Lost Memories of My Love

Chapter 38 – Shifting of Emotion

Rinoa ran and ran, leaving tears behind her as she went. The cold night air gashed at her, sending multiple chills down her spine. She shivered as she ran across the road, this time actually looking to see if there were any cars. When she crossed the road, she ran up to her sanctuary, the place she remembered going to whenever she was feeling sad.

She climbed up the stairs of Deling Bridge, the top looking as if it were forever away. She blinked back more tears when she reached the top, and stood against the railing with her elbows up, hands curled up in tight fists. She looked down at the beautiful city of Deling. Somewhere in this pool of people is Squall Leonheart…

Squall.

More tears came flooding out of her eyes when she thought about him. She wanted to stop crying, to pick herself up and move on, but her emotions were uncontrollable. All she could do was cry, letting out all the pain dwelling inside of her.

I thought we were actually going to be together, Rinoa thought, remembering all the joyful moments she had with Squall. I thought … after everything we've been through, being together would be the first thing on our minds. We've been hurt so much … I thought he wanted to be with me.

Rinoa sniffled and scrunched her face into a bitter one. I guess not. I thought he actually cared about me. But all he really is a selfish coward. Strength and pride my butt … he wouldn't know the first thing about strength and pride...

She began to fiddle with the rings on her chain. Then she remembered one of them belonged to Squall. It was the ring he had given her to mark their love forever. The ring that symbolised everything he believed in, everything he lived for. And it was in her possession.

Doesn't it mean anything to him anymore? I hold what he won't give anyone else. He told me himself that he loved me. His eyes would gaze at me with the utmost emotion in them. Was all that just a lie? Does he truly care for Ashleigh more than he does for me?

For a moment, Rinoa began to smell something fishy in that statement. She knew … Squall didn't really love Ashleigh. The way he said everything to her was too real, the way he expressed his feelings … the way he walked through their journey. But then again … did she really know him well enough?

Tears began to pour out of Rinoa's eyes again as sadness overcame her anger. What a perfect end to a wonderful day, thought Rinoa sardonically.

She sniffed again, wiping away another tear. The night breeze began to tease her hair, making the raven strands dance with the wind. She looked up at the sky, wondering where her mother was amongst them. She wanted her mother now more than anything. At least she knew that Julia wasn't going to hurt her…


Seifer stood numbly on the other side of Deling Bridge, staring at nothing in particular. He lifted the cigarette he was holding to his mouth, inhaling its bitter contents. He felt nothing but emptiness. He watched the embers of his cigarette float off with the wind, carrying them far away. He had developed a smoking habit after the run-in with Rinoa. He would feel angry about what happened all the time. But when he smoked, it calmed him … it took away his anger and made him feel empty.

"Hey, Seifer!"

Seifer turned around and watched as a chirpy Sierra ran up to him. He nodded at the teenager in acknowledgement.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Nothing," answered Sierra, "How come you're still here? You usually don't hang around me for this long."

Seifer shrugged, going back to his cigarette for more. "I don't have anything better to do."

Sierra raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't you have a job?"

"Yeah," said Seifer carelessly, "What about it?"

Sierra narrowed her eyes down at him. "You've been acting strange lately."

Seifer shrugged. "Doesn't mean shit to me."

"And you shouldn't smoke," said Sierra knowingly, "It's bad for your health."

Seifer shrugged again.

Sierra looked at her friend with curious eyes. "I saw someone special on the other side of the bridge. I just didn't want to talk to her because I've got to work."

"And…?"

"Well, seeing as you don't have any work to do," said Sierra playfully, "Why don't you go over there and talk to her?"

Seifer rolled his eyes. "I think I'll pass." He didn't appreciate Sierra's lame attempt to match-make him with someone else, seeing as how he had only recently told her that he broke it off with his 'girl'. He hadn't given her the grotesque details, though. He didn't feel like going into depth about how his life officially became hell.

"I don't know … she looks kinda sad," said Sierra innocently.

