A/N #1: Hey look at this! Another chappie! I apologize for not getting a new chapter up sooner, but my dirty cousin was always too busy, and then suspended me for accidentally breaking a few rules.(oi, I'm bad!) Yes. So, to all you who were waiting for more, here it is! (grins and waves hands excitedly to and amazingly low amount of readers) Yes. Please R&R!

A/N B: It's Cicada again. Phe4r my l33t skilz. That's enough of that. For all of you who were annoyed by my Minion's dialogue good news! He's on vacation in the Abyss. So I am here to talk to you instead (people boo and throw small woodland creatures) NOOOOOO! MERCY! (flees in terror) TO THE FIC!

Chapter 2: The Pesky Houseguest

With a burst of radiant white light, Zerlina Swann delicately stepped from the carriage and stared up at the mansion before her. She gasped.

"How quaint!"

She swiftly made her way up the walkway, and knocked on the large oak doors. A grandly-dressed butler answered her incessant knocking.

"Yes, Miss? How may I help you?"

"I am Zerlina Swann. I am here to see mine own cousin, Elizabeth. Does her presence grace this comely mansion?" The man raised an eyebrow at her.

"She's here if that's what you mean. Shall I fetch her for you?"

"Pray do."

The butler turned from Zerlina a hollered up the steps, "Hey Elizabeth! You have a visitor!"

"I'm coming!" Elizabeth screamed back at the servant. She disentangled herself from Will's loving embrace, and rushed out of the room that they now shared, since they are now MARRIED.

"Hold on. I gotta go see who's at the door," Elizabeth said.

"I'll come with you." Elizabeth turned and smiled at her husband, and they walked down the steps hand in hand. (aawwww) Zerlina looked up as her cousin approached.

"How beeth you on this fine day, fair coz?"

Elizabeth looked down on the glowing beauty that was Zerlina.

"Ummm, should I know you?" Elizabeth asked, confused.

"Why, I am your homely cousin, Zerlina Swann!" Zerlina exclaimed humbly. By now, Elizabeth was at the foot of the stairs, trying to recall whether she had seen this woman before or not. She ambulated over to Zerlina, and scanned her face, waiting for some spark of memory to come.

"Zerlina? I have no cousin with this name. I do have a cousin named Jane, however," Elizabeth suggested warily.

"O yes! Jane IS my first name, but I go by my middle name, Zerlina. I oft forget that this confuses some," she explained hastily, almost guiltily. Elizabeth pondered this for a moment and then seemed to come to a conclusion.

"Cousin!" She leaped into her Zerlina's outstretched arms. "It's wonderful to see you again! You are to stay for at least a month, aren't you?"

"Only if you bid me thus, cousin," Zerlina stated, not wanting to impose.

"But of course! We have soo much to catch up on! You must tell me what you have been doing these past thirteen years! Bernard, please bring Zerlina's luggage up to the guest room." She turned to Will. "Will, could you please have the cook fetch Zerlina and I some tea?" She took Zerlina by the arm and led her to the sitting room. "Let's go, Zerlina!"

Bernard and Will exchanged puzzled glances. Elizabeth babbled on senselessly to Zerlina, and then, seeing that her wishes were not accommodated for, she pivoted on a foot and bellowed, "NOW!" Will and Bernard jumped in alarm, and then quickly hastened to do Elizabeth's bidding.


Elizabeth and Zerlina perched daintily on sofas in the Swann mansion sitting room. Well, Zerlina perched daintily. Elizabeth sat back and deep in the seat, enjoying comfort over being proper.

"Zerlina, you must tell me everything! How is your family? How is-"

"Oh, they are all in good health, cousin. Did I tell you Steven has endeavored to attend college? He has! And then Jonathan has taken an interest in painting," Zerlina interrupted.

"Really? Is he-"

"Oh yes, and did I tell you of the new dress shop in Blackburn? It is so fabulous, Elizabeth! It has all these wonderful dresses made out of the softest velvet you've ever touched, and their coloration! These dresses are splendid Elizabeth! I wish I could've bought one, but I had just spent my money helping this poor little boy who needed some money for some bread. He was a darling little boy. He had light blonde hair and these bright blue eyes. He was so charming, I wish he had been my child; but I was happy to serve him in what small ways I could. Did I tell you of the new town center they built in Blackburn? It is so glorious. The governor there wanted to build it to help bolster the town's confidence. We'd been having some problems with horse-thieves. I shall tell you all about it…" Suddenly Elizabeth wished she could take back her comment about Zerlina telling her EVERTHING…


Several hours and much driveling later…
Elizabeth stumbled into her and Will's room, exhausted. "You have no idea how much she can talk!" she exclaimed. Will, who was pouring over some maps of Port Royal, turned to look and her.

"It can't be all THAT bad," he commented, smiling at his wife's weary face.

"Oh yes, it can! She talked about her trip over here for and hour and a half! I didn't even ask about it! She just started to blubber about her boring life, without even questioning if I wanted to hear it. And I didn't!" She ranted, sprawling out on an armchair.

"Too bad she's here for a whole month, huh?" he smirked mischievously. Elizabeth's eyes grew wide.

"Nooo!" she began to bawl. "I can't stand her blather for an entire month!"

"You could just ask her to leave," he suggested.

"I can't be rude! And I was the one who invited her to stay for that long." She sighed dejectedly. (glorious!) "What should I do, Will?"

"I don't know."

"You're no help," she accused. She slowly changed into her nightdress and slipped under the covers of their bed. She lay there for a few seconds before asking, "Will? Are you going to sleep tonight?" He looked up from his maps.

"Yeah. Just as soon as I finish-" Elizabeth didn't hear anymore. Worn out by the boring monologue of Zerlina's, she closed her eyes and fell asleep.


Coz is used in Shakespeare often. It means cousin, fool.

Great cliffie, huh? No, not really. But there will be some, we promise! Oh yes, there IS a reason why Will and Elizabeth are staying at the Swann mansion. All shall be explained… sooner or later. Please R&R!