since i'm outta town for the next two weeks with no computer access, i figured i should try and get two full chapters up. so here's the second one. (my "editors" revoked the Mary-Sue warning flag on this chapter..hopefully readers agree, if not let me know, and i'll work to fix it).
anywho, i hope all readers enjoy!
same warnings & disclaimers apply.
Chapter 7: Whisper
"I can honestly say you're the first person I've ever seen wearing lenses." Katarin looked casually up at the voice she was coming so well to know.
"Well Obi-Wan," she said, mock-serious, "even you must know the saying 'there's a first time for everything.'"
"Yes…how well I know that one," he agreed, sitting in a chair opposite her across the small archive table, "part of that lesson about not dealing in absolutes."
"Of course….although don't we all…." She finished under her breath as he furrowed his brows curiously.
"Sometimes I question whether you're a Jedi padawan or not." He said, a most unreadable, stoic look crossing his face. Her eyes widened in momentary shock before returning to normal as she leaned in closer to him.
"What then would I be…a Sith maybe?" She tentatively questioned, a playfully curious tone to her voice, covering a more serious concern.
"Not you," he said without hesitating, "not that I can sense at any rate," he conceded as she smiled relieved, hoping it wasn't obvious, "you just have some of the broadest, almost refreshing outlooks and views."
"I wouldn't go that far," she shrugged and shook her head indifferently, "I just had a very different time in my life before coming to the Jedi temple," 'isn't that the truth,' "it just helped me to see things as they should be, and not always trust what others teach me—to believe what I will, and nothing in between."
"Something so definitive could prove dangerous one day." Obi-Wan said wisely.
"Anything could, so what gives one belief more potential over others?"
"I guess it all comes from how passionately the belief is held onto." Katarin blanched, a confused smile forming on her face.
"Passion…? Coming from a Jedi? I thought only Sith dealt with such feelings."
"To Jedi its more conviction," Obi-Wan clarified, "its passion with control and reason—"
"But is there truly such a thing…? I mean—the only honest difference between us is the will to help others versus self motivation."
"Us?"
"Sith and Jedi." She quickly said, fighting back an embarrassed flush.
"Of course—and thank the force they're extinct," Katarin bit her lip ever so discreetly, "no good has come of their presence in the galaxy."
"Well I guess it all depends on your definition of 'good.'" Immediately she regretted her words, having momentarily forgotten her cover as a Jedi padawan who would see the Sith as evil. She watched a look of surprised shock cross Obi-Wan's face.
"You sound like one them Katarin…." He calmly said, more surprised than ever such words came from a fellow Jedi padawan. But yet something about that open mind of hers made him almost envious, and made her all the unique, and ultimately endearing.
"I don't mean to," she quickly said dismissively, "that's just my slightly off-kilter world view…the way I see the galaxy." She hoped that sounded honest enough—something in his eyes made her want his trust so desperately. 'Wait, why do I?' some voice flashed in her mind.
"Through those lenses of yours," he agreed, a light, good-humored laugh on his words, "anything is possible. And I do have to keep in mind that you are here training and not…somewhere else." She smiled, letting her eyes settle on his. She felt herself inexplicably drawn to him—maybe it was that she loved his questioning of her. He was the only one not complacent enough to not question her. And that made him seem her equal…'at least as far as a Jedi goes.' She shook her head.
"You are the most interesting Jedi I have ever met." An honest smile formed on the ends on her words as she felt herself suddenly wanting to be lost in his eyes.
"You say that as though you haven't met many before…." He curiously noted, watching her olive-green eyes dance behind her lenses. She forced her eyes from his, scrambling to think of a response.
"I've met countless Jedi…but you—I don't know what it is—…truly intrigue me." She finished shrugging her shoulders embarrassedly. She found she had nothing else to say, fighting away countless disapproving thoughts. She could almost see all the thoughts he kept buried swirling around his handsome face. 'Handsome?...most certainly so,' a feminine voice whispered.
Obi-Wan's eyes suddenly found hers, looking almost guilty at having heard something he shouldn't have. Katarin couldn't tell if he had heard her—if he had, he chose to say nothing of it.
"Then I guess its only fair that you know you interest, captivate, amaze me even more than any other Jedi padawan has," he said softly, "more than any Jedi padawan should." A forced note rang on his voice—he knew it was wrong to deeply feel for her. But the more he came to be around her, the more his feelings became unstoppable.
