A Most Cliché Makeover

Harry squeezed his eyes shut as he practically felt his molecules breaking down and rearranging themselves: a strangely painless sensation. When he felt solid again he opened his eyes and found himself standing in front of the local high school. Next to him were Shiva and Tai, the latter looking as lost and bewildered as he felt.

"What...the hell...was that?" Tai asked slowly.

'Couldn't have put it better myself,' Harry thought.

"That, my delicious partner-in-crime, is called shadow walking. It's a natural form of transportation for space demons," Shiva said haughtily as she examined her fingernails. "You may praise me now."

"That was wicked, that's what it was," stated Harry excitably. He felt like a child as he literally bounced on the balls of his feet, but he didn't care. "That was like apparating—only better! You have got to teach me that!"

Shiva laughed, "I'm not sure if would work for a human, but I'll see what I can do."

"Hold on," Tai interrupted. "How come I've never seen this happen before?"

Shiva grinned at him sheepishly.

"Well, for some reason, it doesn't work in the Digiworld. It only works in the real world."

Tai looked confused, "Huh? But that doesn't make sense..."

"I know, I know. But we really need to get shopping now. Harry, do you know any good stores? I can't actually shadow-walk to places I've never been before."

"Not around here, there might be some in London though," He answered.

"We don't have time for that," Tai argued. Harry grinned—now it was time for his surprise.

"Then let me introduce you to the knight bus," he pulled his wand from his back pocket and smugly lifted it into the air.

0o0o0o0o0o


0o0o0o0o0o

"That was awesome!" Tai exclaimed as they climbed off the knight bus. Harry grinned in agreement. Of course he might have been grinning because of the number of times Shiva banged her head on the window. He had yet to make the distinction.

"So now what?" Harry asked, looking at the only female of the group.

Shiva rubbed her sore head one last time before linking arms with both of her victims and dragging them down the London streets.

"Harry, I've got the perfect style picked out for you. It's all in my head."

"Merlin save me," Harry muttered. He did not want to be dressing in preppy clothes like his cousin used to...nor in a "gangster" style as Dudley did now. The very thought sickened him. So he was quite pleased when he found himself standing amidst racks and racks of simple, casual garments.

He wasn't as pleased with the load of clothes that soon piled in his arms, which continued to get heavier and heavier as Shiva and a male clerk (who openly announced his sexual preferences with a few well delivered innuendos to a panic stricken demi-god) tossed clothing at him.

"Alright! That's a good start. Try them on hunny buns!" Shiva said after she thought they had a sufficient start with the clothing.

"I'll say..." Rudolf, the clerk, murmured while staring avidly at Harry's 'buns'. Unfortunately Harry heard him and threw a scathing look over his shoulder as he marched towards the dressing rooms.

"I am such a goddess!" Harry could hear Shiva praising herself. He just about found himself agreeing with her as he slipped on a pair of faded denim jeans and a fitting, dusty red t-shirt. He never realized he could pull clothes off like this before. He had always feared that donning better fitting clothes would reveal his certain lack of broad shoulders and barely adequate height. But these, in fact, fit his lithe form well and proved he was not as gangly as the hand-me-downs made him appear. He nervously stepped out of the dressing room to seek Shiva's approval.

"Oh My! I haven't been this turned on since...well, since the guy with the ponytail walked in!" exclaimed Rudolf as his eyes roamed over Harry's body. Harry found himself distinctly uncomfortable.

"Turn around," Shiva commanded. Harry rolled his eyes but complied.

"Mmm, will you look at that butt in those pants?" Shiva mumbled.

"Baby, I couldn't agree more." Agreed Rudolf.

Harry quickly went back to facing them with a glare.

"Well," Shiva said in a professional manner, "try on the rest."

For the next hour, Shiva and Rudolf had made Harry try on and model dozens of clothing. They decided that dark or faded colors were more his thing and Harry had to agree. He didn't take to a specific style; he simply liked simple clothing—jeans, shirts, hoodies.

Tai got to spend most of the time napping in a chair outside the dressing room, much to the young wizard's envy.

In the end, Harry finished his wardrobe shopping with about 7 pairs of pants varying from black denim to faded jeans, several shirts in gray or dark colors, a couple of gym pants and muscle shirts ("'Cause I know you'll be training for Tim-Tim...right?" Shiva had said with a hard look), socks, boxers, a couple of belts, a pair of running shoes, a pair of black hiking boots, a leather jacket, a jean jacket, and a suede jacket. Shiva really liked jackets.

