Authors note: Sorry it's been so long but now it's summer vacation and I have lots of free time =)

Chapter 4 ~ False actualizations

After he helped Jamie clean up the gym, Obi-Wan went into the gardens to meditate.

He breathed in the clean air and sat down under a tree next to the river. Looking into the river Obi-Wan saw someone else's reflection.

"It sure is peaceful here isn't it?"

Obi-Wan looked up to see Knight Mandle staring down at him.

He was going to stand, but the young knight put a hand on his shoulder.

"Obi-Wan," he started, and sat down next to the initiate.

At that moment Qui-Gon Jinn entered the gardens looking for Obi-Wan.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Knight Mandle sitting next to his Obi-Wan.

He listened intently before leaving.

"I just wanted to ask you if you would like to be my padawan."

Qui-Gon could feel his heart fall to his stomach. The jedi master decided not to wait to hear Obi-Wan's answer. He walked out of the gardens and went to his apartment.

* * *

'It's for the best. I decided a long time ago not to get another apprentice.' Qui-Gon thought to himself.

'It's for the best.'

Qui-Gon could feel loneliness attack him from all angles. He was trapped, between a rock and a hard place.

His heart was on fire with jealousy and disappointment. Disappointment not in obi-Wan, but himself. He should have realized that he and Obi-Wan was fading away. He was totally oblivious to anything around him. He should have told Obi-Wan that he was proud of him, that he ment more to him then anything. Qui-Gon began to get upset with himself.

'It's your fault Jinn' he said to himself. 'You just had to ignore the problems and wallow in self-pity. Your such a fool.'

He scolded himself and afterwards felt terrible.

'So this must be depression.'

The jedi master at that point did fall into depression and walked back to the gardens, hoping Obi-Wan and his master would be gone.

* * *

Qui-Gon entered the gardens with no sign of Knight Mandle or Obi-Wan.

He let out a sigh of relief and sat down next to the river.

He could barely remember the time he was happy and content. That was nine years ago when Obi-Wan was with him. He wondered if he would ever be happy again.

Not wanting to think about anything, Qui-Gon closed his eyes and tried to meditate.

A few minutes later the force was speaking to him, telling him to open his eyes.

He did.

"Master Jinn?"

"Obi-Wan? What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

Qui-Gon remembered the time Obi-Wan came into his apartment wanting to speak with him. But he had brushed him off.

"Of course Obi-Wan, what is it?"

"I wanted to know if you are proud of what I did today."

"Yes Obi-Wan, of course I am proud." The large master said and pulled the boy into his arms.

"Obi-Wan I wanted so much for you to be my padawan. I'm so sorry I didn't ask." He confessed, coming close to tears.

"Are you asking me to become your padawan?"

"I would if Knight Mandle hadn't asked you."

"He did but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Well didn't you say yes?"

"No. I wanted you to ask me."

Qui-Gon pulled away from Obi-Wan so he could look the boy in the eyes.

"Obi-Wan will you be my padawan?"

"It would be my pleasure Master Qui-Gon." Obi-Wan said and smiled at Qui- Gon's shocked face.

"Thank you my Obi-Wan."

"For what master?"

"Saving me."

~TBC~

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