hello all. thanks for the reviews! here we go with the next chapter. a bit of weak chapter on its own, but it fits in the scope of the story (sets up stuff for later).

A note to Audra Laudarque--yes you can use the Meditation through motion. I actually got the idea while doing yoga, and that's what I based if off of (just a much more advanced form), so I can't really claim it as my own. But feel free to add it in your story.

same warnings & discalimer apply.

Chapter 9: Determination and disappointment

Fortunately enough, it was waiting for Katarin on the table the very next morning. A message from Setti. A black data pad in the midst of a clear-glass table.

"

Atrides—

Travel plans of Jedi Ambassadors to Malastare will be passing from Master Mace Windu to Master Qui-Gon Jinn within days. In the early morning tomorrow, the data pad will lie unattended. Create a duplicate copy and arrive at transport pad C19 promptly at 2100.

"

She knew both those names. Windu, simply because he was on the council and one of the wisest Jedi in the order, and Jinn since he was Obi-Wan's master. 'The fool…fools. Every single one of the Jedi.' And sure enough, the plans had been right where the data pad had informed her. Lying idly, unattended as though it was nothing more than trash. It was as though they knew someone would be trying to take them…and the thought had crossed her mind, but Gitan assured her there was not even a whisper of doubt amongst the council.

'Who knew Jedi could be so efficient and helpful without trying…,' she smirked, shaking her head mock-scolding from her seat in the transporter. Suddenly Setti's words echoed in her head. 'Never underestimate your enemy—that only leads to your own demise. Estimate them to be as strong as you, then you're almost guaranteed to never lose.'

Katarin huffed silently. Just the mere thought of even imaging a Jedi to be as powerful as her made her sick, and want to laugh. She was so beyond any of the Jedi padawans she associated with.

"Even Obi-Wan." She muttered to herself. 'Even Obi-Wan, with his deep eyes, intelligence, and handsome smile.' Her eyes shut in frustration. She could have sworn she vowed not to think of him as anything but her enemy ever again. 'Yet here I am….' She sighed heavily.

This voyage and mission were proving to be nothing more than a mass of contradictions, filing her life with one thing. Uncertainty—that in of itself made her feel powerless. And before being sent to the Jedi Temple, her life held certainty and power.

And now, Katarin sat in a transport, speeding to a waiting Setti, fighting a mess of feelings and thoughts. Not only were random thoughts of Obi-Wan skittering through her mind, but for the first time in her life, there was fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of Setti, fear of him reading her feelings and thoughts—she couldn't say for sure, but just the mere, unshakable presence of it was discomforting. Not even the familiar texture of her black robes, straight hair and dark makeup were comforting or helpful in quelling her fear. 'I just have to bury it…deep inside, with Black Moon. Some place not even Setti could find it,' she reasoned. Katarin snapped her lenses off and closed her eyes, breathing deep, focusing for some deep meditation.

She wasn't even sure the transport had landed when the captain informed her of Setti's anxiousness to see her. And so, with route maps and flight plans in hand, Katarin stiffly walked towards the control room.

Master Setti was sure to be there, ready and waiting for her delivery. And confidently could she hand these over—the Jedi weren't going to change and no one knew of her duplicate copy.

The releasing of compressed air filled the lift as she sighed deeply before stepping into the control room.

"I trust you have them, Katarin." A soft, commanding, powerful voice said, floating up from a high-back chair.

"Of course Master Setti," Katarin nodded obediently, respectfully, as she handed the plans to a technician, "the Jedi expect this area to be filled with ships unfriendly to the Gran, so the presence of fighters won't startle them."

"On that, we will see," Setti said wisely, "Jedi are known for being cautious even though they know to expect trouble." She nodded, feeling some anger at being treated like a child, but quickly let it go before Setti could sense it.

"Coming up on screen, sir." The technician simply said as the opaque image of the planned route showed over the actual route the transports were taking. Katarin sighed silently and turned to go. 'Why am I so jumpy!'

"Katarin I would hate for you to miss this." Setti calmly said, not even rising an eyebrow.

