A/N: Hello everyone ... thank you for all of your reviews and support, everyone. Most of your questions about Ashleigh and Sera will be answered here ... and I'll warn you now, it's not as pretty as I wanted it to be o.o; Anyway, I just came up with a whole new breakthrough that is completely different to the K-Drama this is based off, because I've got a feeling that if I continue on with the way it's going, then this story probably won't be finished for another ten chapters o.o; So basically, from here on, it'll be completely different to 'Stairway to Heaven'. I hope this doesn't disappoint the K-Drama fans, but I just want to finish this off soon ... it'll probably be another three or four chapters until this is finished, so bear with me here :) Anyway, enjoy the chapter...

Lost Memories of my Love

Chapter 36 – Sera Bites Back

Rinoa sat, slumped on the sofa, staring at the engagement ring Seifer had given her. She moved it around, watching the light from the lamp dance on it and the light reflect off it. She couldn't help but smile slightly.

"So … he's not coming back, is he?" asked Min, crunching away on her apple.

Rinoa looked up at her friend and shook her head sadly. "Nope. It's weird … I don't hate him. I mean, I don't really trust him right now, but I don't hate him."

She wandered off in thought for a while as she looked back to Seifer's engagement ring. After a moment's worth of thought, she didn't feel like throwing it away. She somewhat regretted not giving the ring back to him, but who knows where he was now? Instead of throwing the tiny piece of gold away, she unlocked her chain and slid the ring onto it, letting it sit next to Griever and Julia's wedding ring. There it would stay, until one day she could give it back to him…

Min took another bite out of her piece of fruit. "Yeah, but hey, aren't you a bit grossed out knowing that you were with your stepbrother?"

Rinoa looked up at Min. "Min, you're not helping."

"Sorry," said Min.

Rinoa looked at the clock on the wall and sighed. The two of them were talking about it for the whole morning, since Rinoa came back the previous night at three a.m. She couldn't sleep at all, because of the past events occurring over the last week. She had to come back on time to be present for Squall's speech at the Garden. That day was the first opened school day for new students, and it wouldn't do her any good if she missed it.

"What time is Squall's speech?" asked Rinoa restlessly.

"It's not for another three hours," answered Min.

"All right … I think I'll take a nap before then," said Rinoa, yawning. "Wake me up in two hours, okay?"


Meanwhile, back at the presidential residence, Squall sat in his office, talking to Ellone and Laguna about the first learning day of Garden. Laguna was positioned by the window, looking out into the magnificent city absentmindedly. Ellone was pacing around the office, looking over notes and figures, while Squall sat in his comfy office chair with his arms folded.

"So all the instructors showed up, right?" asked Squall.

Ellone nodded. "Everything seems to be running smoothly, Squall."

"Perfect," said Squall, "So, what's the schedule today?"

"You'll be giving a speech out to the students over there in about two hours," answered Ellone, "Then take a look around, see if there aren't any kinks in the system. There's going to be quite a lot of the media there, so be prepared. We'll have Zell and Irvine outside to cover for you just in case we need to call for backup."

"You make it sound like a SeeD mission," said Laguna with a chuckle.

Ellone smiled. "Maybe so. The media is quite the tough cookie. I'm surprised they haven't shrouded Rinoa with questions about the awful trauma yet."

Squall shrugged. "Her father's apart of the military. He practically controls the media."

Ellone nodded. "True." She tried to stay on topic. "Anyway, after the Garden check, you have a meeting with Vinzer Deling's son, just to remind you."

Squall's office telephone began to ring. He leaned over and pushed the speaker phone button. "Speak," he said idly.

"Sir, Mrs Leonhart and her mother wish to see you," said the secretary from downstairs.

"What?" said Squall, confused.

"Er … I mean, Ms Caraway and her mother," said the secretary uncomfortably.

Squall looked at Ellone for some kind of silent advice. The older woman looked at him with a bewildered expression, indicating that she didn't know what to do either.

The vice president turned back to the phone. "Send them up."

"Yes, sir."

Click.

Squall pressed the button and looked up at Ellone. "I wonder what this is about."

"Squall, it's kind of obvious," said Ellone, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "She wants to clear up the whole marriage thing."

"Clear up?" repeated Squall, "You mean … cancel?" He looked uneasy at first. He didn't want to look like a fool and get dumped after it was so clear that it was over between Ashleigh and him. Of course, he never actually told her it was over … but now that he thought about it, he should have.

Ellone shrugged.

The electric doors slid open and a forsaken Sera followed by a distressed Ashleigh came marching into the room in a somewhat angry fashion. Squall looked up at the mother and daughter with an empty expression.

