hello all. sorry for the long delay--busy hectic week...but its almost over (woo-hoo!). anywho--chapter 10. thanks to all reviewers & faithful readers! you guys motivate me to keep writing & posting this story and others soon to come.

same warnings & disclaimer apply

Chapter 10: Ultimately

That ever familiar humming sound was music to Katarin's ears. It had been too long since she'd held a lightsaber. 'If only it was red….'

Even so, it felt good to move, to hold the powerful weapon in her hands, to feel the force flow through her and the weapon. She was amazed at how well and easily she could handle the Jedi lightsaber with its naturally mined crystals. She could have sworn she'd heard Setti say something about needing different force auras to work with the different lightsaber crystals. But that was years ago that she learned about lightsabers….

She shook her head quickly, shaking such thoughts away, as she wiped at her head with a towel. Those thoughts would only distract her. She was alone in a small practice room, giving her the perfect opportunity to work on the more advanced moves she had been learning as of late under Setti's teachings. As a Padawan learner, she should not be as advanced in her fighting skills or even some of her force controlling skills, but as student of the Dark Side, she was right on track. She wiped her forehead one last time before focusing on the hovering lightsaber in front of her.

'You're more in focus when you're less in focus,' Setti had once told her. And having seen the way he swiftly moved around her, blocking and dodging every one of her blows, she believed it true. But at first, she was at a loss at his words. His explanation came simply when he held his lightsaber in midair through the force and proceeded to effortlessly, acrobatically back flip over it, landing squarely, with the lightsaber unmoved.

All Katarin could remember was standing in awe, eager for the day she would be capable of such control. 'Your insatiable appetite for such power is admirable…but it will come with time, my apprentice.' Hearing Setti's wise words in her head, she faced the still hovering blade, licking her lips, determined to get it right this time.

She breathed deep and kicked upwards. She tucked her knees together and up, seeing the blade out of the corner of her eye as she pulled her arms in tight. She concentrated all available mind power on the blade. But instantly, both she and the blade fell back to the padded gym floor. She landed on her upper-back close to her neck, the rest of her body rolling over her, spilling her right arm directly over the still-lit lightsaber.

"OW!" She jerked her arm up, her left hand instinctively flying to the burned skin. She grimaced, taking a deep breath, mentally cursing her own weakness. Slowly she pulled her left hand back and looked at the burned, bleeding wound running across her upper right arm. 'Well that'll teach me to do better,' she thought determinedly, shaking her head and sighing deeply.

No matter how many times she worked at what Setti showed her, she couldn't quite get it. Every time that she had attempted it today, she had fallen. She just couldn't muster the full concentration to guide her movements and maintain the blade's steady position. Not only would she have to up her training time, she mentally noted as she rose, blade in hand, but also her meditation time.

'Katarin…I thought I sensed you in here.' She spun around to face the door. Obi-Wan's usual gray-blue eyes found hers and without even asking she knew why he had chosen to come at this time.

"Don't you have class?" She asked curiously, walking over towards him, her bare feet leaving slight imprints in the padded floor.

"Not today," he answered calmly, approaching her, unlit lightsaber in hand, "looks like you've been here awhile already." He said, fully noting her sweat-streaked forehead, the skin around her black-spaghetti-strap shirt glistening, and…the rather long burn across her right arm. "And seem to have had an accident….." He said, a caring note to his voice.

"Stupid really," she said, mentally chiding herself again for her earlier weakness in skill, "but it's happened before, and I won't let it again." She said resolutely.

"But 'history repeats itself—first as tragedy," he glanced at the burn on her arm, "the second time as—"

"'Farce', yes" she finished quickly, "but what if it was farce the first time?" She questioned, turning her head sideways, glaring at him challengingly, a smile playing across her face. He shook his head frustratingly, a playful smile spreading across his usually unreadable face.

"You talk a lot for person who is seizing up her opponent…." He noted.

