thanks to all readers & reviewers (fills me with such warm fuzzies). sorry for not getting this up earlier in the week (hectic week), but here we go...chapter 14. nearing the end...
hope you enjoy!
same warnings & disclaimers apply.
Chapter 14: Death lurks in every flower
Obi-Wan, for the first time in years, was actually having to work to reign in his anger.
She had dared to come back—that, in of itself, was an insult to every Jedi that had been or would be. And he knew just where to find her.
He had to admit it was clever of her though…clever how she avoided detection by others. Reaching out to only him, then silencing her thoughts which he knew her to be capable of doing…and knowing how she was capable of doing so. 'Damn her advanced dark side powers…,' his mind grumbled as he neared the practice room.
He was almost eager to confront her. He simply had too many questions that were plaguing his mind. Their relationship had been the most wonderful thing that he could recall happening in his life…and then she shattered everything.
He knew now why attachment was forbidden among Jedi. And he hated himself for falling…for being weak and drawn in by her. Never again would he let himself fall. 'Never again.' The door to the practice room slid open.
Her breath caught in her chest and her eyes flew to the door. Never before could she recall a look that stoic, that hateful, that angry even, crossing his usually content face. She pushed herself off the wall and just watched him watch her.
"You dare show your face here." Obi-Wan said, trying not to notice the ugly bruise covering her face, the healing cut on her forehead and lip, her unhealthy pale skin. 'The bite of conscience is indecent.'
"I've one last assignment before I make master—kill you. Despite the doubt forming in your mind," she said, as she started to circle slowly around him, unlit light saber in hand, "I assure you I could." She sounded much more confident than she felt and fought with every ounce of her will power to keep the pain at bay.
"I could kill you right now." He said coldly, almost surprised at his own tone, but not fully—this woman stole everything he offered her…just everything.
A flash of concerned confusion blew through his mind…she was limping.
"I don't blame you." She said, crossing around him.
"'Don't blame?'—don't you dare pull that on me! I want to kill you!"
"As you should, you've every right—"
"Right?" He asked in disbelief, drawing his unlit blade to his hand. "You betrayed me."
He spat coldly.
"I've betrayed everyone….even myself." She slightly winced and bit her lip as pain shot through her left side.
"It's becoming of you actually." He said cruelly, fighting not to think about her wince. She sighed, trying to hide it. Maybe she'd been right along…maybe he never did love her, despite what he'd said. "So you haven't killed me yet, maybe I should go ahead and arrest you." He said mockingly.
"But therein lies the problem—I'm to kill you before you do that."
"Don't let me stop you." He narrowed his eyes challengingly.
"You won't." Blink of an eye, she switched on her light saber, wrapping her left hand around it as best she could. She really hadn't known just how weak she was until she met his first blow. And it was taking all her concentration on fighting to keep him from slicing right though her.
Feeling the pain from her injuries was not even an option. She had to be moving too fast and thinking only on fighting. She fought against him, doing her level best to put up a decent fight. But he caught her sloppiness and lack of strength, feeling almost insulted at her lack-luster performance.
This was not even close to the spar they had a few weeks back. Not even close. She pushed his light saber back and shot out her right hand, sending him flying back across the room as her light saber fell through the involuntary loose grip of her left hand.
They now stood apart, breathing deeply. He watched her face twist into a horrible grimace as her hands flew to her left side and she fought to keep from crumpling over. For one split moment, his anger was forgotten.
She looked on the verge of collapse and of breaking into tears. His heart cried out for her. She had shattered it completely and he couldn't understand how he could ever feel anything else but hatred for her, yet…here she was…and here he was. Without warning she crumpled at the knees, kneeling to the ground with her face against the padded floor. An unclenched left hand, with bent fingers loosely directed at a point towards Obi-Wan slowly rose as she breathed deep.
"Just give me a minute…." Her voice, strained with pain filtered over to Obi-Wan's ears and he almost had to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. She made it sound like all she needed to do was catch her breath—'damn her pride'—when obviously, with her crumpled on the floor, there was much more to it than that.
"Are you trying to kill yourself before I do?" He heard himself ask with a rather nasty tone to his voice, surprising himself. No response came from the other side of the room other than her lowering her left hand and the continuation of her quick, deep breathing. Finding nothing better to do, he settled back against the wall, ignoring the voice in his heart yelling at him to go over and help her. "So what happened?" He calmly asked.
