mother." She emphasized the last word with a sharp flick of her tongue.

Sera stared in Rinoa in horror. How on earth did she remember? Talking with Squall all night…? This is not a good thing… But she decided to twist Rinoa's words and make them seem like something they weren't. "Why you little … you've been sleeping with him all this time, haven't you!"

Rinoa was quite surprised with Sera's reaction. But she didn't mean it like that at all, because she certainly hadn't been sleeping with Squall, and she didn't want Sera to get the wrong idea and open her big mouth to the whole world, or else both Squall and Rinoa would get very bad names.

But Rinoa wasn't going to lose her cool. "No, I haven't been sleeping with him, you sick old woman. I've just been learning a lot."

Sera was speechless. She didn't know what to say, so she did what she used to do when Rinoa lived with her. She slapped her stepdaughter across the face in rage.

A quick image of Sera slapping her popped into Rinoa's mind, and she remembered the feeling too well.

Rinoa collected herself and didn't show any sign of weakness. She smiled sweetly at Sera. "I'm not the way I used to be, mother. I'm not a weak little girl anymore. So you'd better watch your back."

Sera stared at her stepdaughter, her hazel eyes piercing with anger. "What did you just say to me?" she asked sharply.

"You heard me," said Rinoa ferociously.

"You don't have a right to talk to me like that," said Sera angry.

"Like hell I do, bitch…"

Sera totally lost it then and there. She was just about to slap Rinoa across the face again, but decided against it. She decided to screw with Rinoa's mind for a bit instead. "So what are you going to do? Everyone knows Rinoa is dead. Are you going to marry Squall? I thought you were with that other man, Seifer."

"What?"

"Oh you know what I mean. Once a whore, always a whore. Like mother like daughter."

"You take that back," said Rinoa warningly.

"Or what?" Sera snapped, "Admit it, girl, you've been fooled with. You can't just waltz in there and tell everyone that you are someone who has been dead for two years. What's your excuse? You have no excuse. You aren't Rinoa, because you have no proof. You're probably only saying you are this Rinoa because you just can't handle being Sierra anymore, you just decided you want to be someone else just because of your similarity with her. And how convenient …the person you're trying to be is the ex-lover of the vice president of Esthar, the daughter of an ex-singer and general of the Galbadian forces … if you ask me, you're just a greedy little wench…"

"Shut up!" screamed Rinoa. "You wouldn't understand! For so long I've been pushed around, I refuse to be pushed around now!" Suddenly, even more flashing images raced through her mind. Edea stabbing Squall with crystal-like things, Rinoa being under Edea's spell, floating in space, being in a coma, being sacrificed to Adel…

"Just shut up!" Rinoa had no control over her body at that point. The lights in the elevator began to flicker, and the elevator came to a stop altogether. Her eyes turned fiery red and an evil smirk crept across her face. White wings shot out of her back and she floated slightly into the air, and there was a bright white light glowering all around her.

Her sorceress side had taken over her mind and body after encountering the bitter truth of her past. In addition to this, she was without a knight this time, so her powers could do extreme sinister damage…

Sera stared at Rinoa in fright and shock. "What's wrong with you!" she hissed.

"Just shut up, you stupid woman…" Rinoa's voice was double-edged. "I've been tormented so much in the past … when things finally looked up to me, you came in and ruined my life even more … I will take your life for what you did to me, you don't deserve to live after all you've done…" Rinoa lifted her hand and was about to cast a spell on Sera.

"You've gone mad…" Then suddenly it hit her. Is she a sorceress? Sera's curiosity was quickly wiped out with fear, as Rinoa was about to take her life then and there. All she could do was beg…

The older woman fell to her knees and began weeping, her heart racing in her chest without rhythm. "Please, spare me! I wish not to harm you anymore! It's all the past!"