"Shiva, I'm not going to need all these damn clothes," Harry complained as he walked out of the fifth store they visited with several bags hanging from his arms

"Oh, hush. It's good to have variety. Now its time for the fun stuff!"

Harry and Tai shared a pained look before following the fascist.

0O0o0o0o


0o0o0o0o

"This," Tai began incredulously, eyeing the store they were in front of, "is the fun stuff?"

Harry glanced up at the CVS pharmacy store before them.

"No, you fool. This is for those condoms you promised Angela and Griff," Shiva said as if it were obvious. "And we might as well get some for ourselves while we're here."

"What?" Harry asked in alarm. They were getting condoms? He found himself being physically dragged by the arm by Shiva into the store. It took her all but three minutes to come back to the counter with an armful of condom boxes.

"Do you really need that many?" Harry asked warily as they were being rung up at the counter. How much sex could these people have?

"Of course! Some of these are for us for the next time I drop by," Shiva gave him a saucy wink before skipping out of the drug store, leaving Harry standing in her wake colored red. Some part of him hoped she was serious.

Scratch that—many parts of him hoped she was serious.

When he made it outside the girl was already running down the street.

"You live with her?" Harry asked Tai. Tai just gave him a tired look that told him to shut up and started walking after her.

A few minutes later both boys found Shiva standing impatiently in front of a Tattoo and Piercing Parlor.

"Oh, Shiva...you cannot be serious," said Tai, but he had a smile on his face. Harry couldn't help but grin himself, thinking of Bill's cool earring. Then he thought of the beating he would receive from Hermione and Mrs. Weasely and his grin faltered.

"Come on Harold," Shiva laughed, pinching his cheek. "You already have the clothes of a Juvenile delinquent, you might as well look like one!"

"My name isn't Harold," Harry stated. "And they aren't that bad."

"Oh? What is it then? It can't really be just Harry, can it?"

Harry simply ginned mischievously at her before sliding through the door.

"Oh, that boy," he heard her growl before she and a laughing Tai followed him in.

0o0o0o0o0o


0o0o0o0o0o

"Well, what should we get?" Tai asked the pair of them.

"I could get an earring for my ear..." Harry said, looking at a simple gold hoop.

"Get both ears pierced," Tai said, "I haven't been in the human world much but that's what guys are doing now. I'll get it done too."

"Oh really?" Harry asked. He wouldn't know much about men getting piercings since the only one he ever really saw was Bill's and he himself hadn't been in the muggle world for long.

"Yeah, and when you grow out of it, all you have to do is taken 'em out and they'll eventually close up," Shiva said. "I think I'll get a nose ring."

And that's what she got, in addition to her already triple pierced ears, as Harry and Tai both got both lobes pierced.

"Ya know... I think I want a nipple ring," Tai stated randomly. Harry started choking on air as Shiva squealed with delight.

"Oh my god, that would be so cool! Harry, get something else too."

Harry stared at her. He was already in enough shit from his imaginary Mrs. Weasely as it were...oh what the hell.

"Fine, how bout one of those thick rings on the upper part of my ear?"

"Now that's what I'm talking about! I'll get an eyebrow ring."

And so another round of piercing later, and Harry found he still wasn't satisfied. Something about the needle piercing his flesh made him feel bad—in a good way. It was as if he were crushing the whole image of the Boy-Who-Lived.

"I need more," He said to the guardians.

"More?" Tai asked, "Oh! Oh! Get a ring for your nipple! Like me!"

As if to prove his point he lifted up his shirt to expose the sore flesh with a new ring punctured through it.

"Ha, not my thing." Harry grinned. "But I think I'd like a tongue ring. Good for scaring people."

The man doing the piecing shook his head at Harry as though he were crazy but complied.

"You kids done yet?" The man asked after finishing up with Harry. "I got to go on my lunch break."

"No, no" Shiva stopped him. "We need tattoos now."

'Die Boy-Who-Lived, die!' Harry thought savagely.

Shiva had gotten a tattoo on her right hipbone of an intricate design of a Celtic wheel ("I'm obsessed," she admitted) while Tai had a fierce, flaming phoenix tattoo (Harry described to him what a phoenix was) on his right arm ("Very mannish," Shiva said while wiggling her eyebrows).