"There you go again," she said, catching him by surprise, "letting passions and feelings become overrun by logic," 'did I just say 'passions'?', "don't you need to let go your conscience self and act on instinct?" She asked, an almost sly note to her voice, surprising even herself. He narrowed his gaze, pointed and knowing.
"Some instincts, feelings, are forbidden." She shook her head, sighing exasperatedly.
"I told you you were too smart—for your own good." She added, matching his small laugh.
"And I told you you were too confident—"
"What a pair we make." She heard herself say, her smile suddenly falling as she realized what she'd said. It seemed to hit them both as they both sat in a silence with only a whisper of awkwardness, of a thrill between them. 'We could….' Her eyes flew to his.
"Obi-Wan?...Katarin?" Both jerked their heads at Temos' sudden voice.
"Temos!" Lenia quickly scolded, "they were having a moment, and you ruined it."
"A moment?" Katarin asked dubiously
"Never mind her," Bant quickly said, "Lenia has yet to fully understand that rule about Jedi being forbidden to love."
"Well it wasn't anything like that." Obi-Wan said, forcing a dismissive tone to his voice, as Katarin looked at him. 'I know you're lying….' 'They don't know that,' he replied equally as quiet as she had.
"Well good," Temos said, clearly not caring one way or the other, "anyway onto species inhabiting systems in the outer rim."
"Most exciting to be sure." Katarin said, her voice lack for luster and she scrolled through a data pad Bant set on the table.
"You guys have at it," Temos said, "Bant and I are going to go see what else we can find on the archive shelves." Obi-Wan and Lenia nodded in agreement as Katarin poured through the information in front of her.
"Oh curses." Katarin's head shot up, laughter clearly written across her face as she fought to keep it silent.
"Pardon?" She looked curiously at Obi-Wan, her mirth evident.
"I left some information on the natives of Yavin in my quarters."
"I didn't think Yavin was in the outer rim," she quickly said, furrowing her brows, "is it?"
"I don't know," he said rising from the table, "but we'll soon find out." She shook her head, fighting back a laugh.
"Forgetful."
"Perfectionist." 'Force help us—we sound like an old married couple!' "I'll be back," he quickly said on the end of his laughter, "Lenia, Katarin." His gaze lingered for but a second before turning. Katarin turned back to her water bottle, still gazing at the data pad. Part of her was dying to feel like her old self again, but another part of her loved these new feelings.
"You love him don't you?" Katarin could have choked at Lenia's sudden words.
"What?" She sputtered.
"You're in love with Obi-Wan aren't you?" Lenia asked more eagerly.
"No—Si-Jedi are forbidden to love." Katarin quickly corrected, glad to see Lenia glaze over it.
"Oh please—you're into him, he's into you…," Lenia said, shaking her head, almost annoyed at Katarin's blatant dismissal. "I must say I'm a little jealous. But you two work well together—he's like the Golden boy, and you're the dark, rebel-rouser." 'If only you knew how dark….'
"I thought Jedi didn't get jealous…."
"Same as love—it's forbidden…but we're only all human. No one is perfect." Lenia argued back.
" 'Out of the crooked timber of humanity no straight thing can ever be made.'"
"Wow that's dark. I've not heard that Jedi-saying before."
"It's not one." Katarin answered without really thinking about it.
"Then who's is it?" Katarin suddenly smirked almost evilly at Lenia, more then ready for a little fun.
"The Sith." Katarin hissed, releasing a pulse of suppressed dark feelings and a dark flash in her eyes. Lenia jerked back, eyes wide with borderline fear.
"You're…you're not…not supposed to know their teachings unless you're…you're a…" Lenia stuttered, trying not to think on those feelings that had just surrounded her.
"Calm down Lenia," Katarin said, lightening the force and her appearance, "I'm not. I know some of their sayings only because Master Gitan thought it wise to give me some insight into my enemy."
"But the force…you said that word…and I felt…felt cold, alone…."
"Are you sure?" Katarin asked innocently, knowing hidden deep in her green eyes.
"Yes," Lenia said confidently as she rose, reading that look in Katarin's eyes all to well, regarding Katarin suspiciously, almost terrified even, "and it came from you. I know it." Lenia turned on her heels and fled. Katarin watched her go, tilting her head to the side, biting her lip in satisfaction. 'That was fun.' And it had felt so good to use those powers she'd so long been suppressing. Pain cut through the back of her head most unexpectedly.