Seifer rolled his eyes again, but glanced across the road. After a huge truck drove by, his eyes darted across the other side of the bridge. Then, to his amazement, he saw a lone figure standing against the railing. But it wasn't just anybody. He recognised the back of this person straight away. It was Rinoa.

Seifer quickly shrugged it off. "I don't know her."

Sierra gave him an 'oh really?' look and just walked away smoothly, leaving Seifer to gawk at Rinoa's back stupidly.

'She looks kinda sad.'

What could she possibly be sad about? Seifer thought to himself. She just realised who she was … she should be the happiest person in the world.

He let curiosity get the best of him and decided to approach Rinoa and see what all this was about. He threw his cigarette butt on the ground and stepped on it, and decided to take a chance as he crossed the road carefully. After all, things couldn't have gotten any worse than they already were.


Rinoa wiped another tear away. Her eyes were becoming heavy. She wanted to stop crying so badly, but the tears just kept on rolling out. She wondered where she was going to go after this. She wondered when she was going to go…

"Why the long face?"

Rinoa almost jumped at the sound of another voice. She had no time to think about who it was, and just turned around. To her surprise, it was Seifer standing before her in a rather laid-back approach.

Seifer was taken aback when he saw the state Rinoa was in. Her eyes were swollen with tears and her mascara was running down her face. Her nose was red and her lips were formed into a firm frown. She had her arms folded across her chest protectively, her body language saying everything words possibly couldn't have.

"Oh Hyne," muttered Rinoa. She quickly turned away, not wanting her stepbrother seeing her in such a condition. She began walking away, hoping that Seifer would leave her alone. She didn't feel like talking to anyone. She just wanted to be by herself ... she didn't want anyone seeing her so torn up and broken.

"Hey, don't just walk away," said Seifer, somewhat fiercely.

"Leave me alone," mumbled Rinoa, continuing to walk away.

Damn … she must really hate me, thought Seifer. "Look, I know you must hate me," he began, slowly trailing behind her, "But … what ever this problem is, you can't deal with it alone."

Rinoa ignored him and just kept on walking. Please go away...

Seifer got frustrated when she didn't answer. He hated not being answered. He didn't care if she was going to call him a heartless bastard or some other kind of insult, just as long as she answered him.

"Hey!" Seifer grabbed Rinoa's arm, not letting her go until she said something. "I don't care who you go to, just tell me that you're not gonna do something stupid."

Rinoa held back more tears. Something stupid? She didn't even know where she was going, let alone what she was doing.

"Rinoa, look at me," said Seifer forcefully. "Look at me, goddamit." He tightened his grip on Rinoa's arm to make sure she wasn't going to break into a run.

Rinoa blinked back more tears and decided to just look at the man, if that was the only thing that was going to let her go free. She kept her eyes squeezed shut, not wanting Seifer to see the tears hiding behind her eyes.

"Now tell me you aren't gonna do anything dumb," said Seifer, in a gentler tone.

Rinoa opened her eyes slowly. Tears made her vision hazy, but as she wiped them away with her free hand, the first thing she saw was the concern in Seifer's eyes. She opened her mouth, waiting for words to leave, but none came out. She tried to find her voice.

"I…" She avoided Seifer's gaze, but when she looked up at him again, she saw the same concern Squall had in Seifer's eyes. Just thinking about Squall made her burst into uncontrollable sobs. She fell onto Seifer's chest, and began to cry madly into his shirt.

Seifer, caught off guard, let go of Rinoa's arm as she cried. The younger woman grabbed onto Seifer's coat, crying through stifled words.

"Oh, Seifer," she said tearfully, "I … I hate…"

"Who…?" asked Seifer quietly, when Rinoa couldn't finish her sentence.

"I … I hate her!" cried Rinoa through sobs, "I fucking hate that little bitch!"

Seifer formed a clear picture in his face about whom Rinoa was talking about. It was obvious that this person Rinoa hated so much was his very own sister. He cursed silently at Ashleigh and didn't press the subject any further.

