The Quest for the Holy Sake Cup
Part 3-The Castle Mononucleosis
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As the cold, dark night's rain ushered out from the sky---
Usher: It's gettin wet in here, so take off all your clothes---
cough
As I said, it was raining very hard. Sir Miki had mysteriously lost his coconut banger and was at the moment huddled under a tree branch with a few giant, mysteriously warm and soft rocks. Suddenly one of them moved.
Miki: Aaa---mmm
The hand reaches out to cover his mouth before he can say any more. Miki tones it down to a low whisper.
Miki: Who are you guys!
Merry: We're hobbits.
Pip: We're hiding from something, but I'm not sure what.
Miki turns to a fatter, more robust hobbit.
Sam: We're hiding from this thing with long black stuff covering its face...
Frodo: It must have something to do with the "Ring"..
Suddenly a little girl grabs Miki with her hand, her black hair falling in front of her face.
Miki: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Suddenly the girl "fooshes" back her hair and begins to speak.
Samara: Where the fk is my one Ring! I paid a lot of money for that to be inscribed! I just spent SEVEN DAYS in a well just trying to find the s-o-b! I had to make a video tape advertisement and make all these calls and it turns out that YOU freakin took it!
Miki: clutches his rose signet in fear. eep.
Frodo: holds up the Ring
Samara: WTF?
Frodo: INSPECTO PETROLEUM!
the Ring: emits a huge ray of light and ricochets into a well, conveniently placed nearby
Samara: Oh $#&! jumps into the well to get it MMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY PRECCCIIIIOOOOOUUUSSSSSS! Looks like Samara's blasting off again! ping
Miki: jumps up and puts cover over the well
Frodo: to the others Well, glad that's over..Hey guys, let's all have a barbeque!
Others sans Miki: Okay!
As the others run off into the distance, Miki sees a strange beacon in the distance. Well, the other distance, that is.
Miki: That's--that's it! The holy sake cup! runs to the castle doors
Miki: rings the doorbell, whose ringtone sounds mysteriously like the themesong to Evangelion What the---aaah!
Suddenly, an intercom goes off.
Intercom: wel--to--fish--gay...
Miki: Eh?
Intercom: Ca--u-ear-ee-ow?
Miki: I can't hear you...
Intercom: How bout now?
Miki: Yes.
Intercom: Good. Welcome to this estate, please enjoy your stay.
Miki: hesitantly Okay...
The doors open and inside are many girls in white robes dancing, giggling,jumping rope, playing with one another's hair and having pillow fights. A lovely short-purple-haired girl with a long veil steps up to greet him.
Girl: Welcome, Sir Knight. I am Zokue, and welcome to the Castle Mononucleosis!
Miki: The Castle MONONUCLEOSIS!
Zokue: I know, it's not a very nice name is it? Oh, but we are nice! But look at you! Look, girls, the poor dear is cold and wet and hungry!
Miki: Well, actually, I--
Zokue: We must take him to the special room to see the doctors!
Miki: The "special" room--Wait--hey!
A large brothel of girls carry him up the stair to a large room with a bed and three girls in VERY skimpy nurse outfits. Miki sits down on the bed.
Miki: nosebleed Hellooooooooooo Nurse!
Nurse 1: Hello, Sir! You look wet and dirty...
Miki: Eeeehhhh...
Nurse 2: Let's take off these wet clothes and give you a nice spongebath!
Miki: OHMIGOD! That's really not--aahh! Not there!Please--
A young, sultry, blue-haired girl walks in the room.
Girl: What is going on here---miki!
Miki: squints Zokue?
Kozue: No you idiot! It's your twin sister, Kozue! What are you doing here!
Miki: I saw a sake cup over your castle and am looking for the holy sake cup, so...
Kozue: Oh! Wicked Zokue! She must have been setting light to our beacon, which I just remembered is sake cup-shaped. Oooohhh! Naughty Zokue!
Miki: gets up off bed, trying to salvage his disheveled garments So, it's not here then?
Kozue: I'm afraid not..Oh! You must punish Zokue--all of us need a good spanking!
Miki, who is now surrounded by at least half of the brothel, answers shakingly..
Miki: shakingly Spanking, umm...
Kozue: Yes! And after the spanking, the oral sex!
Random Spanish sex music plays in the background..
Girl: DAME MAS GASOLINAS!
beata-beatrix: randomly inserts herself I need to choose friends with different musical interests...runs off to die
Girl: DURO,PAPI, DURO!
Miki: smirk Well, I guess I could stay just a little while longer...
Suddenly, Sir Touga breaks into the room and grabs Miki.
Miki: Wait! No! What the fk are you doing!
Touga: You're in great peril!
Miki: No! Peril is good! A duelist needs a good dose of peril!
Touga: We're leaving!
Miki: I bet you're gay,aren't you!
Touga: glaringly Will you shuttup, bitch!
Miki: turns to audience and sweatdrops Peril! Yo quiero peril!
