Hah. Well this is my first Saiyuki fiction.

Title: Let your Hair Down
Description: After waking up from a drunken celebration in Heaven, Kanzeon decides to stir things up a bit. Meanwhile, Gojyo feels bored andgoes looking for something new. SanzoxGoku, some JiroshinxKanzeon and some weirder pairings later on.
Rated: M. For language, mostly Gojyo's, indecent exposure on the part of Kanzeon, and mature subject matter.
A/N: I drew a picture of Kanzeon (at my deviantart account if you're interested) and got a good idea for a doujinshi, but I don't have the willpower for another doujinshi right now, so I wrote a fanfiction.
Kanzeon really doesn't get enough love in the fandom world, because se is really damned cool. One of my favorite characters, and must have a lot of fun in the sack.

Also, I will refer to Kanzeon here with mixed pronouns: Se, Hir, Hirself, Se'd.
Because I HATE it (times a million) when people refer to Kanzeon as "she". I haven't seen anyone refer to hir as "he" but I'd hate that just as much. Kanzeon is a hermaphrodite, se's got everything from both genders. I know it's a little annoying to read but you'll fell better afterwards, trust me.

I've got a long conviluded plot on the way, so enjoy the ride.


Let your hair down

Ch. 1 the Peach Banquet

The first things Kanzeon did that morning were the things se always did. Se squeezed hir eyes shut tight, once, then blinked. Then se rubbed a hand through hir scalp. One thing, though, was different: there was a biting pain in hir spine.

As hir bleary half-closed crusty eyes adjusted to the setting, hir brain following lazily after, last night's events slowly came back. Why do Gods have to get eye crusts? se thought absent-mindedly and raised a long painted fingernail to clear them out.


Se arrived at the party at nine-thirty, way past 'fashionably late' to a time se dubbed 'I-don't-give-a-shit-so-I'm-waiting-'till-the-booze-are-out late'. Surprisingly, things were a lot rowdier than usual. Several of Heaven's high ranking tightwads were dancing topless on furniture and the rest were behaving like a bunch of drunken giggling 16 year olds. Well most of them are anyway, se sighed and made hir way over to Jiroshin. He was standing rigidly by a wall, holding a plastic cup filled with frothy beer.

"Somebody shove that stick up a little further, Jiro?" se yawned casually, plucking the cup out of his fingers and casting an impressed glance over the crowd.

"Pardon, Master Bosatsu?"

"Nothing."

Jiroshin was quiet for a minute, then ventured, "I kept the glass for you."

"I figured."

"I don't know who brought all this strong alcohol but it's been disappearing faster then they can refill."

Kanzeon snorted, "I can see that."

Se shot hir underling a quick, hopeless glance before heading out among the sweat and piss and god-knows-what-else of Heaven's best and brightest.

Across the room se spotted a strikingly handsome young man, probably some low class soldier se'd never seen before. He was dancing wildly and shot a seductive glance at Kanzeon. Se felt a satisfactory stirring in both places between hir legs and pushed hir way over.


Kanzeon grunted. That was as far as se could remember last night's 'banquet'. Finally se thought to look down at hirself.

A limp dress shirt was flung around hir shoulders. Not what I was wearing, se thought. Se'd never be caught in a big shirt like this, after all what was the fun of D-cup tits if you couldn't show them off? No, se'd arrived in a slinky black belly top with a killer bra and tight striped pants; an outfit that showed off all of hir rather impressive endowments.

The killer bra was still mostly there but se noticed a rather uncomfortable tightness around hir manhood and saw that a tight thong was struggling to contain its contents.

Weird, se thought for the second time, I don't even wear underwear.

Finally hir groggy mind put together what had probably happened. Images of sweaty tangled limbs hit her just as an angry headache pounded through hir skull.

Fuck.

"Fuck." se grabbed hir forehead and grimaced.

The other hand pressed against the wall se'd been sleeping against and se slid up slowly.

"Fuck," se said again.

"Master?"

Se cracked an eye open and noticed Jiroshin moving towards hir, still wearing the same clothing and sleepy, but obviously not hungover. Normally se'd have scolded him for missing a great chance to have some fun, but today se was grateful he was sober.

"C'mere," se waved a free hand at him urgently and wrapped it around his neck, "Where's the damned kitchen?"

Slowly they moved forward, se kept hir arm around him for support and he put a hesitant hand on hir waist to steady hir.

Jiroshin hoped se wouldn't notice the blush that crept over his face when his master leaned hir weight into him. Hir attention, however, was focused with animal single-mindedness on the thought of something to get rid of hir pounding bulldog headache.