"Hey … just calm down," said Seifer gently. He awkwardly patted Rinoa on the back in attempt to comfort her. "Don't worry. Shh … things will be okay."

Rinoa sobbed into his chest even more. No they won't … it's like my life is ending … I never thought Squall would treat me like this … why? Why is he being so cruel to me? It doesn't sound like him…

Seifer didn't want to ask more about the issue, in fear of Rinoa breaking down even more. "Where are you headed?"

"I … I don't know," murmured Rinoa, "I haven't … I haven't got anywhere to go…"

Seifer shook his head, not standing Rinoa in such a depressing state. "I'll take you to your dad's place for the night, okay?"

Rinoa sniffed again and pulled away from Seifer, looking up at him in silent gratitude. She nodded slowly in approval.

Seifer only just noticed his engagement ring he had given her hanging from her neck. He smirked, wondering if this was a good time to ask. "I see you've found a new home for my ring."

Rinoa, caught off guard, looked down at her neck and slightly blushed. "Oh … well…"

She was about to take it off, but Seifer stopped her. "No, keep it. It looks good like that."

Rinoa mustered a sheepish smile, one that entwined with the grief on her face. It made her look strange – to be smiling and crying at the same time.

"All right … dry those eyes and we'll get going," said Seifer.

Rinoa wiped her eyes quickly and sniffled again. She folded her arms and huddled herself together to keep warm as the two of them began to walk. She kept her distance away from Seifer. Even though she acted as if she didn't want his help, she was thankful that someone was there to pick her up. Without him, she probably would have been moping on the bridge forever.

Both of them walked in silence through the streets. Rinoa would occasionally be sniffing, but she was calming down. She kept her arms folded, snuggling her jacket to receive as much warmth as possible. The same thoughts kept running through her mind … why? She didn't know what she felt about Squall anymore. Hatred? Anger? Sadness? She wasn't sure. All she knew was that she hated whatever feeling it was that was inside of her.

As they reached the Caraway mansion, Rinoa stopped Seifer from ringing the doorbell.

"Thank you … Seifer," she said croakily.

Seifer nodded in response. "Don't mention it. And don't worry. Things will be okay."

Rinoa was far from convinced that 'things would be okay'. She simply gave her stepbrother a weak smile and turned back to the front door. Seifer rung the doorbell, and within moments, Caraway was at the door in his uniform.

"Oh, Seifer … Rinoa," said Caraway. He glanced at Rinoa and didn't ask what was wrong. "A pleasant surprise, indeed. I was just about to head for work. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Um … Rinoa wanted to stay here for the night," said Seifer, when Rinoa didn't say anything.

"Oh, of course, of course," said Caraway without hesitation, "Stay as long as you like, Rinoa."

Rinoa nodded quickly and just bolted through the door, brushing past Caraway, and darted up the stairs to flee to her room. The general looked at Seifer with a quizzical look on his face.

"What's…?"

"I don't know," said Seifer calmly, "I just … saw her like that. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong, and she said she had nowhere to go."

"Oh, right," said Caraway, nodding his head. "Well, thank you for bringing her here. I wouldn't know what I would've done if something happened to her."

"Yeah … well … take care of her, old man," sneered Seifer, "I'll be off now."

Caraway nodded and Seifer left. The general closed the door and went upstairs. He saw Rinoa's door closed, and contemplated on going in. He decided to knock, just to be safe. He knew how upset his daughter could get if he just barged into her bedroom without warning.

"Rinoa, I'm heading to the office," called Caraway.

Rinoa, lying on her bed with her eyes wide open, tightly hugging the teddy bear that her mother had given her, did not reply.

"I'll be back in the morning," said Caraway. "Sleep tight, angel wing."

Rinoa didn't respond, and when Caraway's footsteps were heard fading as he went down the stairs, she burst into tears again.

Squall…

Just then, her cell phone began to vibrate in her pocket. Rinoa sat up slowly and pulled out her phone. The name flashing on the screen in the dark was 'Leonheart'. Rinoa hesitated, wondering if she should pick up or not. Letting her bitter side get the better of her, she chose to ignore the ringing and simply held her phone until the ringing stopped.