"What do you care?" Her voice, full of venom and coldness, pierced his heart. His love and care for her had never been the issue—she was the one who had lied to him, and in all likelihood, lied about her love for him. He should be asking her that question—not the other way around. Her harsh comment stung, and he wanted nothing more than to rub it in her face—make her regret she ever said it.
"So…I see you've gone back to red…" He bit his tongue as he forced himself to say anything else but what he really wanted to say. 'Saying my anger and insulting her only drags me down to her level…,' he reasoned.
"Yeah, the blue light saber was about to kill me…." She said point-blank, trying to muster a little bit of humor as her head slowly rose.
"It still could." He said as he rose from where he sat, watching her shakily move to her feet, noticing tear streaks down her cheeks. His heart faltered.
"How well I know." She answered quietly. A breath and they were at it again as she flew towards him, determined and resolved to end this once and for all. Complete her mission and this would all be over.
More and more she was finding it difficult to fight against him. She used more strength then she realized in the first round and was now wearing out, and starting to make stupid mistakes. She swung her blade out, suddenly missing him as he moved it faster than she could think.
His right hand flew out and wrapped around her throat, pushing her against the wall as he neared his blade to her neck. She knew what would come next and could only wait…and hope. But release never came. She calmly opened her eyes, only to meet Obi-Wan's, laced with confusion, disbelief.
"You want me to kill you don't you?" He quietly asked, absolutely blown away by the calm composure on her face as she had waited for her possible death. Not even a flinch, in fact, he noticed she was smiling ever so slightly.
"I would be lying if I said no." She openly admitted, not caring if that changed his view of her. He already hated her…so what was the point of caring anymore?
"Katarin…you shouldn't wish for that." He heard himself say as he tired to sort through the confusion plaguing his mind and heart.
"If you were me you would." She said pointedly, swallowing hard against his hand still around her throat. He shook his head as he pulled away from her, taking his hand from her throat. "I've lost everything from my rank to half my physical range of motion…and the only person I ever held dear. I literally have nothing left." She explained watching that stoic, unemotional look cross his face.
He was fighting with himself—Katarin could tell. Obi-Wan desperately tried to block out all her words, having vowed to himself that never again would he let himself feel for anyone, least of all her. 'There is no emotion; there is peace.'
"You need medical attention before security comes." He suddenly said, his voice devoid of all emotion—just as he wanted it to be. She looked at him almost panic stricken.
"What! You summoned security? And medics? You're supposed to kill me!" She asked in disbelief as she limped away from the wall—a look of pure fear and shock on her face—'this is not how its supposed to happen!'.
"It's the Jedi way," he calmly, stoically answered, "and security not yet…but a medic yes. You don't have to tell me what happened, but your injuries need to be seen to." He turned from her and walked towards the door, hoping the medic would arrive soon.
Katarin was only looking worse and worse, and it tore at his heart…however much he didn't want it to. The hum of a light saber reached his ears. 'Death rides on every passing breeze, He lurks in every flower.' He flew around, seeing the blue blade of energy as she flipped it around and turned it on herself, searing pain momentarily ripping through her skin before peace.
The only thing Obi-Wan was aware of was nothing—not his running feet, his echoing voice. Katarin had just killed herself with his light saber. He reached her side, staring down at her now lifeless body in complete disbelief. Such an act was beyond him—lost to him as to why….wasn't it?
Her loving him went against everything—her training, her master, her mission. 'I've betrayed everyone….even myself.' 'I've lost…the only person I ever held dear.' He shut his eyes, attempting to block it all out. This shouldn't matter—'don't get attached to the dead—they drag you down.'
His eyes sunk to the light saber in her limp hand. Best to leave it? Or take it and run? He couldn't be sure…he needed time to think—to meditate and clear his head. Katarin had just killed herself—the woman who, against all reason, still held his heart.
He solidly rose, squeezing his eyes shut, swallowing hardly. The medics would be here soon, he had already summoned them. He turned from her body and fled the practice room, never looking back. The Council would find him in time. Right now, Obi-Wan just needed time…time and space.
there you have it. tune in later this week for the final installment--thanks for sticking with it! drop a review if'n ya wants, if not--tune in next week for the conclusion.