Squall glanced at his wristwatch and noticed that Rinoa was ten minutes late already. He was in the boardroom with all the staff, as they were going through procedures about how to accept new students into the Garden. But Rinoa was supposed to come with the uniform, and Min said that she hadn't seen Rinoa all morning.

It wasn't only that, but Squall was really willing to announce that Rinoa wasn't Sierra, but Rinoa. He had already told Ellone, who had told Laguna … the two of them were very shocked at first, but then very joyful. Squall also told Irvine, Quistis, Selphie and Zell, their reactions were quite the same. Nobody asked any questions yet, as they didn't want to ruin Squall's happiness. They decided to themselves that it was better for Squall or Rinoa to say it themselves rather than asking on impulse.

Everyone in the boardroom was talking amongst themselves, as Squall hadn't called for their attention yet. He looked at his friends.

"Where is she?" asked Squall for the millionth time.

"You really wanna make this big, dontcha Squall?" asked Irvine.

Squall shrugged. "I only think it's right that we get this cleared up."

Quistis looked at Squall and was about to ask him if he was going to marry Ashleigh, but quickly decided against it. "I'm happy for you, Squall."

The others nodded in agreement.

"Thanks," murmured Squall.

Zell's cell phone rang. He picked it up after two rings. "Yeah?…What! Are you sure!…Oh crap … okay, we'll take care of it straight away…Yeah, all right…"

"What's up, Zell?" asked Selphie.

"Guys, I just got a call from the operators downstairs," said Zell seriously, "Sera and Rinoa are stuck in the elevator together … Sera is screaming into the intercom that Rinoa's trying to kill her…"

The five of them all stared at each other, the same thought occurring in their minds.

"C'mon, let's go," said Squall, sheathing his gunblade.


"TAKE THIS!" shouted Rinoa, "Fira!"

Sera screamed in agony, crying at the same time. She had taken so many blows from Rinoa's spells already and was in utter pain. She made contact with the operators and begged them to help until she lost the connection.

"Stop … please…!" cried Sera.

"Thunder!"

The fuses in the elevator sparked and all came together to give Sera a slight shock. She continued to beg for mercy, but the more she begged, the more Rinoa wanted to torture her.

"Blizzard!"


Squall and his companions rushed to the elevator. Zell began typing in some commands into the button panel, but the computers were down, as there seemed to be some problem with the fuses. "Crap! Rinoa must be doing some major damage down there!"

"We'll have to smash the door down," said Quistis, "Thundara!" The spell seemed to have no effect on the metal door whatsoever.

"Damn it, Zell, why'd you have to make these doors so secure for?" shouted Irvine.

"Don't blame it on me!" argued Zell.

"Shut up guys, this is no time to be arguing!" said Selphie.

Squall rushed towards the door, gunblade in hand, and slashed at the door with all his might. His attack seemed to have slightly weakened the plutonium door.

"Hey Squall," Irvine looked at Squall with his gun in hand, then at the elevator, and nodded.

Squall nodded and backed away from the door, next to Irvine, and aimed his gunblade at the door, as did Irvine. The two men began to fire heavy ammunition at the door as if there was no tomorrow. At last, the door blew up into smithereens. Squall looked down and figured that they had to jump to reach the elevator, but all five of them weren't going to be able to fit.

"We won't all fit," said Squall, "Quistis and I will go down there. Zell and Irvine, you two run down the stairs and alert the operators. Selphie, you go back to the boardroom and tell everyone to hold on."

"Yes sir!" all four of them said in unison.

Selphie sprinted back to the boardroom, and Irvine and Zell headed down the stairs. Squall and Quistis looked at each other and nodded, jumping down into the narrow space.


"Oh Hyne, have mercy," sobbed Sera croakily. She was on the floor, in so much pain that she couldn't move anymore. She couldn't stand the torture and just wanted to die already … but Rinoa would not stop no matter how much the woman begged…

"Watera!"

Water wrapped around Sera's body and she felt its coldness choke her. It was then that her eyes dropped, her breathing rate slowing down.