Seconds later, she received an alert saying that she had a new voicemail. Without hesitation, she dialled for her voicemail inbox and listened to Squall's message.

"Rinoa … it's Squall. I'm sorry … I understand that you don't want to talk to me, but I hope you're safe." There was a pause, and Rinoa could tell Squall was thinking about what to say. "Please call me back…"

When the message ended, Rinoa chose to delete the message and completely ignore it. He was right when he said that she didn't want to talk to him. She wasn't planning to either.

But somewhere in her mind, she desperately wanted to call Squall back. She was grateful that he still cared … but then again, if she called him back, what was she supposed to say? She didn't have anything to say to him … not anymore...


"Thank you for coming here today, Mr Leonheart," said Vinzer Deling's son, James. "I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem," said Squall lifelessly, as he stood up.

"I apologise for not being present yesterday at our arranged meeting time," said James, leading Squall to the door, "I hope it hasn't been too much of an inconvenience."

Squall shook his head. "No, no problem at all."

James nodded. "Good, I'm grateful." He opened the office door, and Squall headed out. "I hope to see you again soon."

"Likewise," murmured Squall.

All he wanted to do was get away from the Galbadian office and go home. He had had enough pressure for two days, he just wanted to go back to Esthar and take out all of his bottled up emotions on some monsters. It had been a while since the last time he had a good workout.

The two young leaders exchanged farewells and Squall headed out of the office. When the squeaky receptionist from yesterday said goodbye, he simply ignored her and kept on walking. He didn't sleep at all the previous night, worrying about Rinoa. He met up with Caraway at the Galbadian office that morning and was told that Rinoa was staying at the general's house. Relieved that Rinoa was safe, Squall decided that his task was over.

But it was still bothering him like crazy. He couldn't stand knowing that he hurt Rinoa, and that she was going to hate him forever. But he didn't ask for this. He only did this so Rinoa would be safe. What else was he supposed to do? Let their relationship flow, but in the end she'd be killed? It wasn't worth it. All he wanted was for her to be happy. But apparently, he was the one who made her happy...

This is one sick world, thought Squall coldly.

As he headed out of the office, he walked up to his parked car nearby. He unlocked the door and was about to get in, until in the corner of his eye, he noticed a familiar woman walking across the street and up towards him.

"Rinoa…?" Squall looked up at gaped at her, surprised that she was even within three miles of him.

Rinoa didn't have any particular emotion on her face. "Take me home, Squall," she said flatly. She opened the passenger seat door and got into the car.

Squall, bewildered that she even spoke to him, thanked his lucky stars that she was there. She just wants to hitch a ride, a voice inside his head said. Squall ignored this voice and just got into the car, trying not to stare at the raven-haired woman.

Rinoa had her hands on her lap, staring out the window absentmindedly. Squall wanted her to say something … anything. For a moment, he actually thought that Rinoa did not hate him.

"Are you gonna drive or what?" asked Rinoa, looking at Squall sternly.

Squall quickly turned away from Rinoa. "Uh … yeah, right." He fumbled with his car keys until he found the right one, and started up the car.

The whole ride was in a complete awkward silence. Squall would occasionally glance at Rinoa out of the corner of his eye, but was only met with the back of her head. She was looking out the window for the whole time, and not once did she make even the slightest sound.

Rinoa could see her soft reflection in the window, staring back at her with a blank expression. But only she could see it … only she could see the hurt hiding behind her eyes.

Just knowing that she was breathing the same oxygen as the man who hurt her deeply made her feel sick in the stomach. She wanted desperately to just open the car door and jump out and break into a run. But she didn't know what possessed her to come back to Squall and ask – or demand – a ride. Maybe it was the fact that she truly wanted to breathe the same oxygen as Squall drove her to come back to him … to see his face, to hear his voice…

A single teardrop rolled down Rinoa's cheek. She quietly sniffed, hoping that Squall didn't hear her. But no such luck.