As soon as his first tattoo, an Ankh on his left bicep, was completed, Harry demanded another one. The second one was designed after the Seal of Cagliostro, something he remembered seeing a few times in different books at Hogwarts. The tattoo was a snake in the shape of an S with a finely crafted arrow plunged diagonally through it (Tai later explained to him it was a sacred arrow—whatever the hell that was). It wasn't so much the design as the size of it that was shocking. The tattoo was placed on his back and stretched from just above his tailbone to the middle of his shoulder blades. Tai and Shiva's diagnosis on his needle problem had only been confirmed.

The three of them walked out of the store together, laughing at their new additions while the owner happily started on a tuna sandwich.

"Oh, damn!" Harry laughed, loving the feel of the metal through his tongue; "I cannot wait to see the look on Hermione's face when she sees this!"

His words may have sounded a bit more garbled to their ears due to the new obstical in his mouth.

"My dear boy, we are not finished with you yet!" Shiva giggled happily

"We're not?" Harry asked surprised.

"We're not?" Tai repeated wearily.

"No, we're not."

0o0o0o0o


0o0o0o0o

After spicing up their bodies with tattoos and piercing, the three of them grabbed a quick lunch at a small pub. Then Shiva dragged the two young men to a little place to get Harry some new glasses. This was something Harry was all for.

His current ones still had bits of scotch-tape stuck to the nose brace from his youth.

When they arrived at the shop, small world that it is, the owner of the store happened to be a very good friend of a friend of Shiva and Tai's—(talk about connections)—a fox demon.

Disguised as a human, the demon was an attractive man about an inch shorter than Tai (making him 5'9-ish) and looked to be about thirty with short, reddish-brown hair. Shiva, ever the so easily excitable, literally launched herself at him, asking an array of questions on "Isha", their friend of the owner's, health.

The owner was more than happy to help out any friend of "Isha" and took the three of them in the back of the store where he had a lab set up. There he had Harry pick out whichever frame suited him the most. Harry decided on a pair of small rectangular frames and the demon took them into another room. Twenty minutes later he brought them back out. They were tinted yellow.

"Try them on," Shippo (as he had introduced himself earlier) urged. Cautiously, Harry placed the glasses on his face and gasped. The skin and muscle on everyone in the room vanished, leaving just the bones visible.

"What?" Shiva and Tai asked eagerly.

"I—I can see your skeletons!"

Shippo grinned, "Look at Shiva, and don't concentrate as hard."

Harry complied while Shiva gave Shippo a hard look. Harry found himself whistling as he observed the beauty in front of him.

"Black lace knickers Shiva? Don't tell me you wore those just for me!"

"ARRGH!" Shiva growled as she punched Harry in the chest, whipped around, and punched a laughing fox demon in the stomach. She didn't need to punch Tai; he had held his hands up in submission. Smart man.

"These are amazing!" Harry said happily. These glassed were as useful as Mad Eye's eye. Shiva crossed her arms and grumbled her disagreement.

"Oh, that's not all," Shippo said sounding very pleased with himself. "Concentrate on one of the bricks on the wall and picture it up close. Then think 'magnify'."

Harry did so and faintly noticed the glasses shimmer from yellow to blue. But most of his attention was focused elsewhere.

"Whoa!" Harry exclaimed.

"What now?" Tai asked in interest.

"They zoomed in on it! There's a lot of dirt on there..."

Shippo smiled at him, "These glasses have six features with a different color for each one. They are triggered by a mental thought. Complicated fox magic; I doubt you'll meet any other humans with them.

The first mode is normal—you literally just think in your head 'normal' and they'll appear clear. The next one is 'sun'; they'll turn into sunglasses. Then there is 'nocturnal' where they turn green, 'infrared' where they turn red, they turn yellow with the 'x-ray' feature, and with 'magnify' they turn blue."

"Good," Shiva muttered. "They're color coded so I know what you're doing."

"Oh Merlin," Harry said, plunking down in a chair. He was still trying to get used to the fact that there were demons walking around. Now he had one making him custom made glasses that would put Mad Eye's eye to shame. Shippo chuckled.

"A lot to take in, I know. You can change the intensity of each feature by varying levels of concentration. It may take a while to get used to so practice with them alright?"

Harry nodded dumbly before shaking his hand and thanking him profusely.

"How much will this cost?" Shiva asked.

"Just the regular price of glasses," Shippo said, ringing them up at the front of the store. He looked at Harry with a twinkle in his eye freakishly like Dumbledore's.

Harry opened his mouth to argue—these glasses had to be beyond expensive—but Shippo predicted the movement and held up a hand.