"I'm a woman—I can multi-task like that," she said shrugging her shoulders, crossing her foot behind her and switching directions, "besides there is always the hope that idle talk will distract the opponent from seizing you up." She watched as he purposely let his eyes travel up and down her trim form, taking in her loose white pants, black top and slight amount of skin showing between the two.

"Not possible." He said, shaking his head, smiling as she rolled her eyes. "Sorry to disappoint you."

"You won't be for long…" She trailed off, holding her lit blade between her two hands at the ready. He moved in a flash and energy met energy. The electric sounds of lightsabers clashing together and flying through the air was the only sound to be heard, expect of course for their heavy, rapid breathing. His movements were so fluid…so connected. Not even Setti had this polished of an air about his movements. But that only made her want to work harder against Obi-Wan, to give him a run for his money and see just how far his smoothness would take him.

He continued smoothly counteracting her blows and parries, amazed by the rawness with which she seemed to fight. Katarin had some skills…there was no denying that, but never had he met with a Padawan who was lacking in fluidity with the force and movements, yet Katarin's unpolished, even aggressive fighting still was strangely refreshing to him. 'Aggressive…a Jedi?' A moment—she shot her right hand towards Obi-Wan and he flew back a few feet, that look of mental-berating on his face as some much needed space was put between them.

Her blade hummed at her side as she rested a hand on her hip, breathing deep. She hadn't expected a Padawan to be so skilled…. It was surprising…and great all at the same time, since it made for excellent sparing. 'Thank you.' She smirked, narrowing her eyes as they locked on his, and she shook her head.

'You're so cocky sometimes…'

'You should be too, you know. You're the best of the students I've sparred with.' She wished she could say the same. And honestly, a part of her thought she could…but she knew more than she was unleashing on Obi-Wan. However much she wanted to go full strength, drawing on every bit of her lightsaber training, she couldn't—that would give her away too easily.

"Go again?" She asked, bringing the blade back between her hands.

"Of course—can't have you spreading around that you won…." Another flash move of his and he was right in front her, his blade swiping centimeters from her face. But hers was right there to meet his and just that quickly, round two had begun.

Force it was getting harder for her to use self-restraint. His moves were steadily getting more and more involved and harder to block using simple maneuvers. If it came to a lock down, his strength against hers, he would win hands down…and she couldn't lose to him. Yet, a part of her wanted to…to submit to him, hopefully drawing him in closer….

Obi-Wan could sense her mind was working as she was fighting so skillfully and he marveled at that. She was just a Padawan…she wouldn't even have some of the higher level saber training that Master Jinn had started teaching him. Yet she was thinking on things other than fighting, yet still putting up one hell of a fight.

Not once had she given him an opening or a chance. Suddenly she ducked, spinning low on her feet and coming up slightly behind him, blade brandished and waiting. He felt a smirk tugging at his lips. 'So she does have some advanced training….' A smirk formed across his face as he started to draw from his all his saber training as the spar was suddenly kicked up a notch. His blade flew past her face and she moved hers with breakneck speed to catch it before it hit her arm. She met with all the strength she could muster, and found herself surprisingly in a lockdown with him.

Their blades pushed against each other, pitting bodyweight against bodyweight. This was how matches were won or lost. She focused all she could muster and their blades moved away from her arm, up above their heads. Balancing her strength against his, she shifted her hands around on the lightsaber handle and leapt up, twisting her body in a flip around their blades and over his head, using the constant pressure from their clashing blades to provide a steady enough griping point. She landed squarely on her feet, spinning around, ready for more….

'Wait…is that clapping?' She looked frantically over at the door where Obi-Wan's eyes were already glued.

Yoda and group of younglings, all not much taller than Yoda himself Katarin had to notice and hide a snicker, stood in the doorway, having apparently watched the last half of the sparring match. The younglings stood wide-eyed, clapping softly, with dreams of being able to be that skilled lighting their eyes. Embarrassment flooded Katarin's cheeks as she switched her blade off and lowered her head, assuming a stoic expression and biting her lip. Her eyes started searching Yoda for some kind of response. He hardly ever spoke…and compliments in particular were oh so rare. A pleased, even semi-proud look crossed his usually unreadable face as he ever so slightly nodded approvingly at the two sweaty Padawans.

