Why does everything have to be so complicated? Why can't I love? Why can't I hate? Why can't I feel? At least that's what's everyone thinks. Well they're wrong. I can love. I can hate. I can feel. I can do lots of things but no one cares. Why not? I'm special to. I may not be the handsomest guy on earth but hey, I'm not ugly. They think that I can't hear them. They think that I can't hear the murderous words they say in my presence. They think I cant but I can. I hear every little thing. He's a monster. He's stupid. He killed his mother.

I did not kill my mother. I didn't. She did it, not me. Not me. Why can't they see that? Why can't they see that I loved her and she died? She left me too. I didn't kill her and I didn't make dad leave either. He left himself. I hate him. I'm not a monster either. I'm not. I'm just different, gifted in other ways. I am not a monster. I hate them all!

All of them except for her. She brings me…peace. Peace and hope. She is the one thing that lets me know tomorrow will be all right. I look at her and my heart begins to pound in my chest. I look at her and my breath catches in my throat. I want to hold her so much. I want to hold her and let her know that I'll be there for her always. To let her know that I'll love her forever.

If I did that…I would be selfish. Too Many obstacles block me from her. For one I cant hold her. No…I cant…it hurts me every time I feel her gaze on me or when her hand caresses my arm. Right now she's downstairs cooking. Cooking for that baka rat and idiot dog and me. I wish it were only for me. I wish I could get away from here. I wish I could escape from all this pain, hurt, anger. I wish I could escape her. She does not love me. Of that I am certain. No matter how many times she touches my arm, calls my name, cares for my wounds, she will never feel affection for me.

Why should she? I am a monster. Even if it's not true I can feel it inside. That beast feeding on my fury, hurt and pain. I stand by my window and gaze outside. I can see the flowers growing in the lawn. Beautiful…just like her. I hear her sweet voice outside my door letting me know dinner is done. I smile slightly. I'll make my time last with her. I will cherish it forever. That's a promise.

Hi peeps! I was feeling so much hurt and anger today I just decided to let it all out in writing. I think this is how Kyo reflects on his life while he's alone. To me his 'crush' on Tohru is tragic. He can never be with her because of that stupid curse and because of that stupid Akito-san who is nothing but a cross dressing freakI cannae wait to finish the manga. Please review.