"This is a favor to a friend—they're more like training wheels, anyhow. Besides, I have a feeling I'll be owing you in the future," the vague statement left Harry blinking. Shippo turned his attention back to Shiva. "Make sure to say 'hi' to Inuyasha for me if you see him first. Though judging by his sudden interest in this one, he'll be visiting England soon."

He winked at them before attending to another pair of customers that just walked in.

Harry stumbled out of the store in shock, blinking at the outrageously bright light, until he realized he left the glasses on zoom.

'Sun,' he thought and instantly everything tinted a shade darker and his eyes gained new protection from the sun.

"Alright last stop!" Shiva said happily, skipping into a hair salon.

"Thank god!" Tai praised before following her in.

Shiva and the hairdresser spent the better part of an hour excitedly deciding what to do with Harry's hair; they had some leeway due to the extra length harry had grown over the last couple weeks.

The final product made both girls sigh with happiness. His hair was still messy, but much more fashionably so. It was layered and flipped out from about the bottom of his ear to the nape of his neck. His bangs fell in his face, gently brushing the top of his cheekbones, and swept on one side a little just so that his scar was visible.

Shiva smacked his hand away every time he tried to cover it up.

"You are who you are," she would say. "Loud and proud, baby!"

0o0o0o


0o0o0o

Another trip on the knight bus later and the three teenagers were standing in front of the secondary school in Surry.

"Potter, you're a real freak you know that?" Tai said, shaking his head at a very different young man than what they started out with that morning.

Harry just stuck out his tongue at Tai, tongue ring and all. In truth, with his hair and clothing, none of the piercings and tattoos were outwardly noticeable. Unless he opened his mouth wide enough.

"You do look pretty damn hot, you know that right?" Shiva asked rhetorically, leaning back and eyeing his butt in the dark blue jeans he was wearing. "A real bad ass."

"I'm not supposed to be a bad ass, you know," Harry grinned. "I'm supposed to be the misunderstood and brooding tragic hero."

Tai laughed.

"And what do you want to be?" he asked.

Harry pretended to think for a moment, "...a bad ass."

"Then that's what you shall be!" Tai grinned.

"Well, I think its time to get going, eh?" Shiva asked, wrapping her arms around Harry's shoulders from behind. The two of them disappeared in a swirl of smoky wisps—reconfiguring seconds later in his bedroom along with all the bags.

"I'm serious about you teaching me that," Harry said. Shiva giggled, and not her usual juvenile giggle—a girlish giggle that sounded almost odd coming from her. She stepped forward and began playing with the collar of his shirt.

"I will be visiting again," she said. She looked up into his eyes. He realized hers were green as well, only more of a honey green as opposed to his emerald ones.

"Good," Harry said, and he meant it. "I want to see what you really look like. I heard that you were part demon..."

"Did you now?" Shiva smirked, playing along.

"I did," He smiled. "From a very reliable source."

Shiva patted her hand against his chest.

"You know... I think you owe me a little pay back for all that money I spent on you today..."

Harry suddenly felt really guilty about all the money she spent on him and vowed to pay it all back.

"Um, I have lots of gold—" he started.

"Not that kind of pay back," Shiva interrupted. She leaned forward and quickly captured his lips with hers. Harry remained frozen in shock for a moment before deepening the kiss, pushing his tongue forward when she opened her mouth against his, hoping he was doing something right. Apparently he was because Shiva responded eagerly, meeting his tongue with her own. This was much better than what he shared with Cho. Less wet anyway. It was only a minute kiss, both of them slowly pulling away at the same time, but it was fun nonetheless.

"You know, I'm liking that tongue ring more and more," Shiva purred. Harry found his knees weakening. Shiva glanced at the clock on his desk and suddenly jumped away from him with a yelp.

"Ahhh! I've got to get back to Tai! He probably thinks I've raped you! And don't think I won't!" She said heatedly at Harry's disbelieving laugh. "I will return for the rest of my 'payment'."

"Tell Tai he's got himself an ally," He found himself saying softly.

"Whore," Shiva snickered at him before disappearing from Private Drive. It took Harry a moment to think about the circumstances in which he agreed to Tai's terms before he understood her accusation. He laughed.

"You move fast, don't you boy? You just met her today."

Harry whirled around to face the intruder, wand appearing in his hand in less than a second.

0o0o0o


0o0o0o

There we go! All caught up! And now Harry has to deal with more surprise visitors.

Thanks for the reviews moo-heads!