"Mastser Yoda," a tiny voice asked, catching Katarin's attention and she walked forward and stood beside Obi-Wan, "are these two Jedi Knights?"

"Jedi Knights they are not—merely Padawan learners are they, but long it will not be until Masters see them fit for such titles." Yoda simply responded as the initiates parted, making a path for him as he walked through, ready to lead them to a different room.

'I hope I am that skilled someday.'

'I hope I'm that pretty someday.'

'I'm gonna fight just like him!'

Katarin could not help but smile at the children's thoughts that were being shouted all over the room. They had not even begun training on how to quiet and shield their minds, and their excited thoughts were running rampant through the force.

"I didn't realize we had an audience," she said quietly, once they'd left, her eyes still on the door, "and that Yoda was here…I probably shouldn't have done what I did." She admitted more to herself then to Obi-Wan. But of course…he heard.

"I think he was impressed," Obi-Wan said almost dismissively, "I guess his comment about our Masters seeing us fit for trials soon was a compliment. With Yoda…one never seems to know." She turned from the door, shaking her head and sighing relieved.

"I never do." She admitted truthfully. Yoda wasn't one of her Masters, so what he had to say didn't really pertain to much to her. She met his eyes that were swirling with questions…questions that she already knew from the thoughts forming in his head.

'I know you know….'

'So what if I know what you want to ask me?'

"Do I get an answer?" He asked, noting the surprise in her face when he spoke aloud.

"I've had a little advanced training…yes…." She admitted almost sheepishly, as though she was confessing to a crime. "And you've had some too, I noticed..." She trailed off, looking at him surprised.

"Quite obviously—and I have seen that move you pulled before." She looked over at him questioningly, as he took a step closer to her side, "I know you were doubting it and starting to think yourself the better for it." He said a bit more quietly.

"Think we know everything, do we…?" She asked softly, finding her eyes getting lost in his.

"Close enough I would think." That's when she heard the switch of the handle and the hum of an energy beam. But she was right there with him. Again they were at it, pulling at the knowledge and experience they possessed, each blow became steadily more involved and the blocks equally as effective.

The fluidity of his movements still amazed her. "Live like water. Flow and engulf all that you encounter." Obi-Wan certainly did, at least when fighting. And how he managed to keep so polished and accurate under her sharp, more harsh fighting style was also impressive. His left hand shot suddenly out. 'Damn.' She felt herself flying backwards, crashing softly on her back onto the padded floor. She coughed lightly, more shocked that she had let that happen than in pain. Finally she'd given him an opening…and of course he had to take it. He dropped his unlit blade at his feet as he walked over to her, kicking her blade away from the reach of her hand. He looked down at her as she lay, obviously trying to sort out what just happened.

"I can't say I've ever seen you looking that bemused…" He said between heavy breaths.

"Ha ha ha," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "I would have done the same though—had I seen an opening in your concentration…this would be you instead of me." She raised her right hand, pointing up at him.

"But therein lies the point—it is you on the ground." He brought out his hand and clasped it around hers, in friendly effort to help pull her off the floor. But she pulled back harder than he was prepared for and next thing he knew, he found himself half on her, half on the padded floor, her melodic laughter ringing in his ears.

"I can't say I've ever seen you looking that bemused," she said through her laughter, turning his words back on him and looking at him playfully, pointedly.

"I knew you were going to do that," he said, searching her eyes, "but what I hadn't counted on was you're being as strong as you are." He finished quietly, just now realizing how close their faces were and how warm her body was pressed against him. She breathed deep, a smile on her face. Suddenly a surprised, confused blush spread to her face.