"Squall," began Sera plainly. "I—"

Ashleigh pushed her mother aside and banged her fists on the desk. "Squall, I love you. Please … tell me … is the wedding still on? Are we still getting married?"

Squall stared at Ashleigh in disbelief. "Ashleigh … isn't it obvious?"

"What!" cried Ashleigh, in fits of tears, "Are you saying you're not marrying me anymore?"

Sera gave her daughter a forlorn look.

"Ashleigh … I've found Rinoa," said Squall slowly.

"Oh, right, so all those times you said you loved me!" sobbed Ashleigh, "You didn't mean it at all? All this time you were thinking of Rinoa, even after you asked me to marry you!"

Squall remained silent.

The woman banged her fists on the desk in anger again, but Squall kept his cool. Her voice was in almost a whisper. "Damnit … so you used me … you used me as a substitute for Rinoa … how can you do that!"

"Now wait just a second," said Squall, his voice rising slightly, "You said yourself that you knew I … was 'in love' with someone else, but you insisted on—"

"I don't know what I said," wailed Ashleigh, "I loved you, I gave you my heart and soul, but you took it and you played with it!"

"Look, I'm—"

"You couldn't find your precious Rinoa, so you wanted to marry me instead! And now you found her, you're just going to dump me!"

Squall didn't say anything. In a way, she was making him feel guilty for his actions. Is that what he really did? He used her as a substitute because he thought Rinoa wasn't going to come back? Was he really that sceptical?

Hyne … I'm such an asshole.

But he didn't give into his guilt.

"All right," said Squall powerfully as he stood up, "I'm sorry, all right? But … it's just the way I feel."

Ashleigh burst into tears, not wanting to accept the truth. "Y-Y-You…"

"I … I love Rinoa," said Squall slowly. Damn, did I just say that?

Laguna turned away from the window and looked at his son with interest. He didn't expect Squall to be so open about his emotions.

Ashleigh sobbed even harder. "Why? Why are you so cruel to me, Squall!"

"Ashleigh—"

Sera stepped closer to the desk, her eyes narrowing down at Squall until they were merely slits in her face. "So, you're going to marry her?"

"Well…"

Before Squall could answer, Sera continued on. "You fool. Don't you understand what this could mean for your name?"

"Excuse me?" Squall raised an eyebrow, not knowing what Sera meant.

"Oh, I know about your little wench," said Sera sharply, "She's a sorceress, isn't she?"

Laguna's eyes darted towards Sera, as did Ellone's.

When Sera was met with silence, she smiled coolly. "Yes, I know what she is, after my encounter with her the other day. You, vice president of Esthar can't marry a sorceress. If anybody ever found out, you would lose face. Everyone will lose faith in you, turn away from you, knowing that the notorious Squall Leonheart is marrying one of those evil women who brought destruction to their land."

"Yes, but nobody knows that," said Laguna.

Sera smiled wryly. "Maybe so. But that can easily be changed."

Squall stared at Sera, panic rising within him. This can't be what I think it is…

"What are you trying to say, Sera?" asked Ellone, when Squall didn't respond.

"I'm saying that if by any chance Squall happens marries Rinoa," said Sera stingily, "Then … it won't be long before her secret is out."

If I marry Rinoa … then she's going to tell everyone that Rinoa is a sorceress? Squall cringed at the thought. He didn't want everyone knowing that Rinoa was a sorceress, or else everyone would get the wrong idea. Sorceresses were typically labelled as evil. If people found out that Rinoa was a sorceress, they would hate her, and not want to be around her. Squall knew that that was something Rinoa feared … he didn't want that to happen to her…

"Let me remind you that Ashleigh is still open for marriage," said Sera simply. "And if not … then … let's say dear Rinoa won't be so dear anymore…" She smiled one last poisonous smile, and began to head out the door.

Ashleigh stood there, silenced with shock. She stared at Squall with hurt eyes, only to find that the hurt in his was much worse. He avoided her gaze, staring down at his desk with his elbows standing up on the table. Ashleigh bit her bottom lip nervously, not believing what her mother's actions. She looked away from Squall and hesitantly followed her mother outside.

As the door closed, Squall was left there, sitting motionlessly, thoughts and fears tumbling around in his mind like an emotional turmoil. If I'm with Rinoa … then everyone will know her secret, and that could lead to things I don't even want to think about. I'll lose my reputation. Everyone will lose trust in me, and in Rinoa. But if I'm with Ashleigh … then Rinoa will hate me forever...

"Squall," said Ellone quietly, putting her arm on Squall's shoulder.

"This is blackmail," said Laguna in a disapproving voice. "Isn't there something we can do?"