Suddenly, Quistis and Squall fell from above and stood in battle stance. Rinoa was surprised at this, and her attention was drawn away from the dying Sera. "Oh … company. How fun."

"Stop, Rinoa," said Quistis.

"Stop?" said Rinoa in a touchy voice. "I think not…" Rinoa raised her arm, preparing for another spell.

"Go help Sera," muttered Squall.

Quistis did as she was told and checked for Sera's vital signs whilst Squall was trying to control the rogue sorceress.

"Rinoa, stop," said Squall firmly.

His voice triggered something in Rinoa's mind, but it was only minor. "Hmm…"

"Rinoa, it's okay," said Squall. He put away his gunblade and put his hands up to show her he was serious. "I'm not going to hurt you."

It's Squall… Somewhere in her mind, Rinoa tried to control herself but it just didn't work. The sorceress within conquered her better self. "Every one … wants to hurt me…"

"Rinoa..."

"Demi!"

Squall felt a magical prowess swell up inside his chest, but Rinoa's spell was not lethal to him. He was not going to hurt Rinoa no matter what. But what if she ended up killing him? Sorceress powers were unknown and dangerous ... she was indeed very capable of killing him if he didn't fend for himself. SeeDs kill sorceresses… The order from so long ago haunted him, even then…. He shook the thought out of his head. I'm not a SeeD anymore.

"Rinoa. Get a hold of yourself."

"Reflect … on your childhood…" She raised her arm. "Thundag—"

Reflect... Rinoa's words gave Squall an idea. "Reflect!" he shouted.

Rinoa's thunderbolt hit Squall's shield and bounced back onto herself. Rinoa screamed in pain and fell from the air onto her knees. Squall rushed up to her and bent down in concern. The sorceress was in a cold sweat, her eyes were squeezed shut, but she was muttering strange things…

"Kill everything … my childhood … everything I ever believed in … my innocence, my life…"

Squall put his hands around Rinoa's shoulders and shook her gently. "Rinoa, it's okay. I'm here now."

That voice … it's Squall … he's going to save me…

"S-Squall…"

"Yes, it's Squall," said Squall gently.

"S-Squall…" Rinoa began rocking back and forth, shivering. Her eyes refused to open and look at him. Suddenly, the lights flickered on again and the elevator was humming like normal, but it didn't seem to be moving anywhere.

Squall looked at Quistis. "Take Sera downstairs and get some medical attention. Don't mention what really happened."

Quistis nodded in understanding, quickly cast a light cure spell on Sera, and fiddled with the controls on the elevator. As the elevator started moving down once again, Squall cast a float spell on himself and Rinoa, and the two of them floated up through the narrow way and back onto the top floor, Squall holding onto Rinoa protectively. As soon as they reached the top and onto solid ground again, Squall helped Rinoa stand up.

She was feeling faint and collapsed onto her knight, who caught her and held her tight. "Rinoa … are you all right…?"

"Squall…" she murmured, and her eyes fluttered open. Her vision was hazy at first, but once her focus was back in place, she looked into Squall's serious face and threw her arms around him, the sensation she felt almost frightening.

"It's okay," said Squall, gently patting her.

"W-What was that…?" Rinoa ended the embrace but still held onto his hands in fear that if she let go, she would fall again. "I … I was so scared, Squall. I had no control over my body. I … can't remember a thing."

Squall sighed and avoided her frightened eyes. He didn't want to break the news to her again, but it had to be done. "Rinoa … you're a sorceress."

"S-Sorceress?" cried Rinoa softly, "Y-You mean … like…"

Squall nodded in remorse. "Yeah … but it's okay. You just lost control of your powers, that's all."

"But … how come after all these years, I never experienced … anything like that?" said Rinoa quietly.