Squall glanced at Rinoa when he heard the first sound in two hours from her. To his grief, she had sniffled, and he watched her with an anguished gaze as her hand reached up to her eyes to wipe away the tear. Squall decided to say nothing. The silence was killing him inside. Usually, he endured silence with great relief, but whenever he was around Rinoa, more than an hour's worth of silence was a bad sign.

After four hours, Squall was finally in Esthar. He headed onto the road in front of Rinoa's apartment and stopped the car, waiting for her to get out. Squall looked at her. The raven-haired woman had fallen asleep, her head resting on the window, making up for the little sleep she had the previous night.

Squall observed Rinoa in silence. She was just lying there … like a sleeping angel. He didn't want to wake her up; he wanted her to stay there forever…

"Rinoa," he heard himself say.

She stirred, and let out a stifled yawn. As she opened her eyes, she remembered where she was and mentally kicked herself for falling asleep. She quickly sat up straight and looked out the window, seeing her familiar abode.

"Thanks," she murmured, not wanting to stay there any longer. She quickly grabbed her jacket and took off her seatbelt.

Squall, leaning over and looking somewhat like a fool, was about to say something, but before he could even open his mouth, Rinoa had slammed the door shut in his face. He watched the back of her run into the apartment, until she dispersed completely. He stood there, contemplating his own actions, and was about to drive back to his office.

He noticed a tiny piece of silver left on Rinoa's seat. He leaned over and picked it up, and when he recognised the object, he felt like driving into a brick wall.

It was Rinoa's Griever ring that Squall had given her so long ago. He held it up against the sunlight, making it shine in a dazzling way. Squall was certain that the ring was not left behind by accident. It was like an unofficial 'I hate you' left from Rinoa, and if not 'I hate you' then it would have been 'I never want to see you again', 'Don't ever talk to me', 'Do me a favour and drink laundry detergent', or something along those lines at the least.

Squall sighed deeply, closing his eyes to avoid any visible agony showing up on his face. He grasped the ring tightly in his hands until his knuckles turned white. I'm so sorry, Rinoa… He opened his eyes, placed the ring in his pocket, and drove home.


For the rest of the week, Squall and Rinoa did not speak to each other. They didn't even see much of each other, and when they did, they acted as if they didn't know one another. Every time Squall saw her, he secretly hoped that she would say something. But she didn't. So he never said anything either. He wasn't the type of man to be the one who began conversation.

It was one late afternoon, and Squall sat in his office alone, filing out some paperwork. It was hard to concentrate, but he managed to keep his mind focused. He was halfway finished, until there was a knock at the door.

Squall looked up, wondering whom it could've been. Usually his receptionist buzzed him if anybody was coming to see him, unless it was Ellone or one of his friends. Squall decided it must have been one of the two, so he pressed the button at his desk that allowed the electric doors to slide open.

He looked back to his paperwork, letting whoever it was come in without seeing who it actually was.

"Erm … Squall, this arrived for you," a female voice said.

The vice president looked up, and to his slight discomfort, Ashleigh was standing at his desk, holding a parcel out in front of her for him to grab. She seemed just as uncomfortable as he was, seeing as this was the first time the two of them spoke since 'the incident'.

"Oh … thanks," murmured Squall. "How come--?"

"The receptionist sent it up to me by mistake," answered Ashleigh, before Squall could finish asking the question.

Squall nodded in acknowledgement. "All right then." He put his pen down and took the parcel, wondering if he should say anything else. After all, Ashleigh wasn't the number one person he wanted to see at that very moment.

Ashleigh smiled a small smile. For an awkward moment, she just stood there with a goofy smile on her face. It was only goofy because she never smiled like that before … there was something different that day.

Squall looked away from the sharp features on her face, as pretty as they may seem, and turned back to his paperwork. This gesture brought Ashleigh back to the real world, as she wiped the smile off her face.