"Obi-Wan…!" She asked curiously, smiling in surprise, doubting whether she'd heard that thought correctly. Apparently she had, judging by his now lowered head and red cheeks, and his words still rang surprisingly in her head. 'She feels so soft and good against me.' Of course she had noticed their extremely close proximity but had fought with every ounce of her being to keep from consciously thinking about it (and to keep from thinking about that kiss from the archives!) for that very reason—knowing that he would find out. "I think I'm flattered actually…." She said absentmindedly watching him raise his smirking eyes, biting a corner of his lip ever so discreetly. 'Force, is that a sexy look,' her mind suddenly screamed. Her eyes widened as a knowing smirk crossed his face.

"Katarin…!" He asked, mocking her tone from earlier as his eyes found hers, laced with embarrassment.

"Well….you started it all." 'Oh force—that was real mature,' she scolded herself, barely rolling her eyes.

"Actually," he said, lowering his head and turning his face so it hovered just above hers, "you started it when you pulled me down here next to you."

"On me, you mean…" She corrected, finding her heart starting to race and herself drowning in that look of his.

"Right…." He simply said as she felt his hand start to slide down her right side, getting closer and closer to waist. But however he tried to hide it, she knew what he wanted to achieve. And however much her body was reacting and responding to his touch and feel, her mind wouldn't let her slip. She reached her hand out, searching through the force to find where Obi-Wan had kicked her lightsaber and instantly it was tight in her hand as she heard the hum of Obi-Wan's lightsaber fill the air.

And so the afternoon went, sparring exhaustingly with brief periods of rest in between.

But their brief rest periods were not proving to be of much good, as both Obi-Wan and Katarin were starting to tire. And as such, their fighting started growing sloppy.

"You shouldn't have missed that, Obi-Wan." Katarin mock scolded, her humming blade at her side.

"True, I should not have," he conceded from where he stood, catching his breath as he retrieved his fallen light saber, "and you shouldn't miss this—." He flew towards her, engaging her, blades clashing electrically. She swung her blade around, wearily combating his every move.

Quickly she forced his blade low, holding him fiercely back. But she miscalculated.

Pain ripped through her leg as a scream left her. Her blade dropped to the floor beside her as she crumbled, hands instinctively flying to her leg.

"Katarin!" Obi-Wan tossed his blade aside, dropping to her side, watching her fight to hide a grimace on her forever stoic face.

She pulled her hands away and assessed the long, burned, blood mark running down her leg. 'Matching burns on arm and leg…how nice…,' some dark voice laughingly scoffed.

"I can't believe I let that happen—"

"No Obi-Wan, it was more me than you," she quickly cut him off, in no mood to hear his groveling, "I misjudged their closeness," she paused for a second, "my own weakness I suppose…." The small smile fell from her face as her eyes shut, fighting back a wince. Not at the pain in her leg, but at the realization. She was weak…inherently—her body had limitations that could never be overcome. This was certainly one of them.

Obi-Wan looked curiously at her, sensing a major internal struggle that tugged at his curiosity and care, but also sensing dull waves of pain.

"Come on, we need to get you to a medic." He said, rising slowly, his eyes never leaving her.

"I don't think they're that serious." She said dismissively, attempting to stand. But quickly she favored his right side, lifting all weight from her left foot, hissing almost silently.

"Mm-hmm," Obi-Wan said knowingly, "that's what I thought." Without a sound he moved behind her and picked her up in his arms.

"Obi-Wan! You don't have to carry me!" She said, surprise evident on her voice and smile.

"You can't limp all the whole way there—no gentleman would let a lady." He simply answered as he started for the door, as she rolled her eyes.

'Is there anything I can do to get him to put me down?'

'Maybe.'

'Maybe…sounds promising.' She looped her arms around his neck, holding on.

'Could be…but you're hurt, so odds are no.'

'There must be something.' She let her eyes fall to his, looking at him challengingly over her thin lenses. Obi-Wan's heart was racing. And the opportunity was oh so tempting. He slipped—and temptation finally won.