Squall looked thoughtful. "Maybe you just forgot how…? You forgot you were a sorceress, so maybe that's why you couldn't be a sorceress. Maybe now … you remember…"

"But … but sorceresses are evil, Squall," said Rinoa in fright, "What if I go crazy again…? What if I lose control of myself and I end up hurting someone? If anyone finds out … they won't want to be around me anymore. Squall, I'm scared…"

Squall remembered having the same conversation with Rinoa so long ago. It felt strange to be experiencing the past again … but somehow, it reminded him of everything he ever achieved… "Don't worry. I promised … a long time ago … that I'd be your knight. I'll protect you. If a sorceress has a knight, then she won't lose control of herself … don't worry. I will protect you … because I am your knight…"

Rinoa looked up at him, her concern disappearing from her eyes. She squeezed Squall's hands and pursed her lips together to form a small smile. "Thank you, Squall…"

Squall smiled vaguely back at her. "Don't worry…" He looked down at her hands. Her arms were trembling with apprehension. He suddenly noticed a ring on her fourth finger on her left hand. "What's that?" he asked, looking at the ring.

Rinoa looked at what Squall was looking at, and flustered when she noticed he was asking about her engagement ring from Seifer. She immediately felt resentment and remembered what Seifer did to her. She let go of Squall's hands and quickly tore the ring off her finger and put it in her jacket pocket.

"It's nothing," said Rinoa bluntly, "Something I don't want to remember."

Squall nodded slowly, not knowing what she meant. He didn't ask about it either. "All right…"

Irvine, Quistis and Zell came bolting up the stairs. All three of them tried to catch their breath.

"Is everything … okay?" asked Quistis, panting.

Squall nodded. "Everything's fine."

"Are you okay, Rin?" asked Zell.

Being called Rin brought so many happy memories back to Rinoa. She smiled at them, wondering how they knew she wasn't Sierra. Then it was obvious, Squall had told them. But maybe in their hearts, they always believed her to be Rinoa, the way Squall did … and for that, she was grateful to have such good friends like them.

"I'm fine … Zell," said Rinoa, smiling.

Irvine laughed. "Hey Rin, is it just me, or do you look different?"

Rinoa grinned at her friend. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No, no, not at all," said Irvine, "You look more … womanly since last time, that's all."

Rinoa covered her chest protectively. "Excuse me, what are you looking at?"

Quistis punched Irvine in the arm playfully. "Trust you, Irvine to be sympathetic..."

Zell cracked up laughing. "Quisty, let the baby gave his fun."

Rinoa turned on Zell and punched him too. "I find out that I am your long lost friend, and this is how you guys treat me?" But she smiled, embracing all the new memories that rushed into her mind. About Quistis, Zell and Irvine being there for her in her times of need … the good old days were sweet…

"All right, let's stop messing around and get back to the board meeting," said Squall.

"Trust Squall to wreck the moment," said Irvine with a chuckle.

Rinoa smiled at her friends. "No, he's right. We should get back to work."

"Oh not you too, Rin," said Zell, "Squall's warped you, hasn't he?"

Rinoa merely laughed. As they began to walk back to the meeting room, Rinoa's cell phone rang. She stopped midway and looked up at her friends. "Sorry, just give me a second…" She whipped out her phone and answered it straight away. "Hello?"

"Hey, Sierra … it's me."

Rinoa straight away recognised the voice as Seifer's, and she suddenly felt wobbly. A quick surge of mixed emotions that included panic, confusion, disappointment and anger overcame her.

"How's it going?" he asked her.

"I'm sorry, you've reached the wrong number," said Rinoa flatly, "This is Rinoa." And with that, she hung up on him straight away and switched off her phone. She put it away, a good feeling of satisfaction sweeping over her. She looked up at her friends and smiled. "Let's go."

"Who was that?" asked Quistis.

"Oh … someone just got the wrong number," said Rinoa. And I won't be speaking to that bastard again … whoever he is.

But somewhere inside of her, she somehow had the urge to call Seifer up and say something. Anything. She had so many questions to ask … but those questions weren't of any of importance to her.

Not yet, anyway.