"I don't know," said Ellone nervously, "Squall…?"

Squall heard the woman loud and clear, but couldn't speak. What was he supposed to do? Just when he thought his life was getting better, something like this had to come happen…

"Squall, please say something," said Ellone quietly.

"What?" said Squall in exasperation. He brushed Ellone's arm off his shoulder. "What am I supposed to say? You want me to choose between my reputation and Rinoa? Well, you know what? I choose Rinoa."

"It's not as simple as that, Squall," interjected Laguna, "You have to think about these things. Choosing Rinoa would mean losing everything."

"If I had to choose between everything and Rinoa … then I would choose her, no questions asked," said Squall bluntly. "I can't believe you want me to choose between this stupid presidentship over Rinoa."

"It's not only about your job, Squall," said Ellone gently, "If you choose Rinoa, then everyone will fear her. It will be like the Sorceress Wars all over again. Everyone would want her dead. And you, being president of Esthar and ex-SeeD, would have to be the one who sends her to her death. You don't want that, do you?"

Squall paused for a moment. "No … of course I don't want that." He stopped again thoughtfully. "Why don't I just quit being vice president? Then nobody would give a damn who I'm with…"

"It doesn't stop Sera from leaking out Rinoa's secret," said Ellone earnestly, "All she really wants is for her daughter to marry you … it doesn't matter if you're vice president or not."

"And the fact that Rinoa is a sorceress doesn't stop people from wanting her dead, whether she's marrying you or not," added Laguna.

Great, thought Squall, My only family won't even support me.

"Squall, I'm sorry," said Ellone, shaking her head apologetically, "I don't like this any more than you do. But we have to think logically. We can't take any chances. But we're not going to stop you from making your decision. If you know what's good for Rinoa and yourself, you'll make the right decision…"

Squall said nothing. The right decision. What was the right decision? He had to choose between Rinoa's life and her love? What was more important to him…?

As long as she's alive, at least she can be happy. Even if she hates me … at least she has the rest of her life to love.

Squall sighed. "So … what am I supposed to say to her?"


"Mother, what was that?" demanded Ashleigh, referring to the drama that had just occurred, on the way down the elevator.

Sera said nothing as she examined her manicured nails. "That was the breakthrough that will save your relationship with Squall."

"But you blackmailed him," said Ashleigh, almost angrily.

"I did not blackmail him," said Sera, rolling her eyes, "I just … used some persuasion skills."

"I know that I love him," said Ashleigh, "But really … did you have to go to that extreme?"

Sera stopped examining her nails and looked at Ashleigh menacingly. "Ashleigh. Your stepfather will not support us anymore. I don't have a job. You probably won't have a job. How are we going to look after ourselves? We have nowhere to go. We have no money. Squall is our only source of money, and I don't care what it takes, but I will not scavenge around pettily."

Ashleigh remained silent, slowly realising the truth in Sera's words.

"Do you want that, Ashleigh?" hissed Sera, "Do you want to live on the streets? Or even worse … come crawling back to that dirty father and brother of yours?"

Ashleigh looked uneasy. "I guess not."

As the elevator came to a stop, Sera and Ashleigh stepped off it. The older woman turned to her daughter.

"Then you will do as your told," said Sera sharply.

"Yes, mother." Ashleigh sighed, as she continued to walk with her mother. She couldn't explain it. This feeling inside of her … what was it? When she heard Sera utter those words so sharply to Squall, it felt like her mind was shattered.

When Squall said those words to her … 'I love Rinoa' … she was in a ridiculous state that she could not explain. She knew all along that Squall loved Rinoa, but she would never believe it. He had never actually told her, and when he did, it felt like her world was falling apart.

Somewhere in her heart and in her mind, she knew that Sera was doing the wrong thing. But what could she do about it? Nothing. She was like a poor, defenceless child, nothing without its mother.


"Hey, Rin!" called Irvine. He removed his arm from around Selphie's shoulder and waved to the raven-haired woman in greeting. "Over here!"

Rinoa looked into Irvine's direction and smiled. She and Min walked over to Irvine and Selphie through the sea of students entering the auditorium.

"Hey Min and Rin!" chirped Selphie merrily, "How was your trip to Deling, Rin?"

"It was pretty good," said Rinoa, nodding, "I've got a lot to tell you guys later."

"Sounds interesting," said Irvine.

"Where's Zell?" asked Min curiously.

Irvine chuckled. "He had to fill in for the kickboxing instructor today. I bet he forgot that Squall's speech is on now."

Min giggled. "Typical."

"Everyone, please sit in your homeroom classes," said Quistis at the microphone on the stage, "The vice president will be here any minute now."

