The Quest for the Holy Sake Cup

Part 3-The Castle Mononucleosis

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As the cold, dark night's rain ushered out from the sky---

Usher: It's gettin wet in here, so take off all your clothes---

cough

As I said, it was raining very hard. Sir Miki had mysteriously lost his coconut banger and was at the moment huddled under a tree branch with a few giant, mysteriously warm and soft rocks. Suddenly one of them moved.

Miki: Aaa---mmm

The hand reaches out to cover his mouth before he can say any more. Miki tones it down to a low whisper.

Miki: Who are you guys!

Merry: We're hobbits.

Pip: We're hiding from something, but I'm not sure what.

Miki turns to a fatter, more robust hobbit.

Sam: We're hiding from this thing with long black stuff covering its face...

Frodo: It must have something to do with the "Ring"..

Suddenly a little girl grabs Miki with her hand, her black hair falling in front of her face.

Miki: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Suddenly the girl "fooshes" back her hair and begins to speak.

Samara: Where the fk is my one Ring! I paid a lot of money for that to be inscribed! I just spent SEVEN DAYS in a well just trying to find the s-o-b! I had to make a video tape advertisement and make all these calls and it turns out that YOU freakin took it!

Miki: clutches his rose signet in fear. eep.

Frodo: holds up the Ring

Samara: WTF?

Frodo: INSPECTO PETROLEUM!

the Ring: emits a huge ray of light and ricochets into a well, conveniently placed nearby

Samara: Oh $#&! jumps into the well to get it MMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY PRECCCIIIIOOOOOUUUSSSSSS! Looks like Samara's blasting off again! ping

Miki: jumps up and puts cover over the well

Frodo: to the others Well, glad that's over..Hey guys, let's all have a barbeque!

Others sans Miki: Okay!

As the others run off into the distance, Miki sees a strange beacon in the distance. Well, the other distance, that is.

Miki: That's--that's it! The holy sake cup! runs to the castle doors

Miki: rings the doorbell, whose ringtone sounds mysteriously like the themesong to Evangelion What the---aaah!

Suddenly, an intercom goes off.

Intercom: wel--to--fish--gay...

Miki: Eh?

Intercom: Ca--u-ear-ee-ow?

Miki: I can't hear you...

Intercom: How bout now?

Miki: Yes.

Intercom: Good. Welcome to this estate, please enjoy your stay.

Miki: hesitantly Okay...

The doors open and inside are many girls in white robes dancing, giggling,jumping rope, playing with one another's hair and having pillow fights. A lovely short-purple-haired girl with a long veil steps up to greet him.

Girl: Welcome, Sir Knight. I am Zokue, and welcome to the Castle Mononucleosis!

Miki: The Castle MONONUCLEOSIS!

Zokue: I know, it's not a very nice name is it? Oh, but we are nice! But look at you! Look, girls, the poor dear is cold and wet and hungry!

Miki: Well, actually, I--

Zokue: We must take him to the special room to see the doctors!

Miki: The "special" room--Wait--hey!

A large brothel of girls carry him up the stair to a large room with a bed and three girls in VERY skimpy nurse outfits. Miki sits down on the bed.

Miki: nosebleed Hellooooooooooo Nurse!

Nurse 1: Hello, Sir! You look wet and dirty...

Miki: Eeeehhhh...

Nurse 2: Let's take off these wet clothes and give you a nice spongebath!

Miki: OHMIGOD! That's really not--aahh! Not there!Please--

A young, sultry, blue-haired girl walks in the room.

Girl: What is going on here---miki!

Miki: squints Zokue?

Kozue: No you idiot! It's your twin sister, Kozue! What are you doing here!

Miki: I saw a sake cup over your castle and am looking for the holy sake cup, so...

Kozue: Oh! Wicked Zokue! She must have been setting light to our beacon, which I just remembered is sake cup-shaped. Oooohhh! Naughty Zokue!

Miki: gets up off bed, trying to salvage his disheveled garments So, it's not here then?

Kozue: I'm afraid not..Oh! You must punish Zokue--all of us need a good spanking!

Miki, who is now surrounded by at least half of the brothel, answers shakingly..

Miki: shakingly Spanking, umm...

Kozue: Yes! And after the spanking, the oral sex!

Random Spanish sex music plays in the background..

Girl: DAME MAS GASOLINAS!

beata-beatrix: randomly inserts herself I need to choose friends with different musical interests...runs off to die

Girl: DURO,PAPI, DURO!

Miki: smirk Well, I guess I could stay just a little while longer...

Suddenly, Sir Touga breaks into the room and grabs Miki.

Miki: Wait! No! What the fk are you doing!

Touga: You're in great peril!

Miki: No! Peril is good! A duelist needs a good dose of peril!

Touga: We're leaving!

Miki: I bet you're gay,aren't you!

Touga: glaringly Will you shuttup, bitch!

Miki: turns to audience and sweatdrops Peril! Yo quiero peril!