He sighed, maybe he should've let loose a little like his master was always telling him, then he could have told hir...and then they...

"Hon? You're makin' a weird face."

He snapped out of his reverie and mumbled a long apology. Then he turned his energies towards getting his master some relief, trying to ignore the swell of hir breast against his side or the skimpy clothing that covered hir less then usual.

Already the kitchen was bustling with servants. Steam and shots of smoke flavored the air with delicious smells. Kanzeon's nose told hir that it must be around lunchtime. Hir stomach growled, but se could deal with that later.

A skinny looking errand boy of some description rushed pass, close enough that Kanzeon could swat the side of his head with hir free hand.

"Whatthehellwasthatfor?" he spun around and immediately turned beet red.

"M-Master Bosatsu! I didn't expect to see your radiant presence in our humble kitchen," he sputtered on uselessly.

"Cut the shit, kid." He stopped. "I need something to get rid of this hangover, now."

With more bows and apologies and spit he dashed off. Kanzeon was feeling better all ready as Jiroshin sat hir down at a large table. The surface was thick and lacquered but was still covered in dents and slices. Se supposed it was going to be used very soon to make one of hir co-worker's meals, but one of the perks of being the Heavenly Goddess of Love and Mercy was nobody dared bug you about where you sat. Se was actually feeling a little perkier, taking in all the smells and bustle of the kitchen, until the uncomfortable pulling at hir crotch brought even less pleasant thoughts.

Se could remember the soldier, but everything they had done had been a blank.

Shit, what if I get pregnant?

What if I got herpes or something?

Can gods even get STDs?

Wait, when was my last period?

Fuck, my head hurts.

Even though se could only remember the soldier, the underwear told hir there'd been a girl too.

Oh shit, what if I got someone else pregnant?

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, having a little me running around...wait.

Yes it would.

"I hate being so fuckable," se muttered into the table.

"M-m-m-master!"

At that moment, the boy came rushing back, sparing Jiroshin some embarrassment. It was hard to tell who was redder: Jiroshin or the kitchen boy.

"Great Honorable Kanzeon Bosatsu, beautiful lotus among these filthy thorns..."

"Kid?"

"Yes, Oh Wonderful..."

"I thought I mentioned something earlier about cutting the shit?"

"Ah, yes, that's right...uh...Master...uh..."

"Look I don't care if you care if you call me perverted old hag. Just give me something to fix my headache," Kanzeon tried to be patient with the boy but se really hated these ass-kissing type of weakling.

"Ah, well, yes..." the boy made a weird scrunching motion with his nose, "uh...Master Bosatsu. You see, that's the problem..."

Kanzeon's head shot up and immediately se regretted it.

"We, uh, don't seem to have anything that would help."

Hir body went rigid, se just stared at the boy as if he was had just told hir se was about to die. An uncomfortable bubble of silence surrounded the three.

"You're kidding me."

The boy shook his head.

"We live in Heaven, the dwelling place of Gods and immortals filled with magic and power beyond any human's imagination, and you don't have anything to cure a hangover?"

Kanzeon hissed out the last words and the boy thought that the great Goddess of Love and Mercy was about to rip his head from his body.

The long uncomfortable silence in their little bubble stretched and swelled. Jiroshin couldn't tell how long had passed, but finally his master stood on shaky legs and motioned him over. They made their way out of the kitchen, to the immense relief of the boy, and picked across the furniture, garbage and bodies strewn over the room.

Apparently they were some of the first ones awake; there were a lot of gods still sleeping around the immense house.

Outside, the day was disgustingly sunny and bright, as it often was in Heaven, and Kanzeon shut hir eyes against the offensive light. Se trusted that Jiroshin could get them home on his own. The itching and pressing against hir crotch were really starting to bug hir. Se was usually in such a good mood too, but this hangover made hir irritable. Finally se stopped Jiroshin, and before he could ask what was wrong, yanked the offending underwear off and flung it into the garden. No doubt some servant would find it later and return it to its owner.

Hell, maybe then I'll find out if I'm a Daddy.

Jiroshin spent the rest of the walk back shooting withering glares at anyone who stopped to stare at his now completely exposed and very disheveled master.


Well, that's the first chapter. I've already got the second one started. w00t.

next up!
Around the Campfire. In which the Sanzou-ikkou defeat Gonorrhea and Kanzeon decides to take a vacation.

I'd like to get at least 3 reviews before I post up the next chapter. So I think you know what to do.

cough purplebutton cough