"Quisty sure is doing a good job," said Rinoa.

"Of course, she's Quistis Trepe," said Selphie, "She's practically queen of doing a good job."

"Hey, there's Zell," said Irvine, pointing to the side door of the auditorium. "Yo, Zell!"

The blonde looked up and saw Irvine. He fixed up his suit, and ran towards the group energetically. It was obvious that he had just changed out of his 'instructor clothes' and into his 'bodyguard clothes'.

"Hey guys," said Zell, "Squall's limo just arrived."

"Oh, better get out there and body guard him," said Irvine. He reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a pair of sunglasses, putting them on and looking rather trendy.

Selphie and Zell did the same, and Rinoa couldn't help but giggle.

"Whoa, step back!" said Rinoa with a laugh.

Selphie stuck her tongue out at Rinoa. "We get paid to do this, Rin."

"You wanna escort us out?" asked Irvine with a sheepish grin.

Rinoa looked at Min.

"I'll just stay here," answered Min. "You go ahead."

"Okay," said Rinoa. "Let's go!"


Squall looked out of the limousine window and sighed at the amount of photographers and press awaiting him. He never did like interviews, and news reporters were the most annoying people on the planet.

"I'm not going out there with all those people," Squall said to Ellone, who was sitting right next to him.

Ellone looked at her 'brother' with a dazed smile. "Come on, Squall. It's a part of the job. And look, here come Irvine, Zell and Selphie. They'll keep things under control."

Squall looked out the window again to find his comrades pushing through all the news reporters in style. He then noticed Rinoa trailing closely behind Selphie with a peaceful smile across her face. Squall suddenly felt even uneasier.

"Elle, Rinoa's out there too," said Squall, "I can't face her yet!"

"Squall, don't worry," said Ellone reassuringly, "Just deliver your speech first and deal with it afterwards. Besides, you don't have to rush things. Enjoy your time with her first … I mean, she must be pretty tense after her trip to Deling. Find the right time and then tell her."

"All right," said Squall, understanding what Ellone had to say.

"You go ahead, I'll wait for you in the limo," said Ellone with a gentle smile.

The limousine driver opened Squall's door, and the vice president stepped out anxiously. He took off his sunglasses and before he knew it, he was bombarded by questions from the press.

"How does it feel to have made such a big accomplishment, Mr Leonhart?"

"Are you going to have any future connections with the Garden?"

"When are you going to become president?"

"Is it true that Rinoa Heartilly, your ex-lover, is still alive?"

"The vice president won't be answering any questions until after the speech," said Irvine, putting his hand out.

"Look, it's Rinoa Heartilly!"

Rinoa's eyes widened at the sound of her name, and quickly hid behind Zell when all the reporters ran up to her and bombarded her with questions.

"Is it true that you lost your memory and have only regained it?"

"Has your father, General Caraway of the Galbadia military, accepted you yet?"

"How did you lose your memory?"

"Um…" Rinoa stayed hidden behind Zell, not wanting any more attention.

"Miss Heartilly won't be answering any questions as of yet, either," said Zell in Rinoa's defence.

"Miss Heartilly, there have been allegations that you aren't really Rinoa Heartilly, and you are just posing as her. Is this true?"

"Of course it's not true!" cried Rinoa.

"Rin, it's not a very good idea to answer any of their questions," hissed Selphie.

"Just stay close to us," muttered Zell.

Irvine and Zell led Rinoa and Squall into the Garden auditorium, with Selphie at the back, shooing off all the photographers.

"And you can actually cope with this?" Rinoa said to Squall.

"Everyday," answered Squall with a snicker. "These big rallies aren't a good way to get publicity. So it's better if you just smile and wave to make the people happy."

Rinoa giggled. "I bet you do neither."

"That would be correct," said Squall with a smirk. Hyne, Rin … I can't believe that I've got to let you go so easily… He quickly shrugged the thought off his shoulders and remembered what Ellone had suggested. Enjoy what's left … dammit, what is left?

As they reached the auditorium with Zell, Irvine and Selphie warding off all the members of the press, Rinoa read the distracted expression on Squall's face.

"Is something wrong, Squall?" asked Rinoa, as the droning of the media from outside faded.

Squall looked up at Rinoa, the concerned look on her face almost piercing him. Yes, Rinoa, everything's wrong … it wasn't supposed to turn out like this…

"It's nothing," lied Squall, shaking his head, "Nothing at all … Rin…"

A/N: Okay, so it's a lot shorter than the other chapters, I know. I'm just real tired right now … I just wanted to make a quick update before I go to bed. Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Reviews greatly appreciated :) Have a nice day/night, everyone.