"Whoa…." She mumbled quietly, bringing a hand up to rest over the throbbing back-half of her skull. 'Damn that master-apprentice bond!' Setti knew what she just did—knew her drawing on her dark-side powers. Another wave passed through her head. And he was not pleased. Once again, she supposed she deserved it…even though it had been great fun and a small release to use her hidden powers, it was risky and dangerous for her. Surely Lenia would tell her master…or her master would find out, and Gitan would find out…then it would come full circle back to her.
She sighed expectantly, rubbing the back of her head and popping her neck before finding herself able to concentrate on the work before her.
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She couldn't really say how much time had passed—Temos and Bant had long left, as had Lenia. She looked up from her work at hearing footsteps, most eager to see a smiling face. 'A smiling face…?' some voice in the back of her head said disgustedly.
"Hey you." She said as Obi-Wan rounded a corner and headed her way.
"How far are you?" He asked as he sat opposite her, opening the file in his hands.
"Far…but not far enough I fear." She answered, fighting to suppress a yawn. He looked up and smiled interestedly.
"You sound tired." His eyes focused on the rod permanently between her eyes. He'd never before seen it without the lenses attached.
"What?" She asked interestedly, curiously, noticing his fixed eyes on her.
"I've just…never seen you without your lenses attached," he raised two fingers to his nose indicating the bar, "it makes you look…I don't know…like a rebel or something." He heard himself say before instantly regretting how foolish it sounded. She laughed lightly and instinctively brushed her thumb against an end of the rod.
"Of course…that's why I did it you know," she said good humouredly, "sorry if it makes you uncomfortable—I can put my lenses back on."
"No, no," he quickly stopped her, "I rather like it—adds to your uniqueness and there's not enough of that here." A genuine smile crossed her face before she lowered her eyes and started rifling through the many layers of the paper on the table.
"Well I'm staring at least three chapters worth of reading in the face, so," she rose from the table, book in hand, "I'll leave you with some of these problems and I'm gonna go sprawl on the couch and read." He nodded quickly before turning back to his work as she walked towards the couch.
As if, just by his inherent nature, he wasn't working his way through her ice barriers and into her heart…he had to be sweet on top of it all. 'All the more reason to go read on a couch by myself…away from him—especially this late at night…,' she thought with an almost downcast note to her voice, before she could think not to—hoping to the force he hadn't heard her.
Not that the governing systems of species on outer rim planets like Tatooine were not interesting, Katarin still found herself dozing in and out of consciousness. It had only grown later and the archives had grown much quieter. In fact, she was beginning to suspect she was the only one who had stayed so late…but really it wasn't by her choosing. The data file lay across her chest from where she half-laid, half-sat on the sofa, head propped against a pillow. Through and through, Katarin could say she felt relaxed and under no pressure. Oddly enough…. Things at the Temple were finally starting to fall into place, and she was beginning to even experience contentment being in the Temple, the voices beneath her mental shields fading away. She lay in an almost asleep state, convincing herself she would rise and continue reading.
'Not happening…,' her mind groggily corrected her. The falls of soft footsteps distantly reached her ears, but still she lay motionless as though asleep. She heard a breathy, almost silent laugh and could sense the mirth of the person looking on her. Suddenly the cushion she was sitting on sank under the weight of another. Her heart started to race and her mind snapped to a more alert state. No sooner had he sat down than she knew him—knew him just by the feel of his warmth. 'Obi-Wan.'
"Only you Katarin would fall asleep in the Jedi archives…," he said, almost playfully scolding, yet with an admiring tone to his voice, filling Katarin with surprise. But surprise quickly gave way under a warm thumb caress that fell against her cheek. The warmth from his simple touch was spreading quickly throughout her and she fought to keep her breathing normal, still feigning sleep. Two lips brushed against hers, ever so gently, ever so teasingly…before disappearing altogether. The weight left the cushion and retreating footsteps pierced the silence.
Katarin lay in shock—her eyes flew open and let a deep breath leave her. Obi-Wan had just kissed her…a not entirely unwelcome thing she was surprised to discover. An excited smile and blush spread to her face as she rolled over on the pillow, remembering the faint feel of his lips against hers. She knew in her mind of minds that one simple kiss should be forbidden and forgotten just as quickly, but knew in her heart of hearts she wanted not much more.
well there starts their beyond-friends relationship. review if'n ya want. next chapter will be up in roughly two weeks or so.
(i'm also working on a "Batman Begins" fic...so i hope to gets lots of writing done during the long car trips).