"Well … um … I guess I'll be going now," said Ashleigh quietly. She turned around and walked towards the door. She stopped midway and kept her back towards Squall. She closed her eyes. She could practically smell Squall's hatred for her. She only hoped that Squall didn't know about what she did to Rinoa … he would have hated her even more, and that was something she didn't want. She really didn't want to go through this marriage either. Well, she did … but what was the point of marrying someone who hated her?

"I'm sorry, Squall," whispered Ashleigh.

Squall looked up at her, wondering if he had just imagined what Ashleigh had just said. All he saw was her standing there for a moment, and then walking out of his office.

It's a little too late for 'sorry', thought Squall coldly.

Ashleigh walked out of Squall's office, and as soon as she was out, she felt the dense atmosphere disappear. She was almost afraid to be around Squall now. Sighing, she glanced at her silver watch.

Better head back, she thought.

Ashleigh took the elevator down to the floor of the guestroom, where she was currently staying. She wondered if she was going to stay there any longer. She wondered if she and Squall would even be living together after their marriage. And if not, she wondered where she was going to go since there was basically nowhere left for her to go, like her mother had earlier explained.

She sighed again as she unlocked the door. As she entered her abode, she took off her white vest and threw it on the sofa, leaving just her slightly revealing white tank top. She flipped her amber hair over her shoulder and walked out onto the balcony. Her mother hadn't returned from wherever it was she went.

Leaning on the railing, staring out into the blood-red horizon, she tried to make sense of the emotions railing in her mind. She had never actually thought before … so it was a bit hard for her.

I should be happy, she thought, The man of my dreams is marrying me…

She briskly stroked her straight red hair, twirling it around her index finger. But I'm not. Do I even love him? Did I ever love him? Did he ever love me? If I have to spend the rest of my life with a man that hates me … ugh … I'd rather die.

She shuddered a bit when a breeze blew past her. Damn … and Rinoa. I bet she hates me too. Hyne, I know she always hated me. But why should I care? Oh wait … she's a sorceress. She could just blow me into smithereens if she wanted to. Ashleigh paused. But she never did. And … she must've been a sorceress for like, ages now. And damn … I was kind of a bitch to her when we were living together. Why didn't she just burn me to a crisp…?

Ashleigh suddenly felt guilty for everything she ever did to Rinoa. And we were getting along so well at one stage as well. Hyne, we were actually friends for a while. I can't believe this … I did all that shit to her because of a guy. That's just really messed up, now that I think about it. She isn't all that bad, I guess. It makes me wonder why I was such a brat… Oh wait … I wanted to be accepted, I guess. Mother was always telling me 'whatever it takes'. She was just pushing me so much…

She sighed. But what am I supposed to do? It's not as if I can turn back time or anything. And I can't call off the wedding with Squall, or else mom will get angry with me. She'll probably leak Rinoa's secret too. Squall doesn't deserve that. I know how much he loves her … I mean, I'd probably do the same if it was me … if someone threatened that they'd kill Squall if I didn't marry someone else…

Ashleigh's mind was all tangled. She didn't want to think anymore. The more she thought, the more she felt guilty. The more she felt guilty, the more she felt like doing something about it. And the more she wanted to do something about it, the more likely she was going to do about it and make herself look like a pile of rejected trash.

She decided to head back inside and eat dinner.

"Hello, Ashleigh."

The young woman jumped when she turned around, and to her utmost fright, she found Seifer leaning against the patio door with his arms folded.

"S-Seifer," she stammered. Knowing what kind of damage her brother was capable of, she didn't want to provoke him. She was actually afraid of him now. Up until now, she didn't really think he could ever pose as a threat. She tried to maintain her integrity. "What are you doing here?"

Seifer looked up at her with a careless expression. "I think you know why I'm here."

"How did you get up here?" demanded Ashleigh.

Seifer smirked. "It's not hard. I asked the receptionist if I could see you. She asked who I was, and I told her. She let me up. And your door was unlocked … so I just decided to prance in."

Ashleigh narrowed her eyes down at him. "Get out before I call security."

Seifer got off the wall and looked at her, amused. "Does this look like a face that cares?"