He closed the inches between them, pressing his lips gently, tentatively against hers. Immediately she returned his kiss, unknown exciting feelings coursing in her heart. Instinctively she parted her lips, letting him in deeper, feelings of love and desire passing through the force between them. 'How could anything forbidden feel so right?'

Reluctantly they parted, both seemingly a little lost. Such powerful, forbidden feelings had never overpowered them before. All Katarin could think of was that teasing kiss of his in the archives—if only she had known what kissing him would be like, she would have gladly kissed him back.

"You knew!" He suddenly, embarrassedly asked.

"About the night in the archives, yes." She admitted gently, a sweet note on her voice, watching him blush.

"From that night on I knew you were dangerous to me—"

"And just look at us now." She said sweetly, meeting his eyes.

"Honestly," he said softly, "I wouldn't have it any other way." Never before had she seen such honesty, sincerity and caring in a person's eyes before. She found herself powerless, completely disarmed. She snuggled closer against him, kissing him ever so gently before nuzzling his cheek.

"Neither would I." Katarin had never spoken truer words. Never in all her years under Setti had she said anything so deeply true and heart felt.

All at once, a new sense of purpose rushed over her, bringing with it a sense of belonging that Katarin had never felt before, and never wanted to lose. He tightened his hold around her, around the one woman he found himself longing to love unlike any other.

"Do you think you should put me down—lest someone were to find us like this?" She suddenly said, pulling her face from his.

"But you are still hurt, so my excuse is a good one." He said, smiling confidently as she laughed.

"I told you I'm sure I can make it to my quarters just fine Obi-Wan." She said, a reassuring note to her voice.

"And I told you, you were too confident." He said, harkening back to their first face-to-face conversation. She leaned in his arms and looked at the seared mark on her leg—true enough it did hurt, and she was inwardly grateful not to have to walk on it—all of which he knew.

"And I told you, you were too smart—this proves it." She smiled mock-angry as she shook her head laughing silently at his smile as they walked down the corridor. "Well after a fresher shower and treating my burn, I'll come by and get the data pad I should have gotten a few days ago." She quickly said.

"Alright, I'll be there, so just come in whenever you get there. I'll be waiting for you." The door to her quarters slid silently open and he set her gently on the sofa before turning to go. Shakily she rose and hobbled after him.

"Obi-Wan." He turned around and she stepped up to him, pressing her lips full against his, loving his immediate reaction. She longed to have his arms around her, but knew now (if ever) was not the time. He pulled back, a smile across his handsome face.

"See you soon." She nodded quickly, excitedly. Without another word he turned to leave and she found herself, sighing, wishing he hadn't left. She knew it now—against everything—she loved him. And it seemed fairly obvious he loved her in return. When words failed him, his eyes spoke volumes. And they'd captured her heart despite the mental shields, hatred and coldness surrounding her.

Maybe it all meant that she wasn't as cold natured as she'd been her whole life…that maybe there was some hope for her after all. She hobbled off towards the shower, trying to sort everything out. Everything about him and surrounding him felt so right, yet everything she knew, knew it to be wrong. But he loved her in return…'that has to count for something somewhere.'

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'Data pad…data pad. Of all things—don't forget to ask him for the data pad.' Katarin had to keep reminding herself, for she felt certain that around Obi-Wan, after this afternoon, she would forget. She didn't bother to knock—he said he'd be there.

"Hello? Obi-Wan…?" She called out, quickly scanning the room, sensing his closeness…his and his alone.

"Yes Katarin?" He emerged from a side room with nothing but a dark blue towel around his waist, running a hand through his wet hair. 'Oh force….' Katarin's eyes inadvertently flew to his chest, watching his muscles as he moved.

"The data pad, Obi-Wan," she forced herself to finally say, tearing her eyes from his chest, "I came for the data pad." 'Stupid, blabbering idiot!' 'From you it's sweet." Her cheeks burned and she glared at him playfully.

