Kagome: oops. Apparently, Evil here had been forgetting her disclaimers.
Evil: Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.
Inuyasha: no duh.
Evil: that disclaimer shall apply to all chapters before and after this one. Comprend?
Inuyasha: what does comprend mean?
Sesshoumaru: it's far too complex for you, Inuyasha.
Inuyasha: yeah, says the person who proposed to Miroku. Now that's got to be the smartest thing anyone's ever done.
Sesshoumaru: why thank you.
Kagome: Oh my God!
Evil: what?
Kagome: they're—they're having a civil conversation!
Evil: mm-hm.
Inuyasha: ECK! We are! I hate you, Sesshoumaru!
Sesshoumaru: …
Rin: Inuyasha hates Sesshoumaru-sama! Inuyasha hates Sesshoumaru-sama! Ladeedadeeda…!
Evil: Rin, shut up.
Rin: sniff Sesshoumaru-saaaaama, she told Rin to shut up… sniff
Sesshoumaru: …I hate this story…
Evil: WHAT?
Sesshoumaru: …I…hate…this…story…
Evil: oh. That's very nice, Fluffy. Let me tell you this now: I…don't…care. Besides, you can't hate it. I'll make you like it. Just you see…
Kagome: she wants me to tell all you reviewers that she thanks you for your ideas. They will be used.
Evil: thank you Kagome. I'm shy, and simply could not say that myself. Thank you again, and on with the show…
Several months had passed, and Kagome was beginning to get bored with just hypnotizing Koga into kissing Kagura, or making Miroku grope Inuyasha, or making Shippou ask his girlfriend out. She wanted some real excitement. And there was only one that could do that.
"OH SESSHOUMARU!" Kagome would yell every so often into the trees. "I'VE STOLEN RIN'S TEDDY! I THINK SHE WANTS IT BACK!"
And occasionally, Sesshoumaru would reply, "Rin does not have a teddy."
And, even more rarely, Rin would shout, "RIN DOES HAVE A TEDDY! BUT RIN'S TEDDY IS SPECIAL. RIN'S TEDDY IS ALIVE."
So, on those extraordinary occasions, Kagome would call back to Rin, "Can I see your teddy Rin?"
And Rin sometimes would respond, "OKAY!"
And today just so happened to be one of those days. But you see, Kagome had not yet seen Rin's teddy. And so she was very sad, for Kagome had dearly wanted to see Rin's teddy.
But, today was different. A couple of minutes after Rin had last replied, there was a rustling in the bushes to Kagome's left. Rin's head poked out, then the rest of her body. Her right hand was holding onto something in the bushes, and she tugged hard on the hand.
Out popped Sesshoumaru, followed by Jakken.
Kagome grinned and quickly pulled out her hypnocharm. Dangling it from on finger in front of Sesshoumaru's face (she had to stand on tiptoes) she let it swing back and forth.
Surprisingly, Sesshoumaru actually looked at the charm and his eyes followed it, back and forth, back and forth.
"Okay," said Kagome, trying to think of something for Sesshoumaru (aka. Rin's teddy) to do. Preferably something strange and embarrassing… she glanced around the circle at her companions. Finally, her gaze alighted on Jakken. A smirk spread across her lips and she turned to Sesshoumaru.
Pulling him down so she could reach, she whispered into his ear, "Kiss Jakken, please."
She backed up and stood with Sango, grinning.
"What did you make him do?" she asked.
"I dunno," said Kagome innocently. Sango rolled her eyes.
Sesshoumaru approached Jakken, who backed away, looking frightened.
"Sesshoumaru-sama," he said. "What are you doing? Sesshoumaru-sama?"
Sesshoumaru picked Jakken up and said, "Jakken, you have been a most faithful servant, what with letting me kill you and all."
"Uh, yes Sesshoumaru-sama," said Jakken, glancing down at the ground far below his little, three-toed feet. He wriggled a little in Sesshoumaru's hands.
"So, Jakken, my most charming, handsome and loyal servant," said Sesshoumaru boldly, without any hesitation, "I shall give you this."
And he planted a big, wet kiss on Jakken's mouth (er, I mean, beak-thingy…)
A second later, the spell broke and Sesshoumaru realized what he was doing, and so he promptly dropped Jakken.
Sango, Inuyasha, Miroku, Shippou, and Kagome doubled over in wild laughter, and even little Rin joined in with a couple of suppressed giggles. Jakken looked absolutely mortified, and Sesshoumaru looked plainly confused.
"Rin, Jakken, come," he commanded and strode with as much dignity as he could muster, into the woods once again, leaving a leap of laughing monks, demon-slayers, hanyous, mikos, and kitsunes lying on the ground, on top of poor old Kirara, whom nobody ever noticed.
Evil: I hope I did that idea justice. It was a very funny idea, and had plenty of potential. I just hope that I managed to fulfill a good deal of it.
Kagome: she also means to say that she's sorry for not updating sooner, and that was because she had only just gotten back from Prince Edward Island (aka PEI) very late last night.
Evil: and I'd been there for three weeks. I now have an authentic Island accent, sort of.
Kagome: she has a cottage down there. A very nice cottage, too, as I hear from her. Of course, she's never invited me to come with her sometime…
Evil: no, I haven't. Good observation.
Kagome: I'm hurt! I do all this slaving for you all the time, in Truth or Dare, and in Sesshoumaru Does Ballet, Who Knew? and you still don't even reward me.
Evil: I do so reward you! You can manipulate Sesshoumaru! You freaking got to see him naked! Argh! And you say I don't reward you! Hmph!
Sesshoumaru: … I kissed Jakken... I kissed Jakken… oh… my…God…
Evil: Ah! Sesshoumaru said oh my God! Oh my God! He said something human! YAY!
Sesshoumaru: you must be rubbing off on me. Ugh, I feel polluted. I'll have to go bathe for a while.
Kagome and Evil: sweet.
Shippou: since they're all so busy daydreaming about Inuyasha's brother—
Inuyasha: HE'S NOT MY BROTHER!
Shippou: ahem. About Inuyasha's brother going skinny-dipping, I should think that Evil would want me to tell you that she appreciates reviews, especially if they contain ideas for other things that Kagome could do.
Evil: tips hat Cheerio, then! We're off to see Sesshoumaru skinny-dipping, the wonderful Sesshoumaru… skips off singing