"What do you want, Seifer?" asked Ashleigh bitterly, "You've taken everything away from me already. My pride, my father … what else do you want from me? I've got nothing left."

Seifer glared at his sister dangerously. "Oh, yes you do. You've still got your life, and you know you don't deserve it."

"Excuse me?"

"You little whore, don't act innocent," he said, almost angrily. He charged up to his sister and grabbed her by the soldiers menacingly. "You say you have nothing. Everything you had in the first place was stolen."

Ashleigh quavered, trying to pull free from Seifer's grip. "L-Let go of me…"

"Everything, Ashleigh Almassy," spat Seifer, "And even now, you continue to steal from others."

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Ashleigh, trying to hide any fear in her voice. She struggled to pull away from Seifer, but he was too strong for her.

Seifer pushed her against the railing of the balcony forcefully, causing her to shriek in pain as her back collided with the metal. "When will you learn that lying and cheating isn't gonna do anything for you except get you killed?" he said fiercely, backing her against the railing.

Ashleigh whimpered, afraid of what Seifer was going to do to her. "It's not my fault!" she yelped.

Seifer pushed her again, even harder. This time, he pushed her so hard that she was virtually hanging off the balcony. The only reason why she was still on ground was because he was holding her. If he were to let go … then she would plummet thirty floors onto the busy roads of Esthar…

"What did you do to Rinoa?" he asked angrily.

Ashleigh cried in fear, seeing out of the corner of her eye how far the ground was and how close she was to falling. "I…I didn't do anything…"

Seifer pushed her again to prove that he was serious. "I'm not joking around, Ashleigh." He remembered Rinoa's cries … he wasn't going to let Ashleigh get away with it again. "Even if you are my sister, my own flesh and blood … I'm not afraid to kill you and make it look like an accident. In fact, this is probably a bold way to die, considering I could've sliced you up into a million pieces and feed the remains to a ruby dragon…"

Ashleigh squeezed her eyes shut, feeling Seifer's hot breath on her. She could hear the buzzing of cars three hundred feet below her, and tried not to think about falling. The way Seifer was holding her made her feel paranoid … it felt like he was going to let go at any second, without warning.

"Answer me," growled Seifer, "What did you do to Rinoa?"

"If you kill me," breathed Ashleigh, keeping her eyes shut, "Then you'll never know what I did…"

"So you admit you did something?" said Seifer. "Well. Even if I don't know what you did, I'd still be satisfied knowing that you were dead. So, what'll it be? Tell me what you did and I'll let you off."

Ashleigh remained silent.

"Tell me, goddamit!" roared Seifer.

The younger woman still said nothing.

"No?" said Seifer with a weak laugh, "So … I guess it's goodbye. It's been a pleasure knowing you, sister. Not."

"WAIT!" she screamed, her breathing rapid with fear when it felt like Seifer was about to let go of her.

Seifer looked back to his sister, amused. He listened intently.

"I … I don't know what to do anymore," she said.

Seifer laughed hollowly. "That's pathetic."

"I don't care if you kill me," she said quietly, her eyes squeezed as tightly as possible. If Seifer did have every intention to kill her, she didn't want to see the world fade. "But I feel horrible. I took away everything Rinoa-san has … this one has to top the cake…"

Seifer eyed her sister suspiciously. It wasn't like her to even try to redeem herself. He had a feeling it was a trick.

"What are you talking about?" he asked narrowly.

"I … I…" A tear dropped from one of Ashleigh's closed eyes and fell down to the busy abyss below her. "I … I took away the one she loved most … I took him away from her forever…"

A/N: Muahaha … left a bit of a cliffie for you there. Literally o.o; For those of you who forgot, the Sierra I mentioned in this chapter is the real Sierra, the orphan-like girl. Well … I have some more sneaky plans up my sleeve. The ending is drawing near. Okay, so I said it a couple of chapters ago ... but this time, it's nearer than you think. Happy ending?...You'll just have to see :D But all of you are so damn good at convincing me to make a happy ending ... especially you, KathGriever:P Thanks for the support everyone! I really appreciate it!