"Of course sir." She said, fighting to keep the unwillingness out of her voice. She clasped her hands behind her back as she stood behind a railing that ran behind Setti's chair. Katarin watched anxiously, doubt and borderline fear of the coming few minutes attempting to consume her mind, creeping out from beneath her shields.

'She doubts her self-confidence—uncertainty is plaguing her. The temple has made her weak.' Setti made the mental note. He turned his eyes back to the screen.

So far so good. These plans were accurate. The Jedi transports were following the exact path Katarin had brought. If all the recon information Katarin brought was as accurate as this flight plan, than every movement made by Jedi could be tracked. What a better way to slowly pick off the Jedi order then to know their locations ahead of time and attack from there.

"Sir, they're not turning." Katarin's heart stopped and her eyes flew to the screen.

"The fighters might be too close—back them off." She ordered, quickly, thinking of something to do to make them turn. The only thoughts filling her mind were that of torture, pain at Setti's hand, his discovery of everything she'd worked to hide. 'Turn!' In the last second, the transports went hard-right, back on track.

"For a moment, I almost lost faith in you Katarin." Setti smoothly commented.

"Understandably so, sir." She quietly agreed, feeling her heart rate slow to normal. 'That would be twice he could have lost faith in me,' she thought quietly.

'Good girl,' Setti unnoticeably smirked, 'she hides feelings and thoughts well for someone of her skill level…but not well enough for a master.' Oh yes, Setti knew of the Black Moon. Knew of her experiences in the Jedi temple, the first-time presence of fear clouding her mind. He could see the weakness in her growing, the tiny fissure breaking through her shields and determined will. But he also knew of the fierce inner strength the young woman possessed, and felt certain she would rise above her shortcomings and personal mistakes to be something more. And if not of her own volition, he would help her to do just that. Of that he was certain.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next morning didn't dawn early enough for Katarin. Considering she had been up since 0500 Coruscant time the previous day, and now at 0800 the next day, Katarin had still had no sleep. She could tell by the look in Setti's eyes that she looked horrible. 'And who wouldn't…,' she sleepily reasoned.

But thank the force Setti had finally released her and sent her back to Coruscant. He had seemed pleased enough with the accuracy of the delivered information, so much so that he had not informed her when their next meeting would be. And for the time being, that suited Katarin perfectly.

She only wanted sleep, and she hated having to leave behind all traces of her true self—the black robes, straight hair, black eye makeup— all sense of power and surety vanished when she returned to the drab beige and brown. And suddenly, as the transport clunked to an unusually rough stop at the Jedi temple, a general feeling of powerlessness washed over her. She reasoned it would fade away once she slept, but somewhere in her heart of hearts she doubted it. 'What is happening to me?' she wondered dopily as she walked through a sunny, warm, almost deserted corridor.

"Katarin?" She turned at the soft, sure voice behind her.

"Hi Temos." She said, fighting back a yawn.

"Are you alright? You look terrible." He said, concern filling his green eyes.

"I'm fine. I was just up all night—heading off to bed right now."

"Won't Master Gitan kill you for that?" Temos asked curiously. "Wasting a day sleeping?"

"It was Master Gitan who had me set up all night, working," Katarin quickly explained, noting the look of sheer disbelief on Temos' face, "but he'll let me sleep today. He knows my accomplishments and a day spent resting is deserved."

"Lucky you," Temos said, a hint of envy tainting his voice, "oh, Obi-Wan was looking for you last night—something about returning a data pad of some kind…." He trailed off, as Katarin could only stare back at him blankly.

"Oh!" She suddenly said, shaking her head—feeling every inch the stupid fool—as realization finally dawned on her. "Yeah, thanks, I'll find him later." She said, a diplomatic note to her voice.

"Right—go get some sleep before you fall over." Temos agreed as he turned from her, smiling good-humoredly. She shook her head, fighting back an amused smile, as she continued towards her quarters, mentally noting to find Obi-Wan sometime.

Right now, Katarin needed eleven or so hours to sleep, and she would be herself again, ready and fully determined to carry on with her mission.


well thats it for now. drop a line if'n ya want. next chapter up in a week or so.