"Here it is." He said sweetly, a laugh on his voice as he picked it off the table. He let his eyes travel back to hers, in awe at their almost glow in the low light. He noticed she was dressed in full Jedi robes, as she so often was not. And the way her curls fell lazily around her shoulders, framed her face behind her lenses in a most alluring way. 'She is way too dressed….' 'Excuse me?'

"Here's your data pad." He suddenly, softly said, walking closer to her, hand extended.

"You didn't answer my question." She quickly, pointedly said, taking the pad and shoving it deep in her robe, fighting to keep her body calm.

"I said 'you're too missed.'" He said coyly, smiling playfully. 'I've told you before—lying does not become you.'

'You're right my dear—it becomes you so much better.' He smiled jokingly, holding her eyes longingly.

'Now we're talking….' She pressed her lips against his without taking a step as his arms wrapped around her. He felt so amazingly good—his warm skin beneath her fingers, smooth lips tracing hers gently. Instinctively he pressed his hips tight against hers and let go his mind—living and feeling the moment—and all that mattered was Katarin. With her tight against him, he could not wish for not much more.

Katarin loved the feel of him against her, so much so that as his hands slid her robe from her shoulders, she shut down her mind. Everything her training taught her was screaming against her—she absolutely should not. But Katarin found herself unwilling to stop—these feelings for and with Obi-Wan were everything…just everything. She heard the snap of a buckle and felt her belt fall away as his hands crept under the folds of her tunic, running in small, dizzying circles across her stomach.

"Now what would Qui-Gon say if he walked in right now?" She asked breathlessly, shocking even herself. He looked up from her neck.

"He'd say to stop," he heard himself say, "or," he added hopefully, "he'd say to get a room…." He said playfully, but with a much more serious question to his eyes that bordered on hurt at seeing her sudden stop.

"So why don't we?" She whispered almost silently, glancing quickly at the room he'd come from, before back to him, a mischievous loving, desiring light to her eyes. He smiled wickedly, alluringly before she turned towards the bedroom door. He stooped and gathered her robe and belt in hand before joining her and locking the door.

Before long they lay together, bodies locked tight, building a rhythm between them leading to crescendo. Sides of the force were forgotten—Jedi or Sith meant nothing to either of them. Simply they were a man and woman wanting, needing, giving, loving.

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Slowly her eyes drifted open, greeted by the warm sight of the rising sun and Obi-Wan's content, handsome face. Of course she remembered how she came to be in his bed, tangled in his body. Never before had she felt so warm…so loved. Katarin bit her lip and fought back tears.

But never again. Never again could she let his happen—'hell, it shouldn't even have happened once!' She kissed his lips softly, before quietly and reluctantly rising, quickly finding her discarded clothing.

"Against both sides of the force, I love you Obi-Wan. And somewhere I know I always will." She whispered quietly as she looked over him as he peacefully slept. Her heart was shattering, but her mind was screaming it was the right thing to do. She turned and fled his quarters, torn in her heart and mind.

The feel of his every touch still lingered, filling her with such feelings and happiness as she'd ever known. And not even the thought of ruling the galaxy was more appealing than another night in Obi-Wan's loving, passionate embrace.

She stopped cold in the hallway. That thought scared her. Had Obi-Wan turned her around? Turned her to the light-side of the force…? 'Setti is going to scream…if he isn't already….'

These feelings had to be locked away and never brought to the surface again. That was the only possible solution she could think of. Memories that she would keep only for herself—memories of the one night she spent as a woman in the arms of the man she loved.

Love…both the Sith and Jedi orders should reject her. Katarin had formed the deepest attachment humans can, next to parents and children. And in no way did she want to let go of it. But she had to…it was required of her. 'Simple as that…,' she resolved resolutely. 'Settled then—I just can't see him. If I don't see him, keeping these feelings and memories buried will be a bit easier.'

She smiled assuredly as she continued down the hallway to her quarters, a mischievous gleam in her eyes at hiding so wonderful a secret.


shame, shame on katarin. but how could she resist obi-wan (don't think i could...). anywho, drop a review if'n ya want. if'n not, tune in about a week from now for chapter 11.