Author's Note: A thanks goes out to two special women, Linda for making this chapter perfect! And for Sheila for helping me pick out this song which I would have never figured out with her help!


Chapter Two: Goodbye To You

She couldn't do this. She wouldn't do this. No matter how much her heart wanted to. She wasn't going to stay. She wasn't going to let him step all over her heart. The fragile piece couldn't take that again. Putting herself out there to get hurt would be stupid. Hadn't he shown that she wasn't want he had wanted?

"Please stay," he said again. He moved away from the door and towards her. She sent a quick glance at the elevator and willed it to come. He felt the heat radiating off his body, making her body respond to his. Her skin became flush and her body wanted what it couldn't have. It wanted what it would never be able to have again.

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

"Don't do this Jason," her voice sounded weak to her own ears. His hand touched her face and she couldn't stop her cheek from leaning into his hand. She couldn't stop her heart from calling out to him. She was losing herself, she knew it. She was losing herself to him again. Something she couldn't do, not unless she was ready to get broken all over again. Not unless she was ready to be able to pick the pieces up once again.

The ding of the elevator brought her back, just barely though. Part of her was shouting to stay. To fall back into the arms you so want around you, while the other part of her was shouting for her to get the out of there. Run as fast as you can and as far too.

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

She pulled away from his hand and it nearly broke her all over again. She saw that his eyes were glassy, mirroring her own. Both filled with hurt and longing. But it wouldn't last, it never did. They weren't meant to be. Love didn't fix all. No matter what the books or movies said. It didn't fix everything, like we wanted to believe. It only hurt, only broke people, and only made tears fall.

"No...I...I can't Jason," she said, stepping in the elevator. Turning around she saw a single tear slip down his cheek, just like the one that slipped down hers as the elevator shut. Like the door shutting on them. Just like a page turning in the book of their lives.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to


Jason felt the tears, but he ignored them. He cursed himself. What had he been thinking? Had he really believed she would have come running back into his arms like he wanted? After all that he had put her through? Yes, he had. He had thought that if he had charmed her, kissed her, and made her want him, it would have been that simple. With most women, it might have been.

Courtney wasn't most women. Courtney was his other half, his soul mate. But he had thrown it away, thrown it away for a lousy mistake, a slut, and a child that was never his. He let her go, lied to her, and made her feel like their love was just something he could throw away and not think about it.

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

Hell, part of him thought he could have. He had lied to himself, making him believe that he could. It worked, except at night, when thoughts came back to him. Thoughts of their marriage, their life, and their love. It came back to him when it rained. When they took their first and last kiss. Where they both had let go, but they could never really let go of each other. Never. They both meant too much to each other. Even if both of them had moved on, it wasn't the same.

They had moved on because they were broken and thought they needed healing hands, but those breaks never heal. They only get bandaged. When it finally comes time to rip it off when your healed, it hurts like hell. But what's worse is when you find out it's not really healed, it still bleeds if you touch it.

That was them, that was Courtney to him. God, he was so stupid. He had let the one thing that made him human slip right from his grasp.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to


Courtney walked into her home. A place that once been their home.

Shaking her head, it was time to move. It was time to get another place. This place just brought it all back. All the times they had made love here. The times where they had almost let go but found solace in each other, found another piece of themselves to share with one another.

The tears were still falling. Both sides of her heart were screaming at her. One wanted her to run back, run back into his arms and forget the past. The other wanted her to grab a plane ticket and go to Siberia, what could remind her of Jason there?

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

She moved towards the closet and grabbed a suitcase She grabbed her clothes and stuffed them into the suitcase. They'd all be wrinkled when she got to wherever she was going, but she didn't care. No, if need be she would buy whatever she needed when she got there. She was a millionaire for God sakes.

When the closet and all the drawers were cleared, she moved to the living room and opened the keepsake box she had on the coffee table. She took out a picture of Michael, her, Jason, Carly(who was pregnant with Morgan) and Sonny. The all looked so happy and in love. The next picture was of Morgan, cuddled in her arms. She smiled down at the little boy. It was taken just a few days after he had come home from the hospital. Jason had taken the picture.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

A tear dropped onto the picture and she took out the last one. Her wedding picture. His arms were around her from behind. Both had huge smiles on their faces. Happy and in love. It seemed like nothing could ever ruin their love.

How easily it had. She put the pictures on the table, spread out. She grabbed her teddy bear that had been sitting on the couch. Hugging it to herself, her sobs racked her body. She looked at the pictures that felt like they were taken a lifetime ago.

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything that I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

How had it all slipped away so fast?

And when the stars fallI will lie awake
You're my shooting star


Author's Note Two: The song Goodby To You belongs too Michelle Branch.